Another failed return.
I have returned. Sorry for not updating sooner, but I've been busy with one thing or another, studying or celebrating the festive season.
I leave you with two of my poems I have recently written:
Supermarket Sabotage
You and me
Broad back
Hard-spent
Illustrious in our crime
It’s ten to two in the liquor store
&baby I’m not wasting time
Our hands as one
Pistol shaking
Martyr making
On our way to heaven
Fearless we rise
As diffident as we are
In our strapped out subway
And getaway car
Camouflaged cut out coupons
Masking our deceit
We raise our guns to take a look
As you tear off the receipt
A pause
Fluent as they come
To us the spider
Not the fly
Bang
Bang
Cry
Lie
You deserve no better
(Social scum)
It’s as simple
As this;
Every dog
Has its day
(Only today they were sleeping)
Can’t blame me for trying
Take your time;
A line a letter
Mistaken find
‘…that’s all it was’
As they stare
Light shifting into dark
Crashing eyes with glare
Upon the skin
Destruction beckoning
So close, so close…
(It won’t let me in)
Shut out…
But not this time
Down on the floor
Down in the dirt
Spiral the dust
A bullet for a kiss
Open doors; closed arms
Productive paradox barred
Frozen greeting saviour
‘Free with every birthday card’
At every station
At every queue
I see your face
Honesty
Vanishing into veins
As I dream
‘Have a nice day’
You say
Tarnished though you are;
Blood flows from your wounds
Like wine
Ripe with brutality
In our circle of depravity
Which we call yours and mine…
‘Think less, dream less’
Prevention is the cure
Staring into the gutter
Can’t believe you asked for more
You’re letting in the light
Breaking every law
And each one of us
The prisoner
Dressed in our shackles
Impure with dirt
The social umbilical
Still pure from birth
&it’s you and me against the world
Shot to shine
We never learn
Now we’re left to stand in line
Name tagged, outnumbered
Hands down to the ground
Cut the cord, reverse the code
So we can never be found…
Vanished
Like the money
Like the memory
Just as we thought
Just as we knew
You would react
Inflicted Infidels
Yet I don’t think you realise
You have made me this way
Day after day
We give in
An ailing addiction
Plugged in tight
As needles into veins
Frustrated vengeance
(Addictive misanthropy
&pride)
Lead us to the drip drop
Source of all you once denied;
Must I be reminded
Of our constant luxury?
I’m holding out for war
Right down here
In the liquor store
I see the signs
Our social construct
Will provide
Empty shelves
If you must
But emptiness
Is just an illusion
&I know you’re lost
with confusion
Stuck on the wheel
Never to live
Just trying to survive
Family fortune
Disjoint reality
Bring me back home
Stripped as you summon me
To fall behind
I degrade myself for you
Time after time
Products lay around
You swallow the pill
You swallow the lie
To comprehend in that
Which never dies
But remains
In regal resurrection
We’ve been young
For far too long
Oblivious
But always
Willing to try
Down on your knees
We say goodbye
Bullet follow kiss;
&‘I’m sorry to say
that it had to come to this’
But I’m holding out for war
Right down here at the liquor store
Ripping
Tearing out morality
Anything for a pay cheque;
Anything for you.
7/1/06
A.C.J
&also:
Pretty Little Mistake
To all my misery
I give you recognition
I can’t escape the forces
Between these four walls
Vibrations set to stutter
Deep inside, we’re still alive
And through the holes we mutter
‘Cellotape us back together’
Like notes in composition
We need each other
To grieve in time
Like fine cheese and wine
We’re setting on the scale
These different weights
To measure
But we forget
We forgive
And settle
With the heavy
Steady
Return of
Breathing
Gave everything
But this I can not give
Imperative as we are
You slip it out
And under my skin
You shall return
I know not when
Thoughts turn
To take trust by the hand
And lead her through to never
I’m standing to stumble
In a harem of emptiness
Bricks start to crumble
Cast against the wall
Like all the rest
The first to fall
Into black eternity
Hello hope, I knew you well
Like the key in the ignition
My sense of falseness
Demanded an inquisition
Farewell forever
In times like these
Our ties so strong
We can do no more
Than regret
That our stories
Ever began
Relics of the former
Stick to temple walls
Like plasticine;
What’s in love?
Just a cheap card
And some
Heart-shaped amphetamine
The cracks are splintering
All around
And still
I can not say
What I feel
So I tear down these illusions
To save my sanity
Mirror after mirror
Holding out for vanity
To all my memories
I give you understanding
Don’t reject me now
As I crawl into the dark
‘Don’t forget me now’
You murmur inside creases
Paper thin to touch
We’re holding out for love
…but there isn’t enough.
‘Cellotape us together’
Fix these empty spaces
All those pretty little pills
Sedate and speculate
You take out the noose to end your plight,
But you’re here, I’m there
And you’re holding on too tight
‘Just let go’
Oh how we separate
I can’t consider this no longer
Here we are
Artificial wounds now left to stitch
A hand, a needle, I can’t discern
They’re both the same, I don’t know which
Will be the key
Our hearts served on a dish
Our lives set to fast forward
We move in circles
Can’t let go
Be my adhesive
Stick me to a certainty
I can not dismiss
Don’t leave me hanging here
To rot in my own admission
Take me by the hand
&Lead me into never
They were the reason;
You were for him
What they could never be.
Take me by the hand
You were for him
The accidental.
The best mistake
He could ever make
I look at the painting
In a sea of colour
She sat so pretty
Staring at the sky
I see myself inside
I could only sob and sigh
It was just so beautiful…
Eyes are set to jading
As the clouds are slowly
Fading…
My heart strings a chime
A packet of pills
The only thing that’s left
This time
So you hold the lot
[But we were never meant to last]
Ransacked though they are
And deep inside
The rabbit holes burrow fast
Hiding what’s down below
Screams of horror
Screams of trust
Tear us both apart
Shattered we lay
Undiscovered
In juxtaposition
The epitomé of melody
In its formation
Down we have fallen
Like Abraham and Moses
We have been called
By deed, by duty
Into this abyss
Act it out, relive the pause
Please, just one kiss
To chase the cause…
Hold the nerve
I like it better
When you make it hurt.
The whole world could fall apart
And I could still hear my beating heart
Saying ‘Don’t promise me forever’
Adhesive set to cut
You stitch me back together…
…eyes both firmly shut.
A.C.J
2/1/06
I leave you with two of my poems I have recently written:
Supermarket Sabotage
You and me
Broad back
Hard-spent
Illustrious in our crime
It’s ten to two in the liquor store
&baby I’m not wasting time
Our hands as one
Pistol shaking
Martyr making
On our way to heaven
Fearless we rise
As diffident as we are
In our strapped out subway
And getaway car
Camouflaged cut out coupons
Masking our deceit
We raise our guns to take a look
As you tear off the receipt
A pause
Fluent as they come
To us the spider
Not the fly
Bang
Bang
Cry
Lie
You deserve no better
(Social scum)
It’s as simple
As this;
Every dog
Has its day
(Only today they were sleeping)
Can’t blame me for trying
Take your time;
A line a letter
Mistaken find
‘…that’s all it was’
As they stare
Light shifting into dark
Crashing eyes with glare
Upon the skin
Destruction beckoning
So close, so close…
(It won’t let me in)
Shut out…
But not this time
Down on the floor
Down in the dirt
Spiral the dust
A bullet for a kiss
Open doors; closed arms
Productive paradox barred
Frozen greeting saviour
‘Free with every birthday card’
At every station
At every queue
I see your face
Honesty
Vanishing into veins
As I dream
‘Have a nice day’
You say
Tarnished though you are;
Blood flows from your wounds
Like wine
Ripe with brutality
In our circle of depravity
Which we call yours and mine…
‘Think less, dream less’
Prevention is the cure
Staring into the gutter
Can’t believe you asked for more
You’re letting in the light
Breaking every law
And each one of us
The prisoner
Dressed in our shackles
Impure with dirt
The social umbilical
Still pure from birth
&it’s you and me against the world
Shot to shine
We never learn
Now we’re left to stand in line
Name tagged, outnumbered
Hands down to the ground
Cut the cord, reverse the code
So we can never be found…
Vanished
Like the money
Like the memory
Just as we thought
Just as we knew
You would react
Inflicted Infidels
Yet I don’t think you realise
You have made me this way
Day after day
We give in
An ailing addiction
Plugged in tight
As needles into veins
Frustrated vengeance
(Addictive misanthropy
&pride)
Lead us to the drip drop
Source of all you once denied;
Must I be reminded
Of our constant luxury?
I’m holding out for war
Right down here
In the liquor store
I see the signs
Our social construct
Will provide
Empty shelves
If you must
But emptiness
Is just an illusion
&I know you’re lost
with confusion
Stuck on the wheel
Never to live
Just trying to survive
Family fortune
Disjoint reality
Bring me back home
Stripped as you summon me
To fall behind
I degrade myself for you
Time after time
Products lay around
You swallow the pill
You swallow the lie
To comprehend in that
Which never dies
But remains
In regal resurrection
We’ve been young
For far too long
Oblivious
But always
Willing to try
Down on your knees
We say goodbye
Bullet follow kiss;
&‘I’m sorry to say
that it had to come to this’
But I’m holding out for war
Right down here at the liquor store
Ripping
Tearing out morality
Anything for a pay cheque;
Anything for you.
7/1/06
A.C.J
&also:
Pretty Little Mistake
To all my misery
I give you recognition
I can’t escape the forces
Between these four walls
Vibrations set to stutter
Deep inside, we’re still alive
And through the holes we mutter
‘Cellotape us back together’
Like notes in composition
We need each other
To grieve in time
Like fine cheese and wine
We’re setting on the scale
These different weights
To measure
But we forget
We forgive
And settle
With the heavy
Steady
Return of
Breathing
Gave everything
But this I can not give
Imperative as we are
You slip it out
And under my skin
You shall return
I know not when
Thoughts turn
To take trust by the hand
And lead her through to never
I’m standing to stumble
In a harem of emptiness
Bricks start to crumble
Cast against the wall
Like all the rest
The first to fall
Into black eternity
Hello hope, I knew you well
Like the key in the ignition
My sense of falseness
Demanded an inquisition
Farewell forever
In times like these
Our ties so strong
We can do no more
Than regret
That our stories
Ever began
Relics of the former
Stick to temple walls
Like plasticine;
What’s in love?
Just a cheap card
And some
Heart-shaped amphetamine
The cracks are splintering
All around
And still
I can not say
What I feel
So I tear down these illusions
To save my sanity
Mirror after mirror
Holding out for vanity
To all my memories
I give you understanding
Don’t reject me now
As I crawl into the dark
‘Don’t forget me now’
You murmur inside creases
Paper thin to touch
We’re holding out for love
…but there isn’t enough.
‘Cellotape us together’
Fix these empty spaces
All those pretty little pills
Sedate and speculate
You take out the noose to end your plight,
But you’re here, I’m there
And you’re holding on too tight
‘Just let go’
Oh how we separate
I can’t consider this no longer
Here we are
Artificial wounds now left to stitch
A hand, a needle, I can’t discern
They’re both the same, I don’t know which
Will be the key
Our hearts served on a dish
Our lives set to fast forward
We move in circles
Can’t let go
Be my adhesive
Stick me to a certainty
I can not dismiss
Don’t leave me hanging here
To rot in my own admission
Take me by the hand
&Lead me into never
They were the reason;
You were for him
What they could never be.
Take me by the hand
You were for him
The accidental.
The best mistake
He could ever make
I look at the painting
In a sea of colour
She sat so pretty
Staring at the sky
I see myself inside
I could only sob and sigh
It was just so beautiful…
Eyes are set to jading
As the clouds are slowly
Fading…
My heart strings a chime
A packet of pills
The only thing that’s left
This time
So you hold the lot
[But we were never meant to last]
Ransacked though they are
And deep inside
The rabbit holes burrow fast
Hiding what’s down below
Screams of horror
Screams of trust
Tear us both apart
Shattered we lay
Undiscovered
In juxtaposition
The epitomé of melody
In its formation
Down we have fallen
Like Abraham and Moses
We have been called
By deed, by duty
Into this abyss
Act it out, relive the pause
Please, just one kiss
To chase the cause…
Hold the nerve
I like it better
When you make it hurt.
The whole world could fall apart
And I could still hear my beating heart
Saying ‘Don’t promise me forever’
Adhesive set to cut
You stitch me back together…
…eyes both firmly shut.
A.C.J
2/1/06