Just had the worst week ever, merci beaucoup
So on Monday (or was it Tuesday?) Arthur comes out with some news for me. He has his passport and he's ready to see me. Yay! But wait: there's something he wants to get off his chest. What could this be? If he's going to apologize again for sleeping with other women, whatever. I've obviously been with another guy, so it doesn't matter. Those girls don't have faces to me, I can't pin them to anyone, and I don't know them or want to know them and neither do... what? Kiera? My best friend Kiera who I introduced you to? Now, there are a thousand reasons why I shouldn't be upset with him. We weren't dating at that point, he was really drunk (and I'm assuming she was too? I don't know, I'm not going to talk to her about it), and he doesn't and never did love her. But it was one week after he moved into campus, and he didn't even wait for me to leave first before he went and did this, and with someone who I trusted him never to do it with, especially because this break-up was only supposed to be temporary in the first place-- a chance for us to fool around a bit while separated by the Atlantic Ocean... sleep with who you will, but not with my best friend. (Technically, best female friend, because Art is supposed to be my best friend). I just feel betrayed and, as hard as it's going to be, I can find a way to forgive him... somehow...
*crushed*
And on top of that, I was having a conversation with Rémi on MSN, and I was teasing him because he's always so quiet and so I said "What, you don't like going out with me?" and he thought that I wanted a relationship with him and I had to say, "Um, no. That's not what I meant... I was teasing you... fuck, how do I say that in French because he knows no English?" I think he thinks I'm crazy now, espeically because last night (when I was a bit drunk, yes) I called him 8 times in a period of 5 hours... and the last few times, only because I really just wanted a ride home. But seriously, pick up your phone and tell someone that you don't want to see them or talk to them, don't leave them guessing. If I see him on campus again, I'm going to make it quite clear that I don't love him or care to have a relationship with him and that I'd really just enjoy someone to speak in French with who I know won't revert to English with me. And I think I just fucked that up. Fuuuuuuuuck.
Last night was just terrible, because I had two guys try to kiss me. The first I downright rejected, but the second, it was hard because we were crammed into a bunch of people, but it was terrible so I made sure that he stopped by just moving my head a little: and it was one of Rachael's friends, too! And he tried sticking his hands in my pants: I don't know if he was going for the pockets or whatever but I was totally not cool with that, either. I'm glad we soon found Rachael in the crowd again because honestly, I did not want that kind of attention. I mean, when I was with Rémi, it was a lot different than dancing with this guy. Rachael almost made me dance with her friend. I wanted to dance with Rémi, however. And if he would've picked up his phone, maybe we could have cleared some misunderstandings. But all for nothing. And to make things worse, I had to walk home at 3 am because the trams stop and 2 and I missed the last one (why I wanted a ride home) and during this nice walk, my best companion came knocking at my ovaries... that's right. And I didn't have a tampon (or really a way to stop and take care of it... gross.) So that was absolutely disgusting.
Egh. Just everything. I thought that going out would help me forget about my terrible week with Art and his trying to talk to me "oh baby, it'll get better, let me make it better" (bullshit), but it didn't. It just made it worse. Hell, I might go back to sleep for a little while and do my homework later, because honestly, I don't feel so good. I just need one of those time-turners from Harry Potter so I can go back and just redo the week over again. The one highlight was talking to Jonathan, and I wish I could talk to him now because he just makes me smile. Him and his Québécois accent.
Oh well. No picture today. Nothing to take a picture of.