WTF with married men hitting on me?
i mean, i had luis (o/n supe who left for the philly police academy) so desperate for me that, by the time he left, he was genuinely considering letting me fuck him in the ass, if that meant i'd let him screw me. and luis? a complete macho man, latino lover, playboy. it took 1.5 years of saying no and rolling my eyes,and finally drawing my line in the sand (my claiming his booty-hole, as he put it) but apparently i am just that irresistible to unavailable men.
enter brandon. brandon is a manager-in-training for our upcoming ohio store, and he was recently the center of a kerfluffle at the local Holiday Inn that involved him, his stolen computer, an imaginary gun, and the Camden SWAT team.
yes.
it also involved his mouthing off to said SWAT team, his subsequent roughing-up, imprisonment, release, and my company's utter horror and remorse... because we put him in the Holiday Inn, and sort of (not-really) set him up for this. in the sense that it happened on our watch.
but anyway, while my company was trying to make things up to him, brandon got to know anne, the admin assistant for our regional team. anne, who is my momma. i love her. she is the bestest, ever, and i am her girl. no, really. i am her favorite. so, brandon gets to know and love anne, and of course i approve of this, because -everyone- should know and love anne.
and, it turns out that this past friday was the day i ended up going to see anne and the opening team for our new regional store (which included sue from my store, and other people i love)... so i invited brandon up with me. good chance for him to meet anne, who he had come to adore, and for him to network.
yeah. or, so i thought.
he, on the other hand, being a bonafide Stud, thought it was a good chance to get in my pants and tried to actually put bets down that he was going to fuck me that night.
yup.
now, if he'd done his homework he'd have learned about my policy regarding people involved in exclusive relationships and the paces i put luis through. yeah. seriously, when i was in planning i was the untouchable one (not including chantai, who would -never- cheat on her boyfriend). ah well.
now, the story of that night will wait for later, but suffice to say i ended it being drunk and stoned out of my gourd but still (hahah) not in bed with him. after a tarot card reading on someone else and having a second guy hit on me, in an albeit obnoxious and 3rd grade manner.
unfortunately, since we caravaned up i'd given him my cell phone in case he lost sight of me. he has been blowing up my phone with texts since friday. so, because it's just unbelievable, i present you with- brandon, stud extraordinaire, and ishuca, confused trainer (brandon is in italics, i'm regular):
Friday night/Sat morning:
12:44AM: *laughing* i've never denied it. We could set up another 'seance' at cherry hill. Rachel could preside.
*in response to an earlier, non-obnoxious text*
12:46AM: Yea... I tried to getu drunk and flirt... But u give me nothin!...lol
12:50AM: Rachael's nothin 2 get worked up about... Trust me...lol
12:53AM: Guess I didn't know u were such a teaze...lol... ;)
1:07AM: I only tease with people in relationships. After all, it's mutual fun with no destination in mind. :) your wife is very lucky. ;) see you tomorrow, if you stick around to see anne.
*thinking, he is drunk, and i have no desire to poison the last few days of our working relationship*
1:08AM: She is lucky yes ;)....but yea...hehe...ill stick around 4 u
7:10AM: Shit, my phone is dying. Just woke and am getting up. You up yet?
*thinking that he's now sober, and i'd kindly ignore his stupidity of the previous night*
7:12AM: I was gonna txt u in a few ..wanted 2 let u sleep... I bitched out on u and anne ;(..I feel terrible about the condition of the back room. I'm goin into work
7:13AM: Ok, then. See you later. Slacker.
7:15AM: I feel bad ...like I skipped out on u guys ;( .. But I do have 4 days left ill try and make it up..haha
7:22AM: Slacker?..don't think so ;).. See u later ..and sorry about the "drunk obnoxious" brandon hitting on u last night
Sat night:
*after a day of no flirting, with me in my office doing paperwork*
4:45PM: Wow... What a long 3 hour day u did! ;)
4:49PM: Yes, well, i offered to stay, but tom (SM) told me to go home. Looks like he's not ready to have me break 60 hours. One of the benefits of being hourly. :P
4:59PM: Looks like another 10pm day for us salaried bitches ...
5:44PM: Yay... Leaving work before 6!! ;).. We should go out one more night before I leave in wed.
6:40PM: Sure! I've been saying i'd take everyone out to philly. We should do it before you leave. Maybe monday night? Hopefully christina's not closing...
6:48PM: Sounds good it would be a good time I'm sure. We should get a crew together to go... I wasn't tryin to get ya out alone ;) ... haha
6:52PM: Heh. but no, ask brenda, i've been promising her for weeks- food, drinks, and shopping!
6:52PM: I'm down with the food and drinks.. But can probably do without the shopping ;)
6:58PM: Not that I wouldn't take u out...lol... I'm just sayin ;p
7:07PM: ^_^; grub, drinks, and possible shopping (take it up with brenda!) will, if i know your ladies, provide an overabundance of fun. :)
7:10PM: I'm sure it would be a good time... ;) ...looking forward to it !
7:11PM: They r not my ladies ...lol
7:21PM: Sorry... I, like you, am also a bit of a flirt ;)
7:51PM: No worries. ;) we're all going to have a blast. Maybe i'll even introduce you to some -real- beer!
*he drinks bud. ick*
7:53PM: Ohhh real beer ... I dunno if I'm big enough to handle that...hahaha
7:54PM: I must say though...I am noticing the lack of flirting back... I'm not used to that one...haha ;)... But it's ok ;p
8:38PM: The "now that the guys are gone, I can show my tattoo" comment was kinda crap 2.... I wanted 2 see ;(
Sunday:
*which did not, amazingly, involve flirting at work*
6:46AM: O.o damn. Weren't you tired from friday and yesterday? I went to bed. Also, i showed adam, rosa, and my momma saturday. Too bad you didn't stick around. ;)
6:54AM: Yes I was exhausted yesterday... going 2 bed would have been nice. It sounds like I should have stuck around ;)
4:27PM: Before u leave I need 2 get with u and fill out an expense report.. I haven't done one since I've been here ;)
5:47PM: I don't think u got my texts when I sent them last night... Must have taken a while 2 go through. I sent the last one at 815..I doubt u were sleeping then!
7:05PM: I'm definatley not gonna get the flirtin back...am I?... lol
7:13PM: Nope!
7:14PM: Ouch...lol
7:24PM: Point taken... ;) sorry for bein way off base ...lol
7:52PM: Hope were still "cool"... Didn't mean to over step any bounds or piss ya off... Won't bother ya... Have a good night ;)
so, part of the issue was i was initially trying to be nice/gracious. blah. i have learned my lesson. and can i talk about how unattractive L33t is? i mean, jeez. talk about an instantaneous, irrevocable turn-off. >___>