Fic: Seasons
The trip upstate to get a tree for the Mansion was an Avengers tradition. And like most Avengers traditions, the team of people who participated was always changing.
Amelia and her father made the trip every year, but this year the crowd that came along was small. While the group of active younger Avengers had grown over the year, many of them had their own traditions and commitments, or were away. Peter and Amelia were joined by Jessica Jones, Becky, Henry Mills and Rose.
"Henry, go with Amelia so she doesn't get lost." Both Henry and Amelia, for different reasons, threw a look of disapproval in Becky's direction. She threw back a smile calculated to appear both innocent and devious. Peter harrumphed. Rose giggled. Henry and Amelia sighed in collective exasperation.
"I was five," said Amelia, as she had every year since she'd lost her family in the woods, thirteen years ago. Usually Peter bought it up, but he was focused on making this a good day for his daughter and subsequently not teasing her overmuch. Becky seemed willing to pick up his slack, anyway.
"Can I pick the tree?" asked Rose who'd had enough of being lost in the woods and was only here as part of her plan with Henry to remind Becky that she was really Emma, and their mother. Henry had done it before, and had learned some patience in the years since, but Rose was getting tired of waiting. Especially when it included tramping around the woods or talking about Amelia's family history instead of her own.
"Usually we do it by committee." Jess pushed her hands into her pocket. It was colder than she'd like it to be.
"We're a small group, let's stay together," suggested Peter, who was not at all convinced going off alone with Henry was a path to Amelia's happiness.
Becky shook her head. "Don't be silly. This place is huge. Two by two by two." She pointed at Henry and Amelia, Peter and Jess, and Rose and herself in turn. Rose clapped her hands in delight and linked arms with Becky. Henry's brow furrowed at the sight, but Becky seemed amused. Peter and Henry opened their mouths to protest, but Jessica and Amelia pulled them away in opposite directions.
"Call out when you find something!"
--
"Do you like ice skating?"
Henry glanced at Amelia. The question came out of nowhere, but it filled what was becoming an awkward silence. While she was away he'd been able to avoid worrying about whatever was going between them -- despite people as varied as Vincent, Becky, and Tony's best efforts to make it their business -- but now she was here and it was unavoidable. "Yeah. Sure. You know, my mom didn't learn to skate until she was thirty." He smiled at the thought.
Amelia scrunched her nose. "There're no frozen ponds in the Enchanted Forest?"
"I ... don't know, but I imagine there are." His smile softened when he met her eyes. He appreciated how easily she accepted everything. "Mom taught me to skate, actually, in Storybrooke. I meant Emma," he clarified. "We had to show her how."
He looked off in the direction Becky and Rose had disappeared. Amelia took a step closer and touched his hand in a gesture of support, tentative because she didn't know if he would accept it from her. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Henry turned back at her touch. Her eyes were a storm of feelings, and unavoidable. He closed his hand around hers. "I want to talk about something else." Amelia blushed. "How are you doing?
She bit her lip, considering and dismissing the usual platitudes. "I'm okay," she said finally. "Tired."
Henry frowned. "Do the dreams still bother you?" She'd been under the Sleeping Curse a fraction of the time he and the others had and he'd hoped it would spare her. But he knew it'd been an empty hope in his heart. Defeating the nightmares depended entirely on the dreamer.
"I've learned a few tricks."
There was something worrying in her tone, though he couldn't explain what. "I can help."
"You do." Her tone changed, but it still worried him. "You're one of the tricks."
Henry slowed. "Amelia..." At her glance he stopped walking and took a breath, but the words didn't come.
She rushed to answer what he was struggling to say. "I'm not asking you to be with me forever and ever. That's not the only way the story goes! I want... I want..." She bit her lip, her eyes as wide as ever. "I don't know what I want. I want to spend time...together...figuring it out."
He took her other hand. "I want that, too. But I think right now it shouldn't be anything more than close friends."
"Why?" She was tired of trying to understand; she wanted to be told.
"You're a patient at the clinic and I work there." He knew she'd hate the answer, and her eyes flashed in confirmation. But it was too big a consideration for him to ignore.
She pulled back. "I'm not your patient. I'm not even the clinic's patient, I'm Henry’s. And I worked there, too."
"I know. But..." He took another breath. "Our relationship began because you needed someone to trust. Someone who would always listen to you and remind you to breathe. And that's what a counselor is."
"Or a friend." Her chest tightened; he was confirming every fear she had about their relationship. He was basing it on her problems. She felt sick and scared and lonely and angry all at once and crossed her arms tightly to try and hold it in. "Our relationship began because you needed someone to show you around the city."
"You're angry."
She glared. "I'm not angry, I'm..." He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm a little angry." With the admission most of her anger melted away. She blinked at tears. "You're telling me my feelings aren't real."
"No." He pressed her shoulders until she turned her eyes up to his. "I would never do that."
She swallowed. "You're telling me your feelings ... aren't..."
Henry couldn't decide which truth would hurt her more -- the depth of his feelings or the extent of his reservations. "I don't want to hold you back. You need to focus on yourself and you just started college. You should be getting the most out of every experience."
Amelia squared her shoulders. "Well... what if I want to experience you?"
He hesitated and Amelia pressed on.
"If you don't have any ... more-than-friend-ly feelings for me... it's okay. You should tell me." She spoke softly, but with clarity. "I won't hate you. I won't--" She made a face. "...do anything crazy." She breathed and her shoulders shook under his hands. "I won't run back to Jake. I'll just..." She made another face, and blinked at more tears. "Work hard at getting over you. Because I can't..." She looked away, put on a brave face, and turned back to correct herself. "I don't want to lose you." She stopped short from saying 'I love you' but her eyes were wide, and clear.
Henry met them directly. "You won't lose me. That's what I'm trying to explain. I want to be the friend you need me to be." His hands tightened on her shoulders. "I care about you. A lot. And I know you care about me." She nodded. "I think we're good for each other the way it is and with everything that's going on I think we both need that right now...more than we need to explore any more-than-friend-ly feelings." She caught her breath. "But that's different from saying I don't have any."
"You don't have to pretend--"
Henry closed the space between them with a sudden and deep kiss. Neither held back, pent up emotions were set free, and they were breathless when they pulled apart. Amelia fell against his chest and he wrapped her into his arms.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time." He brushed a hand softly through her hair. "I'm not pretending. I'm patient because I want to do the right thing."
Amelia tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "Why does the right thing hurt so much?" She started to cry in earnest. Henry knew the question and the tears were larger than him, or them. He knew she didn't expect an answer and he didn't have one anyway. He closed his arms tight and let her cry.
Rose and Becky were the only two to really look for a tree, but they found a good one. Rose told the whole story as an eager monologue as they rode the hay truck back up the hill to the lot and the shack that sold wreaths, kettle corn and hot chocolate. Peter frowned at new pink circles around Amelia's eyes, but she said she was fine. Just tired. She fell asleep on the way back to the city, curled up in the back seat, with her head on Henry's shoulder.
Amelia and her father made the trip every year, but this year the crowd that came along was small. While the group of active younger Avengers had grown over the year, many of them had their own traditions and commitments, or were away. Peter and Amelia were joined by Jessica Jones, Becky, Henry Mills and Rose.
"Henry, go with Amelia so she doesn't get lost." Both Henry and Amelia, for different reasons, threw a look of disapproval in Becky's direction. She threw back a smile calculated to appear both innocent and devious. Peter harrumphed. Rose giggled. Henry and Amelia sighed in collective exasperation.
"I was five," said Amelia, as she had every year since she'd lost her family in the woods, thirteen years ago. Usually Peter bought it up, but he was focused on making this a good day for his daughter and subsequently not teasing her overmuch. Becky seemed willing to pick up his slack, anyway.
"Can I pick the tree?" asked Rose who'd had enough of being lost in the woods and was only here as part of her plan with Henry to remind Becky that she was really Emma, and their mother. Henry had done it before, and had learned some patience in the years since, but Rose was getting tired of waiting. Especially when it included tramping around the woods or talking about Amelia's family history instead of her own.
"Usually we do it by committee." Jess pushed her hands into her pocket. It was colder than she'd like it to be.
"We're a small group, let's stay together," suggested Peter, who was not at all convinced going off alone with Henry was a path to Amelia's happiness.
Becky shook her head. "Don't be silly. This place is huge. Two by two by two." She pointed at Henry and Amelia, Peter and Jess, and Rose and herself in turn. Rose clapped her hands in delight and linked arms with Becky. Henry's brow furrowed at the sight, but Becky seemed amused. Peter and Henry opened their mouths to protest, but Jessica and Amelia pulled them away in opposite directions.
"Call out when you find something!"
--
"Do you like ice skating?"
Henry glanced at Amelia. The question came out of nowhere, but it filled what was becoming an awkward silence. While she was away he'd been able to avoid worrying about whatever was going between them -- despite people as varied as Vincent, Becky, and Tony's best efforts to make it their business -- but now she was here and it was unavoidable. "Yeah. Sure. You know, my mom didn't learn to skate until she was thirty." He smiled at the thought.
Amelia scrunched her nose. "There're no frozen ponds in the Enchanted Forest?"
"I ... don't know, but I imagine there are." His smile softened when he met her eyes. He appreciated how easily she accepted everything. "Mom taught me to skate, actually, in Storybrooke. I meant Emma," he clarified. "We had to show her how."
He looked off in the direction Becky and Rose had disappeared. Amelia took a step closer and touched his hand in a gesture of support, tentative because she didn't know if he would accept it from her. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Henry turned back at her touch. Her eyes were a storm of feelings, and unavoidable. He closed his hand around hers. "I want to talk about something else." Amelia blushed. "How are you doing?
She bit her lip, considering and dismissing the usual platitudes. "I'm okay," she said finally. "Tired."
Henry frowned. "Do the dreams still bother you?" She'd been under the Sleeping Curse a fraction of the time he and the others had and he'd hoped it would spare her. But he knew it'd been an empty hope in his heart. Defeating the nightmares depended entirely on the dreamer.
"I've learned a few tricks."
There was something worrying in her tone, though he couldn't explain what. "I can help."
"You do." Her tone changed, but it still worried him. "You're one of the tricks."
Henry slowed. "Amelia..." At her glance he stopped walking and took a breath, but the words didn't come.
She rushed to answer what he was struggling to say. "I'm not asking you to be with me forever and ever. That's not the only way the story goes! I want... I want..." She bit her lip, her eyes as wide as ever. "I don't know what I want. I want to spend time...together...figuring it out."
He took her other hand. "I want that, too. But I think right now it shouldn't be anything more than close friends."
"Why?" She was tired of trying to understand; she wanted to be told.
"You're a patient at the clinic and I work there." He knew she'd hate the answer, and her eyes flashed in confirmation. But it was too big a consideration for him to ignore.
She pulled back. "I'm not your patient. I'm not even the clinic's patient, I'm Henry’s. And I worked there, too."
"I know. But..." He took another breath. "Our relationship began because you needed someone to trust. Someone who would always listen to you and remind you to breathe. And that's what a counselor is."
"Or a friend." Her chest tightened; he was confirming every fear she had about their relationship. He was basing it on her problems. She felt sick and scared and lonely and angry all at once and crossed her arms tightly to try and hold it in. "Our relationship began because you needed someone to show you around the city."
"You're angry."
She glared. "I'm not angry, I'm..." He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, I'm a little angry." With the admission most of her anger melted away. She blinked at tears. "You're telling me my feelings aren't real."
"No." He pressed her shoulders until she turned her eyes up to his. "I would never do that."
She swallowed. "You're telling me your feelings ... aren't..."
Henry couldn't decide which truth would hurt her more -- the depth of his feelings or the extent of his reservations. "I don't want to hold you back. You need to focus on yourself and you just started college. You should be getting the most out of every experience."
Amelia squared her shoulders. "Well... what if I want to experience you?"
He hesitated and Amelia pressed on.
"If you don't have any ... more-than-friend-ly feelings for me... it's okay. You should tell me." She spoke softly, but with clarity. "I won't hate you. I won't--" She made a face. "...do anything crazy." She breathed and her shoulders shook under his hands. "I won't run back to Jake. I'll just..." She made another face, and blinked at more tears. "Work hard at getting over you. Because I can't..." She looked away, put on a brave face, and turned back to correct herself. "I don't want to lose you." She stopped short from saying 'I love you' but her eyes were wide, and clear.
Henry met them directly. "You won't lose me. That's what I'm trying to explain. I want to be the friend you need me to be." His hands tightened on her shoulders. "I care about you. A lot. And I know you care about me." She nodded. "I think we're good for each other the way it is and with everything that's going on I think we both need that right now...more than we need to explore any more-than-friend-ly feelings." She caught her breath. "But that's different from saying I don't have any."
"You don't have to pretend--"
Henry closed the space between them with a sudden and deep kiss. Neither held back, pent up emotions were set free, and they were breathless when they pulled apart. Amelia fell against his chest and he wrapped her into his arms.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time." He brushed a hand softly through her hair. "I'm not pretending. I'm patient because I want to do the right thing."
Amelia tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "Why does the right thing hurt so much?" She started to cry in earnest. Henry knew the question and the tears were larger than him, or them. He knew she didn't expect an answer and he didn't have one anyway. He closed his arms tight and let her cry.
Rose and Becky were the only two to really look for a tree, but they found a good one. Rose told the whole story as an eager monologue as they rode the hay truck back up the hill to the lot and the shack that sold wreaths, kettle corn and hot chocolate. Peter frowned at new pink circles around Amelia's eyes, but she said she was fine. Just tired. She fell asleep on the way back to the city, curled up in the back seat, with her head on Henry's shoulder.