• Thu, 06:50: So apparently gay marriage has been legal in My Little Pony since 1985 http://t.co/FEeo9orr

• Tue, 19:08: The Creation Of... the next pope… http://t.co/ZEP6pbcL
• Wed, 00:58: And on this day, I do declare...… http://t.co/Z59uMloo

• Sun, 21:12: RT @ callitot: When @ MrTeller dies, I bet @ pennjillette suggests a moment of silence and then everyone busts out laughing.

• Thu, 04:07: Cats cats cats cats...… http://t.co/idOIcWwT
• Thu, 04:39: Why oh whyyy… http://t.co/oAliQJJN

• Wed, 23:12: RT @ Jesus_M_Christ: If I could do it again I'd ride a giraffe on Palm Sunday. #regrets
• Wed, 23:13: Why must panel two turn me on so? http://t.co/3KapdUP2

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• Tue, 20:56: RT @ Remroum: Gay people can't do this. Women shouldn't be able to do that. But touch my semiautomatic rifle and you're attacking my rights.

• Mon, 02:39: Is this ad targeted at plushophiles like me?… http://t.co/hmuQYzuK

Not only am I a plushophile, but kangaroos are one of my favorite animals. I think that's a roo. I hate when ads get my attention so easily, but this one made me say, "Damnit, Speedy Cash!". Cute kangaroo.

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• Mon, 12:28: RT @ ConanOBrien: The autocorrect on my phone just changed "Christmas" to "Pagan Winter Festival."
• Mon, 12:31: RT @ TheTweetOfGod: The Pope isn't following Me. For that, he will be ex-mobile-communicated.