Fic: Unicorns, in New York
Title: Unicorns, in New York
Fandom: Avengers
Rating: Pg-13 (Language only)
Characters: Mainly Steve, Tony, Bruce
Disclaimer: I don’t own any rights to anything Marvel or Avengers. I just wanted to have some fun
Summary: Written for a prompt on avengerkink. Tony gets turned into a unicorn. Need I say more?
A/N: The ‘unfinished’ feel at the end was intentional. So this is a oneshot.
Loki sat and watched, trying to think of a way to take out the Avengers… Alone, they were pathetic, weak; human. Regardless of their individual ability they could be defeated when alone. Together was a totally different story. With the exception of that Hulking creature that so easily threw him around as if he was a doll, the rest would fall easily Perhaps, if he could figure a way to keep the beast out of the picture he would be able to-
Loki smiled and stood, knowing instantly what could be done. What better way to keep a massive raging beast on the sidelines than to change it into something that wouldn’t be able to find anger, regardless of the predicament? It was genius! Why hadn’t he thought of it before? A simple spell and Hulk would be no more than a happily grazing animal thinking nothing of fighting and only of being content. It was better than any of those pathetic ‘tranquilizers’ the humans had no doubt tried on the massive beast. “We’ll see which of us is ‘puny’,” Loki stalked off in search of the man Bruce Banner.
Finding his target and taking aim, he scoffed. The man was always around that infernal technology lover Tony Stark. He had to hold off his spell until the man had pulled away from whatever they had been looking over, only to growl in annoyance when they never let the other get more than an arm’s reach from the other, jabbering about something Loki didn’t care to understand. After five minutes of infinite waiting he let the spell fly. Knowing he’d strike Banner, if not both of them with it due to their proximity. He saw no downside, he’s still have Banner out of the way if not Stark too.
Tony jolted suddenly, the arc’s light flashing so bright it reflected pure blue in his eyes. “The fuck,” before he could finish his question, the arc dimmed completely and Tony disappeared from Bruce’s sight.
“Tony? TONY?! JARVIS what happened?!”
“I’m not sure Dr. Banner, I can’t seem to locate Sir at all. He’s no longer within the building.”
Tony didn’t like it here… too much metal, lights, silence. No green below, no blue above, all metal, no nature. He reared back, really kicking Bruce before back stepping and running for the door. He wanted out; he didn’t want to be here. There was no wind, no birds, no trees rattling, no sun; only cold metal and bright unnatural lights. The door didn’t open; he whinnied at it and kicked out, crashing through the cold unnatural glass and ran from the room. Less metal, less unnatural lights, but now there were barriers on either side of him.
“JARVIS, what the hell just happened?”
“I’m not sure Dr. Banner, I didn’t detect a fault in the glass and I detected nothing hitting it.”
Somehow Tony found his way out of the unnatural structure crying out happily and rearing up in delight before catching sight of trees and hearing birds. He ran to follow the sounds of home. Among the scream of metal beasts and humans he finally found a sanctuary. The park, he whinnied happily and pranced around, throwing his head and flicking his mane happily as the birds sang and dove toward him.
He had run himself pleasantly exhausted before finding a water source to sooth his dry throat. Arc blue eyes looked up at the humans walking/running/biking nearby with instinctive curiosity. One caught his attention, familiarity flared in his chest beneath the blue patch marking his heart. He jumped the edge of the pond to catch up to the running human faster. He whinnied loudly, making the man he was keeping up with stumble and turn toward the sound.
Steve’s eyes went wide, he tripped over a rock in the path when he wasn’t looking and nearly fell flat but stayed upright when the creature grabbed his sleeve in blunt teeth and pulled him towards it to use it as a stabilizer. “Uh?” Steve blinked at the dark mane now beneath his fingers when his hand had raised to steady himself automatically. It took another whinny and a rather forceful nose to his chest for Steve to realize he wasn’t seeing things, it was real. And if it wasn’t for the giant horn protruding from its head and the beard now tickling his neck as the beast stepped so it was hiding its eyes he would have sworn it was a horse. But horses didn’t have horns, and they defiantly didn’t run wild in Central Park. “Uh, could you quit that? It tickles.” The beast nayed, sounded suspiciously like it was laughing at him before stepping back and nudging him again with his nose, making Steve wince with how close that horn came to his face each time. “Okay, okay, easy,” not really seeing any other choice, he reached up to pet the beast.
Tony liked this human, he didn’t act like he wasn’t there, like he couldn’t see him unlike the one back in the unnatural metal room. He tossed back his head, wanting to smile when the human reached up to take a grip on his hair. It was soft, meant to lead not restrain or force. He was nice, pure, he didn’t mind his touch. Unlike the few that had brushed his haunches when he was searching for home. They all felt disgusting, like what made them impure could somehow rub off onto him. It made his hackles raise and skin crawl. “Come on boy. Let’s find out where you belong. Maybe there’s a play group missing their star or possibly a carriage owner that’s missing his ‘unicorn’.” Tony was confused by that, why would he belong to anyone? He was free, happy! He just wanted to stay by this nice human that was petting his mane and leading him carefully, peacefully through the wonderful green of home.
“Excuse me,” Steve called to the first coachmen he found, “Do you know of anyone missing a horse? I seem to have found this one wondering around the park unbridled.” Steve blinked at the look the coachmen gave him before looking around him as if he was joking before shaking his head like he was an idiot and snapping his own team to movement. “Okay, well if you hear anything…” he grumble under his breath as the beast whinnied loudly and nudged his back hard enough to make him jump forward. “Easy, boy, I’m looking for you owner.” Steve continued to tentatively lead the docile creature around the coachmen, searching for his owner. Every one of them reacted in a similar fashion to the first. The beast only ever whinnied, as if laughing at him, and never once gave Steve a hint as to where or who his owner might be.
Steve was starving, and exhausted, and annoyed by the end of his four hour search. No one he came across had any clue about any missing horses and the worst part is they all acted as if they couldn’t see the beast that was constantly nudging his arm, whinnying, or nuzzling his hair right in front of them! And Stark still wasn’t answering his damn phone. “Captain Rogers, this is JARVIS, I’m sorry to pick up in Sir’s stead but we seem to have a bit of a predicament. Sir has gone missing.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Steve grumbled into the phone, “Okay, do you think he’d mind my boarding a horse for a few days? The thing’s just been wondering around the park and I haven’t been able to find its owner.”
“A horse? I must admit that’s not the worst thing Sir has brought home but I do not think we’re equipped to handle one. Though, if it’s temporary, I’m sure Sir wouldn’t mind a temporary stall set up in the garage for it.”
“Can it be ready for him when I walk him back to the tower?”
“The stall at least, it may take a few hours for adequate feed supply to arrive.”
“Thank you JARVIS, can you tell Stark when he does finally show up?”
“Of course, Captain Rogers,” Steve put his phone away and groaned at the lack of the beast’s presence at his back. “Where’d he…” he blinked at the sound of giggling as he sighted the nearly white beast leaning down over a water fountain while a group of children laughed, petted, and kept the fountain on for the unicorn to get a drink.
“Suzy, what are you doing? I told you not to play in the water,” a mother reprimanded as she drug the sad looking child away from the now waterless fountain.
“But mommy, the unicown was thuwsty,” the child whined back, earning a grumble about overactive imagination.
“Ma’am,” Steve called to the mother, his soft smile and pose somehow getting her to relax enough to realize a serviceman was addressing her. “You can’t see him?” Steve pointed to the fountain, the beast had gone back to drinking when another child held the water on for him.
“See who? I only see a bunch of kids wasting water,” was said someone defensive before she stormed off with the whining child in tow.
Steve was beyond confused when the beast came back, either done drinking or bored, to nudge his arm. “Why can’t she see you?” Steve reached up to run fingers through dark hair, suddenly worried that maybe the ice had done more to his mind than they realized.
It took a bit of time to lead the beast to the tower, seems it didn’t like streets or people or buildings. Steve couldn’t figure out how the beast didn’t seem to like anyone else that rushed passed them, the fact that no one noticed the unicorn didn’t miss his notice, accept him and the occasional child that would be drug past them. “Daddy, daddy, a unicorn!” The father forcibly hushed the child as they blended into the rest of the crowd.
“Captain Rogers,” Steve jumped, startling the beast and quickly soothing him when JARVIS startled him. “Did you lose the equine during your trip? My scanners indicate you are alone.”
Steve whined, making the beast nuzzle his shoulder, “I really am losing it.”
“What make you think that Captain?” Steve laughed, hysterics trying to show through as he lead the beast deeper into the garage, hoping it was just outside JARVIS’ sight.
“Am I still alone JARVIS?”
“Yes,” Steve shut his eyes at the confusion in the AI’s voice. Great, he’d confused the man -because honestly he couldn’t think of JARVIS as just a machine- that had been around Tony Stark all its existence and he’d been the one to succeed in confusing him.
Tony didn’t like it here, he didn’t like the hard ground, or the lack of light, natural or unnatural. “It’s okay boy, JARVIS will turn the lights up for you a little bit,” JARVIS, whoever that was, had to have heard because the lights flared softly above them, reminding of stars. He didn’t hate that as much as the other ones from earlier but he didn’t not like them either.
“You’ll have all the food you can eat, and water. And if you need anything,” Steve fell silent. He’d forgotten JARVIS, for some reason, couldn’t see the creature. He wouldn’t be able to know if something was wrong with it.
Steve led the skittish beast into the stall and smiled at him, shaking the hay in the feeder to catch his attention before allowing nature to take its course. The beast happily dug into his meal while Steve left the stall to secure the door. “I’ll be back in a few hours to check on you.” Steve didn’t get far, he ended up feeling a tug at his sleeve and blinking at the beast. The stall door was still shut, still secured, how had it gotten out? “Come on, I can’t stay down here, I need to eat too and I still reek from my run before I found you.” Steve grumbled and scrubbed at his hair, “I’ll be back as soon as I can okay? But you have to stay in the stall until I get back okay?”
Tony was sad, he was left in the stall, and the human was leaving again. This time he just sighed sadly and went back to nibbling at the food he had left. Did he do something wrong? The lights went down completely and he whinnied loudly and kicked against the side of the stall, making it shake. The lights flared as if in surprise before they settled back to the low star glow than made him want to sleep.
“Captain Rogers,” Steve automatically jerked the shower curtain around his waist when he heard the voice, “Forgive my instruction but your… guest seems to somehow be outside the ability my sensing ability.”
“Uh, oh, so, how did you finally figure out he was really there?”
“He seemed agitated by the automatic lights turning off and kicked the stall.”
“Good, so I’m not losing my mind, he’s just… weird.”
“So it would seem. Would you like me to send Dr. Banner down? He may not be a veterinarian but he would have the medical knowledge to at least check him over without outside incidence.” Translation, JARVIS is confused and needs a second, accepting, opinion on whether it was just his sensors messing up or if there were biological limitations to his programming. If it was the latter he’d have to, once tracked down, inform Tony of the issues.
“Uh, I doubt that would help but… just warn Bruce that he might not be able to see him. For some reason only children have, I seem to be the only adult that can.”
Steve freaked the moment he got to the garage and heard the deep voice of hulk, even more so when he saw green when he turned the corner to where the stall was, or had been. “HORSEY!” Hulk smiled happily as the unicorn tilted its head up to let Hulk pet its hair. “HORSEY SOFT!”
“Yes Hulk, horsey soft, be careful,” Steve raised his arms when Hulk glared at him. “Wait, you can see him?”
“STAR MAN,” Hulk snorted at him and set the unicorn back on his feet.
“Yeah, star man,” Steve grumbled then froze when the unicorn nuzzled Hulk’s giant hand then trotted over to nuzzle Steve’s. “What happened that Hulk’s here?”
“HORSEY KICK,” Steve freaked out, running his hands over the beast’s neck, shoulders, back, trying to find any possible injuries Banner may have unintentionally cause during or post transformation. “HULK LIKE HORSEY!”
The unicorn tossed his head and trotted back to let Hulk softly pat his head before he reared at the smashed stall, “HORSEY NO LIKE CAGE!”
“Yeah, I know, but he needed a place that he would be safe. So he couldn’t get lost or someone take him away.”
Hulk seemed to not get past ‘cage’, “HULK SMASH CAGE!”
“Alright, you did, I see that,” Steve sighed, wondering if addressing JARVIS was a better idea than waiting for Bruce to wake back up. “Hey, Hulk, are you calmed down? Getting to smash the cage, and pet the nice horsey?”
“HULK LIKE,” was bellowed, Steve felt the vibrations in his chest as he got closer to him.
“Do you think you can let Bruce back out? I mean, it’d be nice to let him see the horsey too,” Hulk seemed a little confused but the unicorn just nuzzled and whinnied at him before stepping back to go back to Steve.
Tony saw the nice giant shrinking and his hackles raised, he recognized the man from before and dove behind Steve as the pale man groaned and looked up at them. “Steve, what’s that behind you?” Steve’s eyes went wide before the doctor groaned and blacked out.
“He saw you, right? I mean, I’m not imagining you. JARVIS saw you kick the stall and Hulk can see you but then Hulk isn’t high on the mental scale.” Tony nudged Steve’s arm and snorted at him, “I’m rambling, I know, it’s just…”
No matter how many times Steve pointed out the beast, after the doctor had recovered from his transformation, he couldn’t seem to see him again. Though he kept offering something about residual imaging or something along that line, Steve wasn’t really listening. He was losing his mind.
Tony didn’t like Steve worrying, so he followed as the odd, sometimes giant, human lead him inside a metal box that moved. Steve didn’t seem to realize he was following and Tony had to press himself against the cold unnatural metal to keep from brushing the other human but he didn’t mind. He wanted to make sure his human was alright.
“Steve, you said the other guy could see it right? Maybe it has something to do with brainwaves? It has been documented that he runs on minimal brain activity.”
“Then why can the children see him?! I mean, all of them seem to, none of the adults can. You can’t,” Steve flailed his arms toward the beast standing behind them trying its damnedest to keep from touching Bruce. “He’s right there! And you don’t even realize it!”
“Calm down,” Bruce offered as they reached the right floor. “Okay, can you get him to come close enough to touch?” Steve had to snort at the beast skirting past Bruce when the door opened as if he was made of acid and one touch would hurt him.
“He doesn’t seem to want to touch you, I don’t know why, he was fine with Hulk petting him,” Steve looked apologetic as the beast stood in the hall waiting for them to lead him.
“Well, the other guy is essentially a giant green child,” Bruce admitted, as he stepped forward, blinking at the sudden change in the air. “Did it just walk around me?”
“Yeah,” Steve said as Bruce turned to see his hand up in the air next to him, moving as if petting something.
Bruce still couldn’t get over Steve randomly reaching out at nothing or the occasional table or chair suddenly flying when he seemed to get too close to the creature. It kind of hurt his feelings that he couldn’t see it or even touch it, not even for scientific purposes. “Just one touch couldn’t hurt it…”
“The way he keeps acting I’d say it might. I mean, where was the last time you screamed and ran from someone just trying to touch you without them trying to hurt you?”
“Good point,” Bruce sighed and reached into the fridge to pull out a carrot. He’d been trying to get Tony to eat healthier and freeze dried/dehydrated fruit where not the best constant… Bruce jumped when a huge chunk of it suddenly disappeared only to blink at the sudden sting of lab chairs getting shoved out of the way as, no doubt, the unicorn rushed back to Steve who was laughing.
“Well he has been up here for awhile, he’s probably starving,” Steve offered with a shrug then smiled as Bruce held out the rest of the carrot as the shy looking beast slowly stepped closer before taking the vegetable from the doctor’s hand. Bruce was positively beaming. Whether or not he could see it or touch it, the carrot disappearing from his hand as the creature took it was all the scientific proof he needed for the meter to swing from ‘unlikely’ to ‘plausible’ uncataloged creature.
Steve was groaning as the rest of the Avengers (sans Tony, who was still MIA and even JARVIS seemed worried by how much lag there seemed to be between them addressing him and his responding) stood in front of him and the unicorn who was hiding behind him as if he might save him. “Steve, if it is a unicorn there are all sorts of legends that says it can be seen by all humans but only because it wants to.”
“Then why the hell can I see him NOW and none of you can?!” Steve was getting even more annoyed when Bruce had first started researching unicorns and had glanced his way and blushed, not saying anything about it since.
“Well, if the legends are true, uh… Only ‘pure’ humans can see them.”
Steve blinked, looking confused as Clint chuckled and Natasha rolled her eyes, “For the love of, virgins Steve, only virgins can see unicorns unless they WANT to be seen.”
Steve blinked, blushing, “Oh…” He jerked forward when the beast nudged him forward playfully, smiling and reaching to pet between those glowing blue eyes. They reminded him of something… “Wait, if they want to be seen they can? Can you let them see you? Please? I’m feeling a little alone here.”
Tony dropped his head, snorting at the other humans with a glare, “I won’t let them touch you,” Tony’s head tossed up happily as he nuzzled Steve’s shoulder before shutting his eyes.
“Holy…”
“That’s not possible.”
Steve smiled, throwing his arms around the beast, getting a startled nay in response, “Thank you!”
“It’s a horse,” Clint said, making Steve blink. He looked at the horn still protruding from the beast’s head. No, that was a unicorn…
“Dr. Banner, I seem to be able to sense an unknown animal species. Is it the same one that was previously blocked from my sensors?” JARVIS’ voice was never more wanted than then.
“It seems to be, yes.”
“Then there seems to be a problem with my sensors that might have caused a malfunction, because I am picking up Sir’s presence in the same location.”
Steve couldn’t look more mortified. He turned to see the beast nibbling at his arm, trying to get his attention. “Tony?”
Tony cried loudly, happily, his human had said his name! He couldn’t understand how he knew it and didn’t care as long as he didn’t have to get too close to the other humans.
“Oh. My. God,” Natasha said as she watched the horse, no unicorn masquerading as a horse, playfully nudging Steve’s arm hard enough to throw it into the air. “That’s Tony freaking Stark?!”
“It would seem so Agent Romanoff,” JARVIS responded, sounding a little shaken himself.
“That explains how Tony disappeared in the middle of the lab earlier, but how did he get turned into that,” Bruce asked, still dumbfounded at Tony looking around at the large windows to watch the occasional bird fly by it.
“I think the more important question at the moment doctor is ‘how do we change him back’.”
“Right, yeah, okay, let’s get going on that…”