(no subject)
i'm going to bed because i have an early meeting for work tomorrow. we start dressing the models & coordinating accessories to the dresses this week. our first show is chicago at the end of february. i'm hoping i get to go to the greece show. cross your fingers for me.
i deleted my number from your phone & ran crying from you. too too many heartaches and mistakes; too too many lies and infidelities. did they know i was asleep in your bed dreaming of you when you snuck away to send them those flirty text messages? did they know that all the nights they're not there it is me sleeping in your bed?
i cannot be the girl you keep tucked away in one corner of your room while you are out looking. you say they're just an ego boost - that it's nice to know that you're still desirable after i've hurt you. but you've hurt me over and over again and i'm never looking, never lying, never sneaking away. you keep me hidden, lies to our old friends and your new lovers. but i will not be your dirty little secret anymore.
i told you once that omission is betrayal - omission is the same as those lies you feed them, and the same lies you feed me. i may be the only girl you love, the only girl you chase through the hallways of your apartment building screaming "olive juice" at the top of your lungs, but i am not the only girl in your heart. in your bed.
after i deleted my number from your phone you found it again. sent me more text messages about missing your heart and being lost. and i found myself replying, falling into that rabbit hole again. "i miss you too & you're my only love. but i don't know if my heart can heal even one more time." you begged me just to try. but i've been broken & taped back together so many times that the lines are starting to show. i haven't been put back together right and there is still pieces of my heart, my smile, my freckles, my hope that i will never be able to find again.
so i asked you, begged you to lose my number. forget me & i promised to do the same. i deleted every piece of you from my phone, my bed, and tried to do the same with my thoughts. but this morning i woke to millions of millions of messages from a number i thought i had forgotten. i guess it's not as easy as pressing delete.
"i love you so much. you are my classic beauty."
"i've been dreaming of you."
"olive juice a million times and a million times more to the girl that i can never forget."
we were always good with words but you were always lacking actions. and how can i believe your words anymore knowing that they're just lines - just ridiculous lines to keep me in your bed, keep me at your beck and call. how many other girls have heard those words from you?
you never truly leave me but i am waiting for the days when your smile is in my dreams less and less. i want the days to stretch out in between the times i wake up crying because you're not there anymore. i took down your picture from my desk at work & i will try again & again to delete you from every piece of my life.
but now i am begging you -
please, please let me go. no more lines and no more lies and no more "olivejuice" please. i want to forget you & all that you've done. i want to gather all the pieces of me that i've given you & try my best to put myself back together. but i need you to just, please, let me go.
i deleted my number from your phone & ran crying from you. too too many heartaches and mistakes; too too many lies and infidelities. did they know i was asleep in your bed dreaming of you when you snuck away to send them those flirty text messages? did they know that all the nights they're not there it is me sleeping in your bed?
i cannot be the girl you keep tucked away in one corner of your room while you are out looking. you say they're just an ego boost - that it's nice to know that you're still desirable after i've hurt you. but you've hurt me over and over again and i'm never looking, never lying, never sneaking away. you keep me hidden, lies to our old friends and your new lovers. but i will not be your dirty little secret anymore.
i told you once that omission is betrayal - omission is the same as those lies you feed them, and the same lies you feed me. i may be the only girl you love, the only girl you chase through the hallways of your apartment building screaming "olive juice" at the top of your lungs, but i am not the only girl in your heart. in your bed.
after i deleted my number from your phone you found it again. sent me more text messages about missing your heart and being lost. and i found myself replying, falling into that rabbit hole again. "i miss you too & you're my only love. but i don't know if my heart can heal even one more time." you begged me just to try. but i've been broken & taped back together so many times that the lines are starting to show. i haven't been put back together right and there is still pieces of my heart, my smile, my freckles, my hope that i will never be able to find again.
so i asked you, begged you to lose my number. forget me & i promised to do the same. i deleted every piece of you from my phone, my bed, and tried to do the same with my thoughts. but this morning i woke to millions of millions of messages from a number i thought i had forgotten. i guess it's not as easy as pressing delete.
"i love you so much. you are my classic beauty."
"i've been dreaming of you."
"olive juice a million times and a million times more to the girl that i can never forget."
we were always good with words but you were always lacking actions. and how can i believe your words anymore knowing that they're just lines - just ridiculous lines to keep me in your bed, keep me at your beck and call. how many other girls have heard those words from you?
you never truly leave me but i am waiting for the days when your smile is in my dreams less and less. i want the days to stretch out in between the times i wake up crying because you're not there anymore. i took down your picture from my desk at work & i will try again & again to delete you from every piece of my life.
but now i am begging you -
please, please let me go. no more lines and no more lies and no more "olivejuice" please. i want to forget you & all that you've done. i want to gather all the pieces of me that i've given you & try my best to put myself back together. but i need you to just, please, let me go.