this made me laugh.
You Know You're From Texas When...
You see more Texan flags than American flags.
You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
You dress up to go shopping at the mall.
You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree.
You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.
You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.
You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud
Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department
You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents
You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.
You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"
You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.
Your Pastor wears boots.
There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.
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You see more Texan flags than American flags.
this first one holds true.
You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
no, and i have never heard of such a 72 oz steak which upon being fully consumed is free of charge. can we say gross?
You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
no. and why in god's name is Cowboy Boots capitalized like a proper noun? i don't even own a pair.
You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
all those years ago when i used to like dairy queen, i don't think they served "Hungr-Busters" and fries. nope, just desserts.
You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
though i dislike pretty much all fast-food, it's safe to say that if forced to choose i WOULD in fact go to Whataburger. McDonalds is just fucking gross.
You dress up to go shopping at the mall.
umm... not any more than usual?
You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree.
wtf!!! tumbleweed?! HELL NO.
You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
I'm disappointed when a food doesn't come in MILD flavor.
You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.
oh.my.fucking.god. NO, only hillbillies, trailer trash, and mexicans eat that shit.
You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
no but i can seen about 15 of them dead along the road in one day.
You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.
...no no i don't. please, enlighten me.
You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud
NO and NO.
Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department
hahahahhahahaha ummm... this really is getting SILLY.
You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents
under no circumstances would i ever a)know what the hell that movie was or b)allow myself to watch it.
You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
i'd much rather have wine.
You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.
i hate bar-b-que and Copenhagen. I don't really even like Mexican food all that much.
You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"
do they still exsist? i hate football.
You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
how would i know that as soon as they open their mouth? is it inscribed in their teeth?
You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.
RIGHT ON!!! fuckers finally got something right.
Your Pastor wears boots.
i do not attend church.
There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
maybe in a SMALL town? i wouldn't know since i've never lived in a small texan town.
The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
what truck?
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.
ooooh well yes!...errr... NO!! are you serious? i don't get them at all.
so, does this mean i'm not from Texas?