Pairing #120.
Pairing: 120. Faith (Buffy/Angel)/Princess Daisy (Mario series)
Ten-minute fic at half-past two in the morning, so I really can't answer for the quality.
Once upon a time, the Koopas took over the mushroom kingdom and kidnapped Princess Daisy.
Luckily, help was at hand. The Koopas were defeated and Daisy was saved by an Italian-American plumber with an enormous moustache.
Then they came back. And the plumber defeated them again.
And again.
And again.
The inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom were not noted for their intelligence, imagination, ability to think outside the box, or fashion sense, but even they were catching on that as solutions go, the tubby little guy from Brooklyn just wasn't cutting it. They needed something a little more... radical, more effective. A new kind of hero, one for whom killing the bad guy came naturally.
Meanwhile, in another world (possibly the one from which the plumber visited), a young woman named Faith was failing to enjoy life.
She had been absolute queen badass and butt-kicker supreme of her planet. Then she found out that her predecessor was not so big on the decessing part, and then she accidentally killed a guy, and then she flipped out and turned evil for a while (in fairness, we've all been there), and killed a Vulcan (or possibly some kind of geology dude, but who makes distinctions these days?) and went to prison for a while. Of her own volition, I hasten to add. There weren't many places Faith couldn't have got out of, if she didn't mind busting a few heads along the way.
And eventually, that was what she did. But a very short time later she found out that her pre-not-so-decessor had become a lot bigger on sharing while Faith was away (as this other woman liked to oh-so-euphemistically put it), and suddenly whether or not either of them was deceased had become irrelevant, because there were lots of people like them.
For someone like Faith, having something that made her special and unique was perhaps the most important thing in life. Without it, she wasn't very happy.
On the other hand, to the fast-searching emissaries of the Mushroom Kingdom, she was fairly unique in that she A) was not a plumber, B) did not speak with a Brooklyn accent, and C) did not have a large moustache. Well, except for a fake one, but she hardly ever wore that while Slaying. Which was her job, so very probably a good thing too.
But she was sad and lonely enough to listen to the little mushroom-headed guys, and bored enough to take the time to work out what they were saying.
"So... you guys want me to kill the bad guy, rescue the princess, and save the day?"
The mushroom people confirmed that this was, indeed, what they wanted.
"Why not?"
Faith proved somewhat reluctant when it came to the actual dropping-down-a-bloody-great-pipe part of their journey, but a tactful shove from the chief emissary while she was leaning over to take a look rapidly solved that particular difficulty.
And after that, it was pretty much plain sailing. Daisy was a little unnerved at just how much of a mess Faith made while killing Bowser Koopa, but as Faith herself observed at the time sometimes you just can't make an omelette without splitting open a giant fire-breathing dragon-tortoise thing's shell and then pulling out its guts with your bare hands.
Despite the aforesaid shell, she figured it counted as a dragon. Especially as she had rescued the princess.
And, as soon as she had cleaned Bowser's guts off herself, she was happy to accept the standard reward.
... She gave the half-kingdom part back, though.
Ten-minute fic at half-past two in the morning, so I really can't answer for the quality.
Once upon a time, the Koopas took over the mushroom kingdom and kidnapped Princess Daisy.
Luckily, help was at hand. The Koopas were defeated and Daisy was saved by an Italian-American plumber with an enormous moustache.
Then they came back. And the plumber defeated them again.
And again.
And again.
The inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom were not noted for their intelligence, imagination, ability to think outside the box, or fashion sense, but even they were catching on that as solutions go, the tubby little guy from Brooklyn just wasn't cutting it. They needed something a little more... radical, more effective. A new kind of hero, one for whom killing the bad guy came naturally.
Meanwhile, in another world (possibly the one from which the plumber visited), a young woman named Faith was failing to enjoy life.
She had been absolute queen badass and butt-kicker supreme of her planet. Then she found out that her predecessor was not so big on the decessing part, and then she accidentally killed a guy, and then she flipped out and turned evil for a while (in fairness, we've all been there), and killed a Vulcan (or possibly some kind of geology dude, but who makes distinctions these days?) and went to prison for a while. Of her own volition, I hasten to add. There weren't many places Faith couldn't have got out of, if she didn't mind busting a few heads along the way.
And eventually, that was what she did. But a very short time later she found out that her pre-not-so-decessor had become a lot bigger on sharing while Faith was away (as this other woman liked to oh-so-euphemistically put it), and suddenly whether or not either of them was deceased had become irrelevant, because there were lots of people like them.
For someone like Faith, having something that made her special and unique was perhaps the most important thing in life. Without it, she wasn't very happy.
On the other hand, to the fast-searching emissaries of the Mushroom Kingdom, she was fairly unique in that she A) was not a plumber, B) did not speak with a Brooklyn accent, and C) did not have a large moustache. Well, except for a fake one, but she hardly ever wore that while Slaying. Which was her job, so very probably a good thing too.
But she was sad and lonely enough to listen to the little mushroom-headed guys, and bored enough to take the time to work out what they were saying.
"So... you guys want me to kill the bad guy, rescue the princess, and save the day?"
The mushroom people confirmed that this was, indeed, what they wanted.
"Why not?"
Faith proved somewhat reluctant when it came to the actual dropping-down-a-bloody-great-pipe part of their journey, but a tactful shove from the chief emissary while she was leaning over to take a look rapidly solved that particular difficulty.
And after that, it was pretty much plain sailing. Daisy was a little unnerved at just how much of a mess Faith made while killing Bowser Koopa, but as Faith herself observed at the time sometimes you just can't make an omelette without splitting open a giant fire-breathing dragon-tortoise thing's shell and then pulling out its guts with your bare hands.
Despite the aforesaid shell, she figured it counted as a dragon. Especially as she had rescued the princess.
And, as soon as she had cleaned Bowser's guts off herself, she was happy to accept the standard reward.
... She gave the half-kingdom part back, though.