Sirius Contemplation To Never Read HP Again...
Let's think on this... It took me 4 years total to get through the first 2 books of Harry Potter. I mean, I did like them quite a bit but with everything going on in my life I just never quite put them first thing on my list to do. Even with Kelly badgering me and nagging me about finishing so she could get her books back I just didn't put in the effort. When she was on a frantic search for Year 5 when it came out while we were in Germany, I supported her and helped her look, but I definitely did not understand the urgency...
I read Years 3, 4 and 5 in the past 4 weeks. That's 2 books in 4 years and then 3 in one month (even without Kelly jumping down my back). What could possibly be different? Oh, maybe I connected with a particular character. Maybe I connected with a particular character that just DIED! I had about 200 pages left when someone made a comment about how something bad was going to happen to my favorite character and so I read through the night to find out what. When I read about Sirius being tortured I was scared but I knew he would be saved. It didn't occur to me until after reading about his death that I remember Katie torturing Kel last summer when she read the book before Kelly did, telling her that someone was going to die but not saying who.
Why am I making such a big deal out of this you ask? I have no idea why I feel so connected to Sirius Black but over the past 3 books I have flipped every page hoping he'd be on it. I think I cared more about what happened to him than anyone else. And when I read that he died I went into shock and then cried. I have never felt so involved in a book in all my life although I have felt connected to fictional characters before. But I feel very down, depressed, upset and almost grievous over the fact that Rowling killed Black. I kept hoping every page after that he'd come back... I am very upset over this and I feel as if I've lost all motivation to ever read one of her books again. I will not take away the fact that she is an incredibly author and got me really involved in each book of her series and that I shoudl probably continue reading them if even just to honor her ability to get me involved. But I'm contemplating not.
I know this may sound stupid to a lot of you or maybe all of you and I don't even know why I am feeling so upset over this but I have been feeling this way since 2 am this morning when I finished Year 5. Anyway, I just needed to get that all off my chest and I will kill any of you who joke me on this. I hope to post a more cheerful entry soon. By the way, if any of you know of any fanfiction in which Sirius lives, let me know, otherwise don't.
P.S. ~ I'm studying for a Calculus exam I'll be taking within the next month so if any of you have not sold your Calculus book back to the bookstore I would really like to borrow it for a bit. Thanks.