There's a Bra in My Freezer (standalone)
Title: There’s a Bra in My Freezer
Author: ivesia19 / Sara
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
POV: 3rd
Summary: Possibly crack! When Brendon offered Spencer and Ryan a place to stay while they got their new housing situations settled they only really said yes for the Tivo.
Disclaimer: We must consider if Ryan Ross is a reliable narrator. Discuss, English majors!
Author Notes: Based on the latest We’re so blogging update. I figured there’ll be a shit ton of porn, so I decided to not take the obvious threesome route. Thus I bring you ridiculousness! (done in like less than an hour - keep in mind!)
----
“Brendon!” Spencer yelled, his voice carrying easily from the guest room. The walls here were actually pretty thin, though Spencer had had that discussion with Brendon already. Really, he didn’t want to hear his best friend getting off. Especially when it was with his other best friend. “How many times have I told you to keep your dogs out of this fucking room?” He grumbled. “Bogart has been chewing on my shoes again!”
Spencer picked up one of the rather chewed up shoes and frowned. They were one of his favorite pairs.
“He didn’t chew on my leather jacket, did he?” Ryan asked frantically, poking his head in the doorway.
“No,” Spencer said, just a little peeved. “He didn’t chew on your fucking leather jacket. Just my two-hundred dollar shoes.” Ryan had a ridiculous love for that new jacket. He seemed to genuinely like it, which negated Spencer’s original thought that Ryan had just bought the jacket to mock Brendon, since Ryan could wear it onstage and still not sweat. Brendon, however…. Yeah…..
“Oh good,” Ryan said, obviously not paying any mind to Spencer’s shoes since his precious jacket was safe.
Suddenly, Brendon appeared at Ryan’s side, immediately wrapping an arm around the other man’s tiny waist. Seriously, Spencer had suspicions that Ryan had been harboring a tapeworm since birth.
“Sup, Spence?” Brendon asked, not waiting for an answer before darting forward and lapping at Ryan’s cheek. His nose wrinkled. “Ew, stubble. We’re not gonna have to deal with your transvestite phase again, are we?”
Ryan elbowed Brendon lightly in the side. “Shut up, I can grow a beard so much better than you.”
Brendon laughed. “Sure you can.”
Spencer was literally seeing red by now. Wasn’t anyone going to pay attention to him!? “Brendon!” he repeated. “You need to keep your dogs out of this room. They keep eating my shit.”
“I always close the door, man,” Brendon assured. He looked completely sincere, devoid of the shifty eyes he acquired when he was lying. “I swear, I didn’t leave the door open,” he said. And then looked at Ryan.
Of course it was Ryan. Of course. He probably fell into the door or something and broke the lock. Fucking clumsy Ryan.
“Ryan?” Spencer asked, trying to keep his voice down. He was going for an eerily calm approach.
Ryan bit his lip. “Um. There’s a possibility that I came in here for my cell phone charger and left the door open. But like a fraction of a centimeter!”
“Fuck, Ryan,” Spencer bemoaned. “Dude, these were my favorite shoes.”
“I’m sorry,” Ryan said.
Spencer tugged a little at his hair. “I just don’t see why you have to keep all your shit in here when you’re always staying in Brendon’s room anyways. I mean, why do we need an extra blow up bed in here? It just takes up room.”
Brendon shrugged easily. “Appearances,” he said. “Can’t have someone coming over and seeing Ryan’s flower power shirts strewn all around my room.”
Spencer looked around the guest room. There were two blow up beds (Spencer’s was overtly nicer since he was actually sleeping on it and all), various overflowing bags that all had telltale signs of Ryan’s imprints (it was the scarves), and a very chewed upon pair of shoes.
“You both suck,” Spencer told Brendon and Ryan, who were still arm and arm.
Brendon just grinned. “Well, we like to switch it up.”
---
The entire rest of the day Spencer had been in a bad mood. If he would have known that staying with Brendon while his new condo got situated would be this stressful he would have just taken Pete up on his offer.
Well, maybe not. He didn’t want to be stuck as a full time babysitter.
But still, he was pissed. Ryan was always so inconsiderate, and of course Brendon would take Ryan’s side on everything!
Spencer’s bad mood got to such a point that around six Brendon pulled Ryan into his bedroom for a ‘conference’.
Unfortunately for Ryan, for once Brendon actually meant what he had said when he told Ryan, “Bedroom. Conference, now.”
“Dude, Spencer’s being a bitch,” Brendon said.
Ryan shrugged. “They were a nice pair of shoes.”
“Whatever,” Brendon deflected. “This calls for some extreme measures.” He pulled out his cell phone.
“Who are you calling?”
Brendon gave Ryan a pointed look. “Who do you think?”
---
By the time they had smoked the fifth bowl, Spencer was starting to calm down.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you guys. I love you.” Well, maybe that was an understatement. “I love you so much.” In fact, he was good to go. Possibly because Brendon had been very adamant about Spencer taking two hits every time it was his turn.
“We love you too,” Ryan said seriously. He nodded. Brendon liked when Ryan got all serious when he was high. So matter-of-fact. Though, he liked giggly Ryan too. “I love you and Brendon loves you,” Ryan went on to say. “But Brendon loves me more.”
“I love you differently,” Brendon was quick to correct. “Differently, Ry.” He shook his finger. “Don’t go being a bitch now. Everyone deserves some good old-fashioned Bden love.”
Ryan laughed. Oh, there were the giggles. “You love me enough to let me fuck you.” He nodded again.
Spencer blinked once, twice…. Three times. He didn’t know what to do with that. “Hey, let’s play a game!” he suggested. He liked games. Way more than hearing Ryan talk about fucking Brendon.
“Not Risk,” Ryan immediately said. He turned to Brendon and frowned. “Spencer always kills me when we play Risk. He’s mean.”
“It’s the Game of World Domination!” Spencer objected.
Brendon laughed. “How about we play Future!” He tilted his head to the side, thoughtfully. “Well, no! I got it, let’s call Jon!”
“Jon will be mad that we smoked up without him,” Ryan said. “He’ll get sad and possibly cry.” His eyes suddenly got really wide and his arms flailed out, reaching to grab onto Brendon. “Bren, I don’t think I could deal with a crying Jon Walker.”
“Let’s call Pete and remind him that he’s old and has responsibilities,” Spencer suggested. “We could just call him and say ‘Hi, Pete. We’re twenty-one and you’re in your thirties with a child and responsibilities.’”
Ryan frowned. “I’m twenty-two.”
Spencer thought for a second. “But if we average, you’re twenty-one.”
“Oh,” Ryan responded. Spencer was always really good at math. “That makes sense.” He turned to Brendon. His hand was still clenched around Brendon’s shirt. “Why am I holding onto you?” he asked. “Are we going to fuck later?”
Brendon grinned, lazily but somehow still predatorily. “We better or I’ll make you sleep on that shitty blow up bed with Spence.”
“Last time he slept with me in there he smacked me in the face,” Spencer said. “His limbs are all wily.” He whistled low, just to hear what it would sound like (really fucking cool) and one of Brendon’s dogs came bounding over.
“Bogart!” Ryan cried happily. “Just you wait until you meet Hobo. You’re going to love her and we’ll all go to the Dog Park together.” He leaned down, getting close to the dog to whisper in its ear. “And don’t worry, you don’t have to play with the other puppies if you don’t want to. “
“Ry, you know that the Pet Psychic said that socialization is important,” Brendon said.
Ryan shrugged. “I don’t want the other dirty dogs playing with my baby.” He smiled. “And your baby.” He laughed, delighted. “We should call Pete and tell him that we have babies too.” Spencer raised his eyebrow. “Or not,” Ryan amended.
Spencer let himself sink down closer to the dog, letting a hand run through its fur. “You shouldn’t eat my shoes,” he said. He looked around inconspicuously. “Ryan’s leather jacket tastes way better.”
“Hey!” Ryan objected.
Spencer shrugged.
---
Other stories!
Author: ivesia19 / Sara
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
POV: 3rd
Summary: Possibly crack! When Brendon offered Spencer and Ryan a place to stay while they got their new housing situations settled they only really said yes for the Tivo.
Disclaimer: We must consider if Ryan Ross is a reliable narrator. Discuss, English majors!
Author Notes: Based on the latest We’re so blogging update. I figured there’ll be a shit ton of porn, so I decided to not take the obvious threesome route. Thus I bring you ridiculousness! (done in like less than an hour - keep in mind!)
----
“Brendon!” Spencer yelled, his voice carrying easily from the guest room. The walls here were actually pretty thin, though Spencer had had that discussion with Brendon already. Really, he didn’t want to hear his best friend getting off. Especially when it was with his other best friend. “How many times have I told you to keep your dogs out of this fucking room?” He grumbled. “Bogart has been chewing on my shoes again!”
Spencer picked up one of the rather chewed up shoes and frowned. They were one of his favorite pairs.
“He didn’t chew on my leather jacket, did he?” Ryan asked frantically, poking his head in the doorway.
“No,” Spencer said, just a little peeved. “He didn’t chew on your fucking leather jacket. Just my two-hundred dollar shoes.” Ryan had a ridiculous love for that new jacket. He seemed to genuinely like it, which negated Spencer’s original thought that Ryan had just bought the jacket to mock Brendon, since Ryan could wear it onstage and still not sweat. Brendon, however…. Yeah…..
“Oh good,” Ryan said, obviously not paying any mind to Spencer’s shoes since his precious jacket was safe.
Suddenly, Brendon appeared at Ryan’s side, immediately wrapping an arm around the other man’s tiny waist. Seriously, Spencer had suspicions that Ryan had been harboring a tapeworm since birth.
“Sup, Spence?” Brendon asked, not waiting for an answer before darting forward and lapping at Ryan’s cheek. His nose wrinkled. “Ew, stubble. We’re not gonna have to deal with your transvestite phase again, are we?”
Ryan elbowed Brendon lightly in the side. “Shut up, I can grow a beard so much better than you.”
Brendon laughed. “Sure you can.”
Spencer was literally seeing red by now. Wasn’t anyone going to pay attention to him!? “Brendon!” he repeated. “You need to keep your dogs out of this room. They keep eating my shit.”
“I always close the door, man,” Brendon assured. He looked completely sincere, devoid of the shifty eyes he acquired when he was lying. “I swear, I didn’t leave the door open,” he said. And then looked at Ryan.
Of course it was Ryan. Of course. He probably fell into the door or something and broke the lock. Fucking clumsy Ryan.
“Ryan?” Spencer asked, trying to keep his voice down. He was going for an eerily calm approach.
Ryan bit his lip. “Um. There’s a possibility that I came in here for my cell phone charger and left the door open. But like a fraction of a centimeter!”
“Fuck, Ryan,” Spencer bemoaned. “Dude, these were my favorite shoes.”
“I’m sorry,” Ryan said.
Spencer tugged a little at his hair. “I just don’t see why you have to keep all your shit in here when you’re always staying in Brendon’s room anyways. I mean, why do we need an extra blow up bed in here? It just takes up room.”
Brendon shrugged easily. “Appearances,” he said. “Can’t have someone coming over and seeing Ryan’s flower power shirts strewn all around my room.”
Spencer looked around the guest room. There were two blow up beds (Spencer’s was overtly nicer since he was actually sleeping on it and all), various overflowing bags that all had telltale signs of Ryan’s imprints (it was the scarves), and a very chewed upon pair of shoes.
“You both suck,” Spencer told Brendon and Ryan, who were still arm and arm.
Brendon just grinned. “Well, we like to switch it up.”
---
The entire rest of the day Spencer had been in a bad mood. If he would have known that staying with Brendon while his new condo got situated would be this stressful he would have just taken Pete up on his offer.
Well, maybe not. He didn’t want to be stuck as a full time babysitter.
But still, he was pissed. Ryan was always so inconsiderate, and of course Brendon would take Ryan’s side on everything!
Spencer’s bad mood got to such a point that around six Brendon pulled Ryan into his bedroom for a ‘conference’.
Unfortunately for Ryan, for once Brendon actually meant what he had said when he told Ryan, “Bedroom. Conference, now.”
“Dude, Spencer’s being a bitch,” Brendon said.
Ryan shrugged. “They were a nice pair of shoes.”
“Whatever,” Brendon deflected. “This calls for some extreme measures.” He pulled out his cell phone.
“Who are you calling?”
Brendon gave Ryan a pointed look. “Who do you think?”
---
By the time they had smoked the fifth bowl, Spencer was starting to calm down.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you guys. I love you.” Well, maybe that was an understatement. “I love you so much.” In fact, he was good to go. Possibly because Brendon had been very adamant about Spencer taking two hits every time it was his turn.
“We love you too,” Ryan said seriously. He nodded. Brendon liked when Ryan got all serious when he was high. So matter-of-fact. Though, he liked giggly Ryan too. “I love you and Brendon loves you,” Ryan went on to say. “But Brendon loves me more.”
“I love you differently,” Brendon was quick to correct. “Differently, Ry.” He shook his finger. “Don’t go being a bitch now. Everyone deserves some good old-fashioned Bden love.”
Ryan laughed. Oh, there were the giggles. “You love me enough to let me fuck you.” He nodded again.
Spencer blinked once, twice…. Three times. He didn’t know what to do with that. “Hey, let’s play a game!” he suggested. He liked games. Way more than hearing Ryan talk about fucking Brendon.
“Not Risk,” Ryan immediately said. He turned to Brendon and frowned. “Spencer always kills me when we play Risk. He’s mean.”
“It’s the Game of World Domination!” Spencer objected.
Brendon laughed. “How about we play Future!” He tilted his head to the side, thoughtfully. “Well, no! I got it, let’s call Jon!”
“Jon will be mad that we smoked up without him,” Ryan said. “He’ll get sad and possibly cry.” His eyes suddenly got really wide and his arms flailed out, reaching to grab onto Brendon. “Bren, I don’t think I could deal with a crying Jon Walker.”
“Let’s call Pete and remind him that he’s old and has responsibilities,” Spencer suggested. “We could just call him and say ‘Hi, Pete. We’re twenty-one and you’re in your thirties with a child and responsibilities.’”
Ryan frowned. “I’m twenty-two.”
Spencer thought for a second. “But if we average, you’re twenty-one.”
“Oh,” Ryan responded. Spencer was always really good at math. “That makes sense.” He turned to Brendon. His hand was still clenched around Brendon’s shirt. “Why am I holding onto you?” he asked. “Are we going to fuck later?”
Brendon grinned, lazily but somehow still predatorily. “We better or I’ll make you sleep on that shitty blow up bed with Spence.”
“Last time he slept with me in there he smacked me in the face,” Spencer said. “His limbs are all wily.” He whistled low, just to hear what it would sound like (really fucking cool) and one of Brendon’s dogs came bounding over.
“Bogart!” Ryan cried happily. “Just you wait until you meet Hobo. You’re going to love her and we’ll all go to the Dog Park together.” He leaned down, getting close to the dog to whisper in its ear. “And don’t worry, you don’t have to play with the other puppies if you don’t want to. “
“Ry, you know that the Pet Psychic said that socialization is important,” Brendon said.
Ryan shrugged. “I don’t want the other dirty dogs playing with my baby.” He smiled. “And your baby.” He laughed, delighted. “We should call Pete and tell him that we have babies too.” Spencer raised his eyebrow. “Or not,” Ryan amended.
Spencer let himself sink down closer to the dog, letting a hand run through its fur. “You shouldn’t eat my shoes,” he said. He looked around inconspicuously. “Ryan’s leather jacket tastes way better.”
“Hey!” Ryan objected.
Spencer shrugged.
---
Other stories!