Scene: All Saints Day (1)
Amelia approached Ben first thing in the morning, just as she'd said. He was tired, he'd been out late and hadn't slept much once he'd returned. She'd come home hours before him, but she'd slept even less, though she pretended, and didn't come out of her room until she heard him moving around. She didn't want Ben or their parents to worry any more than they already were.
Ben was seated on the couch, eating cereal. Or at least holding a bowl. He was too tired to eat, but too practical not to. Amelia sat next to him and snuggled close, jostling the bowl as she wrapped her arms around his middle. "I guess you're stuck with me."
Her brother looked down and tugged a hair. "It's not stuck if I'd choose that option anyway."
Amelia tightened her arms in a hug. "What'd I miss after I left?"
"We watched a movie and had candy apples and stuff." He shrugged. "Have you talked to Dad, yet?"
She raised wary eyes to his. "No... not really. Why?"
"Because Dad is upset." He paused. She bit her lip. "I don't want you to think I'm upset with you. Really. I'm just glad you're okay."
Amelia nodded slowly. She looked like she was too tired to have any real emotions, but he read her nod as 'OK, I'll talk to Dad'. "I understand..." She drew her breath in sharply. "I'm sorry."
He tugged her hair again. "I accept your apology for the apple eating, but there's nothing else you have to apologize to me for." His expression shifted and he looked contrite. And angry. "I'm sorry. I should have kept Mal away from you."
"You didn't know." She looked away. "I should have told you right away. It's my fault for trusting what she said instead of you, and all the people I love."
Ben shook his head. "I've known for long enough that I could have stopped it. I'm going to talk to Tony and Steve about her." He intended to do anything he could to get Mal locked up.
Amelia was conflicted. A month ago she would have been thrilled that she'd been proven right and Mal would be held accountable. But today it barely registered. Tony or Steve wouldn't have let any of this happen if they had been the target.
"Don't blame yourself," she told her brother, because that was what mattered most. "I don't blame you at all. Mal picked me ...because I'm weak and easy to manipulate."
Ben pursed his lips. That wasn't what Mal said. But he kept his thoughts and theories to himself. Now wasn't the time. "I'm allowed to blame myself if you're allowed to blame yourself."
She laughed. It was a small laugh, but it made Ben smile -- she looked more like herself when she laughs.
"Okay. But I hope everybody doesn't blame themselves!"
He shrugged. "Knowing our friends, they probably do."
Amelia's eyes grew sad again. "I guess I have to talk to people before I go back to school." She sighed. "I wish I could just disappear... but then things would be worse."
"We'd all miss you," Ben assured her.
"You'd get over it eventually."
He gave her a sharp look. "That's not true."
"Do you think Jake's mad at me?"
Ben wasn't sure he liked the change in subject, but he supposed it wasn't necessarily a change. "I'm basically the worst person to ask about Jake. I don't get him at all." Amelia frowned. Ben shook his head. "The only thing we have in common is that we both love you, so if that's anything to go by then, no, he's not mad."
Amelia looked at her hands. "Why did you break up with Ginny?" she asked in a rush, and then, "What are you eating?"
"Uh. Honey Nut Cheerios."
She stole his bowl and took two bites. "Are you gonna answer the other question?"
Ben watched her eat another two bites. "I don't really know the answer."
Amelia met his eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something but was also afraid to. He didn't talk about Lindy the way he had talked about Ginny. She sighed and collapsed against him again. "When did everything get so complicated?"
"Puberty," he answered, simply. She pulled her lips in over her teeth. "Are you asking because you think you should break up with Jake?" She was still a moment before she nodded. "Why?"
"Because he deserves better," she murmured into his chest.
Ben stroked her hair. "I don't really know what that means. But maybe Ginny deserves better than me. Lindy probably does, too."
"Not like that." She tilted her head up to look at him. "I mean that Jake knows what he wants and I don't and it's not fair."
Ben shrugged. "It's up to you, but I think Jake understands that wanting to be with Amelia means... being with Amelia."
Her lip started to tremble. She started and stopped to respond over and over but she didn't know how to explain. She didn't know. "I'm sorry..." He kissed her forehead. "Will you be around after I talk to dad? Because I'm already a mess and..." She started to cry. "I need you because..." She shook her head. She didn't know.
"I'll be around," he promised. "I can always be around if you needs me. I can fly."
Her smile was small, and wet, but real. He smiled back and held her tight.
Ben was seated on the couch, eating cereal. Or at least holding a bowl. He was too tired to eat, but too practical not to. Amelia sat next to him and snuggled close, jostling the bowl as she wrapped her arms around his middle. "I guess you're stuck with me."
Her brother looked down and tugged a hair. "It's not stuck if I'd choose that option anyway."
Amelia tightened her arms in a hug. "What'd I miss after I left?"
"We watched a movie and had candy apples and stuff." He shrugged. "Have you talked to Dad, yet?"
She raised wary eyes to his. "No... not really. Why?"
"Because Dad is upset." He paused. She bit her lip. "I don't want you to think I'm upset with you. Really. I'm just glad you're okay."
Amelia nodded slowly. She looked like she was too tired to have any real emotions, but he read her nod as 'OK, I'll talk to Dad'. "I understand..." She drew her breath in sharply. "I'm sorry."
He tugged her hair again. "I accept your apology for the apple eating, but there's nothing else you have to apologize to me for." His expression shifted and he looked contrite. And angry. "I'm sorry. I should have kept Mal away from you."
"You didn't know." She looked away. "I should have told you right away. It's my fault for trusting what she said instead of you, and all the people I love."
Ben shook his head. "I've known for long enough that I could have stopped it. I'm going to talk to Tony and Steve about her." He intended to do anything he could to get Mal locked up.
Amelia was conflicted. A month ago she would have been thrilled that she'd been proven right and Mal would be held accountable. But today it barely registered. Tony or Steve wouldn't have let any of this happen if they had been the target.
"Don't blame yourself," she told her brother, because that was what mattered most. "I don't blame you at all. Mal picked me ...because I'm weak and easy to manipulate."
Ben pursed his lips. That wasn't what Mal said. But he kept his thoughts and theories to himself. Now wasn't the time. "I'm allowed to blame myself if you're allowed to blame yourself."
She laughed. It was a small laugh, but it made Ben smile -- she looked more like herself when she laughs.
"Okay. But I hope everybody doesn't blame themselves!"
He shrugged. "Knowing our friends, they probably do."
Amelia's eyes grew sad again. "I guess I have to talk to people before I go back to school." She sighed. "I wish I could just disappear... but then things would be worse."
"We'd all miss you," Ben assured her.
"You'd get over it eventually."
He gave her a sharp look. "That's not true."
"Do you think Jake's mad at me?"
Ben wasn't sure he liked the change in subject, but he supposed it wasn't necessarily a change. "I'm basically the worst person to ask about Jake. I don't get him at all." Amelia frowned. Ben shook his head. "The only thing we have in common is that we both love you, so if that's anything to go by then, no, he's not mad."
Amelia looked at her hands. "Why did you break up with Ginny?" she asked in a rush, and then, "What are you eating?"
"Uh. Honey Nut Cheerios."
She stole his bowl and took two bites. "Are you gonna answer the other question?"
Ben watched her eat another two bites. "I don't really know the answer."
Amelia met his eyes. She looked like she wanted to say something but was also afraid to. He didn't talk about Lindy the way he had talked about Ginny. She sighed and collapsed against him again. "When did everything get so complicated?"
"Puberty," he answered, simply. She pulled her lips in over her teeth. "Are you asking because you think you should break up with Jake?" She was still a moment before she nodded. "Why?"
"Because he deserves better," she murmured into his chest.
Ben stroked her hair. "I don't really know what that means. But maybe Ginny deserves better than me. Lindy probably does, too."
"Not like that." She tilted her head up to look at him. "I mean that Jake knows what he wants and I don't and it's not fair."
Ben shrugged. "It's up to you, but I think Jake understands that wanting to be with Amelia means... being with Amelia."
Her lip started to tremble. She started and stopped to respond over and over but she didn't know how to explain. She didn't know. "I'm sorry..." He kissed her forehead. "Will you be around after I talk to dad? Because I'm already a mess and..." She started to cry. "I need you because..." She shook her head. She didn't know.
"I'll be around," he promised. "I can always be around if you needs me. I can fly."
Her smile was small, and wet, but real. He smiled back and held her tight.