wild horses on the way home from a night of drinking. shouldn't have driven, yet i have arrived unscathed. the rolling stones are my guardian angels
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Drunk + writing to El Jay = DANGEROUS AND SILLY.hogofheavenJuly 14 2005, 07:45:29 UTC
You and boys on roofs. What can I say.
Listen: your happiness is only contingent on other people if you LET it be. It might take some rewiring, but you CAN be happy without the explicitly-stated, full-time, no-bones-about-it romantic love of some dude. I am not crazy. This is possible.
I think it's seriously shitty that your sometime beau is so far away AND so indecisive (?), because it seemed, for a while, like you were happy with him. Believe it or not, I was glad for that. It's fucked up that he's toying with your emotions, and I can only guess how bad it hurts, but do yourself a favor and don't perpetuate old patterns. Don't go back to a routine that only runs you down and never makes you happy. Just don'tThere is no such button. No can do. And anyway, then you'd just have this vast gray space in your memory - an emptiness without the jagged edges and the soaring vistas and the everything else that happened to your brain when you loved. Erasing it would get rid of the painful parts, but you'd lose all the beautiful
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Re: Drunk + writing to El Jay = DANGEROUS AND SILLY.ithurtswhenipeeJuly 14 2005, 12:02:59 UTC
sober now.
i think i'm just jealous cause you get to go to N.J. and i never got to go to florida. i'm not jealous of her, i'm jealous of you. isn't that weird? i don't want you, i want what you have.
Problematic, yes. Bad, no.hogofheavenJuly 14 2005, 12:18:20 UTC
You're entitled to spout off. I said enough weird shit to you to last three months.
If it's any consolation, I can't really afford this trip, but I'm doing it anyway. The only reason it's possible is because I'm lucky enough to have an uncle who could afford to put money aside for my lazy, undisciplined ass. I've wasted more of that money than I care to think about. But: it's there. So I use it. It eats my guts, but I use it.
But nevermind me: don't start wasting yourself on shitty humans again. DO NOT. It hollows you out and drags you down and it makes me sick and furious to see you like that. You're too good for that shit. You've seen enough users and parasites; you know how to spot them now. Don't give them the time of day, no matter what pretty lies they tell you. You are too good to fall into that trap. DON'T DO IT.
And we all know you want me desperately, so, y'know. Come off it. It's cool, dude, I know. You and half the females on the Eastern seaboard. As I once told a girl in Boston: "Take a number."
Comments 7
Listen: your happiness is only contingent on other people if you LET it be. It might take some rewiring, but you CAN be happy without the explicitly-stated, full-time, no-bones-about-it romantic love of some dude. I am not crazy. This is possible.
I think it's seriously shitty that your sometime beau is so far away AND so indecisive (?), because it seemed, for a while, like you were happy with him. Believe it or not, I was glad for that. It's fucked up that he's toying with your emotions, and I can only guess how bad it hurts, but do yourself a favor and don't perpetuate old patterns. Don't go back to a routine that only runs you down and never makes you happy. Just don'tThere is no such button. No can do. And anyway, then you'd just have this vast gray space in your memory - an emptiness without the jagged edges and the soaring vistas and the everything else that happened to your brain when you loved. Erasing it would get rid of the painful parts, but you'd lose all the beautiful ( ... )
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i think i'm just jealous cause you get to go to N.J. and i never got to go to florida. i'm not jealous of her, i'm jealous of you. isn't that weird? i don't want you, i want what you have.
i'm such a bad friend. apologies.
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If it's any consolation, I can't really afford this trip, but I'm doing it anyway. The only reason it's possible is because I'm lucky enough to have an uncle who could afford to put money aside for my lazy, undisciplined ass. I've wasted more of that money than I care to think about. But: it's there. So I use it. It eats my guts, but I use it.
But nevermind me: don't start wasting yourself on shitty humans again. DO NOT. It hollows you out and drags you down and it makes me sick and furious to see you like that. You're too good for that shit. You've seen enough users and parasites; you know how to spot them now. Don't give them the time of day, no matter what pretty lies they tell you. You are too good to fall into that trap. DON'T DO IT.
And we all know you want me desperately, so, y'know. Come off it. It's cool, dude, I know. You and half the females on the Eastern seaboard. As I once told a girl in Boston: "Take a number."
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