canon swap: elfen lied AU
Your name is DAVID STRIDER, and you are the SCOURGE OF MANKIND. APPARENTLY. You used to not really buy into that, but recent events have left you kind of JADED. More on that later.
You have a variety of INTERESTS, many of which having stemmed from your UNCONVENTIONAL UPBRINGING. You were dumped outside of a RECORD STORE as a baby, likely because you are a MUTANT FREAKCHILD with PINK HAIR, PINKISH-RED EYES, and CRAZY-ASS KITTY HORNS poking out of your skull. But you're pretty okay with it, and the WEIRD GUY who took you in is too.
Your ADOPTIVE FATHER taught you everything you know. He's basically the COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN, and is the ONLY HUMAN who has ever treated you like a NORMAL KID. Face to face, at least.
You frequent tons of ONLINE COMMUNITIES, since you prefer ANONYMITY. You even have a few CLOSE FRIENDS online, and you were PRETTY FUCKING CLOSE to showing them what you look like, CREEPY MUTATIONS and all. You're pretty sure they'd still be cool with you.
In the REAL WORLD, outside your APARTMENT, life is KIND OF SHITTY. Your DAD (who is more like a BRO, you never call him DAD, it just feels FUCKING WEIRD) told you HATERS GONNA HATE, and you were good at ignoring the ASSHOLES until they started BEATING YOU UP for fun and profit. Ever since then you've been hearing a VOICE telling you to FUCK THEIR SHIT UP, and it's only gotten louder over the years.
You finally listened to it when you were NINE and a group of assholes fucked you up so bad you could BARELY WALK. You used these WEIRD GHOST ARMS to PUMMEL THE EVERLOVING CHRIST OUT OF THEM. They're actually pretty lucky they didn't kill a dog or something in front of you, things might have ended up bloodier.
Somehow you avoided punishment, probably because the rest of the kids were TERRIFIED of you now. Your BRO yanked you out of school pretty fucking quickly, and surprisingly, he could see your CRAZY EXTRA LIMBS. He thought they were ACTUALLY PRETTY RAD and you had to agree. You two had ALL THE GHOSTLY, CORPOREAL FISBUNPS, and he trained you to be FASTER with them.
Despite your best attempts to stay out of the spotlight, a CONSORTIUM OF DOUCHEWAFFLES eventually discovered your existence and TRACKED YOUR MUTANT ASS DOWN. They sent SOME FUCKASS named JACK NOIR to bring you in, along with a HEAVILY ARMED SQUAD because HORNED KIDS are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. This was one of the few things your BRO was not 0k with, and an EPIC BATTLE broke out.
You were able to deflect the hail of BULLETS thanks to your FREAKISHLY FAST DEVIL ARMS, but JACK NOIR managed to take a potshot at you from your BLIND SPOT. Your BRO saw it coming and moved in the way, taking it RIGHT IN THE GUT.
And that was when you COMPLETELY FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. You basically ripped most of the squad to BLOODY GODDAMN SHREDS but before you could off NOIR, he offered a DEAL. If you surrendered quietly they'd rush your BRO to the hospital. You were stupid enough to AGREE TO THIS OBVIOUS BULLSHIT and they shipped you to A HORRIBIFUCKUS RESEARCH FACILITY.
There, JACK told you your BRO didn't make it. He told you they DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD but you DID NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK. Maybe he was telling the truth, but you couldn't trust shit anymore. You told him you were gonna ESCAPE and MURDER EVERYONE HE EVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT, which amounted to VERY FEW PEOPLE in the long run but at least it was something.
And the rest of HUMANITY could suck a big fat COCKSICLE for all you cared.
You have a variety of INTERESTS, many of which having stemmed from your UNCONVENTIONAL UPBRINGING. You were dumped outside of a RECORD STORE as a baby, likely because you are a MUTANT FREAKCHILD with PINK HAIR, PINKISH-RED EYES, and CRAZY-ASS KITTY HORNS poking out of your skull. But you're pretty okay with it, and the WEIRD GUY who took you in is too.
Your ADOPTIVE FATHER taught you everything you know. He's basically the COOLEST MOTHERFUCKER YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN, and is the ONLY HUMAN who has ever treated you like a NORMAL KID. Face to face, at least.
You frequent tons of ONLINE COMMUNITIES, since you prefer ANONYMITY. You even have a few CLOSE FRIENDS online, and you were PRETTY FUCKING CLOSE to showing them what you look like, CREEPY MUTATIONS and all. You're pretty sure they'd still be cool with you.
In the REAL WORLD, outside your APARTMENT, life is KIND OF SHITTY. Your DAD (who is more like a BRO, you never call him DAD, it just feels FUCKING WEIRD) told you HATERS GONNA HATE, and you were good at ignoring the ASSHOLES until they started BEATING YOU UP for fun and profit. Ever since then you've been hearing a VOICE telling you to FUCK THEIR SHIT UP, and it's only gotten louder over the years.
You finally listened to it when you were NINE and a group of assholes fucked you up so bad you could BARELY WALK. You used these WEIRD GHOST ARMS to PUMMEL THE EVERLOVING CHRIST OUT OF THEM. They're actually pretty lucky they didn't kill a dog or something in front of you, things might have ended up bloodier.
Somehow you avoided punishment, probably because the rest of the kids were TERRIFIED of you now. Your BRO yanked you out of school pretty fucking quickly, and surprisingly, he could see your CRAZY EXTRA LIMBS. He thought they were ACTUALLY PRETTY RAD and you had to agree. You two had ALL THE GHOSTLY, CORPOREAL FISBUNPS, and he trained you to be FASTER with them.
Despite your best attempts to stay out of the spotlight, a CONSORTIUM OF DOUCHEWAFFLES eventually discovered your existence and TRACKED YOUR MUTANT ASS DOWN. They sent SOME FUCKASS named JACK NOIR to bring you in, along with a HEAVILY ARMED SQUAD because HORNED KIDS are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS. This was one of the few things your BRO was not 0k with, and an EPIC BATTLE broke out.
You were able to deflect the hail of BULLETS thanks to your FREAKISHLY FAST DEVIL ARMS, but JACK NOIR managed to take a potshot at you from your BLIND SPOT. Your BRO saw it coming and moved in the way, taking it RIGHT IN THE GUT.
And that was when you COMPLETELY FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. You basically ripped most of the squad to BLOODY GODDAMN SHREDS but before you could off NOIR, he offered a DEAL. If you surrendered quietly they'd rush your BRO to the hospital. You were stupid enough to AGREE TO THIS OBVIOUS BULLSHIT and they shipped you to A HORRIBIFUCKUS RESEARCH FACILITY.
There, JACK told you your BRO didn't make it. He told you they DID EVERYTHING THEY COULD but you DID NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK. Maybe he was telling the truth, but you couldn't trust shit anymore. You told him you were gonna ESCAPE and MURDER EVERYONE HE EVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT, which amounted to VERY FEW PEOPLE in the long run but at least it was something.
And the rest of HUMANITY could suck a big fat COCKSICLE for all you cared.