Vor jener dunklen Höhle nicht zu beben...
It's "Faust"-quoting-time, again.
It looks like my house-mate won't have to quit his smoking after all. I'm going to live in this house till my year abroad begins (end of August) and on my return from Japan in 2011 I won't be moving in again. I'm deeply ashamed that it took me so long to realize; but it's not the smoking, that is the problem: the problem is me and it'll better for everyone if I move out.
When I first came here, three years ago, this house was full of life - we used to cook dinner together, play board-games, talk about our thoughts/problems/lives/etc. and have endless discussions, every day. Sure, there were annoying times as well, but we were a community, and for me it was like a substitute for my family - I felt at home. About a year ago things started changing; and now everyone is minding his or her own business, rarely getting together and worst of all: barely communicating.
When I tried to talk about not wanting to passive-smoke in my room any longer (and I've been trying to be able to use my room again, since December), I didn't expect them to ardently defend my cause - but SOME reaction would have been nice. (I know it's silly, comparing these people to my previous housemates - but with them it would have never gotten this far: One of us can't use her room, because of another person's habits? What's there to discuss? Smoke outside, end of discussion.)
Instead the new policy is "as long as it doesn't affect me - who the hell cares". This attitude came as a shock to me - and it's still hurting me. I thought of these people as my friends - well, they couldn't care less about me. They know that I've suffered for months, because of not being able to breathe nor sleep in my room - and they won't even go through the "trouble" of talking about my problem? But it's no use ranting on about how I used to be happy in this place, and now I'm not and Yadidadida; I have to move out. I have to move on. The upside is, that I've finally lost my last doubts about whether going to Japan is the right thing to do. ... Yay. ...
It looks like my house-mate won't have to quit his smoking after all. I'm going to live in this house till my year abroad begins (end of August) and on my return from Japan in 2011 I won't be moving in again. I'm deeply ashamed that it took me so long to realize; but it's not the smoking, that is the problem: the problem is me and it'll better for everyone if I move out.
When I first came here, three years ago, this house was full of life - we used to cook dinner together, play board-games, talk about our thoughts/problems/lives/etc. and have endless discussions, every day. Sure, there were annoying times as well, but we were a community, and for me it was like a substitute for my family - I felt at home. About a year ago things started changing; and now everyone is minding his or her own business, rarely getting together and worst of all: barely communicating.
When I tried to talk about not wanting to passive-smoke in my room any longer (and I've been trying to be able to use my room again, since December), I didn't expect them to ardently defend my cause - but SOME reaction would have been nice. (I know it's silly, comparing these people to my previous housemates - but with them it would have never gotten this far: One of us can't use her room, because of another person's habits? What's there to discuss? Smoke outside, end of discussion.)
Instead the new policy is "as long as it doesn't affect me - who the hell cares". This attitude came as a shock to me - and it's still hurting me. I thought of these people as my friends - well, they couldn't care less about me. They know that I've suffered for months, because of not being able to breathe nor sleep in my room - and they won't even go through the "trouble" of talking about my problem? But it's no use ranting on about how I used to be happy in this place, and now I'm not and Yadidadida; I have to move out. I have to move on. The upside is, that I've finally lost my last doubts about whether going to Japan is the right thing to do. ... Yay. ...