ADVICE...ish...
What to do if you love someone but they don't know it...
1. TELL THEM YOU ASSHOLE!
2. Write them a letter of affection in your neatest handwriting, spray it with your sweetest perfume, then STUFF IT DOWN THEIR PANTS.
3. Mail them a banana with "I LOVE YOU" written down the side.
4. Kick them in the nuts with a shoe that has "I love you!" written on it.
5. Make love to their dog/cat/bed.
6. Kick them in the ovaries with a shoe that has "I love you!" written on it.
7. Make them sleep with anesthetics then bound and gag them so that when they awake they'll see a large banner with "I LOVE YOU" written on it.
8. Run around their neighbor naked screaming "I LOVE YOU!"
9. Burrow into the ground during winter and create a makeshift "lovenest" for him/her and take them at gunpoint down into it and scream "Suprise!"
10. Tell them, shoving a banana with anesthetics in it down their shoe on their bed, screaming "Suprise!", naked.
Ta-da! All you need to know and more of how to tell your wo/man how you feel about them!