Overloaded

[itybity_rose]

This is SO frustrating. I have a grant proposal due tomorrow that I can't focus on. I can't make my brain work. It's as if it is crossing its arms and legs, sitting itself down on the floor in a temper-tantrum sort of mood saying, "No. I won't do it. I won't produce words and writing for you!"

I also have 5 essays due in the next three weeks. Two

Comments

[itybity_rose]

Someone else suggested masturbation, but for me, it is not the answer, for it's human contact and connections, and physical touch, that I'm craving. I miss you, too.

[davio]

Hormones are fleeting.

You may think that since I'm in a relationship, it's hypocritical to say so.

No.

Ultimately, hormones are here, they are there.

I was once told that most people go through several "slut" phases. Maybe.

They are great to indulge, as long as you don't lose track of the "HERE-ness" of who you are in the center.

Gads, okay, maybe this post will be beyond most folks comprehension. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Blah.

D

[itybity_rose]

"Slut" phases? It depends on how one defines a slut.

I'm not sure what you mean be "HERE-ness." =( So, unfortunately, I'm not comprehending so well either.

[davio]

Gads, that came out so wrong it's ridiculous.

I'm not expressing myself well, but here goes...

Exploring your sensuality is great. It's wonderful. It's one of the reasons all the crap we put up is worth it just to be alive.

However, I've seen a lot of people get lost in there, and think the next pleasure, the next orgasm, whatever, is all that there is. They become permanently locked onto it, and their life revolves around every aspect of sex or whatever their indulgence is.

Trying to keep a center that's seperated from any one sensation or experience gives a pillar of strength inside oneself. For me, it is my sense of honor and chivalry. No matter how crappy life becomes, or how extreme pain or pleasure or what have you, that core is still there, and can give me something to cling to when every thing else is gone.

I'm hoping that came out better, but it's a lot wordier than I'd like.

D

[itybity_rose]

Gads, that came out so wrong it's ridiculous.

Hee, hee. That made me giggle. While the say less is more, sometimes more words are necessary for a 'proper' explanation. Besides, this was 100 times more clear, and I understand it completely. =)

[alcira]

gee when did I last see you ? in the elevator? I know graduation is coming up - nobody graduating is doing spiffy (especially when you're sick... I'm trying to get that boy to slow down)

the weather has something to do with feeling funky - it is really weird. and cold. and I'm going out to dinner tonight with roommate. public transit can get weird sometimes if you haven't done it enough. somebody in HH said "quit your bitchin'" when I was grumbling about not having a stapler. I said to him to shut his yap because bitching is what I do best. complain - complain and then keep going.

and booze - I'm kicking it for now, let's just say it doesn't do much. caffeine on the other hand - may help you - a little bit - I'm talking cappucino only. not red eye, not any sort of strong stuff. nor even double espresso. I'm going to do individual major - cause cinema calls and holistic health can suck my balls! the cert can wait until graduate school when writing class will drive me up the wall. hang in there I've told others, hang in there.

[hal__9000]

If it makes you feel any better, Dave, I do enjoy reading your journal quite a bit.