couples_therapy | 73.7 Chance encounter (from Week 72)
73.7. Talk about a chance encounter that meant something to you
[For Jason's fnl_rewind verse | Circa early Season 2 of FNL]
Emotional exhaustion was the worst. It was something Jason was becoming far too familiar with recently. He glanced at Lyla sitting beside him with a faint smile that didn't linger before he turned his eyes back to the sprawling road ahead. Beyond her, Tim was out like a light in the passenger seat with his head against the window, snoring. The trip to Mexico. What a damn disaster. At least, on a whole. He had a vague sense that he wanted to turn back the clock and stop himself from doing all the stupid things he did, but at the same time, it felt cathartic. Nothing like throwing one's crippled body off the back of a boat to get a much-needed wake up call.
It was Lyla's presence that his mind wasn't dealing with. He didn't want to seem ungrateful that she was there, but really, why was she there? They broke up, she didn't owe him a thing, and he didn't owe her anything, either. He couldn't find it in his heart to be regretful about the break up, and yeah, he had been pissed off when she showed up in Mexico at Tim's invitation. It was her choice that their relationship went the way it did. If she had never spread her legs for Tim after Jason's accident in the first place, everything would be fine. But would it? Jason highly suspected now Lyla would have always blamed him for being broken and not the perfect, pristine Dillon Panthers QB1 to match her perfect, pristine Dillon Panthers Head Cheerleader. It had been a fallacy. A mirage that disappeared into thin air when the real world bit down hard on Jason and sucked the pretty little idealism away. All he wanted was to try and clutch at the tiny sliver of normalcy he had left. No one could blame him for being deluded to the fact that there was no normalcy anymore. He was a quadriplegic. There was no grey area there. The veil of false, bouncy optimism that God would make him walk again meant he hadn't been allowed to grieve without upsetting someone. He hadn't been able to accept. Lyla was the one who cheated them out of the happiness, not Jason. He wasn't the perfect boyfriend anymore. No matter what her reasoning behind why she slept with Tim was, she still did it when Jason was lying broken in hospital bed trying desperately to cling to the hope everyone was showering him with. Lyla was unfaithful, Jason just wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay.
So, why did those kisses with Suzy continuously fail to leave his mind? At first he had thought it was guilt. Guilt that he cheated on Lyla when they were engaged by kissing another woman. That would make sense. But there was no guilt, just regret, and it wasn't a regret for being unfaithful to Lyla, either. Unfaithful was a language Lyla spoke better than he did. She had no damn right getting all self-righteous over that kiss. Jason clenched his jaw and gripped the steering wheel tighter, eyes trained unmovingly on the road ahead. If he looked at her again, there would be no smile. For the first time in his life, he felt an unwavering and deep connection with a girl, and Lyla had to fucking taint it. Suzy had no qualms with his quadriplegia. She didn't judge. And she listened. She got it. She didn't try to tell him it would be okay, she didn't try and shower him with painful optimism that he would walk again, she didn't think he had to be anything but just himself, and he had spent his whole life trying to be something or someone for everyone but himself.
Tim started mumbling something in his sleep, which Jason thought sounded suspiciously like 'Tyra', and Lyla laughed, giving him a small nudge with her shoulder. Jason merely threw a glance in Tim's direction, but didn't join in Lyla's amusement. What's the worst that could come out of Tim's unconscious mouth? A confession to sleeping with his best friend's girl? Oh wait. That already happened, and there was nothing unconscious about it. Jason stifled a sigh and put his hand up to rub his forehead with his wrist. He just wanted to be happy, and if he had waded through the delusion to see that his constructed happiness with Lyla ended a long time ago and didn't keep trying to force it because it was the last thing he had left in his life, he would never have missed the chance with Suzy. The kiss in his truck that night hadn't felt like any kiss he had in his life. Something was behind it that he wanted more of, but Lyla ruined it. It was like she was this negative presence in his life that just materialised whenever he was feeling the tiniest bit happy and content. He didn't want that anymore. He wanted to be free of Lyla Garrity. The Mexico trip did more than help him realise he really wasn't ever going to get out of the wheelchair. It helped him see that he wasn't Jason Street, top high School Quarterback in the country anymore. He wasn't beholding to anyone, especially not Lyla Garrity.
"What are you thinking, Jason?" Lyla's voice permeated his consciousness. "You seem restless."
Jason looked at her briefly and shrugged. "I just want to be back in Texas," he murmured. What he chose not to add, however, was that he really wanted to be in Austin...
With Suzy.
Suzy [giveuaride] and Tim [texas33forever] referenced with permission. Not binding on any Lyla muses.
Word Count | 932
[For Jason's fnl_rewind verse | Circa early Season 2 of FNL]
Emotional exhaustion was the worst. It was something Jason was becoming far too familiar with recently. He glanced at Lyla sitting beside him with a faint smile that didn't linger before he turned his eyes back to the sprawling road ahead. Beyond her, Tim was out like a light in the passenger seat with his head against the window, snoring. The trip to Mexico. What a damn disaster. At least, on a whole. He had a vague sense that he wanted to turn back the clock and stop himself from doing all the stupid things he did, but at the same time, it felt cathartic. Nothing like throwing one's crippled body off the back of a boat to get a much-needed wake up call.
It was Lyla's presence that his mind wasn't dealing with. He didn't want to seem ungrateful that she was there, but really, why was she there? They broke up, she didn't owe him a thing, and he didn't owe her anything, either. He couldn't find it in his heart to be regretful about the break up, and yeah, he had been pissed off when she showed up in Mexico at Tim's invitation. It was her choice that their relationship went the way it did. If she had never spread her legs for Tim after Jason's accident in the first place, everything would be fine. But would it? Jason highly suspected now Lyla would have always blamed him for being broken and not the perfect, pristine Dillon Panthers QB1 to match her perfect, pristine Dillon Panthers Head Cheerleader. It had been a fallacy. A mirage that disappeared into thin air when the real world bit down hard on Jason and sucked the pretty little idealism away. All he wanted was to try and clutch at the tiny sliver of normalcy he had left. No one could blame him for being deluded to the fact that there was no normalcy anymore. He was a quadriplegic. There was no grey area there. The veil of false, bouncy optimism that God would make him walk again meant he hadn't been allowed to grieve without upsetting someone. He hadn't been able to accept. Lyla was the one who cheated them out of the happiness, not Jason. He wasn't the perfect boyfriend anymore. No matter what her reasoning behind why she slept with Tim was, she still did it when Jason was lying broken in hospital bed trying desperately to cling to the hope everyone was showering him with. Lyla was unfaithful, Jason just wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay.
So, why did those kisses with Suzy continuously fail to leave his mind? At first he had thought it was guilt. Guilt that he cheated on Lyla when they were engaged by kissing another woman. That would make sense. But there was no guilt, just regret, and it wasn't a regret for being unfaithful to Lyla, either. Unfaithful was a language Lyla spoke better than he did. She had no damn right getting all self-righteous over that kiss. Jason clenched his jaw and gripped the steering wheel tighter, eyes trained unmovingly on the road ahead. If he looked at her again, there would be no smile. For the first time in his life, he felt an unwavering and deep connection with a girl, and Lyla had to fucking taint it. Suzy had no qualms with his quadriplegia. She didn't judge. And she listened. She got it. She didn't try to tell him it would be okay, she didn't try and shower him with painful optimism that he would walk again, she didn't think he had to be anything but just himself, and he had spent his whole life trying to be something or someone for everyone but himself.
Tim started mumbling something in his sleep, which Jason thought sounded suspiciously like 'Tyra', and Lyla laughed, giving him a small nudge with her shoulder. Jason merely threw a glance in Tim's direction, but didn't join in Lyla's amusement. What's the worst that could come out of Tim's unconscious mouth? A confession to sleeping with his best friend's girl? Oh wait. That already happened, and there was nothing unconscious about it. Jason stifled a sigh and put his hand up to rub his forehead with his wrist. He just wanted to be happy, and if he had waded through the delusion to see that his constructed happiness with Lyla ended a long time ago and didn't keep trying to force it because it was the last thing he had left in his life, he would never have missed the chance with Suzy. The kiss in his truck that night hadn't felt like any kiss he had in his life. Something was behind it that he wanted more of, but Lyla ruined it. It was like she was this negative presence in his life that just materialised whenever he was feeling the tiniest bit happy and content. He didn't want that anymore. He wanted to be free of Lyla Garrity. The Mexico trip did more than help him realise he really wasn't ever going to get out of the wheelchair. It helped him see that he wasn't Jason Street, top high School Quarterback in the country anymore. He wasn't beholding to anyone, especially not Lyla Garrity.
"What are you thinking, Jason?" Lyla's voice permeated his consciousness. "You seem restless."
Jason looked at her briefly and shrugged. "I just want to be back in Texas," he murmured. What he chose not to add, however, was that he really wanted to be in Austin...
With Suzy.
Suzy [giveuaride] and Tim [texas33forever] referenced with permission. Not binding on any Lyla muses.
Word Count | 932