next in line, pt. 1 - short story
Okay, so here's an unprecedented event: I've actually been working, for a month or two, on a story with original characters. It involves the beloved Leech, as well as his previously unknown father and the father's family. It's very much a work in progress, but I'm going to post the first part here and, depending on the feedback, probably will
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Post more soon? Pleeeaassee?
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I'll probably post weekly, so as to give myself enough time to write enough to keep far ahead of myself so I'll have something to post each week. But, just for you, here's a sneak peek:
Unexpectedly, Leech speaks again - his voice is lower than ever, now, and rougher for it, but it warms Kellen all the more for that fact. "'sides, even if yer parents have given up on ya, even if ya don' got any friends you can count on, yer stuck with me. I won' ever give up on ya, and I'll always take care of you. I'll be here for ya so much you'll get sick of me, give anything to get rid of me." The last statement is somewhat humorous, in contrast to the stark seriousness of the others ( ... )
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Would you like concrit as well? sent private?
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The past tense that I use is usually something to sum up a lot of activity in a few short paragraphs - it doesn't feel right to me, to do that in present tense. I'm trying not to focus too much on one person's point of view, which is probably very confusing. I'll play around, see if I can't fix that. It is difficult NOT to jump in Leech's head now and then, though - I'm quite at home, there.
It is very useful, and I thank you immensely for giving me more than a cop-out response.
I'm trying to get together a small group of original slash fiction writers who are willing to review, critique, peer edit and support each other - it seems most original stories I write don't get near the response that my fan fiction gets, which is understandable, but disappointing. I was hoping you might want to be part of such a group. I'm waiting for feedback to see whether it's worth making a community, though. Let me know what you think about that.
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"The fuck is a Kellen?" = classic. And oh God, you have no idea how much I want Leech to be a bad influence on him (in the good way, of course...)
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and your wish may just come true, on that account.
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And, yesssssss. Of course, it really all depends on how much trouble Kellen gets into already, bwahahahaha.
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You know hows I feel about this, and its coming along damn well. I think there should be some 'moments' of Kellen's suspicions that his brother is possibly fucked up being confirmed, but thats likely coming. Its sort of unavoidable.
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of course, you've had insight to more of this than anyone else, so you know what's coming. leech is for sure possibly fucked up. but does kellen mind all that much? i think not. thanks for commenting here, although you've already shared your love with the rest of the story.
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So I really, really enjoy this. I've always enjoyed Leech as a character, because you have all the bases covered. It's like, I dunno, you have him so well established, while keeping some mystery to him, ya know? We know about his past, but we don't know every action that took place. Yeah, okay, his mom is dead and he saw her die, but what did Leech do? We don't know, as an audience member, but the way that you structure it-- we imagine it. We create our own ideas about what happened, until you prove us wrong. It's really fantastic, the way you do that, because it makes him seem Real. With a capital R, at that.
I think you're creating people, places, things, in a way that only you could. You've always had this way of making the make-believe the kinda-make-believe. Like if I were to go to Boston, I'd expect to see a pink mohawk, ya know? You get us into Leech's head, into his thoughts, without making this first person. It's really intense. We think we know what Leech's thinking, without him ever really saying ( ... )
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