[Mini-Series] House of Happy - Part 01
With all the stories coming in, I hope my muse doesn't decide to leave me again!
Here's another one, something I've had for a long time but have never really known where it was going until recently. Hope you enjoy!
Title: House of Happy
Pairing: OT5
Genre: Angst, Drama, General
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Psychological problems, possible disturbing images
Summery: Every one has problems
Changmin hates that his parents are kicking him out of the house. He thinks they should burn in hell for being the worst parents in the world, he didn't mean to set his room on fire, it just happened. The candle just happened to fall into a wastebasket of mostly crumpled papers and he just happened to leave the room for five minutes to make some food. He didn't know it would go up in flames the way it had. It had all been an accident.
"We're tired of this, Changmin. You're out of control," his mother weeps against his father's shoulder, trying her best to think of the rest of the family.
The man he calls father looks at him with bitter stern eyes and hugs his mother close, lips ready to scream, but he doesn't. It's a cold silence that sends chills down his back and the grasp on his suitcase tightens when he knows and completely understands that he's no longer wanted.
"Tell my sisters I love them," Changmin says stoically and turns away.
"Changmin," his mother calls out, her voice desperate and painful, it creates a pain in his chest he tries to push away. "We're sorry," she touches his shoulder but he shrugs it off and starts walking, leaving them behind, his world, his life, the family he loves more than anything in the world.
If only he could stop, if only he could be good for them, then they would want him to stay, but he can't.
He can’t.
The city is a far colder place than he ever really could understand. People look at him weird; he thinks some of them want to steal the only thing he has left in the world, his bag. He holds onto it tight and when someone tries to grab it out of his grasp he punches them to the ground and pulls out his knife, crouching over his chest, edge close against his skin.
"Still think it's a good idea?" he growls.
The nameless boy's eyes are wide and full of fear; he remembers the same look on his ex girlfriend's face when he had her smashed against the wall, fist inches from her cheek. He apologized but she threw him out and moved away, when he tried to call her she changed her number and he never saw her again.
"I'm sorry," he breathes, wincing as the pressure increases the moment his neck relaxes.
Changmin's eyes glare fire red, "You were trying to steal from me, you motherfucker," he presses down and hears the scared gasp that escapes past trembling lips, sees a small tear of blood slide from the sharp edge.
When he starts crying he pulls the knife away and stands up, staring down at him with disgust. "If I see you again, I'll kill you," he warns and keeps walking, pushing past the curious spectators in the middle of the busiest street in town.
He sees a flash of police warning and ducks into the nearest door, a coffee shop and hides the knife in his pocket.
"What can I get you?"
Changmin looks up and sees a good looking employee he thinks may be a guy but is pretty enough to be a girl, he can't tell. "Whatever's good," he mutters and slumps his head onto the counter top with a weighted sigh.
"Bad night?" the he-she asks and Changmin nods, "Have some cake," the voice is soothing and repugnantly cheerful, "cake makes people happy."
"Do I look like I deserve to be happy?" He lifts his head slightly to read the name tag. Jaejoong, it's a guy.
Jaejoong smiles through beautiful puckered lips and sparkling eyes, "Everyone deserves to be happy," he places the plate of rich chocolate in front of him. "Enjoy," and winks before tending to the other patrons who look a lot happier and much nicer than him.
When he takes a bite, he remembers life wasn't always this hard.
Six hours, three pieces of cake and five cups of coffee later, the need to pee is so bad he can taste it. He wants to take his bag with him but decides if he carries it the pressure to hold on will loosen his bladder into a world of embarrassment and he rushes to the bathroom, leaving it behind, hidden unsuccessfully behind his swivel barstool.
As he dries his hands on his jeans he walks into semi-darkness, no one around, the faint sounds of laughter in the kitchen is the only noise. The plates on the counter are gone, a soft glisten of water swipes where his chair is empty. He looks around the room and doesn't really know what to do. He didn't pay.
"Oh, I thought you left," Jaejoong's appears, his uniform hanging over his arm, dressed in a white t-shirt and fitted jeans that leave nothing to the imagination, if he cared for that sort of thing.
Changmin pulls his wallet out of his pocket, "I didn't pay," he says and Jaejoong smiles at him again, and again it's beautiful and he wishes he were a girl.
Jaejoong waves his hand with a laugh, "That's ok."
He pulls out a bill, more than enough and grabs his bag in one hand and extends the money in the other. "Thank you for the cake," he presses it into Jaejoong's palm and turns away quickly when Jaejoong's eyes fall upon the bag clutched in his hand.
Before he's out the door Jaejoong stops him, "You've got a place to stay?" he asks sympathetically and Changmin shakes his head.
He doesn't have a home anymore. Eating cake made him forget.
After a few seconds Changmin hears the rattling of keys and feels a warm hand curve around his arm, "You can stay with me," when he smiles Changmin doesn't care he isn't a girl and smiles back when his heart tells him he'll be ok, even for one night.
Changmin's grateful Jaejoong doesn't ask him any questions as they walk the empty street. Instead, he sings to him, laughing every couple of minutes when he can't remember the next lyric.
"You have a good voice," Changmin tells him on a dark corner as the lamppost light flickers above them like a strobe light.
He sings the rest of the way while Changmin listens and tries to forget he can't go home anymore.
After about ten minutes they reach the apartment, a seedy building tucked into a bad part of town, Changmin's never been to. Jaejoong digs into his pocket and pulls out his keys, lifting his hands to the light in search of the right one. Together they walk down a dim hallway to the elevator that has an "Out of Order " sign taped to the door.
"God, I hate this place," he mutters and throws open the door to the right of them with an irritated shove and reveals an eerily dark stairwell.
After four flights of stairs Changmin feels out of breath, dragging his bag behind him.
Jaejoong stops. "Let me carry it," he turns and outstretches his hand for the bag. "It's another five flights."
Changmin hesitates, it's not for fear if he tried to run away with it, he couldn't catch him but it holds his only passions in the world. It's a bit scary to see it entrusted in a pair of hands he doesn't know.
He can see the understanding in Jaejoong's eyes when he doesn't give it to him and he nods. By the time they reach the final floor, his breathing is short and wheezy and he hates himself for refusing the help once offered to him. He thinks, as the bag that now seems to weigh a ton, drags unceremoniously along the filth ridden carpet, he's an idiot and he may possibly die of over exhaustion.
"Here we are," Jaejoong smiles and inserts his key, before he opens the door he places a hand on Changmin's shoulder, "I have a tendency to act without thinking," he smiles helplessly but becomes very serious after a few moments. "Will I regret bringing you here?" he asks, eyes locked in unknowing and premature trust.
Changmin thinks it's a little late to ask that kind of question when they're one step away from entering his apartment; if he were the kind to pillage and destroy all in his path, nothing could stop him now… but he's not and he shakes his head. "I just need a place to crash," he answers him and when Jaejoong's pretty mouth curves into a gentle smile Changmin wonders how often he's had to ask that and thinks it's sad he has to at all.
The apartment is quite spacious; the living room is open with beaten couches and a large television against the wall; there's an organized, monstrous array of CDs and DVDs beside the television in a black bookcase, with no books. He can see different game consoles scattered unruly about and a cloud of something pungent wafts in the air that stick to his lungs. He hasn't smelled it in years.
Jaejoong closes the door behind him and grabs his free hand, which makes Changmin jerk a little, but the smile in his eyes eases the tension. "Let me show you where you can sleep," he ushers him through the living room, into a dark hallway and into a room with two beds, one empty, the other filled with a mountain of clothes. Changmin watches Jaejoong shove the clothes into a pile between the two beds.
"It's clean, a little uncomfortable, but you get used to it after awhile," Jaejoong says as he walks to the closet and pulls out new sheets and a blanket. "It gets cold, so you'll probably need this," he hands them over and Changmin places his bag on the bed, taking the linens.
"Thank you," Changmin looks at him and Jaejoong's eyes are far more brilliant than any star in the night sky.
He pats his shoulder and walks towards the door, "if you'd like, I'm going to make some food and you're welcome to join us."
"Us?" Changmin turns around.
He nods, "I've got a few roommates," he grins and then closes the door to give him some privacy.
Changmin tosses the linens on the bed and takes a seat. He looks around the room, the floor is clean, the walls are painted a dull blue and there are no pictures. He sees a keyboard in the corner standing on a hilt and there's a dresser, the top filled with colognes and empty packs of cigarettes. It doesn't smell like smoke in the room.
When he's finished making his bed he walks out and hears voices coming from the living room.
"I think someone was following me."
"Yunho, no one was following you."
"I swear to god, someone was. I promise this time."
Changmin walks around the corner and at the table he sees a face he doesn't know and Jaejoong in the kitchen stirring a pot on the stove.
"Who are you?" the man at the table asks and eyes him cautiously, he's handsome with a small face and dark fluffy hair that hangs to his shoulders.
Jaejoong looks up at Changmin and gives him a wink. "Yunho, his name is Changmin. Don't be rude," he warns and Yunho turns back to Changmin as he stands by the wall, eyeing him curiously up and down. He looks into his eyes and Changmin stares back at him without a word. After a few moments Yunho returns his attention to Jaejoong.
"I think my parents are paying someone to follow me," he continues with his story and Changmin walks to the kitchen to be closer to someone he knows, even if he doesn't really know him.
Jaejoong hands him a spoon and asks him to stir the contents of the pot that look like some kind of soup and it smells delicious as his stomach roars with hunger for something more than just the cake he ate earlier.
Then he walks around him and to the table where Yunho keeps his eyes on him. Following him until Jaejoong is standing in front of him and Yunho is hidden.
"Then I'll protect you," he says so softly Changmin has to strain to hear and then Jaejoong is kissing Yunho and Yunho's hands are clutching at the back of his shirt desperately. Changmin flushes and looks back at the soup in time to hear the door open and two new voices arrive in blasting entrance.
"Who's the stray?" Is the first thing he hears.
"Who's that?" Is the second.
"Changmin," Yunho's voice answers and Jaejoong is back in the kitchen standing behind him, looking over his shoulder and it reminds him of his mother. His mother who kicked him out and that's why he's here, in an apartment he doesn't know, with people he doesn't know and someone who thinks he's being followed.
"Yoochun, Junsu, this is Changmin," Jaejoong introduces. "My other roommates," Jaejoong grins and offers to take over.
"You're cute," the one he thinks is named Yoochun grins slickly at him and Changmin's finger curves around the knife hidden in his pants.
"Where is he sleeping?" the one, who must then be named Junsu, takes a seat beside Yunho and starts playing with the ends of his hair. He sounds nervous and Changmin wonders what he's gotten himself into.
"With Yoochun," Jaejoong answers as he grabs plates. "Someone come help me," he asks and Yunho gets up from the table quickly, Changmin watches as Junsu's eyes follow him and it feels like Yoochun is staring at him. When he turns his head, he is and it's dark with something that makes him think he'll be sleeping with his knife under his pillow.
"So, what's your story?" Yoochun asks at the table, their bowls empty and Changmin's stomach feeling full after his second serving. He looks at him and doesn't say anything. Yoochun looks at Jaejoong when the silence is too long. "Does he know how to talk?" he asks quite seriously and Changmin narrows his eyes completely offended.
"Yes, I can talk," he speaks and realizes it's the first time since he walked in on Yunho and Jaejoong. "I don't have a story," he says and Yoochun smirks.
"Jaejoong has an innate way of sniffing out troubled youth," Yoochun speaks and Changmin glances at Jaejoong who's rubbing Junsu's shoulder and he kind of smiles in a way that validates Yoochun's point. Changmin has never really thought he was a troubled youth though his parents didn't kick him out because he was a good role model. There was the drinking, the drugs, the fights, the night he broke into someone's car and crashed it into the park.
And the fires.
His best friend.
He remembers his best friend passed out on the floor too high to move when the smoke started choking them. If he hadn't been so drunk, hadn't been so strung out, he could've saved him.
But he didn't and now someone is dead.
He doesn't even know how he managed to save himself.
"Yoochun, leave him alone," Jaejoong's voice pierces through his memories and he's back in an unfamiliar apartment with people who don't know who he is and what he's done. "Changmin, help me clear the table," Jaejoong asks nicely and he nods getting to his feet making sure to ignore Yoochun completely.
Changmin lies in bed, looking at the ceiling, eyes wide open, void of sleep or anything that could possibly make him sleep. There's a soft glow coming from his left and he turns his head, Yoochun is on his computer, typing furiously away at the keys. He doesn't say anything; he just watches him and blinks slowly, before turning back to the ceiling that has a large crack right above his head.
He wonders if his mother is thinking about him, if she's crying that they kicked him out. If she's going to call and beg him to come back home.
He thinks it's wishful thinking.
Changmin remembers the look in his father's eyes. It held years of pent up frustration, exhaustion, anger, he looked tired and there was a power in his intense stare that let Changmin know, he was never welcomed back.
He has nowhere else to go.
His friends always joked he could stay with them but since the fire… he sort of lost contact with the remaining people who didn't think he was completely crazy. If they were unwilling to give him one night of shelter, the possibility of allowing him to stay with them was even less likely.
Changmin sighs and looks out the window.
It's hitting him.
He has no one and although he lies in a warm bed, Changmin doesn't presume to think Jaejoong's kindness will extend further than one night. In the morning he should start looking for a place to stay, though he doesn't have much money and it may be possible to rent a cheap motel room for a few nights but without a job and no further income filling his wallet, Changmin worries when he'll have to start sleeping on the streets, like the people he's always despised.
The streets were for people who were lazy, addicts who's goal in life was to get high, who's ambition is lost in the suffocating fog of failure.
"Your heavy sighs are rather distracting."
Changmin turns his head back to his left and finds Yoochun looking at him, his hands hovering over the keyboard and he looks slightly agitated but more so curious.
"I'm sorry," Changmin sighs again and looks back up at the ceiling, sliding his hands under his head.
He would really like to sleep if it weren't for the unsettling reality racing through his frenzied mind.
Yoochun doesn't say anything but Changmin can feel his eyes still. After a few minutes of continuous typing the soft glow fades away and Changmin let his eyes wonder over to him, listens as the blankets shift and he slides down with a quiet groan.
"Something on your mind?" Yoochun asks suddenly into the darkness and Changmin curls his fingers around his hair before relaxing them against his scalp.
"I should sleep," Changmin answers and turns onto his side, pulling the covers over his shoulders, "you probably should too."
But Yoochun doesn't.
In fact he continues to speak. "My parents used to sell me to wealthy businessmen when they couldn't afford to pay the bills," Yoochun confesses easily.
Changmin clenches his eyes shut at the sound of his voice.
There is no emotion, like casual conversation, like it's normal to talk about such things with a stranger. "I'm sorry," he mutters and hopes it will be the end, though his heart is beating like a war drum against his chest.
He can hear Yoochun shift, "oh, it's ok," he proceeds to speak with the same ease, "it wasn't so bad, I was usually drunk and more often than not passed out," he admits.
Changmin clutches at his blankets and breathes in and out of his mouth.
"I finally ran away but then I had nowhere to go so I ended up doing what my parents did to me for so long," he keeps talking.
Changmin turns on his stomach and buries his face in his pillow.
"When Jaejoong found me I was getting ready to jump into the Han River, so fucking high I thought I could fly."
Changmin groans as he pulls himself up on his hands and looks over at Yoochun's dark silhouette, broken in slivered moonlight that spills from the window. "Why are you telling me this?" he questions.
He can see Yoochun sit up, the blankets bunched around his waist. He doesn't answer immediately and Changmin thinks it's worse.
"Because sometimes it's easier to talk when you know you're not the only one with problems," Yoochun answers and slides back down onto the bed with a silent plop of his pillow and a ruffle of his blankets.
Changmin bows his head; he preferred the silence and slowly lowers himself back onto his chest. "I’m going to sleep now," he says after a few seconds of nothing and he closes his eyes.
"Goodnight, Changmin," Yoochun says and turns around. "Sweet dreams."
Changmin opens his eyes and stares at his pale back.
He can't remember the last time someone said that to him.
He's surrounded in fire, it licks the bottom of his shoes but he can't feel it. He watches horrified as the flames consume his legs, when he tries to move he can't. When he looks around for help all he sees is vivid colors of red and yellow, orange waves rolling up along the walls and in the corner a body, flames moving in like demons.
When he tries to scream black smoke pours from his mouth.
Changmin wakes up to hands gripping his shoulders, when he opens his eyes the lamp is on and Yoochun looks worried. His throat is raw and he thinks he can taste blood against his tongue when he swallows.
"You were screaming," Yoochun tells him, his eyes wide, with something that comes off a little scared. He looks shaken and pale against the harsh light.
Changmin looks down at himself, his t-shirt is soaked through and his skin feels like it's burning. Yoochun doesn't move and keeps looking at him questionably, for answers. He wipes at his forehead and sighs, closing his eyes for a moment to breath and hesitates for a second, he remembers the black smoke and when he takes a deep breath it's clean.
"You kept calling out a name," Yoochun's grip relaxes around his shoulders and Changmin look into his eyes.
"You can let me go," he replies and rolls his shoulders when he feels the fingers leave him but he thinks he may have left imprints against his skin.
Yoochun falls back onto the bed and keeps looking at him until Changmin throws the covers off and grabs for his bag. He should get out of the shirt. Yoochun's eyes follow him until he's out of the room and Changmin is enveloped by darkness as he walks to the bathroom. His legs wobble uneasily and he bumps into something that sends a shooting pain through his foot when he flips the bathroom light on.
It's a small bathroom, a sink and shower, a toilet and a mirror. When he sees his reflection his skin is swallow, eyes weak and tears of sweat sprinkle against his neck.
Changmin turns on the cold water and wipes his face down, runs cool water along his neck, slides damp fingers through his hair, he drinks some before he turns it off and looks back at his reflection, it hasn't changed. He looks like he just woke up from a nightmare and he turns away, pulls off the wet t-shirt and slides into the dry cotton that feels cool against his skin.
Yoochun is still sitting on his bed and Changmin returns and closes the door behind him.
"Everything ok?" he asks and continues to watch him until he's back under the covers and all they're doing is staring at each other.
Yoochun who has eyes that seem far older than his years, who's experienced far more than Changmin has and he doesn't even know him.
"I'm fine," he mutters and lies down, closing his eyes, trying to breathe normal. Trying to slow down his beating heart. Yoochun finally climbs off when it's clear Changmin is not going to talk about it and turns the light off.
Changmin rolls onto his side prepared to get through the night when he feels the blankets lift and the bed dips. He turns questionably as the beating freezes against his chest and his breath catches in his throat.
"Move over," Yoochun instructs and Changmin lies paralyzed when he feels the warmth of Yoochun's skin against his arm.
"What are you doing?" he chokes and sits up. He can feel Yoochun settle down beside him.
"When I have nightmares it always helps me sleep better with someone else in the bed," Yoochun explains and physically pulls Changmin back down to the bed.
Changmin moves clear across the mattress and wonders if he should push Yoochun over the edge. He can't remember the last time he slept beside someone else.
He doesn't even know Yoochun.
He tugs at the blankets and hopes he won't roll off the side and find himself on the floor in the morning with a bump on his head.
When he feels a warm hand skirting along his arm, pulling him tight against his chest Changmin stills and pulls the fingers from his skin. "If I feel anything… unnatural, I'll cut you," Changmin warns but Yoochun laughs deep in his throat and keeps away.
"I believe you," he chuckles and Changmin thinks maybe he should've slept with the knife under his pillow.
In the morning Yoochun is gone and it's warm where he slept. Changmin sighs against his pillow and opens his eyes. A digital clock tells him it's almost eight and he turns away, closing his eyes again.
Just a few more minutes of sleep.
The smell's amazing, like Sunday mornings at home when his mother makes the family breakfast. Changmin attempts to comb down his wild bed head and walks sluggishly into the living room. Yunho and Junsu are sitting on the couch, Yunho is reading and Junsu is playing a video game. Jaejoong is in the kitchen and when he looks for Yoochun, he's nowhere in sight.
"Good morning," Jaejoong smiles cheerfully in his elephant pajamas while he flips hot cakes in a cast-iron skillet.
Changmin manages a smile and walks into the kitchen to see if he can be of any help, it's the least he can do. Jaejoong hands him eggs to crack in a bowl to scramble.
"How did you sleep?" Jaejoong asks, checking on the sizzling meat. When he looks at him he's bright, far too awake and Changmin stirs the eggs easily in the bowl.
"Fine," he answers and when it seem like his efforts are futile Jaejoong takes over with a thankful smile. So he leans against the counter and watches him move gracefully around the kitchen. "Thank you again, for letting me stay here," Changmin scratches his cheek and hands him the milk.
"Do you have a job?" Jaejoong asks, pointing to the plate on the counter beside Changmin. He hands it over and shakes his head.
"I need to look," he answers and his stomach grumbles hungrily as the hotcakes are piled high on the plate, in perfect circles he's only seen in restaurants. "I uh… I should leave soon," he flushes when his stomach cries out again.
"We could use some help at the café," Jaejoong says while he points to another plate and Changmin watches as he slides the breakfast meat neatly in a row. "It doesn't pay much, but the tips are really good," he smiles and gently nudges Changmin out of the kitchen. "After breakfast we'll talk more," he says and sends him off with two plates of food, "Yunho, Junsu, come eat."
Jaejoong puts him in the front but when Changmin almost punches a customer for complaining about Jaejoong's service for the second time, Jaejoong drags him back into the kitchen.
"Although I'm flattered," he laughs and pats Changmin's shoulder kindly, "you can't beat up customers."
Changmin sneers and starts to walk back out when he hears said customer going off again, until he feels a strong pull back of strength, "I'm going to kick his ass," Changmin tells Jaejoong who's blushing behind his beautiful smile.
"Do you know how to cook?" he asks and waves JiHoo over to them.
Changmin looks at him then back at Jaejoong, "I'm a quick learner," he answers and it seems sufficient enough for Jaejoong who grabs an extra apron from the wall hanging and tosses it to Changmin.
"JiHoo will show you the menu; it's not difficult, just a few sandwiches and salads. Shouldn't be hard to pick up," he says and moves to leave.
While Changmin is tying a knot he feels warm arms wrap around him from behind. "Thank you, Changmin," Jaejoong whispers and walks away before he can respond.
On the walk back to the apartment Changmin doesn't say much, his shoulders ache; his feet feel like they could possibly be on fire and he's quite positive he smells like the spicy dressing he spilled all over himself earlier in the day.
"You haven't worked a day in your life have you?" Jaejoong asks him while they wait at a stoplight, cars pass them by and he thinks he hears a few whistles from a group of girls in a taxi. Jaejoong ignores them and Changmin does the same.
"Never had to," he answers as they cross and tucks his hands into his pockets.
Jaejoong nods and starts to hum after a few moments.
He remembers he never really thanked him for the job, nor did he thank him for giving him a permanent place to stay. He's never really known how to show much appreciation before.
"Ah," Changmin bites his lip and looks at the ground, the broken glass glitters against the artificial light, "Thank you for, you know," he scratches his neck and looks over at Jaejoong who's still humming, holding a piece of cheese cake in his right hand. "For giving me a job, a place to stay," he finishes and turns away a little embarrassed.
He's never known someone to show such kindness to a complete stranger. Changmin never thought people like Jaejoong existed, at least not in his world of extravagance and wealth.
When he feels an arm wrap around his shoulders and a light pressure against his side he smiles to himself and ducks his head.
"I'm glad you came into the shop last night," Jaejoong grins and let's his hand slide off his shoulder after a few seconds, falling into step again, "and you seemed to have passed the test," he adds vaguely enough to peak Changmin's interest of further explanation.
"Test?"
Jaejoong laughs, "The guys seem to like you," he explains and grabs his elbows, pulling him aside to avoid what looks like vomit on the cement. "They are excellent judges of character," he adds and starts to hum again.
Changmin thinks of Yunho who seems a little weird despite how normal he looks. Junsu laughs a lot and it's loud and sometimes obnoxious but behind the exuberant noise comes a sadness in his eyes that seems far deeper than he shows. And Yoochun, Changmin remembers their conversation in the room, remembers how he helped him recover from the night mare. Yoochun who seems to be the most outspoken holds memories so dark even Changmin can't imagine them.
He doesn't have to ask to know Jaejoong knows all about Yoochun. Jaejoong probably knows Yoochun more than anyone else does and who could blame him. From the moment he stepped into the shop, hiding from potential arrest Jaejoong was the first face he saw, gave him what he needed to take his mind off his parents, off the loss of his comfortable life. Jaejoong gave him a place to stay when he didn't have one and now he's given him a job.
He doesn't even know him.
He thinks he may possibly owe Jaejoong his life.
When they near the apartment complex Changmin watches the wisps of cold air that float from his lips and shivers. He wants to tuck himself into bed and sleep through the night. A part of him worries he'll wake up again, fears the nightmares that seem to haunt him now more than ever.
Then Yoochun pops into his mind, so easily.
He hasn't seen him all day.
He wonders what kind of night mares Yoochun has. Changmin can only imagine them and when he starts to he shakes his head earnestly. He doesn't want to think about it, no one should have too.
Jaejoong touches his arm lightly as he pulls his keys out. "You ok?" he asks and slides the key in, opening the door for the both of them. "You look rather… unsettled," he offers a gentle squeeze and Changmin manages a weak smile.
"Just thinking," he lies, but not completely because he was thinking of Yoochun and what he told him. "Yoochun," he speaks before he can stop himself and Jaejoong holds the door open, watching him closely as he passes and they head for the elevator that should be working since it was working earlier when they left.
"What about Yoochun?" Jaejoong asks with comforting eyes and presses the button that sends the doors opening with a loud buzz rather than the normal ding.
When Changmin can't find the words to adequately explain his concerns he blurts out unexpected words. "He told me," he says and immediately regrets it because Jaejoong tilts his head to the side but his eyes know exactly what Changmin is talking about.
"Ah," he nods after a few moments and the elevator doors close, sending the car jerking upwards in a slow, sluggish motion. "Forgive him," he pats Changmin's shoulder in comfort. "Yoochun's, quite," it looks like he's considering his words carefully, "he. He doesn't have a filter sometimes."
Changmin look at him and from the little time they've spent together, he believes Jaejoong. "It's just," he sighs trying not to think about it but finds it rather difficult, "I don't know, he doesn't really know me."
It looks like it makes sense to Jaejoong, but Jaejoong seems to run on faith, not too many people would do what he's done for him and it's truly admirable. "Last night when Yoochun asked about you, he wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable," Jaejoong holds onto the railing of the wall, settling against it while they surge upward, "but he's right, Changmin, there's always a story. Yoochun chooses to share his pretty willingly."
Maybe a little too willingly, Changmin thinks and worries his teeth over his lip. He wonders what else Yoochun may confess.
He wonders when he'll tell his own story.
When they reach the top floor Changmin holds the elevator doors open for Jaejoong to pass and the jingle of his keys rings like bells in the silent hallway.
Jaejoong turns to him and offers a kind smile that makes Changmin feel a little too grateful to witness it, "Don't let Yoochun bother you, his intentions are in the right place," he says it like a promise and Changmin nods.
The door flies open before Jaejoong unlocks it and Junsu is shaking, his eyes wide and horrified. "It's Yunho," he grabs Jaejoong roughly and presses against him, arms like crushing tentacles and Changmin steps back alarmed.
Jaejoong, on the other hand calmly hands the cheesecake to Changmin then begins sweeping his hands up and down Junsu's shivering body, murmuring into his ear, smoothing his hair, placating his emotions. "Calm down, Junsu," he brushes the back of his hand along his cheek and kisses him softly on the mouth. "Where's Yunho?" he pulls away and Junsu's shoulders relax and he's grasping his hand. "What happened?"
Changmin watches in fascination, though his heart is raging erratically in his chest, pressing himself against the wall while Junsu points with a shaking hand.
"I don't know. He just, he was freaking out and then-" Junsu buries his face in Jaejoong's neck and they walk slowly together towards the couch, around Changmin and sit down. "He started screaming and throwing things. In the room, Jaejoong," Junsu talks incoherently and shakes his head, they all hear a loud, pained scream and Jaejoong looks towards the bedrooms, Junsu pales with frightened eyes and Changmin thinks it sounded like an animal.
"Stay here," he cajoles Junsu with reassurance and kisses him one more time.
Changmin watches a little horrified as Jaejoong walks around the couch with steady footsteps and he wonders if his heart is beating as hard and fast as his own. They meet eyes for a brief moment and he smiles sadly, "everyone has a story," he tells him and disappears down the hall.
Changmin looks at Junsu.
Junsu looks at Changmin. He still looks upset and Changmin doesn't really know what to do about it. He has no idea. "Do you-" he takes a few calming breaths while Junsu looks at him a little too expectantly, "do you want something to drink?" he asks and Junsu nods.
"Something warm would be nice," Junsu allows himself a smile but it's still racked with worry as his eyes bounce between Changmin and the hallway. They can hear Jaejoong and Yunho in the room, Yunho's screaming at him about people watching him, following him, trying to kidnap him and Changmin doesn't want to pry any longer.
"Come on," he reaches out for Junsu and when the warmth of his hand slides in they walk towards the kitchen together.
Changmin doesn't know where anything is but with help from Junsu they get a pot of boiling water on the stove and ready two mugs with tea bags on the counter.
"It freaks me out," Junsu starts talking after awhile and crosses his arms over his chest, looking down at the floor. He still looks rather upset. "He just-he goes crazy sometimes," he says and Changmin pulls the pot off the stove once it starts to whistle and pours the hot water into the cups.
"I'm sorry," Changmin offers because he doesn't know what else to say as he hands him the steaming mug. "I don't know," he shrugs and Junsu nods solemnly.
"You will," he looks at him and it's almost like he's sorry. "Soon you'll know everything," he holds the mug between his hands and blows into the tea, "about everyone," he adds and starts walking away. Before he leaves him completely he takes a deep breath. "Thank you for the tea," he says and Changmin nods grabbing his own cup and walks away, leaving Junsu on the couch.
On his way to his room Changmin passes an open door and he can see Yunho crouched on the floor rocking back and forth, Jaejoong is hovering over him and whispering and the room is in complete shambles, broken glass, ripped bed linens and the carpet is wet.
He knows he shouldn't be watching them and after a few moments he moves on, closing the door quietly and heads to his own room.
Yoochun is the first thing he sees; he's stretched out on the bed, reading a book and has glasses on.
He smiles when they meet eyes.
"You're home," he sets the book on his lap and watches him curiously while Changmin moves to his bed, setting the cup on the nightstand between their mattresses. "Did you miss me?" he asks after a while and Changmin glares at him, far too aloof when there's an apparent emergency just down the hall.
"Shut up," Changmin mutters and takes off his jacket.
Jaejoong pops his head in a few seconds later and looks in Yoochun's direction. "Do you have any sedatives?" he asks him and opens the door wide, walking through.
Yoochun nods and reaches over, into the night stand, tossing a pill bottle at Jaejoong. "They're strong, be careful," he warns and Jaejoong nods gratefully, looking at Changmin before he leaves.
"You okay?" he asks and Changmin nods.
"Just a little freaked out but ok," he tells him.
Jaejoong turns to Yoochun before he leaves, "and you, try and be a little more helpful next time."
Yoochun lets out an exasperated sigh, "he wanted you. When I walked in he almost took my head off," he informs but when Jaejoong glares he has the decency to look ashamed. "I'll try harder next time," he promises and Jaejoong looks grateful.
Changmin watches the verbal exchange in silence while he sips at his tea, forcing himself to relax despite the unnerving situation.
"Will you pick up his prescription tomorrow?"
"Of course," Yoochun nods and then Jaejoong leaves them.
Changmin looks at Yoochun. "What's wrong with him?" he asks softly and Yoochun, who looks a little dazed, turns to him.
"Ah, Yunho," he takes his book and throws it on the floor, sliding down into bed. "He's paranoid," he tells him and props his head on his hand. "It's not always so bad, he takes medicine to pacify the delusions but when he's out, it can get scary," Yoochun reveals and doesn't say anymore.
Changmin thinks back on the conversation in the elevator. He remembers what Yoochun said at dinner the night before. He considers very carefully the next words that leave his mouth. "Does everyone here have problems?" he asks, wondering if maybe it wasn't a coincidence that he walked into Jaejoong's shop but perhaps he was meant to.
Yoochun smiles easily and it confirms a worry that's been plaguing Changmin most of his life. "Everyone has problems," he says slowly and he slides under the covers. "Ours are just a little worse."
| 02 |
[Master Fic List]
Here's another one, something I've had for a long time but have never really known where it was going until recently. Hope you enjoy!
Title: House of Happy
Pairing: OT5
Genre: Angst, Drama, General
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Psychological problems, possible disturbing images
Summery: Every one has problems
Changmin hates that his parents are kicking him out of the house. He thinks they should burn in hell for being the worst parents in the world, he didn't mean to set his room on fire, it just happened. The candle just happened to fall into a wastebasket of mostly crumpled papers and he just happened to leave the room for five minutes to make some food. He didn't know it would go up in flames the way it had. It had all been an accident.
"We're tired of this, Changmin. You're out of control," his mother weeps against his father's shoulder, trying her best to think of the rest of the family.
The man he calls father looks at him with bitter stern eyes and hugs his mother close, lips ready to scream, but he doesn't. It's a cold silence that sends chills down his back and the grasp on his suitcase tightens when he knows and completely understands that he's no longer wanted.
"Tell my sisters I love them," Changmin says stoically and turns away.
"Changmin," his mother calls out, her voice desperate and painful, it creates a pain in his chest he tries to push away. "We're sorry," she touches his shoulder but he shrugs it off and starts walking, leaving them behind, his world, his life, the family he loves more than anything in the world.
If only he could stop, if only he could be good for them, then they would want him to stay, but he can't.
He can’t.
The city is a far colder place than he ever really could understand. People look at him weird; he thinks some of them want to steal the only thing he has left in the world, his bag. He holds onto it tight and when someone tries to grab it out of his grasp he punches them to the ground and pulls out his knife, crouching over his chest, edge close against his skin.
"Still think it's a good idea?" he growls.
The nameless boy's eyes are wide and full of fear; he remembers the same look on his ex girlfriend's face when he had her smashed against the wall, fist inches from her cheek. He apologized but she threw him out and moved away, when he tried to call her she changed her number and he never saw her again.
"I'm sorry," he breathes, wincing as the pressure increases the moment his neck relaxes.
Changmin's eyes glare fire red, "You were trying to steal from me, you motherfucker," he presses down and hears the scared gasp that escapes past trembling lips, sees a small tear of blood slide from the sharp edge.
When he starts crying he pulls the knife away and stands up, staring down at him with disgust. "If I see you again, I'll kill you," he warns and keeps walking, pushing past the curious spectators in the middle of the busiest street in town.
He sees a flash of police warning and ducks into the nearest door, a coffee shop and hides the knife in his pocket.
"What can I get you?"
Changmin looks up and sees a good looking employee he thinks may be a guy but is pretty enough to be a girl, he can't tell. "Whatever's good," he mutters and slumps his head onto the counter top with a weighted sigh.
"Bad night?" the he-she asks and Changmin nods, "Have some cake," the voice is soothing and repugnantly cheerful, "cake makes people happy."
"Do I look like I deserve to be happy?" He lifts his head slightly to read the name tag. Jaejoong, it's a guy.
Jaejoong smiles through beautiful puckered lips and sparkling eyes, "Everyone deserves to be happy," he places the plate of rich chocolate in front of him. "Enjoy," and winks before tending to the other patrons who look a lot happier and much nicer than him.
When he takes a bite, he remembers life wasn't always this hard.
Six hours, three pieces of cake and five cups of coffee later, the need to pee is so bad he can taste it. He wants to take his bag with him but decides if he carries it the pressure to hold on will loosen his bladder into a world of embarrassment and he rushes to the bathroom, leaving it behind, hidden unsuccessfully behind his swivel barstool.
As he dries his hands on his jeans he walks into semi-darkness, no one around, the faint sounds of laughter in the kitchen is the only noise. The plates on the counter are gone, a soft glisten of water swipes where his chair is empty. He looks around the room and doesn't really know what to do. He didn't pay.
"Oh, I thought you left," Jaejoong's appears, his uniform hanging over his arm, dressed in a white t-shirt and fitted jeans that leave nothing to the imagination, if he cared for that sort of thing.
Changmin pulls his wallet out of his pocket, "I didn't pay," he says and Jaejoong smiles at him again, and again it's beautiful and he wishes he were a girl.
Jaejoong waves his hand with a laugh, "That's ok."
He pulls out a bill, more than enough and grabs his bag in one hand and extends the money in the other. "Thank you for the cake," he presses it into Jaejoong's palm and turns away quickly when Jaejoong's eyes fall upon the bag clutched in his hand.
Before he's out the door Jaejoong stops him, "You've got a place to stay?" he asks sympathetically and Changmin shakes his head.
He doesn't have a home anymore. Eating cake made him forget.
After a few seconds Changmin hears the rattling of keys and feels a warm hand curve around his arm, "You can stay with me," when he smiles Changmin doesn't care he isn't a girl and smiles back when his heart tells him he'll be ok, even for one night.
Changmin's grateful Jaejoong doesn't ask him any questions as they walk the empty street. Instead, he sings to him, laughing every couple of minutes when he can't remember the next lyric.
"You have a good voice," Changmin tells him on a dark corner as the lamppost light flickers above them like a strobe light.
He sings the rest of the way while Changmin listens and tries to forget he can't go home anymore.
After about ten minutes they reach the apartment, a seedy building tucked into a bad part of town, Changmin's never been to. Jaejoong digs into his pocket and pulls out his keys, lifting his hands to the light in search of the right one. Together they walk down a dim hallway to the elevator that has an "Out of Order " sign taped to the door.
"God, I hate this place," he mutters and throws open the door to the right of them with an irritated shove and reveals an eerily dark stairwell.
After four flights of stairs Changmin feels out of breath, dragging his bag behind him.
Jaejoong stops. "Let me carry it," he turns and outstretches his hand for the bag. "It's another five flights."
Changmin hesitates, it's not for fear if he tried to run away with it, he couldn't catch him but it holds his only passions in the world. It's a bit scary to see it entrusted in a pair of hands he doesn't know.
He can see the understanding in Jaejoong's eyes when he doesn't give it to him and he nods. By the time they reach the final floor, his breathing is short and wheezy and he hates himself for refusing the help once offered to him. He thinks, as the bag that now seems to weigh a ton, drags unceremoniously along the filth ridden carpet, he's an idiot and he may possibly die of over exhaustion.
"Here we are," Jaejoong smiles and inserts his key, before he opens the door he places a hand on Changmin's shoulder, "I have a tendency to act without thinking," he smiles helplessly but becomes very serious after a few moments. "Will I regret bringing you here?" he asks, eyes locked in unknowing and premature trust.
Changmin thinks it's a little late to ask that kind of question when they're one step away from entering his apartment; if he were the kind to pillage and destroy all in his path, nothing could stop him now… but he's not and he shakes his head. "I just need a place to crash," he answers him and when Jaejoong's pretty mouth curves into a gentle smile Changmin wonders how often he's had to ask that and thinks it's sad he has to at all.
The apartment is quite spacious; the living room is open with beaten couches and a large television against the wall; there's an organized, monstrous array of CDs and DVDs beside the television in a black bookcase, with no books. He can see different game consoles scattered unruly about and a cloud of something pungent wafts in the air that stick to his lungs. He hasn't smelled it in years.
Jaejoong closes the door behind him and grabs his free hand, which makes Changmin jerk a little, but the smile in his eyes eases the tension. "Let me show you where you can sleep," he ushers him through the living room, into a dark hallway and into a room with two beds, one empty, the other filled with a mountain of clothes. Changmin watches Jaejoong shove the clothes into a pile between the two beds.
"It's clean, a little uncomfortable, but you get used to it after awhile," Jaejoong says as he walks to the closet and pulls out new sheets and a blanket. "It gets cold, so you'll probably need this," he hands them over and Changmin places his bag on the bed, taking the linens.
"Thank you," Changmin looks at him and Jaejoong's eyes are far more brilliant than any star in the night sky.
He pats his shoulder and walks towards the door, "if you'd like, I'm going to make some food and you're welcome to join us."
"Us?" Changmin turns around.
He nods, "I've got a few roommates," he grins and then closes the door to give him some privacy.
Changmin tosses the linens on the bed and takes a seat. He looks around the room, the floor is clean, the walls are painted a dull blue and there are no pictures. He sees a keyboard in the corner standing on a hilt and there's a dresser, the top filled with colognes and empty packs of cigarettes. It doesn't smell like smoke in the room.
When he's finished making his bed he walks out and hears voices coming from the living room.
"I think someone was following me."
"Yunho, no one was following you."
"I swear to god, someone was. I promise this time."
Changmin walks around the corner and at the table he sees a face he doesn't know and Jaejoong in the kitchen stirring a pot on the stove.
"Who are you?" the man at the table asks and eyes him cautiously, he's handsome with a small face and dark fluffy hair that hangs to his shoulders.
Jaejoong looks up at Changmin and gives him a wink. "Yunho, his name is Changmin. Don't be rude," he warns and Yunho turns back to Changmin as he stands by the wall, eyeing him curiously up and down. He looks into his eyes and Changmin stares back at him without a word. After a few moments Yunho returns his attention to Jaejoong.
"I think my parents are paying someone to follow me," he continues with his story and Changmin walks to the kitchen to be closer to someone he knows, even if he doesn't really know him.
Jaejoong hands him a spoon and asks him to stir the contents of the pot that look like some kind of soup and it smells delicious as his stomach roars with hunger for something more than just the cake he ate earlier.
Then he walks around him and to the table where Yunho keeps his eyes on him. Following him until Jaejoong is standing in front of him and Yunho is hidden.
"Then I'll protect you," he says so softly Changmin has to strain to hear and then Jaejoong is kissing Yunho and Yunho's hands are clutching at the back of his shirt desperately. Changmin flushes and looks back at the soup in time to hear the door open and two new voices arrive in blasting entrance.
"Who's the stray?" Is the first thing he hears.
"Who's that?" Is the second.
"Changmin," Yunho's voice answers and Jaejoong is back in the kitchen standing behind him, looking over his shoulder and it reminds him of his mother. His mother who kicked him out and that's why he's here, in an apartment he doesn't know, with people he doesn't know and someone who thinks he's being followed.
"Yoochun, Junsu, this is Changmin," Jaejoong introduces. "My other roommates," Jaejoong grins and offers to take over.
"You're cute," the one he thinks is named Yoochun grins slickly at him and Changmin's finger curves around the knife hidden in his pants.
"Where is he sleeping?" the one, who must then be named Junsu, takes a seat beside Yunho and starts playing with the ends of his hair. He sounds nervous and Changmin wonders what he's gotten himself into.
"With Yoochun," Jaejoong answers as he grabs plates. "Someone come help me," he asks and Yunho gets up from the table quickly, Changmin watches as Junsu's eyes follow him and it feels like Yoochun is staring at him. When he turns his head, he is and it's dark with something that makes him think he'll be sleeping with his knife under his pillow.
"So, what's your story?" Yoochun asks at the table, their bowls empty and Changmin's stomach feeling full after his second serving. He looks at him and doesn't say anything. Yoochun looks at Jaejoong when the silence is too long. "Does he know how to talk?" he asks quite seriously and Changmin narrows his eyes completely offended.
"Yes, I can talk," he speaks and realizes it's the first time since he walked in on Yunho and Jaejoong. "I don't have a story," he says and Yoochun smirks.
"Jaejoong has an innate way of sniffing out troubled youth," Yoochun speaks and Changmin glances at Jaejoong who's rubbing Junsu's shoulder and he kind of smiles in a way that validates Yoochun's point. Changmin has never really thought he was a troubled youth though his parents didn't kick him out because he was a good role model. There was the drinking, the drugs, the fights, the night he broke into someone's car and crashed it into the park.
And the fires.
His best friend.
He remembers his best friend passed out on the floor too high to move when the smoke started choking them. If he hadn't been so drunk, hadn't been so strung out, he could've saved him.
But he didn't and now someone is dead.
He doesn't even know how he managed to save himself.
"Yoochun, leave him alone," Jaejoong's voice pierces through his memories and he's back in an unfamiliar apartment with people who don't know who he is and what he's done. "Changmin, help me clear the table," Jaejoong asks nicely and he nods getting to his feet making sure to ignore Yoochun completely.
Changmin lies in bed, looking at the ceiling, eyes wide open, void of sleep or anything that could possibly make him sleep. There's a soft glow coming from his left and he turns his head, Yoochun is on his computer, typing furiously away at the keys. He doesn't say anything; he just watches him and blinks slowly, before turning back to the ceiling that has a large crack right above his head.
He wonders if his mother is thinking about him, if she's crying that they kicked him out. If she's going to call and beg him to come back home.
He thinks it's wishful thinking.
Changmin remembers the look in his father's eyes. It held years of pent up frustration, exhaustion, anger, he looked tired and there was a power in his intense stare that let Changmin know, he was never welcomed back.
He has nowhere else to go.
His friends always joked he could stay with them but since the fire… he sort of lost contact with the remaining people who didn't think he was completely crazy. If they were unwilling to give him one night of shelter, the possibility of allowing him to stay with them was even less likely.
Changmin sighs and looks out the window.
It's hitting him.
He has no one and although he lies in a warm bed, Changmin doesn't presume to think Jaejoong's kindness will extend further than one night. In the morning he should start looking for a place to stay, though he doesn't have much money and it may be possible to rent a cheap motel room for a few nights but without a job and no further income filling his wallet, Changmin worries when he'll have to start sleeping on the streets, like the people he's always despised.
The streets were for people who were lazy, addicts who's goal in life was to get high, who's ambition is lost in the suffocating fog of failure.
"Your heavy sighs are rather distracting."
Changmin turns his head back to his left and finds Yoochun looking at him, his hands hovering over the keyboard and he looks slightly agitated but more so curious.
"I'm sorry," Changmin sighs again and looks back up at the ceiling, sliding his hands under his head.
He would really like to sleep if it weren't for the unsettling reality racing through his frenzied mind.
Yoochun doesn't say anything but Changmin can feel his eyes still. After a few minutes of continuous typing the soft glow fades away and Changmin let his eyes wonder over to him, listens as the blankets shift and he slides down with a quiet groan.
"Something on your mind?" Yoochun asks suddenly into the darkness and Changmin curls his fingers around his hair before relaxing them against his scalp.
"I should sleep," Changmin answers and turns onto his side, pulling the covers over his shoulders, "you probably should too."
But Yoochun doesn't.
In fact he continues to speak. "My parents used to sell me to wealthy businessmen when they couldn't afford to pay the bills," Yoochun confesses easily.
Changmin clenches his eyes shut at the sound of his voice.
There is no emotion, like casual conversation, like it's normal to talk about such things with a stranger. "I'm sorry," he mutters and hopes it will be the end, though his heart is beating like a war drum against his chest.
He can hear Yoochun shift, "oh, it's ok," he proceeds to speak with the same ease, "it wasn't so bad, I was usually drunk and more often than not passed out," he admits.
Changmin clutches at his blankets and breathes in and out of his mouth.
"I finally ran away but then I had nowhere to go so I ended up doing what my parents did to me for so long," he keeps talking.
Changmin turns on his stomach and buries his face in his pillow.
"When Jaejoong found me I was getting ready to jump into the Han River, so fucking high I thought I could fly."
Changmin groans as he pulls himself up on his hands and looks over at Yoochun's dark silhouette, broken in slivered moonlight that spills from the window. "Why are you telling me this?" he questions.
He can see Yoochun sit up, the blankets bunched around his waist. He doesn't answer immediately and Changmin thinks it's worse.
"Because sometimes it's easier to talk when you know you're not the only one with problems," Yoochun answers and slides back down onto the bed with a silent plop of his pillow and a ruffle of his blankets.
Changmin bows his head; he preferred the silence and slowly lowers himself back onto his chest. "I’m going to sleep now," he says after a few seconds of nothing and he closes his eyes.
"Goodnight, Changmin," Yoochun says and turns around. "Sweet dreams."
Changmin opens his eyes and stares at his pale back.
He can't remember the last time someone said that to him.
He's surrounded in fire, it licks the bottom of his shoes but he can't feel it. He watches horrified as the flames consume his legs, when he tries to move he can't. When he looks around for help all he sees is vivid colors of red and yellow, orange waves rolling up along the walls and in the corner a body, flames moving in like demons.
When he tries to scream black smoke pours from his mouth.
Changmin wakes up to hands gripping his shoulders, when he opens his eyes the lamp is on and Yoochun looks worried. His throat is raw and he thinks he can taste blood against his tongue when he swallows.
"You were screaming," Yoochun tells him, his eyes wide, with something that comes off a little scared. He looks shaken and pale against the harsh light.
Changmin looks down at himself, his t-shirt is soaked through and his skin feels like it's burning. Yoochun doesn't move and keeps looking at him questionably, for answers. He wipes at his forehead and sighs, closing his eyes for a moment to breath and hesitates for a second, he remembers the black smoke and when he takes a deep breath it's clean.
"You kept calling out a name," Yoochun's grip relaxes around his shoulders and Changmin look into his eyes.
"You can let me go," he replies and rolls his shoulders when he feels the fingers leave him but he thinks he may have left imprints against his skin.
Yoochun falls back onto the bed and keeps looking at him until Changmin throws the covers off and grabs for his bag. He should get out of the shirt. Yoochun's eyes follow him until he's out of the room and Changmin is enveloped by darkness as he walks to the bathroom. His legs wobble uneasily and he bumps into something that sends a shooting pain through his foot when he flips the bathroom light on.
It's a small bathroom, a sink and shower, a toilet and a mirror. When he sees his reflection his skin is swallow, eyes weak and tears of sweat sprinkle against his neck.
Changmin turns on the cold water and wipes his face down, runs cool water along his neck, slides damp fingers through his hair, he drinks some before he turns it off and looks back at his reflection, it hasn't changed. He looks like he just woke up from a nightmare and he turns away, pulls off the wet t-shirt and slides into the dry cotton that feels cool against his skin.
Yoochun is still sitting on his bed and Changmin returns and closes the door behind him.
"Everything ok?" he asks and continues to watch him until he's back under the covers and all they're doing is staring at each other.
Yoochun who has eyes that seem far older than his years, who's experienced far more than Changmin has and he doesn't even know him.
"I'm fine," he mutters and lies down, closing his eyes, trying to breathe normal. Trying to slow down his beating heart. Yoochun finally climbs off when it's clear Changmin is not going to talk about it and turns the light off.
Changmin rolls onto his side prepared to get through the night when he feels the blankets lift and the bed dips. He turns questionably as the beating freezes against his chest and his breath catches in his throat.
"Move over," Yoochun instructs and Changmin lies paralyzed when he feels the warmth of Yoochun's skin against his arm.
"What are you doing?" he chokes and sits up. He can feel Yoochun settle down beside him.
"When I have nightmares it always helps me sleep better with someone else in the bed," Yoochun explains and physically pulls Changmin back down to the bed.
Changmin moves clear across the mattress and wonders if he should push Yoochun over the edge. He can't remember the last time he slept beside someone else.
He doesn't even know Yoochun.
He tugs at the blankets and hopes he won't roll off the side and find himself on the floor in the morning with a bump on his head.
When he feels a warm hand skirting along his arm, pulling him tight against his chest Changmin stills and pulls the fingers from his skin. "If I feel anything… unnatural, I'll cut you," Changmin warns but Yoochun laughs deep in his throat and keeps away.
"I believe you," he chuckles and Changmin thinks maybe he should've slept with the knife under his pillow.
In the morning Yoochun is gone and it's warm where he slept. Changmin sighs against his pillow and opens his eyes. A digital clock tells him it's almost eight and he turns away, closing his eyes again.
Just a few more minutes of sleep.
The smell's amazing, like Sunday mornings at home when his mother makes the family breakfast. Changmin attempts to comb down his wild bed head and walks sluggishly into the living room. Yunho and Junsu are sitting on the couch, Yunho is reading and Junsu is playing a video game. Jaejoong is in the kitchen and when he looks for Yoochun, he's nowhere in sight.
"Good morning," Jaejoong smiles cheerfully in his elephant pajamas while he flips hot cakes in a cast-iron skillet.
Changmin manages a smile and walks into the kitchen to see if he can be of any help, it's the least he can do. Jaejoong hands him eggs to crack in a bowl to scramble.
"How did you sleep?" Jaejoong asks, checking on the sizzling meat. When he looks at him he's bright, far too awake and Changmin stirs the eggs easily in the bowl.
"Fine," he answers and when it seem like his efforts are futile Jaejoong takes over with a thankful smile. So he leans against the counter and watches him move gracefully around the kitchen. "Thank you again, for letting me stay here," Changmin scratches his cheek and hands him the milk.
"Do you have a job?" Jaejoong asks, pointing to the plate on the counter beside Changmin. He hands it over and shakes his head.
"I need to look," he answers and his stomach grumbles hungrily as the hotcakes are piled high on the plate, in perfect circles he's only seen in restaurants. "I uh… I should leave soon," he flushes when his stomach cries out again.
"We could use some help at the café," Jaejoong says while he points to another plate and Changmin watches as he slides the breakfast meat neatly in a row. "It doesn't pay much, but the tips are really good," he smiles and gently nudges Changmin out of the kitchen. "After breakfast we'll talk more," he says and sends him off with two plates of food, "Yunho, Junsu, come eat."
Jaejoong puts him in the front but when Changmin almost punches a customer for complaining about Jaejoong's service for the second time, Jaejoong drags him back into the kitchen.
"Although I'm flattered," he laughs and pats Changmin's shoulder kindly, "you can't beat up customers."
Changmin sneers and starts to walk back out when he hears said customer going off again, until he feels a strong pull back of strength, "I'm going to kick his ass," Changmin tells Jaejoong who's blushing behind his beautiful smile.
"Do you know how to cook?" he asks and waves JiHoo over to them.
Changmin looks at him then back at Jaejoong, "I'm a quick learner," he answers and it seems sufficient enough for Jaejoong who grabs an extra apron from the wall hanging and tosses it to Changmin.
"JiHoo will show you the menu; it's not difficult, just a few sandwiches and salads. Shouldn't be hard to pick up," he says and moves to leave.
While Changmin is tying a knot he feels warm arms wrap around him from behind. "Thank you, Changmin," Jaejoong whispers and walks away before he can respond.
On the walk back to the apartment Changmin doesn't say much, his shoulders ache; his feet feel like they could possibly be on fire and he's quite positive he smells like the spicy dressing he spilled all over himself earlier in the day.
"You haven't worked a day in your life have you?" Jaejoong asks him while they wait at a stoplight, cars pass them by and he thinks he hears a few whistles from a group of girls in a taxi. Jaejoong ignores them and Changmin does the same.
"Never had to," he answers as they cross and tucks his hands into his pockets.
Jaejoong nods and starts to hum after a few moments.
He remembers he never really thanked him for the job, nor did he thank him for giving him a permanent place to stay. He's never really known how to show much appreciation before.
"Ah," Changmin bites his lip and looks at the ground, the broken glass glitters against the artificial light, "Thank you for, you know," he scratches his neck and looks over at Jaejoong who's still humming, holding a piece of cheese cake in his right hand. "For giving me a job, a place to stay," he finishes and turns away a little embarrassed.
He's never known someone to show such kindness to a complete stranger. Changmin never thought people like Jaejoong existed, at least not in his world of extravagance and wealth.
When he feels an arm wrap around his shoulders and a light pressure against his side he smiles to himself and ducks his head.
"I'm glad you came into the shop last night," Jaejoong grins and let's his hand slide off his shoulder after a few seconds, falling into step again, "and you seemed to have passed the test," he adds vaguely enough to peak Changmin's interest of further explanation.
"Test?"
Jaejoong laughs, "The guys seem to like you," he explains and grabs his elbows, pulling him aside to avoid what looks like vomit on the cement. "They are excellent judges of character," he adds and starts to hum again.
Changmin thinks of Yunho who seems a little weird despite how normal he looks. Junsu laughs a lot and it's loud and sometimes obnoxious but behind the exuberant noise comes a sadness in his eyes that seems far deeper than he shows. And Yoochun, Changmin remembers their conversation in the room, remembers how he helped him recover from the night mare. Yoochun who seems to be the most outspoken holds memories so dark even Changmin can't imagine them.
He doesn't have to ask to know Jaejoong knows all about Yoochun. Jaejoong probably knows Yoochun more than anyone else does and who could blame him. From the moment he stepped into the shop, hiding from potential arrest Jaejoong was the first face he saw, gave him what he needed to take his mind off his parents, off the loss of his comfortable life. Jaejoong gave him a place to stay when he didn't have one and now he's given him a job.
He doesn't even know him.
He thinks he may possibly owe Jaejoong his life.
When they near the apartment complex Changmin watches the wisps of cold air that float from his lips and shivers. He wants to tuck himself into bed and sleep through the night. A part of him worries he'll wake up again, fears the nightmares that seem to haunt him now more than ever.
Then Yoochun pops into his mind, so easily.
He hasn't seen him all day.
He wonders what kind of night mares Yoochun has. Changmin can only imagine them and when he starts to he shakes his head earnestly. He doesn't want to think about it, no one should have too.
Jaejoong touches his arm lightly as he pulls his keys out. "You ok?" he asks and slides the key in, opening the door for the both of them. "You look rather… unsettled," he offers a gentle squeeze and Changmin manages a weak smile.
"Just thinking," he lies, but not completely because he was thinking of Yoochun and what he told him. "Yoochun," he speaks before he can stop himself and Jaejoong holds the door open, watching him closely as he passes and they head for the elevator that should be working since it was working earlier when they left.
"What about Yoochun?" Jaejoong asks with comforting eyes and presses the button that sends the doors opening with a loud buzz rather than the normal ding.
When Changmin can't find the words to adequately explain his concerns he blurts out unexpected words. "He told me," he says and immediately regrets it because Jaejoong tilts his head to the side but his eyes know exactly what Changmin is talking about.
"Ah," he nods after a few moments and the elevator doors close, sending the car jerking upwards in a slow, sluggish motion. "Forgive him," he pats Changmin's shoulder in comfort. "Yoochun's, quite," it looks like he's considering his words carefully, "he. He doesn't have a filter sometimes."
Changmin look at him and from the little time they've spent together, he believes Jaejoong. "It's just," he sighs trying not to think about it but finds it rather difficult, "I don't know, he doesn't really know me."
It looks like it makes sense to Jaejoong, but Jaejoong seems to run on faith, not too many people would do what he's done for him and it's truly admirable. "Last night when Yoochun asked about you, he wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable," Jaejoong holds onto the railing of the wall, settling against it while they surge upward, "but he's right, Changmin, there's always a story. Yoochun chooses to share his pretty willingly."
Maybe a little too willingly, Changmin thinks and worries his teeth over his lip. He wonders what else Yoochun may confess.
He wonders when he'll tell his own story.
When they reach the top floor Changmin holds the elevator doors open for Jaejoong to pass and the jingle of his keys rings like bells in the silent hallway.
Jaejoong turns to him and offers a kind smile that makes Changmin feel a little too grateful to witness it, "Don't let Yoochun bother you, his intentions are in the right place," he says it like a promise and Changmin nods.
The door flies open before Jaejoong unlocks it and Junsu is shaking, his eyes wide and horrified. "It's Yunho," he grabs Jaejoong roughly and presses against him, arms like crushing tentacles and Changmin steps back alarmed.
Jaejoong, on the other hand calmly hands the cheesecake to Changmin then begins sweeping his hands up and down Junsu's shivering body, murmuring into his ear, smoothing his hair, placating his emotions. "Calm down, Junsu," he brushes the back of his hand along his cheek and kisses him softly on the mouth. "Where's Yunho?" he pulls away and Junsu's shoulders relax and he's grasping his hand. "What happened?"
Changmin watches in fascination, though his heart is raging erratically in his chest, pressing himself against the wall while Junsu points with a shaking hand.
"I don't know. He just, he was freaking out and then-" Junsu buries his face in Jaejoong's neck and they walk slowly together towards the couch, around Changmin and sit down. "He started screaming and throwing things. In the room, Jaejoong," Junsu talks incoherently and shakes his head, they all hear a loud, pained scream and Jaejoong looks towards the bedrooms, Junsu pales with frightened eyes and Changmin thinks it sounded like an animal.
"Stay here," he cajoles Junsu with reassurance and kisses him one more time.
Changmin watches a little horrified as Jaejoong walks around the couch with steady footsteps and he wonders if his heart is beating as hard and fast as his own. They meet eyes for a brief moment and he smiles sadly, "everyone has a story," he tells him and disappears down the hall.
Changmin looks at Junsu.
Junsu looks at Changmin. He still looks upset and Changmin doesn't really know what to do about it. He has no idea. "Do you-" he takes a few calming breaths while Junsu looks at him a little too expectantly, "do you want something to drink?" he asks and Junsu nods.
"Something warm would be nice," Junsu allows himself a smile but it's still racked with worry as his eyes bounce between Changmin and the hallway. They can hear Jaejoong and Yunho in the room, Yunho's screaming at him about people watching him, following him, trying to kidnap him and Changmin doesn't want to pry any longer.
"Come on," he reaches out for Junsu and when the warmth of his hand slides in they walk towards the kitchen together.
Changmin doesn't know where anything is but with help from Junsu they get a pot of boiling water on the stove and ready two mugs with tea bags on the counter.
"It freaks me out," Junsu starts talking after awhile and crosses his arms over his chest, looking down at the floor. He still looks rather upset. "He just-he goes crazy sometimes," he says and Changmin pulls the pot off the stove once it starts to whistle and pours the hot water into the cups.
"I'm sorry," Changmin offers because he doesn't know what else to say as he hands him the steaming mug. "I don't know," he shrugs and Junsu nods solemnly.
"You will," he looks at him and it's almost like he's sorry. "Soon you'll know everything," he holds the mug between his hands and blows into the tea, "about everyone," he adds and starts walking away. Before he leaves him completely he takes a deep breath. "Thank you for the tea," he says and Changmin nods grabbing his own cup and walks away, leaving Junsu on the couch.
On his way to his room Changmin passes an open door and he can see Yunho crouched on the floor rocking back and forth, Jaejoong is hovering over him and whispering and the room is in complete shambles, broken glass, ripped bed linens and the carpet is wet.
He knows he shouldn't be watching them and after a few moments he moves on, closing the door quietly and heads to his own room.
Yoochun is the first thing he sees; he's stretched out on the bed, reading a book and has glasses on.
He smiles when they meet eyes.
"You're home," he sets the book on his lap and watches him curiously while Changmin moves to his bed, setting the cup on the nightstand between their mattresses. "Did you miss me?" he asks after a while and Changmin glares at him, far too aloof when there's an apparent emergency just down the hall.
"Shut up," Changmin mutters and takes off his jacket.
Jaejoong pops his head in a few seconds later and looks in Yoochun's direction. "Do you have any sedatives?" he asks him and opens the door wide, walking through.
Yoochun nods and reaches over, into the night stand, tossing a pill bottle at Jaejoong. "They're strong, be careful," he warns and Jaejoong nods gratefully, looking at Changmin before he leaves.
"You okay?" he asks and Changmin nods.
"Just a little freaked out but ok," he tells him.
Jaejoong turns to Yoochun before he leaves, "and you, try and be a little more helpful next time."
Yoochun lets out an exasperated sigh, "he wanted you. When I walked in he almost took my head off," he informs but when Jaejoong glares he has the decency to look ashamed. "I'll try harder next time," he promises and Jaejoong looks grateful.
Changmin watches the verbal exchange in silence while he sips at his tea, forcing himself to relax despite the unnerving situation.
"Will you pick up his prescription tomorrow?"
"Of course," Yoochun nods and then Jaejoong leaves them.
Changmin looks at Yoochun. "What's wrong with him?" he asks softly and Yoochun, who looks a little dazed, turns to him.
"Ah, Yunho," he takes his book and throws it on the floor, sliding down into bed. "He's paranoid," he tells him and props his head on his hand. "It's not always so bad, he takes medicine to pacify the delusions but when he's out, it can get scary," Yoochun reveals and doesn't say anymore.
Changmin thinks back on the conversation in the elevator. He remembers what Yoochun said at dinner the night before. He considers very carefully the next words that leave his mouth. "Does everyone here have problems?" he asks, wondering if maybe it wasn't a coincidence that he walked into Jaejoong's shop but perhaps he was meant to.
Yoochun smiles easily and it confirms a worry that's been plaguing Changmin most of his life. "Everyone has problems," he says slowly and he slides under the covers. "Ours are just a little worse."
| 02 |
[Master Fic List]