I Thought It Was You -Chapter 4-
Title: I Thought It Was You
Pairing: YutoYama
Genre: Angst, Friendship
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"Yuto?"
"Yuto?"
Yuri tapped Yuto's shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. Yuto's jolted a little then he went back to his normal state. He turned to Yuri who was giving him a worried look so he gently squeezed Yuri's hand on his shoulder and smiled.
"What's wrong?" Yuri asked with a tone full of worry. Actually Yuri was not only quite but very worried about this. When Yuto was thinking as hard as this was the time when he and Ryosuke broke up. That week Yuri couldn't make a conversation out of him because Yuto would only respond with small sentences and space out right after.
"Nothing's wrong. Don't worry about anything." Yuto said with a smiling face but it was very obvious that if was fake and Yuri knows it too so he didn't feel assured of that smile. Instead he felt even more nervous and scared.
"What happened after I fell asleep?" He asked then he noticed Yuto's eyes widening quite a bit and that made sure Yuri something did happen while he was sleeping.
"It was nothing, really." Yuto retracted his hand from Yuri and turned around facing his back to him but Yuri was persistent. He grabbed Yuto's shoulder and spun him back to face him.
"Tell me what happened." In Yuri's eyes you could see how serious he was. It was like he was dying to know what happened while he was asleep. Yuto really didn't want to tell him or to talk about it more. Yuto clenched him jaw and kept his mouth shut. Yuri was already getting pissed. He never really thought that he'll get pissed at Yuto. For the year they've been together this was the first time he wanted to slap Yuto across his face. He gave him a few more seconds to tell him the truth but Yuto kept firm and looked away. Yuri looked down to his lap and then tears started running down his cheeks.
"Why? Why won't you tell me?" His voice was breaking. Tears just kept on falling. Everything he had been holding up until now is just pouring all out. He had never cried this hard before so this was sorta new to him. Yuto was surprised to see him crying. Why does he really want to know what happened?
"Ever since we got together, I know you were hiding certain things from me or lying to me but atleast just even once can you Please tell me one truth?" Yuri looked up at Yuto and he was having this rather pleading look. Yuto didn't know what to do. He didn't want Yuri to get hurt in this situation he is in. He wants Yuri to be happy up to his last breath. Yuto clenched his jaw but took a deep breath and nodded his head.
"Okay. I'll tell you but you have to answer my question too." Yuto said in a serious voice. There was something that bothered Yuto all this time that he never had asked Yuri.
"Sure. But you go first." Yuri replied to him. Yuto took a final deep breath and started telling him what he and Kei talked about in the hospital's hallway. All throughout Yuto's story telling, Yuri just showed this poker face but Yuto knows that he is paying attention to everything he's saying. Yuto ended his story and there was silence enveloping them. Yuri this had this monotonous face.
"Is that all?" He voiced out softly. Yuto nodded his head. He felt really hurt for telling Yuri it. He knows that Yuri wouldn't be able to handle this well. In his current state Yuto can sense that it was very hard for him to swallow that Yuri might just cry.
"So what about you?" Yuri asked him. Yuto didn't want to continue this anymore but he really has to know and based on Yuri's answer he would know how much he regretted what he did.
"Why did you and Ryosuke fight?" This time Yuri showed a different emotion. His eyes widened and something in him says that he doesn't want Yuto to find out. He mouth opened ajar but nothing came out. As if there was something holding him back and Yuto didn't like it for one bit. Yuto felt something was wrong and it sent a bad vibe down his spine.
"We have been together for a year now but I still don't know the reason why you two fought. It had bugged my mind when Kei and I were talking earlier." Yuto explained why he needed to know. It might make Yuri tell him the truth behind their misunderstanding.
"I can't tell you." Yuto's brows furrowed. Why can't he know the reason? Was it that bad that he can't tell Yuto? Atleast he should trust Yuto about that matter since it was the cause why they were together in the first place.
"Why can't you tell me?" Actually Yuto felt a little betrayed and hurt by it. Yes, Yuto did hide some things from Yuri but this was different. This was the root of everything that has happened to the three of them, Ryosuke included.
"I can't tell you. Not now." Yuri lied back down on his bed and hid under the blanket. Yuto tried shaking him and tried pulling the blanket off him but Yuri had a tight grip on it.
"You kept telling me that I don't tell you everything about me and you're doing the exact same thing! Why won't you tell me!" Yuto was really persistent. He needs to know. He wouldn't live long if this continues on to haunt him. He can't go back to those dreadful nightmares. Yuto noticed Yuri's grip getting weaker due to exhaustion so he found a great chance to pull the blankets off and pinned down Yuri on the bed.
"Let me go." Yuri tried pushing Yuto away. "No. Not unless you tell me why you and Ryosuke had a fight." Yuto felt Yuri giving up because he dropped his arms off Yuto and looked away.
"I was selfish." Yuri said while crying. "I told him a lie that you don't love him anymore and we were dating behind his back." Yuto was shocked. He felt betrayed and used. How could Yuri lie about that? Yuto felt like his mind was about to explode. He slumped back down his chair and Yuri immediately held on to his hand.
"Yuto I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin things. I just wanted to be happy like Ryosuke is when he's with you." He said in between breaths. Yuto was still glued on his seat, not moving even a single muscle. Yuri was very jealous of his best friend and his happy life. Ryosuke had everything. He had money, fame and fortune. He had people around him that loves him and cares for him. Unlike Yuri who lost each and everyone of his loved ones. He can't let Yuto go too.
"I just wanted to be happy before I leave and for the past year you did make me feel happy and alive. And I am so-" Yuri was cut by Yuto's sudden movement from how chair. He stood up and he was looking at Yuri with disappoint eyes.
"But you lied to me. To everyone. I had so much belief that maybe I was the only one who could help you but it's just you who don't want others to help." Yuto was turning cold. He was betrayed. All those times Yuto thought Yuri and Ryosuke had such a huge misunderstanding when it was only Yuri who was at fault. Yuto felt crushed and angry at himself too for not knowing earlier and for hurting Ryosuke. He also betrayed Ryosuke. It's not only Yuri who had hurt someone. Yuto feels it too. The guilt and the pain of leaving Ryosuke behind was like knives being stabbed in your heart over and over again.
"But we had better memories right. We had all those great times that we spent together. Much more better than spending it with him." Yuri was scared seeing Yuto like this. I knew he was wrong but he couldn't help it. He knows he loves Yuto more than Ryosuke does. He knows he is better than Ryosuke but why can't Yuto see that?. Yuto just shook his head and walked to the door. His fingers slipping off from Yuri's.
"Yuto! Don't leave me Please. You promised didn't you?" Yuto halted at the door and looked back at Yuri. He had disappointing eyes and a frown on his face.
"I didn't promise you anything." Yuri was overly shocked. This was a very different Yuto in front of him. It felt cold and lifeless. He was speechless and only tears fell down from his eyes.
"I didn't promise anything to a liar like you." Yuto exited the room with a tight shut over the door. Yuri exhaled and tears kept on running on his face. He tried muffling his voice but it was not working. He was still crying so hard. He felt so useless and lifeless without Yuto anymore. Yuri buried his head on his propped up knees and kept on crying.
After a little while he stopped shaking and only tear stains were left. Yuri got off his bed and tore all those wires and tubes off his arms. He walked out his room and just kept on walking until he reached the elevator. It was such an unusual sight that no one was walking down the corridors of the hospital so no one has seen Yuri going up the elevator.
It stopped at the highest floor of the building specifically the rooftop. He would sometimes go there with Yuto and just enjoy the scenery but this time it felt gloomy in his sight. Yuri had this poker face on and he just kept on walking and walking until he was already standing at the edge of the building. He looked down and saw a busy street with cars passing from both sides. He looked up and saw a gray sky with the sun hiding behind thick black clouds. He one final look he closed his eyes and set one foot off the ground and then he-
"Yuri!"
"Yuri! Wake up or else the teacher's gonna scold you." Yuri opened his eyes and suddenly he saw he was inside their classroom and he was wearing his uniform.
"Good that you woke up!" He turned to the right and saw Ryosuke wearing the same uniform as he was. He kept staring at Ryosuke and was totally confused and had no idea what was happening.
"Why am I here?" He asked. Ryosuke flicked his forehead and he groaned a bit. "Idiot! We're in school. We are suppose to be here. You only slept and you're already acting weird. Oh the teacher's here." Ryosuke sat up straight and the teacher started their lesson but Yuri was still glued on his place, his eyes scanning the whole place. 'Shouldn't I be dead?' Was what he thought.
Lunch time came and they were both sitting in the courtyard eating from their bento lunches. Ryosuke was like always enjoying what he was eating but Yuri didn't have the appetite at all. Ryosuke noticed it and dropped his chopsticks on the table.
"Okay spill it." He said looking at Yuri. " what?" Yuri replied like he just came back from his own world. He kept spacing out and his thoughts were just floating in the air.
"Don't 'what' me. Tell me your problem."
"I don't have one."
"Uh huh? Don't lie to me Yuri. We've been together for a long time now. I know when you have a problem or you don't have one. So spill it out now or I will force you to say it." Ryosuke said while having this I'm-serious look on.
"I can't it. Atleast not now." Yuri was hoping he would stop questioning him.
"Ok." Ryosuke returned to eating his bento and Yuri was surprised at his answer. Ryosuke would always whine if he doesn't tell him everything.
"But I have to be the first one to know ok?" He looked back at Yuri again and raised a brow.
"Un." Yuri just replied shortly. Ryosuke had his beaming face again and continued on eating his lunch.
"That's good to hear. We're bestfriends so no secret must be hidden between us. Whatever will happen I will always stay by your side." Yuri would be lying if he said he wasn't touched by Ryosuke's words. How could he hurt his one and true best friend for all his selfish desires. Yuri started tearing up and later he began crying hard.
"Hey why are you crying?" Ryosuke moved to his side of the table and wrapped an arm around him trying to coo Yuri and to stop crying.
"Ryosuke I'm sorry." He kept saying. He buried his face on his palms and just kept know crying. Ryosuke was running his fingers on his hair and ran him hand on Yuri's arm.
"Whatever it is. I forgive you."
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Yuri shot his eyes open and the first thing he saw was a white ceiling with a bright light. He squinted his eyes adjusting to it. He groaned softly and felt very dizzy.
"Yuri!" A sudden hug approached him. He was stoned in his place and was surprised by the sudden attack.
"What were you doing you idiot!" He recognized the voice. It was Ryosuke's. 'Why is he here?' Yuri asked himself. He then felt Ryosuke was shaking and crying.
"What if you died? Do you know I'll never forgive myself for it?!" He heard Ryosuke say.
"Why?" Yuri voiced out. Ryosuke pulled himself back a little just to look at Yuri's face who was on the verge of crying.
"Why are you here? I don't need your help. I don't deserve it." Tears were already falling. He tried pushing Ryosuke away from him but it was no use. Yuri stopped squirming when Ryosuke cupped his cheeks and gave him a smile.
"You're my best friend. Forever and always." This time it was Yuri who gave Ryosuke a hug. He missed him so much. He was so cruel for ruining his happiness. He hates himself for letting his best friend suffer.
"Ryosuke I'm sorry. I'm sorry for-" Ryosuke stopped him and ran his hand on Yuri's back then with a soft voice he whispered "Whatever it is. I forgive you."
To Be Continued...
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A/N: heyyo!!! I'm sorry for the Super late update. I've been very busy for the past week. I hope this chapter can make up for my delay. Haha. It's a little more on friendship because everyone deserves a happily ever after right? But of course it's not the end yet but we're getting there... ^_^ comment on how you felt of this chapter! I'd love to read it!