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[isilwath]

I’m not okay. Ok? I’m not okay. I have too much shit getting thrown at me at once.

My mom’s been dead a year.

It’s Thanksgiving, the start of the HoliDAZE season, but of course, my mom’s dead, my dad’s dead, I have almost no contact with my mother’s side of the family, and my brothers do their own thing for the holidays and always have. So it’s just

Comments

[coffee_gyrl]

I'm so very sorry that all this shit is coming your way. I wish could catch a break. This is bullshit, I'm sorry. *hugs* You are an awesome woman with a big heart and an amazing mind. I am wishing better for you. <3

[ext_3931384]

I wish I had the wisdom and ability to help. I wish I could stop feeling my own pain that catching up on all that has happened while I recovered over this past two years. But I cant , all I can do is carry on. Carry on wishing that we didnt have to loose family. I really wish I could help you, but I can barely help myself. All I can do is offer you my hopes that things can and do get better. Im sorry if this is a bit rambling, Im still getting used to not bottling everything up the wishing they were still here and the feeling glad that there is no more suffering.

tldr: internet hugs

Nigel

[isilwath]

TY. All we can do is what we are doing. It's been a crappy couple of years. With luck 2017 will be better. *hugs*

[anonymous]

I began reading your Lucky Ones series years ago and began to re-read it this past week. I decided to take a peak at your LJ and upon seeing the struggles you have gone through, I just wanted to give you my moral support. I understand that my words are just that--words, but I still wanted you to know that someone is thinking of you. I am sincerely sorry that 2016 was not a good year for you and I hope that 2017 was better. Not everything in life can be resolved but I hope that there were some good moments in 2017 that made the unpleasant ones bearable.
I truly wish you the best as we approach 2018 and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I understand that depression is hard to deal with and wrestling with it can be exhausting so if this post makes your day even a little bit brighter, then I know I have accomplished something great. :)

Best wishes,
A fellow Inuyasha fan.

[isilwath]

Thank you. 2017 hasn't been much better, but I guess I'm just better at compartmentalizing. I dunno. I think I may just have gone numb.

The holiDAZE are rolling around again, and I do find myself thinking of mom and holidays past. Mostly with a kind of melancholy resignation. none of what was "normal" is normal anymore. I'm trying to adjust, but feeling very much left behind.

I'm hoping 2018 will be better, but I hope for each year to be better than the one before.

Thank you for your kind words. It always surprises me when people comment on things that are so old. I'm glad people are still reading my works. I wish I could finish Coyote Child. It's almost done, actually. I just can't seem to find the muse enough to write the last 2 chapters. :( Maybe I should make that my goal in 2018.

Thank you again. I'm glad my work has touched you in a positive way. I hope the holiday season is a good one for you as well, and that 2018 brings more happiness than tears.

Be safe.