Fic: Bookends

[itsybitsyamelia]

"It sounds silly but I loved cheerleading."

Henry had been seeing Amelia for over a year now. He'd lost count how many times she'd used the word "silly" to describe herself.

"I'm --  more proud than I can say that I come from a superfamily and that I get to be a part of the Avengers at all but..."

Followed by a rejoinder to a judgment he never made.

"Cheerleading was mine. It was something I was best at or at least something I cared the most about." Contradictorily, Amelia's pride never let her claim to be the best.

"And then someone said that was just about Spider-Man, too." Two ideas paralyzed her with fear and indecision, often at exactly the same time: that she would only ever be associated with her parents and that she would ever stop being associated with her parents.

"And I didn't fight back. I thought I couldn't... But since making that choice I haven't felt really good about anything." This was an admission Henry was pleased to hear, and Amelia was relieved to make. She'd been holding everything back for so long. "I know that's when I changed."

She was restless in her seat and finally sat on her hands to stop the fidgeting.

"But I was working through it. I was going to get better and then when everything happened with Lindy..." She set her jaw. "I had to be better. Ben and Jake and his parents and my parents and Aunt Jess and even you and Tony needed to focus on Lindy. I needed to be okay."

Henry had guessed it was something like that. He'd thought it could help her -- the fake it til you make it philosophy -- but in hindsight, it may have been a miscalculation. Because now her eyes changed. Anxiety was graduating to panic.

"And I was. I thought I was. But. . . I was hiding and I lost track and everything got so confused and I forgot how to talk to people and..." Her heart pounded and her breath caught in her throat as she struggled to explain. "Now I don't know anymore. Everything feels wrong but it's just me. I can't believe in anything. And I don't know what to do."

Henry considered her flushed cheeks and shallow breaths. He walked around the desk and crouched to meet her eyes, his hands on her knees. Amelia forced her breathing to slow.

"Do you still love cheerleading?"

She breathed. "I want to.

He nodded. "I want you to focus on that."

"On cheer?"

"On wanting to love it again."

Amelia frowned. But she was calming. "I don't ... follow."

"It's not silly, Amelia, to love something that makes you feel powerful." Her expression turned thoughtful. "Why did you try out for the university team?"

She bit her lip. "The real answer?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I'd prefer it."

Amelia took a breath, and then another. "I asked Jake if he thought I should apply and he said yes, because he knew I loved it. That maybe I was unsure but I couldn't see me when I cheer... he can. He was sure."

He nodded. "That's not silly either."

"I want to be that girl again." She was pleading. Tell me how.

Henry stood. "You can't. That's all done. You're this girl now." Tears filled her eyes, but he ignored them. "Want something better." Amelia stared, and couldn't come up with a response, but the tears didn't fall. Henry leaned back against his desk. "When do you leave?"

"Tuesday morning."

"Okay. I want you to call me when you're settled in. We'll figure out a schedule."

Amelia nodded and stood up. "Would you... keep me here? If you didn't think I could handle it?"

"Yes." He didn't hesitate. The implication was twofold: he really cared about her well-being and he thought she could handle it. She caught her breath and launched herself at him; papers slipped off his desk as she knocked him into it with the force of her hug.

Henry Mills usually avoided Amelia when she was at the clinic as a patient. He knew she didn't want him to treat her, or see her, that way. But today was different and they both knew it somehow.

"Have you seen where you're living at school?" Amelia turned at the question and nodded yes. "Does it have a stairwell?"

"Not like this." She smiled as he climbed up to sit beside her. "I'll miss it."

"It's funny how we can get attached to a place." He understood. He had his own special places.

"Can I ask a favor?"

Henry chuckled. "You can ask."

Amelia pulled her lips in over her teeth to think. The words she wanted were out of reach, if she waited to find them she may never start. She took a breath.

"When I met you I liked you right away and I . . . felt like myself with you. Like I didn't have to pretend. I wanted that so badly. Something that felt real."

Henry's eyes were worried. "Has that changed?"

Amelia's eyes were anxious. "No. But I'm scared."

"Of what?"

She chewed her lips again. He waited. She shrugged. "Me."

Henry looked at her thoughtfully, his own lips curled in in a mirror of her expression. He stood suddenly, grabbing her hand. "Come with me."

Amelia shook her head in confusion. "Where are we going?"

He winked. "You'll see."

Henry led her up the stairs, as far as they went, through a door that opened onto the roof. Amelia was more than comfortable on rooftops. Like her parents before her she loved to sit and watch the city. She didn't remember telling Henry, but it was probably a common comfort zone in the superhero circuit. He stepped past the door to the corner and turned to watch her follow.

"What...?"

Henry's eyes twinkled. He held out a hand. "Do you trust me?"

A grin slowly spread across Amelia's face as she recognized what he was doing. She put her hand in his and closed her eyes. "I trust you."

Henry maneuvered them into a position that mimicked Jack and Rose, or close enough. When they were in place, he stretched out their arms and whispered, "Open your eyes."

Amelia acquiesced. The roof wasn't much like the bow of a boat and the city was even less like open ocean. The wind barely tickled. But that had nothing to do with it. Amelia flung her arms even wider and took a deep breath. Henry wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Do you feel better?"

She smiled into the light breeze, and nodded. "I love that movie."

Henry smiled. "Why?"

Amelia dropped her arms and turned to meet his eyes. Henry took a step back as she settled on the ledge.

"Rose gives away everything for love. She trades her whole life for...minutes." She took a breath. "And she loses it all. But she doesn't give up. She does all the things she wanted to do and all the things Jack wanted to do with her." She tried to take another breath but it didn't really work. Henry touched her hand. "She builds a -- whole new life -- and she -- lives for -- eighty -- years and --" Her voice was quickening with each word; she wasn't breathing. Henry grasped her hand tightly. "I want to be that strong! But -- I don't want to give away everything. Or anything." She shook her head and dropped forward off the ledge into his arms to cry.

Henry held her close until her heartbeat calmed and her tears stilled. She pulled away, eyes down. She hadn't meant to ruin the moment. She thought she should apologize but she didn't want to. She felt foolish but stubborn... and she'd only told the truth...

Henry knocked her shoulder. She hadn't ruined the moment. "You don't have to kill a dragon to prove that you could."

Amelia looked up. He knocked her shoulders again. "I wouldn't kill a dragon," she said, quite seriously. "I would tame it."

He was caught by her eyes, again. They better get off the roof before he did something he shouldn't.

Henry tugged but the door didn't budge. He started to pull out his phone but Amelia stayed his hand. He glanced up. Amelia gave him a crooked smile. "Do you trust me?" She didn't give him a chance to answer before she knocked him off the roof and swung away.

Becky caught their touchdown out of the corner of her eye. She looked over to take in the whole scene. Henry was grinning as they stepped apart, and Amelia looked quite pleased with herself, chattering away, and flushed.

"So. Do I discourage that or encourage that?"

Henry Hellrung glanced up and shook his head. "You leave that completely alone."

Becky leaned over the front desk, chin in hands. The Henry outside the window looked thoughtful. As they watched he nodded, and Amelia jumped to kiss his cheek.

"I think they're cute."

Her Henry frowned. "Becky," he started, but she pat his hand.

"I know. I'm just saying. Cute."

Henry felt a headache coming on but the doors opened before he answered and they fell silent at the younger Henry's approach.

"Do you have a copy of Titanic?"

Becky scrunched her nose. "The movie?" He nodded. "Of course. Why?"

"I've never seen it," said Henry Mills.

"It's Amelia's favorite film,” said Henry Hellrung.

Henry Mills raised an eyebrow. "And I've never seen it."

Becky glanced between the two. "Why don't you ask for her copy?"

"She doesn't know I've never seen it."

"Ah." She leaned over her Henry's shoulders in a half-hug. "Well, lucky for you, Henry's a romantic."

"It won the Oscar,” protested Henry Hellrung, though he'd admit to being a romantic.

Becky threw him an affectionate side-eye. "And?"

"I have a collection to maintain."

Becky shook her head and addressed the other Henry. "Let me know when you’re leaving, we can swing by the apartment."

"Thank you."

Becky nodded. "You're going to watch it alone?" Neither Henry bought her innocent act.

Henry Mills straightened. "Would you like to come over?"

"You should invite someone your own age." She leaned in over the high desk. "Have you asked out Winona yet?"

Henry pursed his lips. She'd been pressing him since he'd told her about Winona's introducing him to an underground dance club. Which he'd done to show her he was making friends on his own. Sigh. "They're going to the shore for the weekend."

"Who are?"

"Winona. And Amelia. And -- the group."

Becky frowned. "Why aren't you going?"

Henry Hellrung looked between the two, debating interfering, and wondering which would be more put off if he did or did not.

"It's a pre-college thing."

"And?"

"I'm post-college."

"And?" The Henrys sighed, Becky ignored them both. "What if Amelia asked you to go?"

"Amelia will have her brother and her boyfriend and her circle of friends she's known since childhood." He anticipated Becky's umpteenth 'And?’. "And much too much fun to miss me."

Becky looked from Henry Mills' exasperated expression to Henry Hellrung's smug one. "Okay, okay. But I still think Titanic is a date movie."

Henry Hellrung shook his head at her. Henry Mills just shook his head.

"Not to Amelia." He smiled at catching Becky off guard. It was almost as good as catching Amelia off guard. "I'll get my things."

Becky was quiet until he'd left the room. "You know who they remind me of?"

"Stop," answered Henry.

Becky crossed her arms. "I like to see my friends happy."

"Name one match you made that worked out."

She considered. "Okay, but you really liked that Swedish Olympian." Henry buried his face in his hands to laugh. "You know who they remind me of?"

Henry looked up. "Kate and Leo?"

She stuck her tongue out. "Us."