The Lucky 13: Introduction
1. My name is the Master. I'm a Time Lord. Somewhat well-known on Gallifrey, when it was around. I fought in the Time War. That, and I was the first to regenerate twice before choosing my name.
2. I am not mad, whatever you may have heard about me.
3. I'm also not Harold Saxon. Master. Two syllables, not exactly difficult, even for you human apes.
4. I could kill you by looking at you. No, seriously. Well, it's a bit more complicated than that, but I could hypnotize you into killing yourself without moving from my chair, which is just as impressive.
5. I like beds. Big, luxurious beds with silk sheets. If there's one thing they got right on Earth, it's the sleeping quarters.
6. Make that two things. You can't get a decent coffee or tea on any other planet.
7. Oh, yes, I'm married. Terribly sorry to anyone who was hoping. Yes, I actually like her. She's superior to most of her species. Much like myself.
8. I'll say it once and never again; no, I don't like you, not one tiny bit. Unless your name is Lucy Saxon or the Doctor or you've been specifically told otherwise, yes, that goes for you. And it might if it's the second, as well, depending on how necessary you are. Next time I have to say it, I'll let my laser screwdriver do the talking for me.
9. I love my laser screwdriver. It has nine hundred settings. Not bad for something thrown together between 21st century Earth technology and scrap metal from the end of the universe, hmm?
10. If you're from early 21st century Earth, you might not remember it, but I ruled you once. That was a beautiful year.
11. I will rule you again, someday. The entire bloody universe.
12. The most beautiful sight I have ever seen is the first dull, red glow of my Paradox Machine. Oh, she was gorgeous. Only thing that comes close is the sight of a Dalek fleet burning at my hands.
13. I am a very reasonable man. You may want to remember this if you ever cross me. I might even save your life, if you haven't done anything too terrible. Maybe. If you can beg.
2. I am not mad, whatever you may have heard about me.
3. I'm also not Harold Saxon. Master. Two syllables, not exactly difficult, even for you human apes.
4. I could kill you by looking at you. No, seriously. Well, it's a bit more complicated than that, but I could hypnotize you into killing yourself without moving from my chair, which is just as impressive.
5. I like beds. Big, luxurious beds with silk sheets. If there's one thing they got right on Earth, it's the sleeping quarters.
6. Make that two things. You can't get a decent coffee or tea on any other planet.
7. Oh, yes, I'm married. Terribly sorry to anyone who was hoping. Yes, I actually like her. She's superior to most of her species. Much like myself.
8. I'll say it once and never again; no, I don't like you, not one tiny bit. Unless your name is Lucy Saxon or the Doctor or you've been specifically told otherwise, yes, that goes for you. And it might if it's the second, as well, depending on how necessary you are. Next time I have to say it, I'll let my laser screwdriver do the talking for me.
9. I love my laser screwdriver. It has nine hundred settings. Not bad for something thrown together between 21st century Earth technology and scrap metal from the end of the universe, hmm?
10. If you're from early 21st century Earth, you might not remember it, but I ruled you once. That was a beautiful year.
11. I will rule you again, someday. The entire bloody universe.
12. The most beautiful sight I have ever seen is the first dull, red glow of my Paradox Machine. Oh, she was gorgeous. Only thing that comes close is the sight of a Dalek fleet burning at my hands.
13. I am a very reasonable man. You may want to remember this if you ever cross me. I might even save your life, if you haven't done anything too terrible. Maybe. If you can beg.