The Diet [EXO]
Xiu Min/Chen
G
~2800w
Minseok goes on a diet and reminds Jongdae of Thumper, Hamtaro, and the Beast. (high school!au)
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T FIND AN ADEQUATE NAME FOR THIS FIC T____T...I'm pretty sure that I didn't do my first Exo fic justice with this :( But. Well, I've got to start somewhere, right? ;o; For htiitlstdct because it would never feel right not dedicating this to Simone, who I've done for 90% of my fics lmao. ♥ Enjoy?
Minseok's had it with his weight. He's been through this before, feeling too crappy and fat; his stupid chubby cheeks that people keep pinching, how he can never fit into those jeans he bought a month ago-he hates being "heavy." He goes on a diet. Again.
And he tells Jongdae to reprimand him if he ever gets out of line.
Jongdae's had this conversation before, of course; he doesn't really bother to listen-he knows Minseok's speech by heart.
"I'm going on a diet. If you ever see me eat something that's not on the chart, whack me on the head, okay? Don't even hesitate. I mean it this time."
"Don't worry about your weight, hyung."
"But-But look," Minseok sputters. He pinches his own cheek.
"Baby fat."
"Nuh-uh."
"You're like," Jongdae pauses for a moment to think. "Thumper. His cheeks are chubby and he's lovable. And he eventually gets a girlfriend."
Minseok whacks him on the shoulder lightly, "Am I a freaking rabbit to you?"
Jongdae blinks at the small outburst and his lips curl into a smile, "No, more like a hamster actually. Maybe you're Hamtaro-that's it, that's it! You're Hamtaro!"
"Hyung."
Minseok doesn't answer and Jongdae furrows his eyebrows. "Hyung!"
Minseok looks up, half-way towards eating the last bite of the chocolate bar he's had a hold of for all of three minutes. He eyes the piece warily as he responds, "Hmm?"
"Aren't you on a diet?" Minseok is back to his usual ways again, Jongdae knows, but he can't help but ask.
"Diet? What diet?"
"Hyung," Jongdae whines, "You told me to whack you on the head if you ever eat something that's not on your diet plan. Last time I checked, chocolate's not on the list so-"
"Lalalala~ I can't hear you~" Minseok nearly sings, popping the chocolate into his mouth and covering his ears with his palms.
Jongdae sighs and heads to the kitchen, setting down the AP Physics book on the table. When he gets to the refrigerator, he eyes the diet chart-and sees one little change.
"What the hell, did you just tape a picture of chocolate into your diet plan?"
"I HAVE NO DIET PLAN."
"Stupid hamster-rabbit boy," Jongdae mumbles, coming back to the living room and smacking Minseok on the back of his head.
"Ow," Minseok mumbles and opens his eyes. "Fine, okay, I deserved that."
"Yeah, you did."
Minseok turns to food often, especially when binging because of stress. It's not healthy, he knows, but he can't help it because food is just so yummy. Though, of course, he never turns himself towards the food that he should be eating on that diet plan of his. It's taped on the fridge, where everyone can see it, but all Minseok does is grimace at it before he opens the fridge.
This habit of turning to food is particularly bad when he wakes up-or, he doesn't actually wake up, per say; he's more asleep than awake-to his stomach rumbling loud and clear and he stumbles to the kitchen at 3 in the morning. The fridge opens with his clumsy hands, and he squints, still half-asleep, into the yellow lights, wondering what he should eat.
There ends up being three things he can pick from-strawberry yogurt, which is one of the few healthy foods that he can actually eat without grimacing twenty five times, Pizza Rolls, which he decides takes too long to make even though he only has to put them in the microwave for 90 seconds, and vanilla ice cream.
He picks the ice cream.
He picks the bucket up and heads to the table, hovering near the drawers to get the ice cream scooper out. He doesn't bother to take out a spoon because he figures that an ice cream scooper might as well be the same thing, despite the fact that the spoons are less than four feet away.
He scoops the ice cream out and smiles sleepily at it.
"'nilla's a good flavor," he mumbles to himself. He stares at it some more before dropping it into his mouth.
"Best friends?" He asks the bucket and it's contents, "Let's be best friends."
Minseok waits a moment as if to let the ice cream talk.
"Right, right. Jongdae is. But you can be too," he seemingly argues to the ice cream.
He pictures the ice cream responding, "You can only have one best friend and that is Jongdae. But I can be your boyfriend?" The ice cream chuckles. Minseok thinks this over for a minute.
"Eww, no way. I mean, that's kind of gross. You kissing me. My lips would always be white. Maybe you two can switch?"
"What do you mean?"
"You and Jongdae. You can be my best friend and Jongdae can be my boyfriend. He does have nice lips."
The ice cream doesn't respond because Minseok ends up falling asleep at the table; the vanilla ice cream is melted on the tile and Minseok doesn't remember his conversation with Mr. Ice Cream in the morning (though he does mourn the loss of the ice cream like he would a best friend-Minseok's mother finds him wailing on the floor).
"You need to whack me. On the head," Minseok mumbles right behind Jongdae, head ducked-ashamed.
Jongdae turns to him, "What?"
"Uhm, I think I ate ice cream last night. I'm not sure though, it was melted on the floor when I woke up," Minseok sniffles a little bit, thinking of the poor ice cream spread out on the tile.
"You think? It melted on your floor? Your mom's gonna kill you," Jongdae replies, thinking of Minseok's overly neat mother.
"No, no, I didn't sneak ice cream into my room again. I just. I fell asleep at the table, so that's why I think I was eating it. She wasn't as mad as last time," Minseok mumbles, comparing his mother's almost-profanities earlier that morning to the last time when he snuck pizza into his bed; his mother had chucked his computer out of the window.
Jongdae laughs and Minseok ignores it. "So, smack me."
Jongdae does-"Ow." But then he beams down at him and pulls Minseok in for one of those one-second hugs best friends have, and Minseok thinks that Jongdae wouldn't be a bad boyfriend, flushing. He has no idea where the thought comes from though, and ignores the thought in the back of his head that says that he's been sleep-talking to inanimate objects again.
Sometimes Minseok closes his eyes and wonders how Jongdae, the dorky science geek with an odd obsession with Disney, would be if he were a boyfriend. His boyfriend. They would probably act the same, and things wouldn't change, except for the longer hugs and the lingering looks and the lip-to-lip action. The kissing. He feels a thrill go through his spine and smiles lazily for no reason.
After three years of thinking this, Minseok concludes that it is normal to think about this-being in a relationship with your best friend-because Zi Tao said that he did it too, with Wu Fan.
...of course, Zi Tao eventually got together with Wu Fan, so maybe it's not so normal after all.
Minseok attempts to diet again a few weeks later, and he promises himself that he'd stick with the plan for two whole weeks. Two weeks of veggies and small portions of meat and smoothies and yogurt. And the only thing he doesn't mind is the yogurt, most of the time, because he still gags at it. Especially the vanilla yogurt, because vanilla is supposed to be sweet like vanilla ice cream and not sour. But he sticks to it anyway, whether or not if it's vanilla or strawberry or cheesecake, which he tries to buy as often as he can. He eats the portion of meat-it's so tiny, he thinks, but he eats it anyway-even though he is not full by the end of the ridiculously small meals.
Jongdae gets kind of worried because in all the years he's known his best friend, he's never seen Minseok this devoted to sticking to the diet plan. He wonders if the green aliens from Toy Story have kidnapped his best friend, even though he knows that they are toys and are on the good side. It could happen, you know, those toys could betray Buzz Lightyear and they could turn bad. Maybe they even had powers-brain-washing, Jongdae thinks as he stares at Minseok.
The aliens-they've brain-washed Minseok into sticking to the diet plan. Something evil must be going on.
He adjusts his glasses when he sees Minseok with strawberries instead of Twinkies, and blinks rapidly when the usual fried chicken is replaced with a much smaller piece of fish.
He unabashedly gapes when Minseok gets a salad at McDonald's. And then Jongdae chuckles when he hears the rumbling of Minseok's stomach, but the chuckles fade away when Minseok returns his gaze with a glare.
"If you're torturing yourself, hyung, stop. It's fine," Jongdae mumbles one day at lunch, so quietly that Minseok almost doesn't hear. Lu Han nudges Minseok at the side and Minseok looks up.
"What?"
"You look like you're going to gag every time you bite into lettuce or whatever. You don't have to eat it, hyung." At this Wu Fan and Zi Tao let out chuckles; they also receive Minseok's rare glare.
Minseok stops chewing on the celery and tilts his head towards him. He waves the celery stick. "This is celery. Not lettuce. Comparing lettuce to celery-that's really stupid Jongdae."
"Whatever, you still make the same expression."
"That's why you dunk it in peanut butter," Minseok mumbles and shoves the stick into the tub of peanut butter. Jongdae watches as Minseok puts the drenched celery stick into his mouth, the expression of disgust almost hidden. Jongdae can still spot it though, and smiles good-naturedly, albeit wearily.
"So why are you 'sticking with the plan' now, of all times?" Jongdae uses his hands to gesture quotes as he asks the question.
Minseok shifts his eyes away from Jongdae, uncomfortable with the question. He doesn't answer, but Jongdae waits, leaning across the table; Minseok stays quiet, shaking his head when Jongdae pokes him on the arm.
When the bell to fifth period rings, Jongdae sighs and turns away, dejected, and he doesn't turn back when Minseok calls to him.
Jongdae's always been patient. He was born and raised that way, and he was especially proud of this trait because he knows that plenty of others have lacked it.
He also knew that he'd need a lot of patience when dealing with the one named Kim Minseok. He would realize Jongdae's feelings someday, and possibly even return them (he tells himself not to get his own hopes up but his heart bounces anyway at the thought; he gives up on reprimanding himself because there's no harm in hoping, right?).
He looks at the directions on the box and untangles the noodles boiling in the pot. Then, smiling, he checks on the meat that's cooling off.
"He's going to gobble this up in five minutes," Lu Han comments and Jongdae jumps a little; he forgot that the boy was helping.
"Then let's make more," Jongdae suggests.
Lu Han nods and takes out another batch of noodles. "So, why are you doing this?" he asks casually. His eyes slide to Jongdae by his side.
"He's obviously suffering. I don't like that he's making himself do this."
Lu Han nods again and smiles. "He'll figure it out sooner or later," Lu Han says and punches Çhen on the shoulder when the boy turns around with a blush.
When Minseok gets to his usual table for lunch, Jongdae is not there. He is confused for a moment because of their whole group, Jongdae would be the first to arrive-always. Instead, Yixing and Lu Han are at the table, both staring at Yixing's iPhone, watching a video.
"Jongdae says to meet him in the Culinary lab," Lu Han mumbles when he looks up to Minseok's confused expression. Minseok blinks and smiles at him, he ruffles the slightly younger boy's hair and laughs when Lu Han mumbles that he's just messed it up.
The boy reaches up to tidy back his hair and Minseok comments, "Oh, no worries, I'm sure that Sehun would think that you're cute with mussed hair anyway." Lu Han turns pink and Minseok skips to the Culinary department.
His stomach rumbles as he moves and his hands go to find the non-sugar fruit snacks in his backpack. He pops in a strawberry flavored one in his mouth and turns a corner, though gummy snack doesn't taste anything like strawberry. He doesn't taste like anything, to be frank.
But he does smell something.
And God, it smells good, he must think, because his feet pick up the pace and he's gravitating to wherever it is-it's the Culinary lab, he realizes a few minutes in, where Jongdae supposedly was. He steps in and finds himself a feast-chicken thighs, which look especially firm and juicy sit on a platter, mounds of Jasmine rice fill up steaming bowls, pork chops and whole steaks on clear plates, and tangled noodles simply everywhere-all set upon a table with two chairs.
Minseok honest-to-God gapes for a while until he feels saliva dripping down his chin.
"Wah," Minseok chuckles, "No one's here? Someone left so much food here, unprotected. Anyone can eat it," including me, he adds, "It's like, what was it? Hmm, oh, Beauty and the Beast. A meal left out unexpectedly."
"Hey, are you calling me the Beast?" a voice calls out, and Jongdae stands up after rummaging through a cabinet.
Minseok grins cheekily, "Absolutely. You smell like one."
"Ah," Jongdae feigns hurt, "You wound me. But," he laughs, "I'm rubbing off on you."
"Yeah," Minseok smiles. "So what is all of this?"
"Minseokie, stop dieting, okay? You're already perfect the way you are. So, I made all of this for you-uh, Lu Han helped too but not that much, I made it, I swear-and it's a good way to put my culinary classes to use, right?"
"But-"
"Ahhh, no buts! Stop it with the buts!"
"You seriously must be asking for a butt joke."
Jongdae laughs, "Shut up." He pulls out a chair, "Sit. Eat."
Minseok does and... Well, he eats. He starts off with the noodles first, and comments wholeheartedly. He goes on to the meat, and by then he is talking with his mouth full, sprouting out unending compliments.
"Thanks," Jongdae mumbles bashfully to each compliment-he hadn't expected Minseok to like it so much, but then again the boy hadn't had a decent meal in two weeks-and he ends up thanking Minseok thirty seven times.
Minseok pats his belly when he is done, satisfied and full. The he thinks of something-
"So, I'm Belle and you're the Beast?"
"Looks that way," Jongdae smiles, lips curling upwards. "But you're the one feeling like the Beast." Jongdae shifts closer, arms resting on the table. "But, you're not. You're perfect the way you are. You're sweet and strong and adorable and perfect. You don't need to change appearances for people to like you. I-We already do."
No words come to mind even though Minseok opens his mouth to say something, anything. Jongdae smiles his curling smile again and Minseok gets closer, closer until he can see the flutter of Jongdae's eyelashes and the strong, chiseled face up close.
"You're perfect, hyung," Jongdae repeats, quietly, subdued.
Minseok tries to open his mouth to say something, but he doesn't need to, because Jongdae's said it all for him, Jongdae's lips landing on his. The kiss is awkward, Jongdae's head twisting a hard left, and Minseok's hands in the air, unsure where they should rest. They finally settle on Jongdae's shoulders though, and when the two boys part for a moment, both smiling softly, Jongdae realigns his head to fit perfectly against Minseok's.
And it's still not perfect, but Minseok's heart beats faster than it's ever done in his life; his stomach churns, but even with all the food inside his belly, he doesn't feel like throwing up-he feels the completely opposite actually, completely elated and beaming and just so happy.
They stop for a while after that, both blushing madly, Chen's face dreadfully pink, and Minseok's cheeks stained with red. Minseok's heart still doesn't slow down, if anything it speeds up.
"Jongdae's a good kisser?"
Minseok smiles at the ice cream. "Very good. So you can be my best friend now that Jongdae's my boyfriend."
Minseok wakes up without an answer and wails when the ice cream is melted on the tile once again.
After he cleans it up, he rushes to his bed and huddles under the blanket. He calls Jongdae, even though it's 4am.
Jongdae grunts a hello that doesn't sound like a hello.
"Jongdae, the ice cream. I ate it again. Whack me on the head tomorrow, okay?"
Jongdae hangs up and Minseok laughs, cuddling into his long pillow, imagining that it's Jongdae.