everyday i spend some time in the sun, working out my legs and heart and brain running laps around meadowbrook park. i go to work at one or two jobs. espresso, which couldn't be more of a dream job, or monical's, which couldn't be more laughable. sometimes both, rushing from point a to point b. down time is spent cleaning up my dad's house or ( Read more... )

dearrrr livejournal,
so i love you a lot, and you've been a huge(like a loser) part of my life for the past 4-5ish years, but i kinda met this cute friend named TUMBLR. i wanted to let you know that i'm going to try and post pure livejournal posts every now and again, but also, i want you have to have access to my tumblr account  because i will be ( Read more... )

right now is its own system of checks and balances. i am frustratingly unemployed, dozens of applications that fizzle out to dead end phone calls or an interview ending with 'do you have a boyfriend?', but it is compensated by books read, tennis games played, sunshiney days by pools with lemonade in hand. my parents are typically the back of a hand ( Read more... )

today was 300 kinds of needed, and i'm not even done yet.

so home's really great, like one of those things were i can honestly, enthusiastically, thumbs up, say it is just how i imagined and then some. but for maybe the first time ever i feel genuine pressure to make a plan for the rest of my life to at least etch some direction, and that's a new kind of serious that's throwing me a bit. 

i've been home for almost a week. it officially feels real. today i spent time alone in one of my favorite spots in this whole city and fell asleep. it was a complete accident. i woke up an hour later, boggled by how i slept more firmly in that hour on a couch in downtown champaign than i have in weeks ( Read more... )

so i kinda gave up coffee and switched to tea for a while. coffee had lost all of its flavor when i was drinking entire 12-cup pots twice a day to get through homework and not doing homework all in one day, so i changed my ways, ditched the java for green tea, and it was great. well, last night i realized my exams start in 10 hours and decided to ( Read more... )

tonight was the infamous english department party, and it was every bit of the "hoot" belschner told us it would be. i didn't have a drink during the senior toast, so my constantly jacket wearing american literature professor handed me a full BOTTLE of champagne to use, at which mark shook his head and uttered "typical" while he drank scotch out of ( Read more... )

all semester i've been writing things like "dear self, calm down" or "dear self, make a fucking claim" in the margins of my notebooks. sometimes i just get overwhelmed. i think that i've been writing these all down knowing i would need them now, while i flip through the notebooks looking for answers from weeks ago. there are 2 days left, and then ( Read more... )

my arms and hands are covered in ink, and i am full of so many kinds of tired. these past few days here have been great, full, great days, and i go to bed every night with the countdown of 13..12...11 moving down in my head, and how i am going to miss it here, and how i've made friends, made friends, made friends, and how that wasn't supposed to ( Read more... )