"Good Hunting", Kara Thrace, TEEN, 1225
Fandom Battlestar Galactica
Title Good Hunting
Rating/Warning TEEN for violence
Pairings/Characters Kara "Starbuck" Thrace; secondary: Socrata Thrace, Kacey and Julia Brynn, Sharon "Athena" and Hera Agathon
Spoilers through "Maelstrom"
Summary Kara prays a hymn to Artemis trying to believe in Divine Motherhood. Prompt from rivrea for ninebillion
Thanks to the excellent skills and for the insightful suggestions of my betas bop_radar and sabaceanbabe. All remaining mistakes are mine.
A/N I welcome concrit via private message!
"Guard of the race, imbued with gentle mind . . . "
Sister Helena explained each phrase with a steady patience. Kara practiced the words slowly, letting them slide around her tongue and settle on her lips. She held the Lord's idol tightly, closed her eyes, and felt the prayer's raw meaning envelope her. She wanted, no needed (was she allowed to need?) the favor of Artemis.
Today wasn't a Holy Day and Kara was only allowed to go to the temple on Holy Days, but she had slipped away this morning; Socrata Thrace wouldn't wake until this afternoon and even then she would be soporific in an alcoholic stupor. Kara had taken a calculated risk, and besides this was important.
Sister Helena looked at her with gentle eyes and told her the legends of Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, and Protector of Girls. Kara listened avidly, her mind captivated by the ancient stories.
She came home to find her mother out of uniform, and teeth bared as she dangled her cigarette. "Where’ve you been?"
Kara looked down at her hands. Her mother would know if she lied. "The temple."
Socrata flared her nostrils, obviously angry, but her voice was low and controlled. "You don’t have permission to go there. I didn’t know where you were. Don’t you think of anyone but yourself?"
The back of Socrata’s hand hit Kara’s face, just as she caught sight of it. She bit her lip and hitched her breath. "I’m sorry, Mother."
It never occurred to the girl that as an innocent, protection was her due. Kara just knew that Artemis wouldn’t suffer fools; she vowed to follow Her path. She would start tonight and not stop until she had earned the Lord’s protection.
She clutched the small idol in front of her as she chanted the memorized words.
" . . . to helpless youth, benevolent and kind . . . "
Kara hid behind the locked door and stared into the mirror, feeling the comforting anger surge through her. The toasters may have harvested her ovary, but she did not have a child in common with that frakkin' skinjob. From the other side of the door, that child's cries assaulted her consciousness and she winced, a physical memory made present. Without thought, she rushed to the fallen child and picked her up off the floor. Too much blood for a simple fall. The cylon had left them for the moment. Kara seethed and made a silent vow to make that bastard pay for hurting her. He was going to seriously suffer the next time she killed him.
She held Kacey tightly to her body and laid her gently on the bed. "It's okay. Everything's going to be alright. I won't let anything happen to you," she promised softly as she tended the little girl’s head wound. She found herself praying a familiar childhood prayer. Artemis wouldn't bring Kara's mistakes down on this innocent being. The goddess would protect Kacey and Kara would be Her instrument.
" . . . benignant nourisher . . . "
Starbuck took another swig from the bottle as she warily watched Athena’s hybrid child. Deceptive. That's what it was. She sniffed and shuddered. Unnatural. Athena she knew, trusted as a pilot, even liked, but that didn’t change the fact that Cylons were dangerous and that little half-toaster skinjob was going to be the doom of the whole fleet if they weren't careful. She raised her chin, determined not to let down her guard. Starbuck wouldn't let the child-no, the thing get under her skin. Wouldn't let it bury its lies deep within her.
The child laughed, a melodic sound of freedom Kara couldn't quite believe. She narrowed her eyes as Athena answered with a smile of her own. A brilliant mirror of happiness. Starbuck closed her eyes against the brightness. Sharon had always been bright. Her brightness had blinded them and she had betrayed them all.
Not this Sharon, she reminded herself. This Sharon loved them. This Sharon had risked herself for Galactica and the fleet. This Sharon, Athena, she loved Helo. And little Hera - loved the girl enough to die for her even. Her resurrection meant that Athena would be there to care for her daughter. But it was still painful. Still uncertain. Athena had risked Galactica for that thing. That thing called love. Sacrifice. Starbuck wondered at the magnitude. If called to do so, could she commit as selfless an act?
Rumor among the pilots said that when it was back with the Cylons, the child wouldn't respond to Boomer. Cried unremittingly. Didn't accept the other Sharon as her mother. Somehow, that baby felt she didn't belong. Kara wasn’t sure she believed that story, but she didn’t believe it was entirely made-up, either. Hera had rejected the toaster, a genetic copy of her mother, knowing it was unworthy to care for her, that it didn’t care for her. That it wasn’t hers.
And yet . . . Kara remembered the feel of holding her "daughter" in her arms. The trusting way Kacey had wrapped her arms around her, the open expression as she reached out to share the battered doll. Kacey had embraced Kara, respected and accepted her. Brynn was her mother and that would always be so, but Kara had comforted her, saved her even from a scary place. The girl remembered, and Gods . . . maybe she even loved her for it.
Kara felt shivers reach up her spine, struck by the thought of Kacey deeming her of all people a worthy surrogate mother, someone in whom the girl could share her joys and her sorrows and implicitly know that her needs would be met. Starbuck knew that only when she was flying could she put that kind of trust in herself. Kara thought of the disappointment she felt when Brynn had taken Kacey in the hangar bay. The woman had thanked her, but Kara knew the truth; It had hit her hard in the gut and she had recoiled inside, pained that Kacey wasn’t hers. Kara's care for the child before the reunion on Galactica, and her seeking out the family later didn't matter; she was sure she didn’t deserve the little girl’s affection.
Starbuck stumbled to her bunk, unworthiness flooding her emotions. Long ago, she’d made a vow to earn the protection of Artemis. She never had, but she’d be damned if she didn’t still seek Her approval. Kara fought the feelings and brought out her idols to pray.
" . . . with births you sympathise."
The growing realization of her Destiny had left Starbuck feeling giddy, excited. Maybe a little bit scared. She held onto her faith. Resolute. She would lead her people to safety. Bring them all home. The light of the explosion was brilliant and all consuming, but she accepted it willingly.
Kara held Socrata's hand, feeling the thin skin, tender beneath her own rough calluses. Her mother's eyes were closed. Closed to the miracle she was witnessing. Closed to the power of love. Closed to the miracle of birth. Death and rebirth. Closed somehow in peace.
Kara closed her own eyes and felt the peace overwhelm her. Felt love encompass her. Hope fill her. She'd fought her way here. Forgiven and been forgiven. The journey had been long. The knowledge gained and the challenge it brought often hurt. Birth was painful, but the ecstacy following was worth it, for it had been well-earned. She greeted Artemis with open arms.
Feedback is precious, loved, and adored.
x-posted to bsg_women and orinally posted to ninebillion on 14 March 2008.
Title Good Hunting
Rating/Warning TEEN for violence
Pairings/Characters Kara "Starbuck" Thrace; secondary: Socrata Thrace, Kacey and Julia Brynn, Sharon "Athena" and Hera Agathon
Spoilers through "Maelstrom"
Summary Kara prays a hymn to Artemis trying to believe in Divine Motherhood. Prompt from rivrea for ninebillion
Thanks to the excellent skills and for the insightful suggestions of my betas bop_radar and sabaceanbabe. All remaining mistakes are mine.
A/N I welcome concrit via private message!
"Guard of the race, imbued with gentle mind . . . "
Sister Helena explained each phrase with a steady patience. Kara practiced the words slowly, letting them slide around her tongue and settle on her lips. She held the Lord's idol tightly, closed her eyes, and felt the prayer's raw meaning envelope her. She wanted, no needed (was she allowed to need?) the favor of Artemis.
Today wasn't a Holy Day and Kara was only allowed to go to the temple on Holy Days, but she had slipped away this morning; Socrata Thrace wouldn't wake until this afternoon and even then she would be soporific in an alcoholic stupor. Kara had taken a calculated risk, and besides this was important.
Sister Helena looked at her with gentle eyes and told her the legends of Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, and Protector of Girls. Kara listened avidly, her mind captivated by the ancient stories.
She came home to find her mother out of uniform, and teeth bared as she dangled her cigarette. "Where’ve you been?"
Kara looked down at her hands. Her mother would know if she lied. "The temple."
Socrata flared her nostrils, obviously angry, but her voice was low and controlled. "You don’t have permission to go there. I didn’t know where you were. Don’t you think of anyone but yourself?"
The back of Socrata’s hand hit Kara’s face, just as she caught sight of it. She bit her lip and hitched her breath. "I’m sorry, Mother."
It never occurred to the girl that as an innocent, protection was her due. Kara just knew that Artemis wouldn’t suffer fools; she vowed to follow Her path. She would start tonight and not stop until she had earned the Lord’s protection.
She clutched the small idol in front of her as she chanted the memorized words.
" . . . to helpless youth, benevolent and kind . . . "
Kara hid behind the locked door and stared into the mirror, feeling the comforting anger surge through her. The toasters may have harvested her ovary, but she did not have a child in common with that frakkin' skinjob. From the other side of the door, that child's cries assaulted her consciousness and she winced, a physical memory made present. Without thought, she rushed to the fallen child and picked her up off the floor. Too much blood for a simple fall. The cylon had left them for the moment. Kara seethed and made a silent vow to make that bastard pay for hurting her. He was going to seriously suffer the next time she killed him.
She held Kacey tightly to her body and laid her gently on the bed. "It's okay. Everything's going to be alright. I won't let anything happen to you," she promised softly as she tended the little girl’s head wound. She found herself praying a familiar childhood prayer. Artemis wouldn't bring Kara's mistakes down on this innocent being. The goddess would protect Kacey and Kara would be Her instrument.
" . . . benignant nourisher . . . "
Starbuck took another swig from the bottle as she warily watched Athena’s hybrid child. Deceptive. That's what it was. She sniffed and shuddered. Unnatural. Athena she knew, trusted as a pilot, even liked, but that didn’t change the fact that Cylons were dangerous and that little half-toaster skinjob was going to be the doom of the whole fleet if they weren't careful. She raised her chin, determined not to let down her guard. Starbuck wouldn't let the child-no, the thing get under her skin. Wouldn't let it bury its lies deep within her.
The child laughed, a melodic sound of freedom Kara couldn't quite believe. She narrowed her eyes as Athena answered with a smile of her own. A brilliant mirror of happiness. Starbuck closed her eyes against the brightness. Sharon had always been bright. Her brightness had blinded them and she had betrayed them all.
Not this Sharon, she reminded herself. This Sharon loved them. This Sharon had risked herself for Galactica and the fleet. This Sharon, Athena, she loved Helo. And little Hera - loved the girl enough to die for her even. Her resurrection meant that Athena would be there to care for her daughter. But it was still painful. Still uncertain. Athena had risked Galactica for that thing. That thing called love. Sacrifice. Starbuck wondered at the magnitude. If called to do so, could she commit as selfless an act?
Rumor among the pilots said that when it was back with the Cylons, the child wouldn't respond to Boomer. Cried unremittingly. Didn't accept the other Sharon as her mother. Somehow, that baby felt she didn't belong. Kara wasn’t sure she believed that story, but she didn’t believe it was entirely made-up, either. Hera had rejected the toaster, a genetic copy of her mother, knowing it was unworthy to care for her, that it didn’t care for her. That it wasn’t hers.
And yet . . . Kara remembered the feel of holding her "daughter" in her arms. The trusting way Kacey had wrapped her arms around her, the open expression as she reached out to share the battered doll. Kacey had embraced Kara, respected and accepted her. Brynn was her mother and that would always be so, but Kara had comforted her, saved her even from a scary place. The girl remembered, and Gods . . . maybe she even loved her for it.
Kara felt shivers reach up her spine, struck by the thought of Kacey deeming her of all people a worthy surrogate mother, someone in whom the girl could share her joys and her sorrows and implicitly know that her needs would be met. Starbuck knew that only when she was flying could she put that kind of trust in herself. Kara thought of the disappointment she felt when Brynn had taken Kacey in the hangar bay. The woman had thanked her, but Kara knew the truth; It had hit her hard in the gut and she had recoiled inside, pained that Kacey wasn’t hers. Kara's care for the child before the reunion on Galactica, and her seeking out the family later didn't matter; she was sure she didn’t deserve the little girl’s affection.
Starbuck stumbled to her bunk, unworthiness flooding her emotions. Long ago, she’d made a vow to earn the protection of Artemis. She never had, but she’d be damned if she didn’t still seek Her approval. Kara fought the feelings and brought out her idols to pray.
" . . . with births you sympathise."
The growing realization of her Destiny had left Starbuck feeling giddy, excited. Maybe a little bit scared. She held onto her faith. Resolute. She would lead her people to safety. Bring them all home. The light of the explosion was brilliant and all consuming, but she accepted it willingly.
Kara held Socrata's hand, feeling the thin skin, tender beneath her own rough calluses. Her mother's eyes were closed. Closed to the miracle she was witnessing. Closed to the power of love. Closed to the miracle of birth. Death and rebirth. Closed somehow in peace.
Kara closed her own eyes and felt the peace overwhelm her. Felt love encompass her. Hope fill her. She'd fought her way here. Forgiven and been forgiven. The journey had been long. The knowledge gained and the challenge it brought often hurt. Birth was painful, but the ecstacy following was worth it, for it had been well-earned. She greeted Artemis with open arms.
Feedback is precious, loved, and adored.
x-posted to bsg_women and orinally posted to ninebillion on 14 March 2008.