(no subject)
okay. don't read this. i just need to type something. i can't get started on my gov paper. i need to turn it in tomorrow. wahhhwahhwawewah. instead, i'm thinking about how much of an asshole i am. okay. it's a given that my dad's a jerk, but he gave me flowers for v-day and i didn't come home at all that day or say anything to him. i'm staring at them right now. if you knew him, you'd wonder why i feel guilty. but i can't help feeling, finally. for once, it would be nice to hear actual words instead of getting a gift that i don't understand the meaning of. emo.
i also want to change the way i am with my mom. i have an attitude every time i talk to her over the phone, mostly cuz i'm tired, but i realized today that those moments really are the only time i can tell her what's going on in my life. she wants me to keep her updated. but i never feel like talking. last weekend i mistakingly thought that something happened to her, but nothing happened and i felt stupid. but that was the worst feeling ever and now i'm even more worried about her than i have been lately. i still haven't told her what i felt that day. i love her. i'm terrible with change. friends have changed. i realized how two-faced people are. i dislike that and man, i'm sick of it. damn it feels good to be a gangster. i feel like peter from office space.