(no subject)
~~~~~~~~~~
I opened the door and walked in carefully into my room. I took my time walking only to see the body still in my bed. He was sleeping soundlessly as the sun is already in its highest in the sky. I walked up carefully and sat down by his nearest side as his chest breathes in his sleep.
He looks so sweet and peaceful as he sleeps. His pale skin in the sun shine was so stunning to watch. And his loose blond hair is all over his face and all over the bed sheets. His eyes look so calm and sweet as they were close.
God he looks so beautiful
It’s so bliss to see him like this, so happy and calm. Like he has no worries just like before. I just wish everything was so much like back then. All of us messing around, finding each other, when we got to know Umma, when we first moved here. When we started to ever believe we could all start over and we have everything we always wanted. Almost like starting a new chapter in our life and that could help us forget about our past. That nothing could go wrong, that nothing could ruin this moment.
But when reality hits, you won’t even see it coming.
I swipe my fingers lightly on his cheeks as he breathes, feeling his soft and delicate skin. I smiled as I watched him.
God I love you so much Taemin.
I could hear the calmness in his moves as he turns to face me. I see him open his eyes slowly, only to smile back at me. He holds his hand up to brush them on my cheek.
"Morning" I told him.
"Morning"
He sits up carefully and lays back into the head board behind him.
I slide my hand down from his face to his free hand on his lap. He takes his other and lays it on mine.
"How are you feeling?"
He looks down at our hands. "Better"
"You hungry?"
"Umm, can we go out to eat?"
I can tell he’s still a slightly nervous. I tighten my hold on him. "Sure, I-"
I hear my phone ringing by the drawer. I looked over at it and then back at him.
"Just shower and we'll go ok" I got up and walked over to see who it’s from.
Victoria.
I walked back and kissed his forehead, and walked out and headed down stairs, towards the living room. When I could see he wasn’t really around, I picked up.
"Hey what's up?"
-"we're here by the hospital, I'm just calling cause she wants to know how you all doing"
I swallowed thickly as I tell her another lie, "We’re all g-good here, how's everything over there?"
-"Well she's stable for now; they manage to calm it down before it spreads even more. But we still need a donor."
"Umm Aunt Vic...Well I was thinking… well, maybe. Just maybe you think we could don-"
-“Nonononononono, that's what she wanted to avoid so don't even think about"
"But really it's not a problem with either of us and she-"
-"Onew she said no, she pacifically told me not to let any of you guys do it."
"But-"
-"No buts-.” I could hear voices in the back ground, but I can’t tell who they are. -“hey I have to go ok? We'll talk soon"
I signed. "Ok, bye"
-"bye"
I hanged up.
This just isn’t fare. We could help her. She’s our mother for god sakes! She gave us everything that not even our real parents gave us. She gave us a home, a mother, a family. That’s something none of us ever had. I wish I could help her in any way I can. I wanna do something for her. It’s like how I felt about Taemin when he was in his state. Useless, unable to do anything to help the people I love. It’s just isn’t fare, she doesn’t deserve this.
I run my hand through my hair and let out a sign to try to calm myself down. I turned back only to see Taemin behind me.
I flinch to see him. “Shit Tae, you scared m-“
"Who needs a donor?"
Shit.
I let out a fake laugh, hoping he doesn’t catch on, "Ah, just no on-"
“Jinki”
I pulled him into me and started walking him upstairs. “Come on let’s get ready ah? Have you showered ye-”
He stops.
"Jinki don't lie to me" he said in a stern voice. He crossed his arms on his chest. "What’s going on?"
I swallowed the lump that just appeared in my throat. This is going to be a long day.
~~~~~~~~~~
"Key oppa I said I'm fine!" she tries to pull her hand out of mine. But my grip got stronger.
"No you're not" I kept pulling her as she keeps trying to break free.
I glanced back behind me. "Minho!" I yelled.
"Coming!" he tells back.
"Oppa please I'm fine"
"Oh no, you're not" I keep on pulling her over toward Minho's car. We were almost there, only by a few feet.
"Oppa" she finally gets out of my grip. "I'm fine ok?"
I glared at her. "This is the third time me and Minho were called out of class. And your forth time going to the nurse"
"But-"
"No buts, Rina it clear that something is wrong"
She throws her hands down to tantrum. "Ugh! You are just over reacting!" she yells. “There’s nothing wrong!”
"We’re over reacting because we care!" I yelled back. I walked up closer to her. “Rina stop this, you and I both know you’re lying to yourself”
"Bummie maybe it is really just a stomach ach-"
"No it's not!" I pointed at him.
I looked back at Rina "we are going home, and that's final"
I took his keys and unlocked the car. I took Rina inside along with our bags. I got up in the front and got inside. I slam the door shut and buckled my seat belt. I signed and let my head rest back on the chair.
Why does she have to be so stubborn?
I sat there till Minho finally got inside and started the car.
It was quite the whole time and the tension is honestly killing me. I took in deep breathes trying to calm down, but they were other troubles running the air.
I looked at Rina through the mirror to see if it was coming from her. She was looking down at her phone but by the way she was typing I know she's mad.
But honestly can she blame me? Is caring so much a problem in this family? Are we really that much of a bother?
I looked over at Minho. The look on his face wasn't mad but it wasn't happy either.
Looking at him was beginning to make me feel guilty. I shouldn't have yelled at him like that. He doesn't deserve any of it. He's just being left out, that's not fair.
Ugh! Why is everyone making everything so difficult today!
We finally made it back to the house. He pulls over and parks out front. Rina gets out first and grabs her bag. I looked down at my hands and try not to flinch as she slams the door and head straight in the house.
Minho just sits there and doesn't say or do anything. He just sits there with his head resting on his hands. It was leaning on the door.
I didn't have to look up to know he was looking at me. I can already feel his glaze on me while I still look down at my hands.
I know he’s waiting for me to say something, but to be honest I’m kind of scared too.
He finally signs ad tries to step out of the car, but I stop him.
"Um, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you like that. It's just I was mad and Rina-"
He stops me by kissing my lips.
"I know" he says as he pulls back and lays his forehead on mine. "But if it's really not as big as she said it is, so let's just have her deal with it ok?"
I signed with a nod.
He kisses my cheek and gets out of the car. I signed and got out after and as headed towards him and walk inside the house together.
We went inside and Minho dropped his keys by the counter and headed up to his room. I saw Onew sitting back on the couch with his head in his hands, looking down at the floor.
Something’s wrong, I can already see it.
I walked over and sat down next to him. Minho passes by and sat right on the chair next to us. We all let out a sign.
After the moment, Onew finally broke the silence. "Victoria called; she wants us to go see her"
I wanted ton sat I was glad, but it felt weird. I shifted in my seat. For some reason it felt really uncomfortable.
"When" said Minho.
"Whenever, she already texted me the location.... She wants us to bring Rina too."
"We might as well tell her!" I said. It really makes no difference.
"She said that if we do she won't come, its better if she just finds out… when we just...bring her" he whispers.
"And what about Taemin?" asked Minho.
He finally looks up but doesn't look at neither at us. "He just find out today."
"And how did he take it?" I can't help to ask.
He signs. "He just wanted to be alone- right now" he barely says.
I put my hand in his. "Just give him time, he'll come around" I said.
He signs. "I know" we here the door open again to then have another slam shut.
"What’s up with Rina?"
"She’s mad because I took her home early" I crossed my arms and laid back into the couch.
"Now that you mentioned it, why?"
"She was called to the nurse and they kept calling us out of class" says Minho.
"Does Jonghyun know?"
"I don't know, I guess... He's probably o-"
And just like that, Jonghyun run through the door.
"On his way" I finished.
"Where is she?" he asked in a rush.
"Upstairs" signs Minho.
He bolts up in a flash and the last thing we hear is a door closing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Baby?" I hear him knock through the door.
I wrap the towel around my hair after the hour of trapping myself in the shower. I walked out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around me, only to see him right in front of the door.
"Baby you ok?" he pulls me by my shoulders and into a tight hug.
I push him back to see his face. "Yeah Jjong I'm fine" I give him a light smile.
He raised his brow. "You sure?"
I walked away out of his hold. "Yeah..."
We both headed to his room and closed the door behind us. I walked to his drawer and start to look through to which shirt I was going to wear. I end up picking the plain white one. I unwrapped the towel on my head and felt my wet hair loose on my back. I started to put my hands through only to feel kisses going down on my back.
I glanced behind me. "Jjong?"
I felt one of his hands moving up and down on my thigh as the other pulls my hair to one side. "I miss you" he says in between kisses.
"I miss you too" I say back.
His lips move from my shoulder blades to my neck. Pulling and nipping at the skin on there. I felt a shiver run down my back.
"God I've missed you" I could feel him groping my back as his hands hold down on my hips.
Thankfully he's not holding them so hard.
He kisses up my neck and behind my ear. He pulls my earlobe in with his teeth.
"J-Jjong" I choked.
"It’s been awhile" he says in my ear.
I bit my lip trying hold back from moaning.
I felt him smirk behind me. I tried to continue to put back the shirt but then I felt him grips my hips and thrusts into the towel behind me. Hard.
"Ah Jjong" I moaned.
"It’s been a long while." he whispers again.
I dropped the shirt and turned around to kiss him.
He pulls me closer and kisses me back. I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me in his arms. I kept on kissing his lips and run my hands through his hair.
My god I love his lips. They feel so good, and so sweet.
He slowly sits me on the bed without breaking our lips. My lips kept kissing him as we stand on our knees. I run my hand slowly down his stomach as my other kept holding the towel.
I can feel his abs through his shirt. They feel so amazing and nice. I can't help but smiled into the kiss as I feel them.
"Like what's there?" he smirked.
I kiss his lips. "Mmm"
He moves from my lips to down my body and to my neck.
God they felt so good, and warm. He is right though, it had been a long time. He then moves back up to my lips again.
"Get on your knees" he says in the kiss.
I obeyed and got down on my knees. I lay on one arm around my face as I use the other to hold the towel loosely.
I felt him raise it behind me and felt air all around my but. It's was cold and ... Weird. But I started to feel something wet and wiggly inside my clit.
"Ah-ah J-Jonghyun" I choked out.
It feeling so good. I grip the sheets harder in front of me. I finally let go of the towel and it slowly slips away to my side.
I try to keep quiet, but it just feels so good.
"Mm-ah" my moans kept escaping my mouth as I try to hold them back. I can already feel my stomach getting tight. I grip into to the sheets. I tried to push back into whatever it was inside me but he only grips my hip harder.
I flinched when the pain started to hurt again. I tried to look back to see his face, but with my angle I couldn't.
"J-Jjong hold o-"
I felt him stop. I try to sit up but he only pushes me back down again. I watch as his shirt land at the corner of the room and I could hear him unbuckling his belt.
"Jongh- ah!"
I fall forward as I started to feel pain on my clit.
It feels like I'm being ripped even though it was somewhat prepped. It hurts. It hurts too much.
You can tell him to stop if it hurts
I bit my lip. Even though it hurts I wanna tell him to stop, but every time I open my mouth my screams kept coming out.
I feel his hand starts to go up and holds on to my shoulder, grabbing me hard on them. Suddenly he starts to go faster and harder inside me. He pulls me back into his thrust to meet up with his; crashing them together.
But...But it still hurts so much. I wanna tell him to stop but-but-
"Jonghy-un stop wait-" my voice feels like it was whispering.
You can tell him to stop
"Jonghyun sto-p" I choked.
He continues to pound inside me. I kept taking in the pain, even though it hurts.
You can tell him.
"Jonhyu-AHHHH!"
I can feel his teeth on my back, biting me. I try to break out but he holds me tighter.
"JONGHYUN STOP, PLEASE STOP!" I yelled. "JONGHYUN STOP PLEASE STOP, IT HURTS PLEASE!!"
He finally pulls off me and I run to the corner of the door. I cross my arms around myself. My skin feels so tight and cold. I feel my hands shaking.
I want to hide. Get away from all this.
To get away from him.
"Rina, oh my god Rina I-I I don't know what came over me, I-"
I watch his every move. He moves up closer to me as he spoke. I try to back away but the wall wouldn't let me go any further.
"Rina I'm so sorry, please I-"
"Rina?"
We hear a knock on the door. "Rina is everything ok?" he banged.
I looked at Jonghyun as he was still standing across from me. His eyes were wide and still in shock.
"Rina were coming in" I heard Minho say. We hear them opening the door.
"No!" I yelled. "J-just wait, ok? I'll be... I'll open-" I looked around trying to find something to cover myself. I looked over and saw the thrown shirt that was lying on the ground. I took and placed it on my chest. Lucky it’s long enough to cover the bottom.
"Everything’s fine" I said as I opened the door slightly. Only letting them see nothing much other than me.
"Is everything ok? We heard screaming and-"
"Everything’s fine" I said.
I can feel Key glaring at me. But I don't even want to deal with him right now. I didn't even bother looking his way.
"Where’s Jonghyun? Is he inside-?"
"Yeah he's ...." I looked back at him. He was sitting down in the chair beside the bed. He didn't say a word; he just sat there looking down at the floor. Broken.
"...fine" I finished.
I watched Key and Minho look at each other and then back at me.
"Rina we-" Minho started.
"Guys, I'm fine I'm- I'm- just go to bed, everything's fine ok?"
They signed. "Fine, night" they said quietly.
"Night"
I closed the door and stood there as it shut. I wanna tell him something but honestly, I don't even know what to say.
"Jonghy-"
"This isn't the first time isn't it?"
I looked back to look at him. But he was still looking down at the floor.
"This isn't the first time I've done this to you right?"
"N-no but-"
"God I'm such an idiot" he signed.
I ran up to him. "No Jonghyun-"
"I hurt you Rina" he choked.
Something isn't right
"And you told me to stop and I didn't" his tears slowly start to run down his face.
I quickly pulled him into a hug and hold him close to my chest. Something is diffidently not right.
"I don't deserve someone like you" he whispered into my chest.
I crawled into his lap and hold him tighter. "Shh, don't say that" I whispered back. I rubbed the back if his hair, trying to calm him down.
He silently sobs into my chest and holds me in the hug. He lets everything out as his tears fall down his face.
He's in so much pain. Something isn't right and it's making him feel so bad. It's hurting him so much. I wanna ask why, but I don't want to make it any more painful for him as it is. I guess another time then.
He finally calms down and we slowly feel the sleepiness come a pond us. I watch as his eyes slowly come down into a close. I could feel his breathing on my skin as he lies on my chest. I move up closer and slowly kiss his forehead.
"I love you Jonghyun" I told him.
I rest my head on his and finally let my eyes fall to sleep.
A/N: I'M ALIVEEEEE. It’s been awhile but here I am :)
and guess who's birthday is in a few minutes.. MINEEE <3
web counter