sunday_reveries prompts for 11/8-11/22 [quote #8]
8. "Some things, however, are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out,
and a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened,
can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back."
-Alice Hoffman
“We’re nearly ready.” Samuel made the soft statement as though it were a warning as he stared at the girl who sat with her back to him. She looked so out of place sitting on his bed, a little splash of blonde and gray in his world of tattered colors and cheap material.
The gray suited her mood as she sat there in an oversized gray sweater that she had brought with her. She had packed it as an afterthought but now that she wore it, she remembered it was the sweater she wore on the last day she saw Nathan alive. The realization made her heart ache as she took in a small breath while nodding her head. “Okay.”
Samuel glanced over his shoulder to the small crowd gathered outside of his trailer, all of them looking at him with expectant gazes and some with worried frowns. They all had hope though, they all had hope he knew what he was doing and that this choice was the right one. Bringing a monster into their fold and giving him safe haven, therefore giving them protection. Their family would grow and it would be stronger but only a couple of them understood the price. He could see it in Edgar’s face and in Lydia’s eyes even as she tried to smile. She was worried about the girl and, in truth, he was too.
Claire didn’t care for their pity or their worry though and she didn’t pay them any attention as she looked down at the phone in her hand. The screen was dim but she could see the name she had scrolled down to, the number nearly as familiar as her own now but she couldn’t bring herself to press the button. The moment she did, everything would be done. She would set plans into motion and there would be no coming back from them. She would be nailing the final nail into the coffin of a man she had never gotten to know.
She heard the murmuring behind her and a phrase that said they were ready and all she wanted to do was scream at them. She wasn’t ready, not at all. Part of her wanted to tell them she couldn’t do this because maybe she could just deal with it. Maybe she could look at Nathan and pretend that she didn’t know who was underneath. Maybe she could even go to the Haitian and have him take away all the knowledge she held in her now.
She didn’t have to know after all. She could remain blissfully unaware after all. She could have the normal life she had been chasing; she could have friends, her family and a world where she believed the monster that had hurt her was gone. She didn’t have to know that there were worse monsters in her own family. Monsters who would let a good man die when he could have been saved and gave the monster a mask. Monsters who continuously lied to her and who would keep on lying in order to protect what they had done. Who would lie to protect themselves.
“Claire, we’re ready. We know where....he is.” He didn’t want to say the word ‘father’ considering what she was about to do.
“Okay.” The single word is as hollow as she felt in that moment, empty and barren.
She didn’t need to hear the door close to know he had left her to this, to do this all alone. What sort of comfort could he really offer her now? There were no words, nothing that he could say, that would make it any easier for her. He could tell her that it would be okay, that they would give her the family she was going to lose and that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for things to get better but she knew all of that.
As she moved to press the “send” button, there was a slight tremor to her hand but she ignored it as she lifted the phone to her ear and waited for the voice on the other end. As soon as she heard ‘Nathan’ say her name, his tone rich with concern, she wanted to cry and so there was no pretending the hoarseness in her own voice.
“Nathan....I need you.” She pressed her lips together in a crooked line as the world around her started to blur.
“Of course, Claire. Wherever you need me to be, I’ll be there.” He sounded so worried and ready to make everything better. Just like any dad would do for his daughter and now she was going to betray him.
She was no better than the other monsters.
“You need to come alone. There’s somewhere we can meet.” She rattled off the address without needing to look at the paper beside her. She would never forget.
“I’ll be there in fifteen.”
As the phone clicked on the other end, she wanted to call him back and beg him not to come. She wanted to take it all back but she couldn’t as she lowered the phone to the bed while resisting the urge to break this one like she had broken the other. Turning around slowly, she slid off of the bed and tightened the sweater around herself as she walked to the door of the trailer to open it up.
Outside, they waited for her and she wanted to believe that this was the family for her now but she wasn’t sure she could believe it. She had a family, one that she couldn’t trust and she wasn’t sure she was ready to offer anyone else that sort of trust. Not that she was going to worry about it right now because soon she wasn’t going to have a choice but to take asylum in their bosom of the family they had created. The thoughts caused the blur of tears once more and she almost couldn’t see anything as she stepped out and felt Samuel’s hand curl around her arm. “He’s coming.”
“Okay.” He nodded before he started to lead her along, not sure she could walk on her own. “I’m sorry you have to do this, Claire. I really am.”
“I know.” She said it as she felt her heart start to fracture inside her chest. She was walking towards a destiny she didn’t understand and it would come with the price. She hadn’t killed her biological father and she hadn’t forced a monster to take his face but she could feel his blood staining her hands as she was led to her vehicle. When she looked at Samuel, the tears were gone but the emptiness couldn’t be chased away as he could see her heart was breaking with guilt.
“I’m sorry too.” She murmured as she climbed into the driver’s seat.
[Samuel is
offering_hope , and is used with love and permission]
and a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened,
can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back."
-Alice Hoffman
“We’re nearly ready.” Samuel made the soft statement as though it were a warning as he stared at the girl who sat with her back to him. She looked so out of place sitting on his bed, a little splash of blonde and gray in his world of tattered colors and cheap material.
The gray suited her mood as she sat there in an oversized gray sweater that she had brought with her. She had packed it as an afterthought but now that she wore it, she remembered it was the sweater she wore on the last day she saw Nathan alive. The realization made her heart ache as she took in a small breath while nodding her head. “Okay.”
Samuel glanced over his shoulder to the small crowd gathered outside of his trailer, all of them looking at him with expectant gazes and some with worried frowns. They all had hope though, they all had hope he knew what he was doing and that this choice was the right one. Bringing a monster into their fold and giving him safe haven, therefore giving them protection. Their family would grow and it would be stronger but only a couple of them understood the price. He could see it in Edgar’s face and in Lydia’s eyes even as she tried to smile. She was worried about the girl and, in truth, he was too.
Claire didn’t care for their pity or their worry though and she didn’t pay them any attention as she looked down at the phone in her hand. The screen was dim but she could see the name she had scrolled down to, the number nearly as familiar as her own now but she couldn’t bring herself to press the button. The moment she did, everything would be done. She would set plans into motion and there would be no coming back from them. She would be nailing the final nail into the coffin of a man she had never gotten to know.
She heard the murmuring behind her and a phrase that said they were ready and all she wanted to do was scream at them. She wasn’t ready, not at all. Part of her wanted to tell them she couldn’t do this because maybe she could just deal with it. Maybe she could look at Nathan and pretend that she didn’t know who was underneath. Maybe she could even go to the Haitian and have him take away all the knowledge she held in her now.
She didn’t have to know after all. She could remain blissfully unaware after all. She could have the normal life she had been chasing; she could have friends, her family and a world where she believed the monster that had hurt her was gone. She didn’t have to know that there were worse monsters in her own family. Monsters who would let a good man die when he could have been saved and gave the monster a mask. Monsters who continuously lied to her and who would keep on lying in order to protect what they had done. Who would lie to protect themselves.
“Claire, we’re ready. We know where....he is.” He didn’t want to say the word ‘father’ considering what she was about to do.
“Okay.” The single word is as hollow as she felt in that moment, empty and barren.
She didn’t need to hear the door close to know he had left her to this, to do this all alone. What sort of comfort could he really offer her now? There were no words, nothing that he could say, that would make it any easier for her. He could tell her that it would be okay, that they would give her the family she was going to lose and that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for things to get better but she knew all of that.
As she moved to press the “send” button, there was a slight tremor to her hand but she ignored it as she lifted the phone to her ear and waited for the voice on the other end. As soon as she heard ‘Nathan’ say her name, his tone rich with concern, she wanted to cry and so there was no pretending the hoarseness in her own voice.
“Nathan....I need you.” She pressed her lips together in a crooked line as the world around her started to blur.
“Of course, Claire. Wherever you need me to be, I’ll be there.” He sounded so worried and ready to make everything better. Just like any dad would do for his daughter and now she was going to betray him.
She was no better than the other monsters.
“You need to come alone. There’s somewhere we can meet.” She rattled off the address without needing to look at the paper beside her. She would never forget.
“I’ll be there in fifteen.”
As the phone clicked on the other end, she wanted to call him back and beg him not to come. She wanted to take it all back but she couldn’t as she lowered the phone to the bed while resisting the urge to break this one like she had broken the other. Turning around slowly, she slid off of the bed and tightened the sweater around herself as she walked to the door of the trailer to open it up.
Outside, they waited for her and she wanted to believe that this was the family for her now but she wasn’t sure she could believe it. She had a family, one that she couldn’t trust and she wasn’t sure she was ready to offer anyone else that sort of trust. Not that she was going to worry about it right now because soon she wasn’t going to have a choice but to take asylum in their bosom of the family they had created. The thoughts caused the blur of tears once more and she almost couldn’t see anything as she stepped out and felt Samuel’s hand curl around her arm. “He’s coming.”
“Okay.” He nodded before he started to lead her along, not sure she could walk on her own. “I’m sorry you have to do this, Claire. I really am.”
“I know.” She said it as she felt her heart start to fracture inside her chest. She was walking towards a destiny she didn’t understand and it would come with the price. She hadn’t killed her biological father and she hadn’t forced a monster to take his face but she could feel his blood staining her hands as she was led to her vehicle. When she looked at Samuel, the tears were gone but the emptiness couldn’t be chased away as he could see her heart was breaking with guilt.
“I’m sorry too.” She murmured as she climbed into the driver’s seat.
[Samuel is
offering_hope , and is used with love and permission]