Eurovision Song Contest 2012 - Semifinal 1
It's that time of the year again, people! Eurovision Song Contest time! Wohoo!
In case you want to watch the songs, I can recommend this playlist
Montenegro: Rambo Amadeus - Euro Neuro
How can you not love someone who calls himself Rambo Amadeus? It's brilliant. I like him, and his raspy voice (and I really like the donkey in the video, though what exactly Miss Sweden was doing in there I have no idea). What I don't like is the song. Actually, not so much the song, as the weird noises in the background. They're all sharp and distorted and weird, and it's making me feel a little bit sick.
Iceland: Gréta Salóme & Jonsi - Never Forget
Oh, I love this. It's all mystery and strings and wide open Icelandic landscapes (no, it's not just the video, you can totally hear the landscapes in the song, it's just that good). It's also such a shame they're singing it in English, because the Icelandic version is sooo much more awesome, and mystic and wonderful. The English lyrics are perfectly fine, but a little banal, and the title automatically makes me \o/, as anyone who knows Take That would do. Still love it, though. I suppose it's too much to ask that the fabulous knitted sweaters from the video makes an appearance on stage?
Greece: Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac
The first of a frankly obscene amount of songs written by Swedes. This is clearly supposed to be sexy. Really, that seems to be the entire point of this number. The song is perfectly harmless, another cheap copy of My Number 1 (which I never liked in the first place), and it's not very sexy. She's working very hard to make it so, though, oh, if only the hair whipping and the grinding and the crawling on the floor worked. It doesn't. I feel very prudish, and want to give her a longer skirt and have a serious talk with the choreographer.
Latvia: Anmary - Beautiful Song
Watched the video. Stared in horror. Watched the live performance. Wanted to cover my ears in horror. Oh, dear. Oh, oh, dear. I mean, I applaud the meta, I really do. A Eurovison song about a Eurovision song, I'm all for that. But it's soooo bad, and in the live performance she, and the choir (who has to keep on hand on their shoulder throughout the entire song just to be able to reveal that they are dressed like flags in the end), sound so incredibly bad. But at least it's bad in a slightly entertaining Eurovision way, and not in a boring way.
Albania: Rona Nishliu - Suus
It most definitely wins the video contest. She's a piece of art, stuck on a block, and sometimes she wears a beak, and dangles testicles from her hand (probably not, but I chose to interpret it as such, this video is very open to interpretation). Creepy kids drawing lines in chalk on walls, a house on a hotplate, this is everything one could ever wish for! And the refrain goes something like CHAI! CHAI! CHAAAAIIIIIAIIIIAIIIIIAIIII! I have no idea how this will work on stage, and I don't care, because I am already in love.
Romania: Mandinga - Zaleilah
There is not enough accordion in the ESC. Thankfully this song rectifies that somewhat. I really like this. It's catchy as hell, and very happy, and I start to dance a little in my chair as I'm listening to it. The video is softcore porn, pretty much, but the live performance is really good. I love the band, and the choreography, and her. Go Romania!
Switzerland: Sinplus - Unbreakable
Oh dear god, Jedward has spread! *cries tears of genuine fear and horror* I'm assuming they sing “swim against the stream”, but in their charming accents it sounds like “swim against the swim”, which sounds like a fascinating philosophical conundrum. The song is perfectly decent, I actually like it quite a bit, and they sound fine in the video, but they sound pretty shit live.
Belgium: Iris - Would You?
Oh no. Oh, no no no no no no. This is a joke, right? I mean, it's Belgium, but not even Belgium would send this, would they? Would you, Belgium? You would? Is this some kind of revenge on me because I recently cleared out an old desk and threw away a bunch of stuff I'd saved from when I was in Antwerp when I was 11? Why would you do this, Belgium? It's so awful! Oh, Iris. She clearly stole the dress from a 10-year-old's birthday party, and she sings really weirdly, like, on the intake of breath or something. I don't know, I'm no expert, but it sounds horrible. And first she's all sad, and that she's suddenly really happy, even though the lyrics are the same, and then, oh, dear, then she starts with the stepping side to side and patting her hip, and I just want to hide.
Finland: Pernilla Karlsson - När jag blundar
A song in Swedish! Finnish-Swedish is so pretty, and incredibly melodic. I like this. It's very sweet, and soothing. A bit naïve, perhaps, but lovely. And I really like Pernilla, she's lovely too.
Israel: Izabo - Time
I have a feeling I ought to hate it. But I sort of love it. And I feel slightly disappointed in myself for it. I seem to have a thing for creepy circus performers.
San Marino: Valentina Monetta - The Social Network Song
Oh, Ralph Siegel... This is very possibly the Worst Song Ever. Not just the worst song in Eurovision this year, or in Eurovision ever, but ever, in the entire world! It's completely tragic.
Cyprus: Ivi Adamou - La La Love
Also written by Swedes. Best video, after Albania. Liv Tyler plays Snow White, and it all very mythological and beautiful. She is utterly gorgeous, sings really well, and the song is great! I hate the title just on principle, but other than that there's nothing not to love. Definitely a contender.
Denmark: Soluna Samay - Should Have Known Better
I love Soluna, and her outfit, with the sailor's hat, I love the girl drummer, and the choir on the sofa. They all deserve a better song. This is nice, but forgettable. I very much want it to do well though, because Soluna is so great.
Russia: Buranoviskye Babushki - Party for Everybody
Russian babushkas! And they are so old, and so cute, and so happy, and it somehow brings tears to my eyes, and I love them so much. The song is complete nonsense, but who cares! Come on and dance!
Hungary: Compact Disco - Sound of Our Hearts
The song is okay, I suppose, but the live performance is not good at all. Can't bring myself to care much about it, really.
Austria: Trackshittaz - Woki mit deim Popo
Fuck off. Not wasting words on this.
Moldova: Pasha Parfeny - Lăutar
Oh, this is a proper Eurovision contest! Weird ballet dancers! Who are horses! And then gondolas! It's wonderfully bad in a completely charming way.
Ireland: Jedward - Waterline
Again, written by Swedes (I'm ashamed to say). I can't stand Jedward, but last year I had to admit that Lipstick was sort of catchy, in an annoying sort of way. This song is completely meh, and their singing is atrocious.
In case you want to watch the songs, I can recommend this playlist
Montenegro: Rambo Amadeus - Euro Neuro
How can you not love someone who calls himself Rambo Amadeus? It's brilliant. I like him, and his raspy voice (and I really like the donkey in the video, though what exactly Miss Sweden was doing in there I have no idea). What I don't like is the song. Actually, not so much the song, as the weird noises in the background. They're all sharp and distorted and weird, and it's making me feel a little bit sick.
Iceland: Gréta Salóme & Jonsi - Never Forget
Oh, I love this. It's all mystery and strings and wide open Icelandic landscapes (no, it's not just the video, you can totally hear the landscapes in the song, it's just that good). It's also such a shame they're singing it in English, because the Icelandic version is sooo much more awesome, and mystic and wonderful. The English lyrics are perfectly fine, but a little banal, and the title automatically makes me \o/, as anyone who knows Take That would do. Still love it, though. I suppose it's too much to ask that the fabulous knitted sweaters from the video makes an appearance on stage?
Greece: Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac
The first of a frankly obscene amount of songs written by Swedes. This is clearly supposed to be sexy. Really, that seems to be the entire point of this number. The song is perfectly harmless, another cheap copy of My Number 1 (which I never liked in the first place), and it's not very sexy. She's working very hard to make it so, though, oh, if only the hair whipping and the grinding and the crawling on the floor worked. It doesn't. I feel very prudish, and want to give her a longer skirt and have a serious talk with the choreographer.
Latvia: Anmary - Beautiful Song
Watched the video. Stared in horror. Watched the live performance. Wanted to cover my ears in horror. Oh, dear. Oh, oh, dear. I mean, I applaud the meta, I really do. A Eurovison song about a Eurovision song, I'm all for that. But it's soooo bad, and in the live performance she, and the choir (who has to keep on hand on their shoulder throughout the entire song just to be able to reveal that they are dressed like flags in the end), sound so incredibly bad. But at least it's bad in a slightly entertaining Eurovision way, and not in a boring way.
Albania: Rona Nishliu - Suus
It most definitely wins the video contest. She's a piece of art, stuck on a block, and sometimes she wears a beak, and dangles testicles from her hand (probably not, but I chose to interpret it as such, this video is very open to interpretation). Creepy kids drawing lines in chalk on walls, a house on a hotplate, this is everything one could ever wish for! And the refrain goes something like CHAI! CHAI! CHAAAAIIIIIAIIIIAIIIIIAIIII! I have no idea how this will work on stage, and I don't care, because I am already in love.
Romania: Mandinga - Zaleilah
There is not enough accordion in the ESC. Thankfully this song rectifies that somewhat. I really like this. It's catchy as hell, and very happy, and I start to dance a little in my chair as I'm listening to it. The video is softcore porn, pretty much, but the live performance is really good. I love the band, and the choreography, and her. Go Romania!
Switzerland: Sinplus - Unbreakable
Oh dear god, Jedward has spread! *cries tears of genuine fear and horror* I'm assuming they sing “swim against the stream”, but in their charming accents it sounds like “swim against the swim”, which sounds like a fascinating philosophical conundrum. The song is perfectly decent, I actually like it quite a bit, and they sound fine in the video, but they sound pretty shit live.
Belgium: Iris - Would You?
Oh no. Oh, no no no no no no. This is a joke, right? I mean, it's Belgium, but not even Belgium would send this, would they? Would you, Belgium? You would? Is this some kind of revenge on me because I recently cleared out an old desk and threw away a bunch of stuff I'd saved from when I was in Antwerp when I was 11? Why would you do this, Belgium? It's so awful! Oh, Iris. She clearly stole the dress from a 10-year-old's birthday party, and she sings really weirdly, like, on the intake of breath or something. I don't know, I'm no expert, but it sounds horrible. And first she's all sad, and that she's suddenly really happy, even though the lyrics are the same, and then, oh, dear, then she starts with the stepping side to side and patting her hip, and I just want to hide.
Finland: Pernilla Karlsson - När jag blundar
A song in Swedish! Finnish-Swedish is so pretty, and incredibly melodic. I like this. It's very sweet, and soothing. A bit naïve, perhaps, but lovely. And I really like Pernilla, she's lovely too.
Israel: Izabo - Time
I have a feeling I ought to hate it. But I sort of love it. And I feel slightly disappointed in myself for it. I seem to have a thing for creepy circus performers.
San Marino: Valentina Monetta - The Social Network Song
Oh, Ralph Siegel... This is very possibly the Worst Song Ever. Not just the worst song in Eurovision this year, or in Eurovision ever, but ever, in the entire world! It's completely tragic.
Cyprus: Ivi Adamou - La La Love
Also written by Swedes. Best video, after Albania. Liv Tyler plays Snow White, and it all very mythological and beautiful. She is utterly gorgeous, sings really well, and the song is great! I hate the title just on principle, but other than that there's nothing not to love. Definitely a contender.
Denmark: Soluna Samay - Should Have Known Better
I love Soluna, and her outfit, with the sailor's hat, I love the girl drummer, and the choir on the sofa. They all deserve a better song. This is nice, but forgettable. I very much want it to do well though, because Soluna is so great.
Russia: Buranoviskye Babushki - Party for Everybody
Russian babushkas! And they are so old, and so cute, and so happy, and it somehow brings tears to my eyes, and I love them so much. The song is complete nonsense, but who cares! Come on and dance!
Hungary: Compact Disco - Sound of Our Hearts
The song is okay, I suppose, but the live performance is not good at all. Can't bring myself to care much about it, really.
Austria: Trackshittaz - Woki mit deim Popo
Fuck off. Not wasting words on this.
Moldova: Pasha Parfeny - Lăutar
Oh, this is a proper Eurovision contest! Weird ballet dancers! Who are horses! And then gondolas! It's wonderfully bad in a completely charming way.
Ireland: Jedward - Waterline
Again, written by Swedes (I'm ashamed to say). I can't stand Jedward, but last year I had to admit that Lipstick was sort of catchy, in an annoying sort of way. This song is completely meh, and their singing is atrocious.