Waiting

[ishai_wallace]

Trying to get pregnant is a giant game of waiting around for the right moment to rush. First you wait to ovulate. You count the days, you measure, you interpret, you wait. Then there is a brief moment of rushing, of inseminating (although that too involves waiting). And then you wait to see if anything happened. If hopes are growing. The waiting is

Comments

[deeprivermom]

May your family be blessed with a healthy happy baby, and that this painful wait will soon be over.

[strauss]

We are also waiting. We were waiting for my cycles to regulate, as I have PCOS and was not ovulating before Clomid. We were waiting for the man who gave us sperm for our other child to make a decision about whether he wanted to donate for this one. Eventually he said no, and now we are waiting for another man to make a decision. Then we are moving several states away, and changing health insurance and providers. So then I will need to wait some more. I would like to start trying again in September, as I will be an academic and can really only give birth end of may-august, as I am contract with no leave, but I won't have insurance and can't get Clomid in time. Plus I just found out there's a 12 mo lifetime limit on Clomid, and I've already used up 6 of those cycles just trying to start ovulating

[ishai_wallace]

Just to say good luck to you. It sounds immensely difficult and frustrating. May it all work out and soon!

[ahavia]

Sending prayers and blessings. I know these struggles.

I was finally blessed with fostering and then adopting my daughter who I got when she was 2 1/2 months old. She is now 29. My gift from
G-d.

[diadactic]

A lot of books I've read by adoptive parents imply that they adopted because of infertility- in that way, it is a zero sum game. You do have finite amounts of interest and time to spend.

I particularly got to thinking on it recently because I read a book called "Dough" by a guy who inherited millions of dollars, but up until right before it happened, had no idea that anybody in his family had more than just enough money.
He and his wife had adopted two children- they had not had the money to pursue expensive treatment for his infertility.

Throughout the book, he keeps up an angry rhetoric about how much he suffered- including infertility- that he wouldn't have if he had known that money would come easy to him. And I kept wondering, when was the book going to come around to the question of how much he gained (say, his two kids) by not knowing.

[ishai_wallace]

And I'm really cautious about this - I know people who feel really hurt by this narrative, both parents and children. Too often it gets talked about as if adoption is only ever second best, and/or just for people who could not create biological children. I also know people who have chosen adoption as their first choice in creating a family, and I want to honour them. It also feels important to note that neither is guaranteed. I know people who have not been able to become parents both through adoption and conception, and either can be heartbreaking.

Also, for me there is a bit of a politic around once someone is family, they are family, and while we may honour other people who are also their family and recognize the complexity of families, it's really important to me not to rank our qualify family.

And for me, this is not a zero sum game. All of this, this comment and my post were about sharing my journey and decisions.

[anonymous]

b'sha'ah tovah!!

--Sarah