(un)expendable [2/2]

[ivoryroyale]

Title: (un)expendable
Author: ivoryroyale
Pairing: Daehyun/Youngjae
Genre: angst, romance
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: sexual situations, alcohol, mild violence, mentions of bullying, character death
Summary: Youngjae's an undercover cop. It was supposed to stay that way, but then Jung Daehyun happened.
Note: 11,431 words. Because Minnie has amazing prompts.

(un)expendable

Part 1

Three days later, when Youngjae's at his apartment and he's packed up all his things when he's ready to move out and into the hangout, he sits on his bed, bags on either side of him, listening through the transmitter. He's supposed to be on his way to the garage, was supposed to be there an hour ago, but he's sort of freaking out at the moment.

It's not because he thinks it's going to be dangerous moving into a home with five dangerous gang members. It's not even because he's worried about messing up the plan anymore. It's because he's been visiting every single day, has been listening and laughing to their jokes, to their quirks, and Youngjae's learned that B.A.P isn't as bad as he expected them to be.

They aren’t dangerous, they don’t scheme everyday about how to wreak mayhem, and they don’t obsess over money, or cars, or even girls and sex.

They just talk. Like normal people.

It confuses Youngjae to no end, because he’s supposed to hate them-he’s supposed to feel nothing at all when it comes to them, but as he listens to Yongguk’s gruff voice talking about his day, hears Himchan nagging about keeping his car equipment neat, catches Jongup and Junhong highfiving each other because they were the ones who messed it up, he finds himself caring a little more each day.

And when he hears Daehyun say, Busan accent a little less prominent, because Youngjae’s been helping him with it, “When did Youngjae say he was coming back?” all he feels is pride.

(Maybe even a little bit more than that.)

When Youngjae comes crashing into the garage door, bags filling his arms, instead of help, he's ambushed with a hug from Jongup.

That, apparently, is a sign for the rest of the group to form a giant dog pile on top of Youngjae and his stuff.

He screams, "Watch my laptop!" before Yongguk and Junhong come tumbling onto his legs and Daehyun jumps onto their backs. Himchan, at least, has the courtesy to move his stuff away before he jumps onto Jongup's back and consequently crushes Youngjae's windpipe.

For some reason, Youngjae's laughing, even though he should be yelling at them to get off.

"Sorry." Yongguk says, leading Youngjae through the garage. He has Jongup behind him, carrying some of Youngjae's bags with a happy smile on his face, and Himchan is somewhere next to him, explaining the house rules and what he can touch and what he can't. (His cars and Yongguk are absolutely off limits. Everything else is fine, just as long as Youngjae cleans up after himself.) "You're going to have to share a room with Daehyun and Himchan."

And Youngjae thinks that's okay, just as long as he doesn't have to share a bed with anybody.

When they reach the room, it's a tad bit smaller than what Youngjae's used to, but at least there's a mattress ready, beside the bunk beds on the left of the room. There are no decorations, and no windows, but Youngjae thinks that's okay, too, because his apartment didn't have that much stuff in it either, and he doesn't like windows. (He always feels like someone is trying to look into them, always thinks someone can peek through and kill him.

Which doesn't exactly amount to much when he's sharing a room with a scamming mechanic and a man who advances in armed robbery.)

"I know it doesn't seem like much-" Yongguk starts, but Youngjae cuts him off with a smile, clutching his laptop bag to his chest.

"No," He says, "I think it's great."

He's telling the truth.

Not even a day later, they assign Youngjae a job, which is admittedly a lot quicker than Jongil ever did, and it's not even something as stupid as coffee boy.

Yongguk asks if he can set up special cameras to spy on the other gangs (including Kim Hinsoo's), and Youngjae says, "Yes," Yes he can, a little too quickly. Because it will help with the mission; it'll give him an excuse to see Hinsoo without suspicious, without anybody from either group becoming alarmed.

And Yongguk smiles. Says, "Good."

He'll work on it tomorrow with Junhong and Daehyun.

Junhong walks around with Youngjae, camera in hand and pointing out the several different vantage points to set up his surveillance cams. (He's the landscaper of the group. It doesn't sound very useful, but in times like this, when you're trying to locate the best place to carry on certain tasks-Junhong is very helpful.) Daehyun strolls somewhere behind him, hands in his pockets, fingers on triggers. He's more here for protection, rather than to actually get the job done.

While they're out, Youngjae talks to Junhong, establishing as much trust as he possibly can, making him laugh, and distracting him so that he doesn't catch on to what he's actually doing. So that he doesn't catch Youngjae trying to sift through the profiles he's memorized in his head, trying to remember where Hinsoo's hideout is rumored to be located and what to say if he does find him.

He compliments Junhong on his camera, ruffles his hair, and sometimes teases him about his height.

But he doesn't notice Daehyun's gaze, glued to the back of his head. Doesn't notice how he eyes him in a more than friendly manner.

Because if he did, he'd have stopped him, right then and there.

(That's probably the moment everything started to go downhill.)

After about an hour of walking, of taking pictures and setting up cameras downtime, Youngjae convinces Junhong and Daehyun that it'd be easier to finish if they split up. "It's getting dark," He says, "and you guys probably don't want to be stuck doing this again tomorrow. Why don't we just set up two cameras each to get the job done quicker? We can split up-I go west, Junhong can go south, and Daehyun can take north. When we're finished, we can just meet up in the east wing of town; does that sound okay?" He honestly doesn't know how he gets them to agree (it certainly takes a lot of convincing), but he's glad he did it, because it allows him to snoop. It allows him to stumble across the street of the west wing of Seoul's downtown departments, where it's practically abandoned, one of Daehyun's dual guns shoved precariously into the pocket of his hoodie.

In his paperwork, it says Hinsoo likes to hide around here; he's made the street a near ghost town-no one in site besides members of the gang. The entire block is filled with abandoned stores, shops, and cheap motels-out of business because of the lack of customers. (Youngjae doesn't really blame them though; he understands what it's like to run from someone-to run from a bully.

He's starting to hate Hinsoo more and more.)

Youngjae strolls through the street, fast, counting the seconds that it takes him to make it through various shops, looking for a particular face in the vastness. It's starting to drizzle in the dawn air, and with a breath, Youngjae shoves his hands into his pockets and fingers the trigger of the gun.

As if on cue, when he finally thinks about turning back because it's getting cold and time must be ticking faster than he's capable of paying attention, he bumps straight into a large looking man, head bald and face stern.

"What do we have here?" He asks, and Youngjae almost cowers, almost pushes himself back in the cold April air.

(His fingers brush against the gun's grip though, and he feels comforted, feels safe, feels like Daehyun's gaze is on him like it was before.)

Without a tremor in his voice, Youngjae says, "You look like such a smart and intelligent gentlemen; why don't you try guessing yourself?" with sarcasm dripping clean off his voice like droplets of water.

He almost gets punched in the face (and he probably would've been, too, if not for the fact that he says, voice calm but body shivering just the slightest, "I heard you're after B.A.P," with his head tilted, the gang member's fist mere centimeters from his face, "I can help you get to them."

And he feels like everything is going way too fast, everything is sped forward like the milliseconds on a timer, but he pushes forward, because the plan says to do this. The plan tells him not to wait-to cease every opportunity that's thrown to him.

And at the moment, his heart and head say the same thing, too-say to get out before he jumps into the water, way too deep.)

Hinsoo is an intimidating man. He's a little on the overweight side-caught between bulky and plainly obese, sunglasses always shading his face no matter what the temperature is. Youngjae finds Yongguk more intimidating though, so he's fine standing his ground. Fine telling Hinsoo to calm down even when he urges Youngjae to,  'tell me, tell me how to get to B.A.P-tell me how to destroy them.'

With superb acting skills and practiced lines, Youngjae says, levelly, "I want them gone just as much as you do," even though he doesn't. He wants Hinsoo gone more than he wants B.A.P put away, "trust me."

And they don't-he's trying to get them to, to get the rest of the members to at least stop pointing their guns at him, but they prove to be difficult, more suspicious of him than B.A.P ever was.

And Youngjae finds himself missing them-actually missing them-and he wants to leave, wants to get to the east part of town as quick as possible, because Daehyun and Junhong must be there, waiting for him, and it's starting to rain.

(He's not attached, he swears.

He just doesn't want them gone as much as Hinsoo does. It's the truth-simple and plain fact.)

When Hinsoo looks like he's cooled down enough, and when the rest of the gang finally lower their ammunition, Youngjae gives the whole group a smile that's more mocking than it is real. "You have to be patient," He says, before digging into his jean pocket and producing a small, simple earpiece. He tells Hinsoo to hold out his hand, so he can drop the tech into his palm, and Youngjae tries not to feel too haughty when he listens, obedient, ready to do just about anything. "This is an earpiece. It'll help me keep in contact with you. Later, in a few weeks, in a month, maybe in two, I will tell you the plan. You have to wait. You can't come to me. You have to head every single instruction I give you," and he says it slowly, like if he said it any other way, he wouldn't understand, "or else the plan won't work, and you will have squat. Do you understand me?"

And begrudgingly, Hinsoo nods, taking the earpiece into his hands and giving it to one of his goons to hold onto.

Youngjae smirks.

When he runs back to the east wing, Daehyun and Junhong are already there, waiting, leaning against a building and tapping their feet on the pavement.

They look worried, eyebrows pressed together and mouth set into a thin line, and breathing hard, Youngjae attempts an apology.

(When they forgive him, he feels guilty.)

Youngjae's assigned more and more missions the longer he stays there. B.A.P trust his abilities more than anyone has ever had, and he's getting closer to everyone, bit by bit, every single week.

He goes to the gym with Yongguk and laughs in triumph when he finally gets the hang of the treadmill.

He teaches Himchan new ways to tweek his cars' engines so that they purr evenly-more quiet, making the cars themselves harder to detect.

He plays pranks around the garage with Jongup, and sometimes, he teaches Junhong how to hijack computer data from other machines.

The only person Youngjae doesn't spend as much time with is Daehyun, but that's because he's the only one that's the same age as him, and he always gives him these looks, these near smoldering stares, that always put Youngjae on edge.

And Youngjae knows it's not because of distrust-not from hate.

It's because of something else entirely.

(And Youngjae can't act on it-not unless he wants to be thrown into the deep end of the water-even though the stare sends shivers down his spine.)

On nearly the fourth week Youngjae's been apart of the gang, he's assigned guard duty for the first time with Daehyun.

He's usually with Himchan or Jongup, but today, Himchan was a little too tired from staying up the night before to complete a car design, and Daehyun offered to take his place. (And Youngjae wants to complain, because he never got to do that, not even when he was up late the night before, writing out codes on his computer and surveying Exo and NU'EST and all the other gangs on the cameras they set up. He wants to complain because it's completely unfair, but even if he did, Himchan would probably just give him that speech-that boring and unnecessary 'You Are the Newbie and Therefore Are Not Exempt From Any of the Rules' speech that takes way too long.

So Youngjae doesn't say a word. Even when Daehyun gives him that stare again, even when his body reacts the complete wrong way, even when he's sure this can end up in nothing but disaster.

He smiles at Daehyun, and the brunette smiles back with a smile that sends warning signals to Youngjae's head and messy beats to his heart.

It's going to be a long night.

During the middle of the night, when he thinks Daehyun has fallen asleep, dual guns clutched tight in his hands, Youngjae flips the switch on his specially made watch to contact Hinsoo.

He answers immediately, anxiety laced with his words, and Youngjae feels proud that he has him, wrapped around his finger, jumping through hopes. "Update?"

"Three months." Youngjae replies simply, and Hinsoo's voice almost sounds outraged when he asks, "Three months?!"

Youngjae still needs to collect enough evidence to prove them all guilty, still needs enough to really nail them, and three months is the longest amount of time Jongil is willing to give him to collect it all. It's all the time that he needs to execute his plan.

"Yeah. Three." Youngjae says, calmly, coolly, and Hinsoo seems to sober up, even though he still seems a bit annoyed. "You want the plan to go smoothly, don't you?"

The silence is all Youngjae needs for an answer. "Run the plan over with me one more time."

And even though Hinsoo is nothing but impatient, Youngjae explains it to him again, slowly. How in three months time, he will go to their hideout again. How he'll give Hinsoo all of the information he has on B.A.P: all of their weak points, all of their strategies and how to counter them, where they keep their weaponry and what weapons to use against them.

How Youngjae will lead him and his gang to their hideout to fight them, with B.A.P least expecting it.

(But he doesn't tell Hinsoo about the SWAT team that'll be waiting for them.)

Daehyun and Youngjae are stuck with guard duty again the next day. (This time, Youngjae has to replace Junhong because apparently, 'he said he had a bad day.'

Youngjae thinks Himchan is just a biased mother, and it really sucks that he's the one who has to suffer from it.)

"So," Daehyun says after an hour of complete silence, of Youngjae trying to distance himself as far away as possible. He has a smirk on his face, a horribly crooked and attractive smirk on his face, and Youngjae doesn't know whether to scream or completely ignore him when he continues, "you don't seem like the gang type."

And Youngjae bites at his lips, furrows his eyebrows and folds his arms as he leans against the wall connected to the garage door, as he replies, "Neither do you." trying to keep his voice from cracking.

Then Daehyun gives him his certified laugh-the one that makes Youngjae smile along no matter how hard he tries not to-and he says, "You're right." Like Youngjae is the biggest genius to ever walk the planet.

"Then again, B.A.P isn't really a group that has the gang types." Youngjae adds as an afterthought, carefully, (Just as long as he stays clear of anything too personal, he's sure nothing can happen. It's okay if they talk about this-it's okay if they stay general. Nothing can happen then. No unnecessary feelings will develop.) and Daehyun agrees with him again. "Why is that?"

From the corner of his eyes, he sees Daehyun on the other side of the garage door, twirling one of his favorite guns on his index finger as if it were nothing but a chain of keys. The man looks thoughtful, trying to piece together a satisfying explanation, and Youngjae counts the number of times the trigger slips passed the pads of his fingers. "I don't know." He says, after a moment, genuinely puzzled, "I think it's because Yongguk didn't want it to be like that, you know?" And Youngjae isn't sure if he does, but he nods anyway, just to keep Daehyun talking, "He didn't care about the intimidating part-I mean, it's definitely a plus, but he didn't care." A sort of sparkle appears in Daehyun's eyes when he talks about it, and Youngjae finds that he really, really likes that. He's never seen someone this excited just to talk before. "He just-he cared about the living part. Living as a unit. He wanted to give people who didn't belong something to look forward to at the end of the day. Wanted to give them reason, you know?"

Before Youngjae can even think he asks, "Did he give you reason?" His voice comes out entirely too small for his liking, and he doesn't want to seem weak, doesn't want to seem vulnerable, not in front of someone like Daehyun. Not in front of someone he can come to care for-whether as a friend or not.

(Daehyun's smile is small, too, though, when he hears the question, and Youngjae doesn't really know what that's supposed to mean, but Daehyun gives it to him, and it makes his chest cave in at the thought.)

"You see how feminine I look, right?" Daehyun asks, and Youngjae wants to tell him he doesn't have to talk about this if he doesn't want to. Wants to tell him it's too personal of a conversation for Youngjae to get into, but he's curious. He nods. "When I was smaller, it was a lot worse." The smile is gone from his face. The sparkle in his eye, too. "The only memories I have from when I was little are painful, up to when I turned sixteen."

And Youngjae thinks, 'Mine, too.' remembering the bullies, kicking him into puddles and teasing him about the clothes he wore, the things he studied, how chubby he looked. Remembering his mom and dad, who were always too busy with their own lives to really care about little Youngjae. About the little mistake.

There's a small chuckle that leaves Daehyun mouth, but it isn't his usual light and giddy laugh. It's dark and twisted, and Youngjae doesn't like it. "When I was fourteen, one of the upperclassmen thought it would be funny to hold me down and put lipstick on me." Youngjae doesn't even need to look at Daehyun's face to know that he's angry-doesn't even need to look at him to see all of the scars taunting his memories. "They drew all over my face, and I... I couldn't stop crying. They called me 'Tranny' for the next two years; I don't even think my teachers knew my real name." And there's that chuckle again-the chuckle that Youngjae hates. "And then, when I turned sixteen, I heard of the gang. I heard of 'B.A.P,' and I thought 'this is it. This is my chance to make something of myself. To get all those dickheads to quite calling me names.​'"

"And they stopped?" Youngjae asks, tentatively, playing with the tips of his fingers.

And Daehyun gives him a toothy grin, and he feels relieved, even though he probably shouldn't. (He doesn't know Daehyun well enough to be relieved by the fact that he's smiling like normal again; he doesn't care for Daehyun that much.

Does he?)

"I've never been afraid since." He says proudly, and Youngjae smiles back. Even goes as far as to laugh. "What does that tell you?"

"That you suddenly got uglier when you turned sixteen, so no one ever bothered you again?" If Youngjae weren't so drowsy, he probably would've laughed along with Daehyun at his own joke.

When Daehyun peeks over at Youngjae and sees the younger man's head tilting forward and jolting back up, trying to keep himself awake, he laughs again. Lifts himself up from his spot even when Youngjae rubs his eyes-widens them to keep them open. "My story was so boring that you're starting to fall asleep." Daehyun says, mock-offended, and before Youngjae can deny it or agree or even blink, he's crouching in front of him with a smile. He slips himself into the spot next to Youngjae's, fits his head into the crook of his shoulder, and says, "Sleep."

Youngjae doesn't want to admit it, but he sounds nearly intoxicated when he says, "But guard duty..."

And Daehyun laughs-Youngjae can feel his shoulder shake beneath his cheek. "Don't worry about it. I got your back."

And Youngjae knows what this could turn into, knows how dangerous this whole relationship can be, but he kind of likes talking to Daehyun: he's funny and nice and open and so trusting and cut-cuttingly generous. (He didn't just think cute. He didn't.)

So when he hears Daehyun say, "Thanks for listening to me," through cloudy eyes and drowsy ears, he promises himself that he won't let this get too out of hand.

(And for the next month, Youngjae and Daehyun practically find themselves fighting for guard duty just to talk to each other-to play tiny games of twenty questions and sneak midnight snacks that they don't want to share with the other members.

And the month after that, they have their own little inside jokes. Daehyun eats Junhong's snacks when he isn't looking and Youngjae talks him into believing they just disappeared. They tease Himchan and how he always has to act like a mom, and they sometimes even let Jongup stay up with them, behind Yongguk's back, because they both like his tiny gestures and how he tries and fails so hard to make people laugh.

Another month of laughs and smiles. Of getting used to life like this rather than the life Youngjae had before, with his tiny, quiet apartment complex filled with people he didn't get along with. Where he was okay with not getting along with them, because Youngjae didn't trust people. Never could. All because of the stupid bullies from when he was younger and his fucking parents with all their stupid lies and all their empty promises.

Another month of Youngjae finding it easier and easier to trust whenever he sees Daehyun's smile. Whenever he tells him to sleep. Whenever he sings to him his favorite songs just to get him to fall asleep faster.

And he still tries to pretend he isn't in too deep-he can get out whenever he wants to.

(Even though he can't.

Knows it, too.)

When it's been three months, and Youngjae finally admits to himself he isn't ready to let go (probably will never be able to let go), it's already too late.

In two days, he's going to have to.

In two days, everything's going to end-all of the smiles and all of the laughs.

And there isn't anything he can do.

So instead, because it's a hot, July night, and Youngjae has nothing more to lose, he steals two bottles of Yongguk's best alcohol from upstairs, sets one in front of Daehyun and plops himself down in front of him.

Daehyun looks at him with quirked lips-quirked lips that Youngjae have come to lo-"Are you crazy or is the heat finally getting to you?"

And Daehyun is wearing a thin, white wife beater and boxer shorts and nothing else, but Youngjae still doesn't care.

He shrugs, pops open the bottle in his hands, and dips his head back, swallowing a good two mouthfuls before he can barely breathe and his throat his burning.

When a minute passes and Daehyun still hasn't done anything, Youngjae gives him a heated look, gives him a look that returns all the gazes he's given to him in the passed three months. And Youngjae swears he sees Daehyun's entire eyes lusting over before he smirks that smirk and laughs that laugh, and he's not far behind following Youngjae's lead.

"God," Youngjae breathes. Tries to remember how to blink. Laughs when he realizes that he didn't forget; he's doing it right now, "We are so... drunk right now."

And Daehyun, right in front of him, leans forward, presses their foreheads together with an eskimo kiss, and says, voice thick, like chocolate and cookie batter, "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."

"You're still drunk either way, dumbass."

The look on Daehyun's face is indignant, and he pulls away with a huff. Youngjae feels like taking it back, because he happened to like where Daehyun's head was, why would he move away? But then he can't form the words in his head, and he doesn't have the attention span to care. "Whatever," Daehyun says, pursing his lips, and then his eyes do that cloudy thing again. Youngjae forgets what it's called-starting with an 'L'... "It's getting too hot in here." The older man continues, before he moves and pulls off his shirt with lusty-that was the word-lusty eyes.

Youngjae's too drunk to hide the fact that he's staring.

Then Daehyun says, "'m still bored." Speech slurred from the alcohol.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Play a game with me." His voice is almost whiny.

And even though Youngjae knows he's going to regret it, knows in the morning, when he's hungover and regretting all the night from before, he's going to want to take back everything, he still asks, "What kind of game?"

When Daehyun says, instead of the usual twenty questions, "Dare or dare!" Youngjae doesn't know whether to feel upset or amused.

He realizes he's more amused than disappointed though, because he laughs, "That's not much of an option, Dae," and agrees anyway.

"You first." Daehyun tells him, tentatively, like he's trying to level out the rules of the game, like he's trying to reach some kind of compromise. Like he's daring Youngjae to dare the most daring thing to ever be dared.

So, because he's drunk, Youngjae says, voice low in his throat, "I dare you to take off the shorts," eyeing Daehyun with dark, dark eyes.

And when Daehyun listens, when he actually moves to slowly hook his fingers into the waistband of his boxers, Youngjae has to swallow, because this suddenly doesn't feel like a game anymore, and the alcohol isn't entirely controlling his actions-no matter how much he wants to blame it on that.

"My turn." Daehyun says, licking his lips, and Youngjae doesn't know what to expect. Doesn't know if he wants to expect anything. Because all he sees is Daehyun, and it's driving him crazy, and he wants to reach forward and do something, because the alcohol is affecting him in more ways than one.

After a moment of pure silence, silence that drives Youngjae mad, he snaps, "Say something, dammit."

And Daehyun commands, "Kiss me," before Youngjae is crushing their lips together, teeth against teeth and naked chest against a sweat-soaked tank top, and it's like they've been kissing for days, months, years. Feels like their lips were made for each other, and Youngjae thinks about how nice this is, how amazing it feels, how he can do this forever and ever and ever-

Until Daehyun whispers, softly against Youngjae's lips, alcohol burning-burning Youngjae's eyes, his nose, his mouth, his chest-"I love you."

And then Youngjae's chest is burning for another reason entirely.

Early the next morning, Youngjae leaves the garage to get some air-to think, to get away from the good times and pull himself back to reality, he thinks about Jongil. About the mission and what he has to do in just a few days because of what Jongil says, because of what he commands. Because of what he thinks.

Jongil says they're dangerous, but he doesn't know about all the late night talks. All the jokes exchanged and the sacrifices they make just to be together, to have something-comforting and safe. He can't see the smiles and how they can trust people so wholesomely; he can't see the secrets.

Can't see how humane they are. More humane than most people.

Can't see how much Youngjae's come to care for them. How much he loves them.

(And Jongil can't see Daehyun. Can't hear his stupid, stupid laugh or the way he sings when he wants Youngjae to fall asleep. He can't see his shining eyes or his big, ridiculous looking nose or his hair in the morning when it sticks to his cheeks. Can't see who he truly is-what he does to Youngjae.)

It's becoming harder and harder for him to keep up this charade.

(He's done pretending.)

He stays at his apartment that day. Sleeps there with all it's empty walls and empty space, devoid of any laughter.

And he spends the whole day thinking.

Spends it praying to something that he doesn't believe in.

And then he sleeps and spends the rest of that time thinking, too.

On the day that the mission is supposed to end, where he's supposed to break and arrest the five people who he's come to love the most in the world, Youngjae decides he doesn't want to.

He doesn't care what happens to him, and it doesn't matter what Jongil says, because he's done.

He's done, and he's going to tell everyone what he was to start with. What he planned to do. He's going to tell Yongguk everything, he's going to admit to Himchan that he lied, and he's going to confess to Jongup and Junhong that he was going to ruin their family forever.

And he's going to tell Daehyun that, from the beginning, his only intention was to betray him. And he's going to tell him that he's sorry, that he hated every second of it, and that he loves him.

Loves him no matter what he chooses to believe.

Because he doesn't care anymore.

When Youngjae is walking back to the base, he tries to contact Jongil again, to tell him that he's going to tell B.A.P everything, to tell him that he's going to tell them to run and never look back, he's met instead with a familiar bald head and black tinted sunglasses.

Youngjae feels himself swallow before he even has a chance to do anything else. The phone drops in his hands.

"Guess what?" Hinsoo says, wicked grin on his face. "We have a techy in our crew, too. Got him to track down your signal."

And Youngjae thinks about Yongguk and his gummy smile.

"Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard," The men behind Hinsoo loom over him, bandannas around their mouths, darkness around their intent, "we just had to get you to talk for a long time."

And he thinks about Himchan and his nagging.

"We went to the base, you know? Saw you and the gunman."

And Jongup and his stupid Jokes.

"We figured you must be worth a lot, being his bitch and all."

And Junhong and his innocent smile.

"So there's been a change of plans, Youngjae."

And Youngjae thinks about Daehyun, Daehyun, Daehyun. Daehyun and his smile and his laugh and his singing voice and all of the late night conversations and drunken confessions. Thinks about his kiss.

Thinks about how he might not be able to kiss him again as the men behind Hinsoo throw a bag over his head and carry him away, kicking and screaming.

Thinks, 'I love you, I'm sorry,' even though he can't hear him.

Youngjae doesn't remember a lot after they take him away.

He only remembers pain.

Pain and a camera.

And it hurts-it hurts and hurts and hurts-but even if it does, he tries to look up through all the blur, through all the punches and kicks and beatings to stare straight at the camera. (Because he knows-he knows that they're going to make them watch this. Going to make his family watch him as he gets beaten to near death. Going to make Daehyun watch as he's reduced to nothing.) He ignores the next punch to his jaw to stare straight at the lens and even though he can barely see, Youngjae tries to mouth something.

Tries to mouth a warning.

Tries to tell them to stay away and let him die.

And the camera cuts before he can.

"Wake up." Hinsoo spits at him, and Youngjae opens his eyes, head pounding and body hurting everywhere. "Your friends are coming, doesn't that make you happy?" And Youngjae stares, long and hard.

Until Hinsoo turns away, clicking his tongue.

And Youngjae hopes they have a plan, because he knows what they're going to do. Knows that there aren't any happy endings in situations like this. Knows from study and criminal analysis that Hinsoo is reckless.

Youngjae's going to die.

He just hopes he doesn't bring everyone else down with him.

When Youngjae hears the soft sounds of five pairs of feet walking down the subway, he flinches.

One of Hinsoo's goons holds him by the collar as another counts the money in the suitcase, and Youngjae doesn't want to look, doesn't want to see their relieved faces. Doesn't want them to feel relieved over a traitor.

Doesn't want to see their pain when they see him die.

When they let Youngjae go, he figures he has a limited amount of time to say his goodbyes.

He has about five to ten seconds.

(And he knows that's not enough time. He knows that isn't enough to choke a goodbye or even a hello. He knows he won't be able to tell any of them what he's done and he knows he's probably going to hell for it.)

So instead of an apology, instead of a graceful confession, Youngjae gives them a smile when he hears the click of a gun behind him. He smiles, long and hard, and looks at every single one of them when the bullet rushes toward him. He looks Junhong in the eyes and silently hates him for his height and he stares Jongup in the face and is jealous for that mole he has on his cheek. He looks at Yongguk and Himchan, glued together and envies their relationship. He looks at them and thinks, 'I love you. I'll never forget you.'

And then he looks at Daehyun.

And the bullet hits him square in the back.

And in that moment, Youngjae tries to tell him everything. To apologize for lying, to beg for forgiveness, and to tell him he loves him, more than anything he's ever loved in the world.

The horror on Daehyun's face flickers when Youngjae struggles to breathe.

When he falls forward, he catches Daehyun's lips moving.

Notices him crying.

And he mouths, 'I know.'

Before Youngjae falls on his face and feels the blood draining from his system. Feels his heart stop and his brain slowly numbing.

'I knew all along. It's okay.'-----
Ugh, I'm sorry that took forever. orz
I hope I was able to do the prompt justice. I'm not that good at writing Daejae.. :P