(no subject)
"Then I added, for no good reason, that to me a vagina would always look like "a canned ham dropped from a great height."
I regret writing that, as people screamed and yelled, and I was even refused service in a lesbian bar over it. But luckily for me, the column in which I made that gynophobic but eerily apt crack-I mean, picture it: A canned ham falls from a great height, hits the ground hard, the weakest seam of the can splits, the meat product inside is pressed out through the long, narrow opening as the impact compresses the can, and pink meat unfolds like a delicate, if nonkosher, flower-is so old that it doesn't exist on a web archive anywhere and I can plausibly deny ever having written any such thing."
I probably should find this offensive, but I've seen far worse descriptions from people who ostensibly either find vaginas attractive or own one themselves.
I regret writing that, as people screamed and yelled, and I was even refused service in a lesbian bar over it. But luckily for me, the column in which I made that gynophobic but eerily apt crack-I mean, picture it: A canned ham falls from a great height, hits the ground hard, the weakest seam of the can splits, the meat product inside is pressed out through the long, narrow opening as the impact compresses the can, and pink meat unfolds like a delicate, if nonkosher, flower-is so old that it doesn't exist on a web archive anywhere and I can plausibly deny ever having written any such thing."
I probably should find this offensive, but I've seen far worse descriptions from people who ostensibly either find vaginas attractive or own one themselves.