RP LOG with scotcopper | Cuppa tea for the soul

Jun 14, 2010 23:58

Stuart was standing beside the bed in the guest room of Iain's apartment, a good portion of his things collected from Tom's sprawled messily all over the room. He stood in the middle of it all, exhausted to just take in the sight. It was two days after his operation, but it felt like a lifetime. Getting back to Iain's, he had just crawled into bed and slept, no one really bothering him or pushing him to do anything. He appreciated it, until it got to a point that he realised he needed things still back at the Notting Hill home. No matter how he tried to look at it, he couldn't stomach going there. He tried to get the balls to face it, but whenever he tried, he got teary and anxious, like someone had just told him he had to jump into a tank of sharks. He blamed the strong pain medication he was on, depression and anxiety were listed as side effects, so of course that was it.


Only not. He knew the depression and anxiety had nothing to do with the pills. Pills didn't stop him going somewhere to get his things after a bad break-up. In the end, it was Braden, Angus, Jules and Kenzie that came to his rescue. They went over there with Stuart's key, fully expecting to encounter the lawyer, only to find the place empty. It didn't take long to get Stuart's things. He hadn't been in London very long, and didn't have a lot of time to collect much. It was mostly just clothing, his work shit, some other bits and pieces like books and CDs. Now it was all piled around Stuart in this small room, and all it did was send a chilled shiver creeping over his skin, giving him goosebumps. Out in the rest of the apartment, it was just as much a shithole. Iain had supplied the good news that Ryan had asked him to move in, and he had happily accepted. Stuart was happy for his brother, someone needed to get it right. But he didn't have the capacity to help with any of the packing. He was in a lot of pain with his hand, and facing even the smallest things like showering and shaving seemed to take so much effort. He was barely functioning, but at least he was upright. Lucky there were extra pairs of hands. Iain would be shifted to Ryan's by mid-week, and the plan was for Stuart to go with him.

Everyone knew what was said about the best-laid plans, though.

Hit by a wave of unsteady dizziness and pain shooting up his injured arm, Stuart leaned forward to brace himself on the mattress with his good arm, letting out a ragged breath and squeezing his eyes shut. He was not going to cry... he was not going to cry... he was NOT going to cry. He swallowed heavily to fight back the distress again and then let his eyes open slowly, catching sight of the flower arrangement and Scottish teddy bear sitting on the nightstand beside the bed. No card, no note. He didn't want to assume anything, but he didn't want to discount it either. Would Tom really have sent him something after they broke up? Their final conversation hadn't been nasty. There had been no horrific argument or verbal abuse. There wasn't any hate or any vindictiveness. Stuart believed the truth, hearing it out of Tom's mouth. It had just sounded surreal, but at the end of the day, cheating wasn't the issue at all. It was trust. All Stuart had wanted was Tom to give him what parts of his past he needed to make their relationship work, and the infomation about Liam was huge for him. Now it was just all a blur and he didn't know how to cope with it.

A couple of tears escaped and slipped down his cheeks as he roughly pushed a pile of books and clothes off the bed and into the floor, not caring about the mess. He clawed back the blankets so he could just fold back into the bed. He had plans to start getting his things sorted and packed, but any energy he had slipped away again. He couldn't do this, he didn't want to. His heart seemed to hurt more than his arm, and he didn't want to think about anything logistically. When it came to it, they could just dump all his stuff in a box and shove it somewhere, for all he cared. But he didn't make it into the bed before there was a soft knock at the door and Stuart glanced over his shoulder to surprisingly find Kenzie standing there nursing a large mug in her hands. He straightened up stiffly again and turned around with a small frown. He didn't know Kenzie all that well, just in passing. She was usually in the company of Braden or Jules, so one-on-ones hadn't really occurred. When he spoke, he tried not to let the pain sound in his voice, but it was impossible. "Are you alright, love?" he asked her, trying to awkwardly adjust his hoodie under the strap of the black sling.

Kenzie gave a small nod and tiptoed her way through his things littering the floor. She held out the mug for him, really hoping he would take it. He looked terrible, and she wondered if she had looked this bad when everything with Braden had gone down the crapper. Only, she hadn't lost a boyfriend or a fiance then, and she definitely hadn't been recovering from an operation. He looked like he was in pain, and she could hear it in his tone. Plus, when she first arrived at the door, the way he had been leaning on the bed said it all, looking like he hardly even had the strength to remain on his feet. Angus, Braden, and Jules had gone with Iain and Ryan to take a load of stuff over to Ryan's apartment, but Kenzie had stayed. She might not have a baby bump yet, but she got tired easily and her feet hurt. Braden wouldn't let her lift anything, anyway. She was allowed to watch, and make tea, but that was about it. It took all her effort not to smack him in frustration, but she knew he was only looking out for her. She really loved him for it, she just wasn't used to having a guardian angel like that. Her inner independent chick still wasn't going to go down without a fight. "I'm all good, sweetheart. Which is more than I can say for you. I heard you moving around in here, so I figured you could use a cuppa like I could. Real tea, extra sugar, not too much milk." She paused and offered him a small smile. "I grilled Brades by text on how you liked to take it. Then I grilled him how you liked it when you felt bad. I didnae bring a biscuit, figured you'd just turn it doon anyway, so I ate it myself. Laddies dinnae deal with heartbreak with chocolate or ice cream... they usually go booze or... punching walls, like."

Stuart just looked at the mug in her hands blankly for a few moments, having to actually tell himself to reach out and take it. "Thanks..." he murmured, looking down at the hot tea. He managed to offer her a faint smile in return before he sat down on the edge of the bed, shoulders slump as he held the mug in his non-slinged hand. He didn't want to be rude and turn it down, or tell her to go away, but he really needed to sit before he fell over. It was the next best thing to be horizontal and curled up in the foetal position in a depressed ball of misery. "I'm really nay hungry. The thought of ice cream or chocolate makes me want to boak. More for you, though, huh?" he added with a small smirk.

"Cannae complain aboot that. I'm gonna milk the eating for two thing all I can," Kenzie said with a soft laugh as she sat down beside him. There was a moment of hesitation before she carefully draped her arm around his shoulders in a gentle one-armed hug. She might not know him very well, but she knew when someone looked like they needed a hug. She might not be a sexy lawyer with a cheeky grin and orgasm-inducing glasses, but a hug was a hug. "So, I figured if we're gonna be honourary family members, we should hang oot a wee bit. I know you probably just want to go back to your bed and be miserable. That's okay, aye. I'll let you do that, nay bother. I'm an expert in that, like. But I'm nay going anywhere until you drink the tea. Because trust me, you're gonna boak, it's better to do it with something in your gut. I'm an expert on that lately, too. I just can just sit here quitely, though. Nothing worse than being haunted when all you want is to be alone."

Stuart cleared his throat. "Actually, I dinnae mind company, I'm just nay much in return," he said hoarsely and took a small sip of his tea. It was exactly how he liked it when he wasn't feeling well. "I'm used to having people aroond me. Guess it was why it was a wee bit of a culture shock when I moved to London and lived on my own for the first time ever. It was a hard slog at first, until I met Gee... then Tom. That all just didnae turn oot how I hoped..."

"Gee's your partner, right? Braden mentioned you guys were pretty tight. I know what it's like to have a partner who has your back, someone you can confide it. Makes the job a wee bit easier. Just some of us should've learnt to actually tell them when you fall in love with them so the proverbial doesnae end up hitting the fan. Nay sure I'd change how it all went doon, though. I think it's helped us get to know each other better. Just cannae say I'm still overly sure aboot this pregnancy things. Scares the arse cheeks off me..." Kenzie started to rub his back softly, glad he admitted he was okay with company. She didn't want to be a pest, but she wanted to offer something. Everyone did. There had been a lot of wafting around helplessly and nail biting going on in the apartment while Stuart had slept. They all wanted to help, but knew there wasn't much they could do but keep reminding him they were there. "Have you spoken to Gee? She might be able to offer a wee shoulder."

"Aye, she would. Dinnae doubt it. I do have to talk to her, like. There's some things I need her to know." Stuart rested the mug on his thigh and watched Kenzie as she spoke. He couldn't deny he appreciated Braden's new girlfriend making the effort to get to know him. Sometimes large families were daunting and it was hard to come to terms with the fact there were so many of them. She seemed at ease, and he could see why Braden was so smitten with her. "You'll be great. Braden will take care of you. He's amazing with bairns. It's just always been a horrible tragedy that he couldnae conceive his own when he's a natural with them. I think you're both giving each other things you need... that's important."

Kenzie frowned a little and gestured to his arm. "When are you allowed back on the beat with that? Or are they going to saddle you to a desk and hope you pretend to like it? I know you coppers. You dinnae like being chained to a desk when you want to be oot there finding the answers. Must be a whole different realm for detectives, like. Braden said you're one of the best."

Stuart wet his lips and looked as his misplaced things around the room. "I'm nay going back. At least, nay in London," he revealed quietly. "I'm going back to Scotland with my parents at the end of the week. I'll be submitting my papers for a transfer tomorrow, once I've spoken to Gee. It might take a few weeks to be processed, but I could use some time for my wrist to heal anyway. London isnae where I belong anymore."

Kenzie's mouth dropped open in shock. She knew none of Stuart's brothers knew about this. In fact, listening to him admit to this quietly, he suspected that maybe no one but his parents knew... Tom definitely wouldn't know, and she gave a slight shake of her head. "N-No, you cannae just go. You gotta stay here and give yourself time to heal. Is it really a good idea to be making choices like this when you're still healing? Everything's still so fresh? Have you talked to anyone about this? What about..." She was going to say 'What about Tom?' but the words died on her lips. She didn't want to upset him. It didn't seem that Tom had been much of a positive consideration in Stuart's thoughts, or he wouldn't be running away from London.

"Nay matter how much thinking I do, or talking, it's always going to just be the best solution right now. It's my home. This is my second bad break-up in, like, two years. I was engaged to both of them. The first one was nothing but a mistake, going through the motions to make other people happy when she wasnae the right person for me. But I still loved her, and she still screwed me over like there was nay tomorrow. It was a big part of why I even ended up in London, or I dinnae think I would have ever moved oot of Scotland. But I did, and I came here to start afresh, throw myself into a job I loved and I had worked fecking hard to get. Then I met Tom, and he changed my life... I really thought I had it right, you know? Finally. I thought he was gonna be the one I grew old with, and spent the rest of my life with. Woke up with every morning, and went to sleep next to him every night." Stuart paused and frowned, trying to find the right words to explain it. "But sometimes, you can only take so much, you know? Sometimes, things suck, and you just want to know you're safe. You dinnae want anything unrealistic. When I saw Tom with Liam on the screen, I stopped feeling safe and just started wondering who the fuck was going to just come back and end up taking him away from me. I cannae live happily with that fear breathing over my shoulder. All those DVDS... I... tokens, trophies, however he explained them. How many others of them are going to have vengeful exes who want to hurt him? Or how many others are harbouring unrequited love for him, that they wake up one day and realise they want to pursue? But even then, Liam meant something to him. I saw it as soon that image appeared. He was different. It wasnae too much to expect him to tell me that someone else held that sort of place in his heart, was it? How could I ever be sure he wouldnae realise one day he should have pursued something with Liam?"

Kenzie had never meant to indicate he should feel like he should talk to her, but he was opening up and of course she wanted to help, to listen. He was Braden's younger brother, and even though he probably had a lot of people he could confide in and seek comfort from, maybe she was just independent of the situation enough to give him what he needed in a shoulder to cry on? "Well, you couldnae, darling. Relationships are... full of a whole lot of anxiety and uncertainty, but a whole lot of awesome if you can make it work. If you feel you cannae, then you probably did the right thing. It needs to be a happy thing. You havenae once said you dinnae trust him, but you also have to feel content, and nay scared. Nay one should feel scared in a relationship. But just do one thing for yourself, aye? Use these next few days to just stop, and think aboot what you had with Tom. I know it's hard. When you break up, you use all your remaining energy to try and nay think about it. But you need to, love. You had something amazing, something special. It deserves the thinking time. Even if you dinnae do anything else but lie in bed and think, you need to do this."

Stuart gave a small nod, looking sadly down into the tea again. His stomach just wasn't coming to the party, but he took another sip just to give him something to do with his hands and hopefully a way to wash away that lump in his throat. "I'm really tired, Kenzie. Not feeling so crash hot. I appreciate the tea, and it's made perfectly, but do you mind if I just crawl into bed right now? Unless there was something you needed?"

Kenzie looked at him sympathetically, feeling helpless. The thing was, she knew how he felt. It was just a relief he wasn't out fucking his brains out with random blokes and getting into trouble like she had been when her divorce had come through. She got up off the bed and carefully pried the tea from his hand. "Of course nay. I'm all good." She pulled the covers down, holding them back for him to slip into. "You rest, and give us a shout if you need anything. Do you need anything? Just say the word and I'll be your personal gopher."

Stuart crawled into the bed and pulled the covers up over his injured arm right to his chin. There was hesitation, but he didn't think she could actually deliver him a certain lawyer if he asked for it. "... I dinnae need anything, but cheers. And cheers for listening."

Kenzie couldn't resist the urge to tuck him in, and she ruffled his hair a little. "Any time, honourary wee bro," she returned quietly and snapped off his bed lamp. Suddenly, she had the urge to go directly to Braden and tell him how much he meant to her, for fear he might not be there when she woke up in the morning.

Word Count | 3,143

[who] kenzie wallace, [who] stuart evans, [ship] braden/kenzie, [plot] the ex factor, [ship] stuart/tom

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