i don't know WHAT is going on lately, but i've taken a 180 turn for the worst as far as males go... perhaps it's due to the lack of others to distract me, or my chronic pessimistic fear that every guy who seems even slightly interested in me will end badly somehow like all the others have... but within the last 2 weeks or so i have been PROFOUNDLY ( Read more... )

today i had a REAL day off! as in, i could do anything i wanted!! (and still can!) i went running, washed my car, mailed a package to owen, bought a workout bag, andddddd watched part of a movie, and layed in the sun. it was actually pretty boring, but it was nice to know i wasn't forced to do anything. i thought i would be at the courthouse for 2 ( Read more... )

trying to figure out bumbershoot is stressing me out. this is why i didn't want to go. part of me just feels like going and just seeing where i end up, because i always end up getting SO EXCITED to see a show and then i never get in, or i spend all day waiting in line or something. so i think i'll just go with a "whatever" type attitude. its not ( Read more... )

i hate feeling invisible and forgettable. it seems like every single person i meet who i don't work really hard to maintain a relationship with immediately forgets who i am. this REALLY bothered me when i was at western because of the shittiness that was the aftermath of cross country. for the entire season i was on the team, i had to work sooo ( Read more... )

wow! i haven't written in here in a long time- i just read a lot of my old entries and they made me laugh. i should be going to the gym right now but i'm "waiting for my dinner to digest" first. that's my story, and i'm stickin to it. only 9 more days of miller!! I CAN'T WAIT TO BE DONE WITH THIS JOB. i can't wait to never work there again. i'm ( Read more... )

i'm graduating in 4 hours!!!!!

FUCK ALL MY FRIENDS WHO ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS FLAKE OUT ON ME.

fuck.

i have been trying to start working on my papers (plural) for 3 hours. and look at me! i'm playing online! i just cannot get my day started today. its a miracle that i'm even awake right now, i could have slept all day. man, as i'm sitting here, i'm thinking, hmm, i could probably just not even work on my papers this weekend and still have time to ( Read more... )

i'm so restless. i'm stuck between so many dualisms right now. between being so excited for graduation OR absolutely terrified; between being not worried at all that i'm single because i'm 21 and that's not old at all OR terrified that i'm the only one of my friends not in a relationship and i'll be alone forever; between wanting to work for the ( Read more... )

can someone PLEASE explain to me what this situation is about ( Read more... )