Do people even read these? No. Do I care? Not really.
Okay I'm actually freaking out a bit ehehe...
Not in a good way, by the way.
Let's not even talk about the packing I still haven't finished, or coming to terms with the fact that I. LEAVE. JAPAN. IN. A. FEW. DAYS. THE PLACE I HAVE LIVED THE LAST TEN MONTHS OF MY LIFE.
But if for some stupid reason I can't by Come On A My House tomorrow, I feel I might breakdown...
You're probably thinking I'm exaggerating, right? And I probably am...
But here's the thing... These whole ten months I've been waiting for JUMP to release a single, so I could buy it in Japan and support them. I suck at everything and I've screwed up in this country so many times it's not funny, and everyday I leave the house worrying about someone seeing my mistakes and judging me, because I'm sure it's all over my messy hair and uniform and my sleeping in class and my still-crappy Japanese. But through all that fear and loneliness, I've made it. I not only survived the ten months of my exchange, but I had an amazing time. Even though I'm still not fluent in Japanese, I know a lot more than I did, and I'm so much better. Even though I've screwed up and embarrassed myself so many times, I've done things right and been praised and even felt proud of myself. Even though I always worry people are judging me here, I've made some amazing friendships and met some of the kindest people.
I've done all of that.. and the fact that just before I leave, just a few days before I go home, JUMP releases their new single? It seems like it's beyond coincidence. It's like fate or a god something is saying to me "Well done, you deserve this reward."
So if something gets in the way, it's like fate is actually saying "You haven't done anything right and you've failed."
And I can't really see a logical reason behind me not being able to get it... because I mean, I'm even leaving school early in order to buy it before everyone. But I'm paranoid, so I can't shake the feeling.
So even though I know it might be stupid to rely on a god or fate or anything, I've done everything I can, and I have no other choice but to hope and pray to something out there D;
Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa why am I so melodramatic though....
Not in a good way, by the way.
Let's not even talk about the packing I still haven't finished, or coming to terms with the fact that I. LEAVE. JAPAN. IN. A. FEW. DAYS. THE PLACE I HAVE LIVED THE LAST TEN MONTHS OF MY LIFE.
But if for some stupid reason I can't by Come On A My House tomorrow, I feel I might breakdown...
You're probably thinking I'm exaggerating, right? And I probably am...
But here's the thing... These whole ten months I've been waiting for JUMP to release a single, so I could buy it in Japan and support them. I suck at everything and I've screwed up in this country so many times it's not funny, and everyday I leave the house worrying about someone seeing my mistakes and judging me, because I'm sure it's all over my messy hair and uniform and my sleeping in class and my still-crappy Japanese. But through all that fear and loneliness, I've made it. I not only survived the ten months of my exchange, but I had an amazing time. Even though I'm still not fluent in Japanese, I know a lot more than I did, and I'm so much better. Even though I've screwed up and embarrassed myself so many times, I've done things right and been praised and even felt proud of myself. Even though I always worry people are judging me here, I've made some amazing friendships and met some of the kindest people.
I've done all of that.. and the fact that just before I leave, just a few days before I go home, JUMP releases their new single? It seems like it's beyond coincidence. It's like fate or a god something is saying to me "Well done, you deserve this reward."
So if something gets in the way, it's like fate is actually saying "You haven't done anything right and you've failed."
And I can't really see a logical reason behind me not being able to get it... because I mean, I'm even leaving school early in order to buy it before everyone. But I'm paranoid, so I can't shake the feeling.
So even though I know it might be stupid to rely on a god or fate or anything, I've done everything I can, and I have no other choice but to hope and pray to something out there D;
Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa why am I so melodramatic though....