a subject i thought i was done with, and recently figured out that i never will be. as long as i breathe, this struggle will strive to be resolved, and to no avail. i cannot be happy with myself, there is no way around it. im sick of people telling me it gets better with time, damn near 7 years have past since i first started feeling this way. ( Read more... )

well.....

....i'm back.

i havent updated in awhile, and im probably only doing so by request.  but here i am, tickling, my keyboard in the (false) hope that someone might actually read this.  i daresay my life has been much more eventful as of late, but ill leave the details to the imaginations of those who care to reconstruct my itinerary.  there is one month left until ( Read more... )

life continues to drone on with minor bumps along the way. the passing scenery is all too familiar, and the circles ive been going in are getting old. i almost did something i know i would regret, but even though im aware of the negative repercussions, if given the chance to do over, i wouldve gone right ahead with it. i question my integrity at ( Read more... )

( survey thing )

i went to the mall the other day and got my ipod and tablet, so now im totally hating doing anything that keeps me form them.  ive gotten the hang of tablet i think, its still weird though, but im diligent, and ill get it.  my ipod is 1/4 of the way full and im gonna be fixing that soon  :D  anyways, i got new macbeths and a spiffy track jacket.  ( Read more... )

i bought a new hat, and stretched my ears to 2's today.  i may or may not be a photographer for a new suicide girl, and that would make me happy.  drama sucks balls, i hate being a part of it at all.  it pisses me off when i try to help someone and they blow me off.  college isnt coming fast enough.  im feeling broken sentence-y right now.  my ( Read more... )

    so tonight i had plans to hang out with my ol' buddy sondra( who i hadnt seen in like 2 frikkin years and whom i missed dearly ), and like usual shit started to go sour as soon as it came time for me to get ready to leave.  my friend adam, who is my bff, and driver for the time being, got caught up in something and there was no way for him to ( Read more... )

in exactly 9 (nine) days, im done.  gone.  25 means GO.  graduation.  the end of my high school career, im effin done.  4 years, over.  most of which to soon be forgotten.  high school for, like so many others, was mostly dissapointing and emotionally scarring.  but its over my last final was yesterday, and it was cake.  im so gone i can taste the ( Read more... )

today is my last real day of school.  i was so pumped that i woke up early--its like 5:30, and ive been up long enough to do a load of laundry, and sort my humongous pile of dirty clothes into piles by type of clothing, and priority.  the only thing i really have to do today is take my english final bell 2, which is gonna be a breeze cause im a ( Read more... )