。a visit

[item]

"You don't want to disappoint anyone," she says, and can feel the weight of the air when Cloud stills, perched at the end of Marlene's bed. The child is sleeping, unaware of the need to thank her visitor for a gentle brush of her hair. Tifa leans against the doorway, has been watching the whole time

Comments

[wohdin]

oh god advent children

oh god

[item]

errr is that a good or bad... comment...

[yggdrasill]

Subject matter aside (because lol, still never played ff7 or anything~), I love love love the use of the present tense here. It portrays the immediacy of the situation incredibly well. I also like the flow of the prose; not a word seems wasted. Write more. x)

[item]

I used to hate present tense, but this one roleplay I was in relied was primarily third-person logging rather than journal style, and was done all in present tense. and now I've fallen for the "now" ♥

I *should* write more agghh