Comments | ironicjournal: 001 // it's a hard knock life

ironicjournal

001 // it's a hard knock life

Sep 18, 2011 13:37

[ Phone: ]

Sup. First order of business, everyone calm the fuck down and let the professionals handle this. You know, the guys who've actually spent time preparing for a zombie apocalypse. I'm so in my element right now I'm crossing over into all the other ones, shit's just crazy.

And since I worked at a Best Buy for a week back in the day [ is ( Read more... )

this is how we do it, ✗action, big man hass the rake, join team nougat, ✗event: zombies, everything is ironically named, ✗phone

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[Action] toothsnort September 18 2011, 19:41:07 UTC

[Sup Bro. There's a pretty wiry, stupid looking guy wandering the streets with a golf club he found in his house. It's no bat, but it'd do.

Rittz got the call earlier that he was supposed to work at the bar today. He'd never really held a job, not really, but come hell or high water he was going to make a good first impression. He's even dressed at the moment in the stupid little bartender suit he's supposed to wear. Granted, it's caked in gore along with the golf club he's found, as he's ended up braining the ever living hell out of any of the zombies that got in his way.

Which is how he finds Bro. Dressed for his job and covered in blood and zombie guts. He's trying to run like hell since the sooner he gets to the stupid job, the better, and he can hopefully you know, defend himself better there. Even Rittz understands that.

But still, when he sees another normal looking person, he stops to give a friendly wave. Cause that's just polite.]

Hey there!

These zombies, huh? Sure are something. Jesus.

[Action] ironicjournal September 18 2011, 20:18:01 UTC

These babies are prime examples of something alright. [ Boom, rake to a head. Maybe he'll have to revise his view of small towns for this. ]

Man, and not even a news story to warn us.

Re: [Action] toothsnort September 18 2011, 20:23:12 UTC

I know! Today's supposed to be my first day at work, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be late!

[And then just taking a moment to brain another zombie with his golf club.]

Unless today is a holiday.

Do you think they'd count zombies as a national holiday?

[Action] ironicjournal September 18 2011, 22:43:58 UTC

Maybe not a holiday, bro. I think most places'll give breaks for national disasters, though.

Town-wide disasters are pretty much the same around here, right? [ Totally makes sense. ]

Re: [Action] toothsnort September 19 2011, 00:14:47 UTC

I....don't know?

Sorry man, I just got here like a week ago. All I know is that it's like being back in time, but without a time machine and no one else I know is here.

[Action] ironicjournal September 19 2011, 01:10:55 UTC

Right. Forget I asked. [ Always interesting to see somebody else on the week-old brigade.

Casually tripping a zombie to make for a simpler kill shot. And he thought all that time messing with drones wouldn't come in handy. ]

[Action] toothsnort September 19 2011, 01:23:01 UTC

Yeah. It kinda sucks, but it could be worse! There could be bear zombies!

[Meanwhile, he goes in for a pretty devastating swing at another zombie's head. He's not exactly the fanciest fighter, but hey. He at least seems pretty good at hitting things pretty damn hard, despite his appearance.

And because the zombie apocalypse is a great time for small talk.]

Hey, I'm Rittz by the way!

[Action] ironicjournal September 19 2011, 03:20:59 UTC

[ Dude, always. ]

Name's Strider. [ ...hm. ] I'd be alright with some bear zombies. Put a saddle on 'em, ride in like a badass.

[Action] toothsnort September 19 2011, 03:45:04 UTC

Heh, well I guess that'd be really neat. I just haven't had a good relationship with them since one stood on top of my head.

So are you going to work too?

[Totally catching your clothing, not getting that it might be a reference to something.]

[Action] ironicjournal September 19 2011, 23:45:51 UTC

[ ...that's pretty hardcore. Doing that thing where you thump your chest twice and there's a peace sign involved and all that. ] Respect, crackers. [ SNAP, ankle-shot. ]

I'm just out here for the hell of it. Helpin' old ladies cross the street, fillin' expired parking meters, tearing off zombie heads. You know how it is.

[Action] toothsnort September 20 2011, 19:45:39 UTC

[Huh? Rittz didn't really get that, but hey it seems like it's a good thing.]

Yeah! Respect to, uh, your crackers too, man!

Oh, well I guess that's good! I'm not supposed to help ladies cross the street anymore, but I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to kill zombies. So I guess that's as good a time waster as any.

I wonder if this happens all the time here.

[Action] ironicjournal September 20 2011, 20:58:49 UTC

We can only hope so. This place was at about flan tier on the scale of boredom until now.

[Action] toothsnort September 21 2011, 19:02:34 UTC

But if it happened all the time wouldn't it get boring eventually too? Like instead of "wow it's zombies" it'd be more like "ugh it's zombies"? And that kind of ruins zombies.

[Oh, excuse him a minute. He let one of the zombies get to close, so he'll just hit it in the stomach with the end of the club before caving its face in.]

[Action] ironicjournal September 22 2011, 01:43:35 UTC

Ruin zombies? Hell naw. We'll reform culture around these babies.

[Action] toothsnort September 22 2011, 02:21:37 UTC

Oh.

I think I kinda got to leave that to you. I'm not much of a reformer, I guess. I'm kinda more along the people who gets reformed.

[Action] ironicjournal September 22 2011, 02:50:41 UTC

Ooh, an ex-con. Exciting stuff.

It was shoplifting, right.

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