the shortcomings of being Moon Jongup
Title: the shortcomings of being Moon Jongup
Author: ivoryroyale
Pairing: ot6, slight!Jongup/Zelo, Daehyun/Youngjae, and Yongguk/Himchan
Rating: PG
Genre: hurt/comfort, friendship
Summary: Sometimes Jongup forgets Junhong isn't bulletproof.
Note: for bictory at thebrowniebunch fic exchange! I'm so sorry you got stuck with me. I wasn't sure if you wanted an actual pairing for this prompt so I wrote it as an either or. I hope you don't mind. ^^;; This is written in canon verse, from debut to present, and it's 7,535 words. I hope you like it!
the shortcomings of being Moon Jongup
There are a lot of shortcomings of being Moon Jongup.
First of all, (in the most literal of ways,) he’s short-the shortest of all his bandmates, and it really sucks even though he’s technically the second youngest. Then there’s the fact he doesn’t have a lot of people following him on twitter. (Granted, he does have a lot, but not compared to his hyungs, who have already hit the three hundred thousand mark-the one that Junhong has even passed. Youngjae’s the only one with fewer followers than him, and even then, the older man is gaining more each day. Sooner or later he’s going to get more popular, and Jongup’s world is going to crumble-which is probably a little overdramatic, especially how he usually acts, but it will.)
Some of the other stuff isn’t as prominent though, like his utter shyness in front of the camera, his misunderstood sense of humor, and the fact some of the fans seem to like him ten times better when he’s stripping in front of a camera.
The thing that tops the list though-that Jongup would give anything to make disappear-has got to be his forgetfulness.
He forgets things: birthdays, schedules, names, faces. Anything in the world-just name it-and Jongup’s probably forgotten about it. Consequently, he also has a habit of losing everything he touches (literally everything. He once lost a mic before a rehearsal stage and management nearly had a cow and a horse and basically, the whole freaking barnyard of animals.) It isn’t his fault, of course-it’s just second nature to him. It’s just him.
He’s tried to fix it (or, more specifically, Daehyun, Youngjae, and Himchan have tried to fix it), but it never quite works out.
Jongup figures it’s not that bad though. He’s gotten better, at least. He doesn’t forget important things quite as often as he did before, and he has everyone else to help him out with it now. So when he leaves a piece of his outfit in the dressing room, Youngjae’ll bring it for him. Daehyun will bring him his keys if he leaves them on the couch, Yongguk will triple check he packs everything when he travels, and Himchan will make sure he’s eaten before a big schedule. (Junhong, therefore, will take care of everything else.)
Sometimes he thinks he’s a hassle, but the others console him and say it’s perfectly fine-that they (which more often than not really means Junhong) like to take care of him, so he doesn’t object. Especially when he’s running late for practice, and Junhong stays behind to make sure he remembers everything.
They always say he’ll get over the forgetfulness sooner or later, so it doesn’t matter.
(Besides, being Moon Jongup isn’t a complete loss. He certainly likes who he is, despite all the flaws, and he doesn’t constantly complain about them. He has a lot of adoring fans who love him for who he is, and two families that love him which is more than what most people can say.
And he can dance.
And sing.
…sometimes.)
xxx
One morning, Jongup wakes up to Daehyun shaking him awake, and he briefly forgets what day it is.
“Wakey wakey, sunshine,” He screams, less than affectionate, and Jongup scrambles to sit up straight in his bedsheets, hair pushed in front of his face with a groan. His eyes are a little fuzzy still, but through that, Jongup can detect the little glint of amusement in Daehyun’s twinkling brown irises. When he scoffs, Jongup can smell his morning breath. “Well, aren’t you the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen.”
Jongup wrinkles his nose. It’s too early for sarcasm in his opinion, and he doesn’t understand how Daehyun can be so bright eyed and bushy tailed, but (not one to be upstaged) he tosses one of his many blankets from his body anyway. “Says the guy with rancid eggs for breath.”
Before he can even blink, Daehyun’s in his face again, breathing into his nose with drawn out words, “Why, thank you-” while Jongup cringes, blanching at the smell.
“Hyung, seriously, if you don’t brush your teeth soon, you’re going to cause all of our untimely deaths.”
Daehyun grants him a smirk before he wipes his lips and slips off Jongup’s bed with a jerk of his thumb toward Junhong’s bunk a few feet away. “Go wake up your boyfriend, fuzz-for-hair, and maybe I’ll do it.”
Too lazy to correct him, Jongup rolls his eyes, “why don’t you wake up yours first?”
The sentence barely leaves his lips when Daehyun’s already at Youngjae’s side, pulling blankets off his body and nearly sending him tumbling off the mattress. Jongup has a hard time keeping the sudden snort from leaving his mouth.
Grinning from ear to ear, cheeks scrunching up endearingly, the vocalist exclaims with a slight childishness in his voice, “Already done.”
(Jongup moves from his bed and hangs off the railing of Junhong’s bunk right when Daehyun goes to wake up Himchan. Youngjae, from the ground, throws a pillow at Daehyun that misses and hits Yongguk square in his sleeping face.)
xxx
It’s almost seven thirty when the manager calls them and warns them to be ready in half an hour.
In retrospect, it seems like a lot of time (at least enough to keep Jongup from fumbling around, searching for his misplaced sneakers), but with six men running around the dorm, one increasingly small bathroom, and barely enough time to eat, it’s really not. (They always seem to make it work though.)
Yongguk is ready first-taking the least amount of time in the bathroom and even fixing them up a little meal for breakfast that they probably won’t even touch. Daehyun, Youngjae, and Himchan complain the most about who’s supposed to go first in the shower, and Junhong slides passed them all and claims it for himself. When Junhong finishes in eleven to twelve minutes, Himchan gives him grief about it while Daehyun and Youngjae sneak into the bathroom-taking turns with the shower and the sink (sometimes sharing if they’re really late). Himchan will pretend like he cares, take a surprisingly short, cold shower, and meet up with Yongguk at the kitchen table: maybe tossing a bit of food Daehyun and Youngjae’s way.
It’s chaotic, but it’s efficient. It works for them-they’re even early sometimes.
Jongup, however, is not.
He’s sluggish compared to the rest of them; sometimes getting flustered at the amount of time left and tripping over himself trying to put on a pair of jeans. The shower water is always ice cold, because he’s always the last one in, and the mirror is still too fogged up to see anything even if he wipes at it with a sleeve. He manages to drop his toothbrush (at least twice), the back of his shirt gets drenched from his hair, and he always (always) trips at the doorway (where bathroom tile meets carpet) trying to catch what time it is and how little he has left.
By the time he finally leaves the bathroom, it’s already almost time to leave, and then he has to depend on Junhong for the rest-gathering his stuff at the door and even placing a piece of food into his mouth the moment he steps through the doorframe.
(He feels bad about it, of course. It’s already been around four months since the whole hectic schedule thing started, and he’s still not used to it, but he’s glad Junhong’s always here to take care of him nonetheless.)
Thanks, Junhong, Jongup always tries to say, through a granola bar, or a piece of toast (this time it’s a nicely toasted bagel), and after practicing it for the last month, he’s finally managed to make it sound relatively like the words-“’fanksh, shunhong.”
With a smile and a slight nudge in the ribs, Junhong leads him out the door and laughs, “no problem, hyung.”
xxx
The same thing happens, everyday (,whenever they have a schedule), and it’s becoming more and more apparent to the other members that Jongup is not going to get over his habit of forgetting every single thing anytime soon. So Junhong, as the maknae and his closest friend, is given complete jurisdiction over Jongup-bad habits and all.
It should probably offend him, but it doesn’t-not when he’s already misplaced one of Himchan’s hair clips and two of Yongguk’s favorite pens for drawing. (They told him it was okay and that they’ve already replaced them, but he still feels a little guilty for it.)
Junhong’s very helpful, too, and he says he likes helping Jongup, so it’s sort of a win-win (at least, Jongup hopes it’s a win-win).
When Jongup walks out of the bathroom and thinks he’s finally remembered everything today, Junhong stops him short. (Again.)
“Hyung, your necklace,” Junhong reminds him, usually tapping Jongup lightly on the shoulder. He doesn’t even need to look to know that Jongup’s already left it on one of the dresser’s in their room (probably in the corner, near the mirror, wedged somewhere between Daehyun’s cosmetics and Himchan’s ridiculously aromatic hair products), and the dancer doesn’t know whether to feel grateful or flustered at the fact Junhong knows him so well.
Almost to be sure, Jongup grabs at the space around his neck and scratches at his collarbone in search of his lucky necklace-only to come up short. He can feel his face twist, and by the look of Junhong’s, he assumes he must look pretty amusing. “Thanks,” he mutters, before sauntering out of the room with a slight smile.
Through the course of another few months, Junhong’s become used to it, too-always running a quick hand through Jongup’s hair and chuckling when he brushes passed him; his new, unspoken way of saying ‘you’re welcome’.
xxx
“So,” Daehyun coos, landing on Youngjae’s lap and kicking his legs up on Himchan’s knees with an all too smug smirk on his lips. It’s a Thursday now, so they aren’t that busy: maybe a rehearsal or two but other than that-perfectly lax. After dancing, Jongup always chooses to stay home with the other hyungs, but Junhong and Yongguk always go out: practicing more than they really need to. The two are always so passionate about what they do-picking their one day off to run errands and compose lyrics (and maybe even study, if Junhong feels up to it).
On Thursdays, Junhong doesn’t have the time to hang like he usually does, but that’s okay, because Jongup knows that he’s way busier. Has the most fans, gets the most publicity, and balances Jongup on top of that all.
(Jongup still isn’t a big fan of Thursdays though.)
“How’s you and your boyfriend?” There’s a cutting impishness in his voice that doesn’t quite bother Jongup but causes Himchan to knock Daehyun alongside the head anyway. When the vocalist flinches away, Youngjae snickers with a point and a laugh and nearly drops him.
Jongup honestly has no idea who he’s talking about though, so he waits. Eyeing the three of them until they finally realize he wants them to elaborate on who Jongup could be dating.
When Himchan catches the look on his face, he completely waves Daehyun off-ready to smack him if he chooses to say another word. The brunette says something about being abusive, but the older man ignores him, turning to Jongup with a gentle smile. Jongup likes Himchan-he’s always so nice and he’s funny and (although he can get a little snippy with the others) he comforts Jongup a lot when he needs it. “Don’t worry about Daehyun. You know how he likes to pull stuff right out of his a-”
“I do not.”
Youngjae suddenly cuts in, poking the singer in the side with a cheeky grin, “see, he’s doing it right now!”
Despite himself-his still confusion and the fact he’s already thinking of ways to get Daehyun back for teasing him-Jongup smiles, staring at the pair of best friends as they bicker relentlessly. “Yeah, but who was he talking about?”
Himchan opens his mouth (probably to dismiss him and explain that Daehyun is just an idiot; you don’t need to listen to him), but before he can get a word out, Daehyun’s voice is cutting him off, dull and obvious like he can’t believe Jongup could be so dense: “Duh, Junhong. Geez, a few months ago you would’ve gotten that reference-”
“But obviously, he’s not his boyfriend.” Youngjae states for Jongup, poking Daehyun in the cheek, halting whatever tangent he was ready to go on. “Junhong and him are like you and me.”
“Right,” Himchan agrees, “or like me and Yongguk.”
“Yeah, that’s probably not the best comparison considering you two a-ow!” This time Daehyun gets smacked in the stomach.
“Point being, Junhong isn’t Jongup’s boyfriend, and you,” Youngjae takes a moment to point right at Jongup with comforting brown eyes, “you don’t need to worry about it.”
Himchan nods along while Daehyun nurses the two new bruises forming on his head and abdomen. Jongup doesn’t worry either until Himchan chimes in, something along the lines of, “Besides, Junhong is more like a crutch than a boyfriend,” leaving his mouth in oblivious truth.
Daehyun laughs. Youngjae stares at him like he’s probably said the stupidest thing alive, and Jongup doesn’t really process his words until later that day when Junhong gets home and immediately has to remind him to take a shower.
xxx
Jongup never thought about it before-how much he actually depends on Junhong-so when Junhong starts tagging along with Jongup everywhere (just to make sure he doesn’t lose a sock, a shoe, a comb, or a remote. To make sure he eats, gets enough sleep, and sometimes, when he starts to get a little fever, to nurse him back to health again), he starts to feel a little useless.
A couple of weeks ago, Jongup would’ve accepted it-embraced it, in fact. He would have thought the attention was nice and that Junhong reminded him a lot of his older brother: always taking care of him, steering him away from trouble, and reminding him to smile every now and then. (Junhong’s good at that-making him smile. He’s funny, too, with all the other things that he’s perfect at.) But now, with Daehyun ruthlessly teasing him about Junhong-day in and day out of the dorm, wondering whether or not Jongup can still move without the younger boy telling him which foot to step with first, Jongup thinks he might be right.
Because being friends with Junhong is a lot like being a kite. When Junhong is there, holding to the roll of yarn and stringing him along-making sure he stays lifted in the air-Jongup’s fine. And he’ll continue to think he’s fine even if Junhong lets him go, even if he leaves.
But when he finally does, when he finally lets Jongup try to fly on his own, the boy has no idea what to do.
The dancer can barely function without Junhong (and even though he tries to convince himself that Junhong needs him too-needs him around to make him laugh and smile and remember to sleep; he doesn’t).
But it doesn’t mean he’s useless, right? Junhong isn’t completely bothered by him.
(…right?)
xxx
It’s a hot August day, and Jongup is lying on the ground with Junhong’s legs lying lazily across his stomach, when the younger boy asks if Jongup wants a glass of water and the dancer replies with a murmur, voice the taddest bit guilty, “Don’t you ever get... tired of taking care of me?” When Junhong takes a little too long to answer, Jongup feels a little panicked (‘Oh, God, he thinks I’m annoying. He doesn’t want me around anymore. We can’t be friends-you’ve done it now, Moon Jongup-‘), and he silently wishes that Youngjae were here to smooth the situation out. He’s good at things like this when he wants to be. Talking. (Daehyun is, too, but it’s a special kind of talking that he’s good at, and Jongup would rather steer clear of something as disastrous as that.)
Then, almost like it’s the simplest question in the world, Junhong just shakes his head-new blonde and yellow-y blue hair tossing across his forehead.
Jongup raises himself up on his elbows, staring down at Junhong with imploring eyes. His voice is flat, like he doesn’t quite believe Junhong’s answer, but the younger boy pretends not to notice (or doesn’t notice at all), “Really? Not at all? You don’t get tired of making lunch for me everyday and making my bed whenever I forget? You don’t get annoyed at anything?”
There’s a small spark of something in Junhong’s eyes then-something like alarm, and it’s so brief that Jongup nearly misses it. Like the teen’s trying to tell him something, but he doesn’t know how to say it without hurting Jongup’s feelings. A second later, the tension leaves his face though, and he answers, honestly (Jongup tries, but he can’t detect a single thing in his voice that says he’s lying to him), “I don’t get tired of taking care of you,” with a ring of double-meaning in his words.
Before Jongup has a chance to ask about it though, Junhong is already up, getting him a glass of water even though he never asked for one and saying, “You don’t need to worry about it, okay?”
xxx
Junhong’s starting to look worse lately.
He tries to cover it up by joking around (by smothering Jongup even more with interrogations of eating and sleeping and taking care of himself even though he’s the one who really needs it), but Jongup can see it even though he barely noticed in the first place.
The more he confronts him about it though, the more Junhong lies. The more he tells Jongup not to worry, and the more he tries to do for him-sometimes even staying up later than the dancer to throw an extra blanket over him on the bed.
The older boy tries to keep him from doing it, but he doesn’t-the more he tries to talk about it with him, the worse it gets.
(And Jongup has no idea what to do.)
xxx
When Junhong starts picking out Jongup’s clothes for him in the morning-every morning-the other hyungs start to get a little concerned, too.
Yongguk stops Jongup in the middle of the kitchen, a plate of fresh eggs in his hands and a look of worry in his eyes as he watches Junhong narrowly dodging Youngjae on his way to the room. With a slight nod at him, Yongguk manages to ask, “Is he okay?” without his voice completely cracking from concern.
With a blink (maybe two, maybe three), Jongup doesn’t know how to answer, opting to play with the fork on his plate before finally shaking his head, glancing over when Yongguk winces. Junhong’s zipping down the hallway again, but this time he actually collides with Himchan, falling to the ground with a small yelp. Jongup bites his lip-the sudden darkness around the rapper’s eyes and the bleariness in the way that he speaks when he apologizes suddenly becoming very apparent. “I… I don’t know…” He answers truthfully, almost cringing when the younger boy merely laughs it off and goes right back to whatever he was doing, leaving Himchan stunned-staring after him.
Yongguk purses his lips, squeezing Jongup on the shoulder gently. “I mean, he hasn’t complained to you about anything, right? About doing… well, everything for you?”
There’s a sudden twitch in his mouth at the way Yongguk says that, but it’s completely true, so Jongup can’t exactly argue-not with Junhong walking around like a zombie. Jongup’s only unnerved about the fact that Junhong hasn’t said a single word of complaint. He’s only added to his work load since he started, and Jongup knows it. Has been trying to tell him to cool off only to get the complete opposite effect. But even then all he was worried about (all he was afraid of) was being a burden.
He never really thought about Junhong breaking down like this-taking too much because he thinks he can’t afford to take too little.
He forgot Junhong could be this naïve.
(He forgot that Junhong is naïve-young and impressionable in the worst of ways. Forgot that Junhong isn’t bulletproof, that he isn’t immune to everything even though he acts like he is. He’s only fifteen-only homesick all the time and stressed from work and performances and interviews-hoping the fans like him and hoping his dream won’t die on him.
Hoping that hard work will prevent that from ever happening.)
And Jongup shakes his head, the worry that he’s been feeling for the past month striking him in the gut and flaring right to the back of his head like he’s being electrocuted. With a slight tremor in his voice, he murmurs, thinking about Junhong-how small he really is despite his over average height. How he walks and talks like he’s superman when all he is, is a boy-“Should I be worried, hyung?”
The older man lets the hand on Jongup’s shoulder drop before he says sternly, “No,” even though he doesn’t look too sure about his answer, “no. Don’t worry. He’ll go to you if something’s wrong. You’re his best friend.”
And Jongup thinks about the words Junhong said that day (the way he looked at him when he said I don’t get tired of taking care of you when what he really meant was I’m just tired of taking care of myself), and he thinks about how it’s a little too late for him not to worry anymore.
Because he’s sick and tired of people telling him not to worry when he really, really needs to.
(He’s ashamed that it took him this long to figure it out, and he doesn’t have the heart to blame it on the forgetfulness this time.)
xxx
That night, Jongup’s so absorbed with worrying about Junhong that he doesn’t sleep.
He lies in bed and stares at the bottom of the mattress above him, counting the amount of times Junhong’s helped him in the past few months and curling up when the number nearly reaches triple digits. The fact that he can’t think of a single time where he helped Junhong makes it all the more disappointing.
So, when it’s near three o’clock in the morning and everyone else is asleep but him (when he catches Junhong tossing and turning in the bunk above him, whispering in his sleep so quietly it could almost be a whimper: “Mom…”), Jongup decides that he needs to do something about this.
xxx
When it’s six and Jongup realizes he’s not going to get any sleep that day, he rushes to pick out his own clothes for the day. Remembers pants, a t-shirt, an accessory and rushes to the bathroom before Daehyun, who is always the first one awake, can even wake up.
His shower is quick, which is good.
(But he forgets his underwear and towels.
Which is bad, but at least Junhong doesn’t have to pick out his outfit.)
xxx
He figures this is going to be a slow process. It’s been months since he’s actually done anything for himself, so when he’s walking around, he forgets which cabinet they leave the bowls in, in the kitchen, and he doesn’t remember what Junhong’s favorite breakfast dish is, but he manages. He has plenty of time though (the others don’t usually wake up for another hour, and it’s Thursday, so they don’t really need to wake up until much, much later), so it’s okay.
Jongup figures he has a few hours before Junhong is going to wake up and try to pick out an outfit for him. Try to remind him that he needs to brush his teeth and use that specific shampoo that he likes, because the one that Daehyun uses stinks. (Too bad Jongup didn’t remember that this morning, and he’s stuck smelling like a wet cat.) A few hours to prepare an amazing breakfast for Junhong, pick out his clothes, sit him down, and make sure he doesn’t do anything himself today.
It might take a few tries, but he’ll be able to do it.
(Junhong does it, so it can’t be that hard.)
Jongup decides to make him waffles.
xxx
The moment Daehyun fumbles into the kitchen, eyes alert and hair tossed over his face like a bird’s nest, Jongup figures he might be doing something wrong.
Daehyun opens his mouth just slightly but no words escape him. He blinks while Jongup stirs the batter in a bowl with a whisk before he glances down at the contents, too. When the vocalist doesn’t say a word, Jongup decides he might be doing something really wrong (because Daehyun just doesn’t stop talking. It’s against his nature.)
A second later though, Daehyun says, with his morning breath and a deep undertone from still drowsiness, “You forgot the eggs.”
“...damn it.”
xxx
Daehyun doesn’t help him with the cooking. Of course, Jongup doesn’t mind (he’s tasted Daehyun’s cooking before, and he definitely does not want Junhong biting into a raw waffle), so he counts his blessings and asks him to wake up Youngjae. (Out of the six of them, Youngjae’s cooking is probably the most decent-tied with Yongguk’s.)
While the vocalist leaves, Jongup waits at one of the kitchen counters, setting his bowl of messed up batter on the surface and tapping his foot against the tiled floor until Youngjae emerges into the kitchen with a confused scowl and (ridiculously tame) hair. There’s a moment where he does exactly what Daehyun did and freezes-taking in the sight of Jongup in the kitchen, making a bowl of (not-quite) waffles.
Then he says (or at least tries to say), “You forgot the eg-”
“Shut up.”
xxx
By the time he’s (finally) finished with the waffles, Yongguk and Himchan wake up, too.
Thankfully, they don’t give Jongup that over-exaggerated look of shock like Daehyun and Youngjae did, but they do seem a little perplexed at the fact Jongup is awake without Junhong by his side. When he tells them not to wake the younger boy up until he’s finished with the eggs, bacon and sausage (the whole shebang), they smile and have this look of proudness and approval in their eyes that makes Jongup want to slink away.
Ten minutes later, he and Youngjae (but mostly Youngjae) have a whole table of food ready for Junhong to eat, and Himchan has to smack Daehyun over the head to get him to stay away from it.
xxx
“Junhong-ah…” Jongup murmurs, shaking the younger boy slightly-not quite enough to wake him up but just enough to stir his sleep. He doesn’t want to wake him up (he really doesn’t), but if Junhong doesn’t get to the table fast enough, Daehyun is probably going to inhale all his food without a second’s thought.
The dark circles around his eyes don’t really help Jongup’s unwillingness, but before he can even stop himself, Junhong’s eyes are opening with a flutter, a brilliant bleary brown staring at him. He groans-deep in his throat-a slight, involuntarily remark of, “Five more minutes, bro,” lilting off his heavy tongue as he rolls on the bed, back turned to the older boy. (Jongup tries not to let the fact that Junhong mistook him for his older brother daunt him.)
Jongup raises himself onto his tiptoes, trying to lean over the railing and catch a glimpse of Junhong pressing his face against his pillow. He sees his cheek squished against the mattress, and he smiles as he says, “Okay, but Daehyun the dinosaur might try to eat your waffles.”
“Who the hell is Daehyun the dino-” Junhong slurs, cutting himself off by suddenly sitting up and turning. Jongup smiles at him, and he waves as Junhong peers at the other bunks with sleepy concern on his face, looking for Yongguk snoring (or Himchan curled into a too-small blanket or Youngjae drooling all over his pillow) but finding nothing. “…am I missing something?”
“Besides sleep?” Jongup supplies, taking a moment to graze the slight purple around the edges of his eyelids with his fingers before hopping off the bunk-narrowly landing on the heels of his feet. “You’re missing breakfast.”
Junhong sighs, and Jongup hates the look of disappointment on his face. Like he prides himself in being the first one Jongup wakes up, but he nods anyway. “You go first. I have to pick out your…” The rapper trails off. Rubs his eyes to sees what Jongup’s wearing and furrows his brow. Jongup can’t help the smile on his face. With a scratch of his head, Junhong climbs down his bed, purses his lips, and continues, “Well… okay, I have to pick out my outf-”
“Nope. Not today. That’s my job. You are going to eat and then you are going to do nothing.”
Before Junhong can even protest, Jongup is already shoving him toward the kitchen. Just in time to see Yongguk shaking his head at Himchan who’s holding back Daehyun who’s being scolded by Youngjae because of the piece of bacon in his mouth.
And Junhong mumbles, suppressing a smile, “So that’s who Daehyun the dinosaur is.”
(Jongup feels a little proud.)
xxx
(He feels a little less so when he’s picking out Junhong’s clothes and he has no idea what he wears.)
He’s not like Junhong, who’s aiming to be a fashionista (among other things. Many, many other things). Jongup can throw on jeans and a t-shirt and call himself presentable, and he knows he can do the same thing with Junhong, but he also knows the younger boy wouldn’t be too happy about it. (He thinks about asking Youngjae to help him again, but then he thinks about how that would defeat the whole purpose of making up for all the things that Junhong has done for him, so he decides against it.)
With a little annoyed groan, Jongup taps his foot on the ground, hands on his hips, and eyes on Junhong’s closet. He makes a grab for a tie-dye t-shirt before Himchan walks passed him, glances where his hands are reaching for, and says, “ew.”
Jongup physically deflates, and Himchan quickly apologizes, trying to take it back.
“I’m not good at this,” Jongup sighs.
Himchan nods, understanding playing on the edges off his arched eyebrows. “Well, when worse comes for worse, just pick out something you’d wear. Junhong admires you anyway-I think he’d like anything you pick out.”
Which isn’t very good advice, but Jongup doesn’t complain anyway. (Because he likes Himchan. At least he’s trying.)
“How about those cute crocodile shorts with a white t-shirt?” Yongguk chips in, just now walking through the bedroom door, “He can wear that necklace he has that looks like yours, too, and you guys can ma-”
Youngjae comes filing in with Daehyun clinging to his side and says, “Hyung, no,” before he can continue.
Yongguk purses his lips while Daehyun snickers.
Jongup realizes Junhong is probably the only helpful one out of the six of them.
xxx
“Okay, I have a beanie, black skinny jeans, and a white t-shirt with a watch as an accessory. Am I missing anything?”
“Underwear?” Daehyun chimes.
“Obviously I already have his underwear.”
“I still think the crocodile shorts would be-”
“Hyung,” Youngjae shakes his head. “No.”
“I think you got everything,” Himchan tells him. (Smiles, probably just to reassure Jongup that what he’s picked out is perfectly fine.)
Jongup attempts a reply, but Junhong walks into the room before he can say a word.
The younger boy looks around the room: Jongup standing next to his closet, clothes in hand, and everyone else lazing around their beds.
“Did you clean up your plate?” Youngjae asks, breaking the silence whilst playing with Himchan’s hair.
There’s a look of apology on Junhong’s face, and he shakes his head, turning on the balls of his feet as he speaks, “No, I’ll-”
“I’ll do it!” Jongup shouts, practically running toward the door to keep Junhong from leaving and carefully placing the clothes in Junhong’s arms.
(He doesn’t catch the look on the younger boy’s face then, but later, Yongguk will tell him about it with the fondest of smiles.)
xxx
Throughout the day, Jongup makes sure Junhong barely lifts a finger, constantly asks if he wants or needs anything. He especially helps him during practice, and he even tags along with him and Yongguk to run errands. He doesn’t help with writing lyrics (he isn’t much of a lyricist) but that’s okay, because he helps him study for an English test later. (There’s a benefit to listening to Chris Brown everyday after all.)
And throughout the day, Junhong gives him sidelong glances, silently wondering what in the world Jongup is doing. (When he thinks Jongup isn’t listening, he even leans over to whisper-ask Yongguk why Jongup’s acting so weird.)
It doesn’t exactly matter to Jongup though. (Just as long as he can finally take care of his dongsaeng.)
xxx
“So what’s up?” Junhong asks him when they’re back at the dorm, and Jongup wonders if he wants something to eat for lunch. There’s a sort of smile on his lips that’s a little too quirked to be considered amused and a little too turned up not to be. “Is it opposite day or something?”
“What? No.”
His face suddenly turns horrified. “Don’t tell me; I forgot my birthday again, didn’t I?”
Jongup makes a face. Shakes his head.
Then, Junhong looks confused. “Oh no, have aliens finally took o-”
“Junhong!”
The younger boy chuckles, and Jongup resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Then what did I do? Why are you being so… so-”
“-helpful?” Jongup provides, eyebrows arched, but nonetheless, unoffended.
Junhong, however, seems a little reluctant to let that pass. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Can’t a hyung take care of his dongsaeng?”
“Not you.”
This time, Jongup feels a little hurt, “Ouch.”
The look on Junhong’s face clearly says that that isn’t what he meant either, but he continues, stopping Jongup in the kitchen while the others are away-probably in the room. He leans on the counter, looking at anywhere but Jongup, and the older boy doesn’t know if it’s because he’s conflicted between telling Jongup to stop or continue. “I told you I liked helping you, remember-”
“Yeah, but since you’re so busy taking care of me, you barely take care of yourself.” To keep the tension out of the atmosphere, Jongup opens their fridge and searches for something to make Junhong without needing any assistance. A sandwich, he decides, with a lot of tomatoes. “I know you want someone to take care of you-”
“That’s not true.”
“Well, then, you miss having someone take care of you,” Jongup amends, taking out fresh tomatoes, some meat, cheese, and lettuce from the fridge. Junhong’s at a loss for words, and he starts playing with his hands. Jongup figures he’s probably guessed right, so instead of elaborating, he changes the subject. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll have your sandwich done in a sec.”
There’s a tiny hint of protest in the way Junhong holds his lips together, but he listens anyway-unsure of what else to do. “Okay…”
And Jongup’s pretty sure this isn’t really how the ‘helping’ is supposed to go, because Junhong doesn’t look grateful-he just looks uncomfortable, but the older boy doesn’t know what else to do to help him out, so he continues.
xxx
Junhong isn’t very vocal with what he wants, so Jongup just does everything Junhong would do for him on a normal day. He makes sure that the television is free so he can watch his favorite TV shows, he keeps his room space (relatively) clean, he keeps him fed, and he makes sure the hyungs don’t tease him too much (in Junhong’s case though, it isn’t that often. For some reason, Jongup is more often than not the butt of all Daehyun and Youngjae’s jokes).
So when it’s finally time to get to bed-when it’s eleven o’clock at night and everyone else is asleep but them-and Junhong whisper-speaks into the dead silence, voice cracking just slightly, “Is it still opposite day, hyung?”
(And even if it weren’t, even if it really isn’t, Jongup would still say,) “Yeah.”
His voice is so quiet Jongup has to strain his ears to hear his request, “Can you sleep with me tonight?”
Without a word, Jongup crawls out of bed and climbs into Junhong’s. The younger boy is curled in his blankets at the edge of the bed, already making more than enough room for the dancer to scoot into. He looks almost embarrassed-Junhong. The look in his eyes screams apology, but his lips are pursed so tight together that they’re white-so tight that he can’t say a thing. His brown eyes glance up at him, and they’re tinted red with what looks like tears. “What’s wrong?”
Sighing, Junhong musters up a big enough voice to tell him, “Nightmares,” with mumbled diligence, still eyeing Jongup like he’s going to start making fun of him at any second.
To prove that he isn’t, Jongup gives him a smile, slipping himself between the railing and Junhong’s tiny looking frame (despite how big he usually seems). For the first time in a long while, Jongup feels bigger than him-like Junhong’s finally acting like the kid he’s supposed to be. “What are you having nightmares about?”
In a split second, Junhong’s eyes water, and without thinking about it, Jongup wraps his arms around the blanket and pulls him in closer until Junhong’s face is pressed into his chest. “My f-family,” He breathes-a sudden, shaky rush of breath that’s meant to calm him down. Jongup’s not going to make him elaborate. He knows how that’s like: missing your family. Being away from them for so long after sticking with them your whole life. You start to miss them, you start to worry, and then, after a long, long time (too long), you start to imagine the worst. “I miss them, Jongup hyung. It’s not even that I miss them taking care of me; I just miss them.”
And Jongup doesn’t know what to say, because he’s not the best when it comes to words. That’s why he picked up dancing-feelings are much better explained through actions-so instead of speaking, of opening his mouth at risk of ruining the moment, Jongup only combs through Junhong’s hair and pulls him closer: feet almost touching underneath the covers. Jongup doesn’t know if it helps, but Junhong starts to cling-fingers digging into his shoulder blades like he’s expecting Jongup to disappear, too.
“Don’t worry,” Jongup murmurs, on impulse. Junhong relaxes a little more in his grip. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m super hyung: nightmares are no match for me.”
Beneath a chuckle, Junhong lets out a strangled sob.
And beneath his breath, Jongup starts to hum-hoping it’s soothing enough to lull Junhong to sleep and smiling when it does.
xxx
The next morning, Jongup wakes up sprawled all over Junhong’s bed-Junhong nowhere in sight.
He turns over, slightly groggy but nonetheless, awake.
His eyes suddenly meet brown irises, staring down at him with pure curiosity.
(It takes Jongup a second to realize it’s Junhong.)
He straightens in bed and nearly hits his head on the ceiling. Junhong smiles at him, all teeth and slight tongue. “Sleep nice, super hyung?”
Jongup smiles despite the pull of his eyes begging him to go back to bed. “Yeah, actually.”
“I’m glad,” Junhong announces simply, and before Jongup can ask if he did the same, he answers, eyes lighter than they’ve been in a month. “I slept pretty well, too.” There’s a fond twinkle in his eyes-one that’s completely foreign to Jongup. “You know, despite you grinding your teeth right in my ear.”
“This coming from the momma’s boy who cries in his sleep.” Jongup points out, rather dully. Instead of retorting, Junhong turns away to search for something in his pocket, and Jongup feels just the slightest bit confused, “What are you doing?”
As an answer, Junhong shoves a piece of paper in his face.
The first thing that Jongup reads is the title, written in sloppy handwriting: Jongup Hyung’s List of Things to Do When the Hyungs (and Junhong) Are Busy.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a list,” Junhong answers in the simplest of ways. “You know, for the weekends or something. When our schedules are really hectic and you don’t want to ask any of us for help. Even though I insist that I like helping you out; I can see that it sort of bothers you that I focus more on you than myself after yesterday, so I thought I’d make you a list to help you remember all the stuff you need to do. We can try it out today, and it’ll be the only thing I have to remind you about everyday, so I have plenty of time to take care of myself now. If it doesn’t work, we can try something-”
Jongup doesn’t realize that he’s leaning forward until he has his arms wrapped around Junhong’s neck, and he nearly falls off the bunk.
“-else?” Junhong finishes, voice suddenly cracking-pitch suddenly too high. “So I’m assuming you like the idea?”
Jongup squeezes tighter to Junhong’s shoulders, bracing himself against the railing, “It’s childish and anticlimactically simple.”
“So…?” Junhong asks, pulling away to look Jongup in the eyes, waiting expectantly for an answer.
“I love it.”
xxx
“Considering it made you use a word as big as ‘anticlimactically’ I’d be really disappointed if you didn’t.”
xxx
“The List”, put quite simply, is a perfect arrangement.
Admittedly, it doesn’t work for the first couple of weeks, but it’s certainly better than him running around like a headless chicken, only calming down when Junhong slows him enough to pick out his clothes, throw him into the shower, and do his hair when he comes out. By the third week though, he only forgets to put on deodorant (which wasn’t so bad despite the fact Youngjae claimed the stench would blind him). He remembers towels when he goes to take his shower, and he even remembers not to use Daehyun’s grotesquely smelling wet-cat shampoo.
When the first month passes with The List, he doesn’t forget a single thing. Junhong literally never has to correct him anymore. He doesn’t even leave The List everywhere either. Jongup knows exactly where he leaves it whenever he does, because it’s something that Junhong made for him-he’s definitely not losing anything as important as that.
(And when Junhong smiles at him at the breakfast table-eyes completely clear, not a single dark mark in sight-he feels the slightest bit accomplished.)
xxx
He’d be lying though if he said that he didn’t miss Junhong trailing after him all the time though, fixing his mistakes and acting like he’s older than he really is.
xxx
A few weeks later, when they have their first big award ceremony, Jongup is so flustered he can barely button his shirt.
Junhong and Jongup get ready in the room, standing in front of the mirror and silently checking and rechecking their appearance.
Jongup turns, a bagel in hand while letting out a huge breath, to look over The List again-just to make sure he didn’t forget anything, and Junhong glances over at him with a slight smile. There isn’t enough time to ask him why, but Junhong speaks anyway, talking over Yongguk and Himchan sprinting in and out of the room, discussing wardrobe and hairstyles, and Daehyun and Youngjae bickering per usual, “Jongup hyung, I think you’re forgetting something.”
“Really?” A little alarmed, Jongup turns toward him before quickly scanning over The List again-finding nothing and becoming completely confused. (It’s been a month since he last forgot something; what could he have forgotten?) He presses his lips together, slightly frustrated, asking before finally stuffing the bagel into his mouth, “What did I forget now?”
“The back of your shirt is sticking out.”
Turning around in circles, Jongup attempts to see where Junhong’s pointing at his lower back, and when his attempts become futile, the younger boy chuckles and steps forward, carefully tucking the tail of Jongup’s shirt into his slacks.
Jongup says, out of sudden habit, “’fanksh, shunhong,” looking up at Junhong with what he hopes is gratitude.
And with a smile and a slight nudge to his ribs, Junhong ruffles his hair and leads Jongup to the door laughing, “no problem, hyung,” a wrinkle in his nose and a playfulness in his voice.
-----kay, i'm just gonna go read the other fics in the exchange now. i was scared to read before because mine probably pales in comparison to all the other lovely writers sob. thank you for reading through my attempt at jonglo! ^^
Author: ivoryroyale
Pairing: ot6, slight!Jongup/Zelo, Daehyun/Youngjae, and Yongguk/Himchan
Rating: PG
Genre: hurt/comfort, friendship
Summary: Sometimes Jongup forgets Junhong isn't bulletproof.
Note: for bictory at thebrowniebunch fic exchange! I'm so sorry you got stuck with me. I wasn't sure if you wanted an actual pairing for this prompt so I wrote it as an either or. I hope you don't mind. ^^;; This is written in canon verse, from debut to present, and it's 7,535 words. I hope you like it!
the shortcomings of being Moon Jongup
There are a lot of shortcomings of being Moon Jongup.
First of all, (in the most literal of ways,) he’s short-the shortest of all his bandmates, and it really sucks even though he’s technically the second youngest. Then there’s the fact he doesn’t have a lot of people following him on twitter. (Granted, he does have a lot, but not compared to his hyungs, who have already hit the three hundred thousand mark-the one that Junhong has even passed. Youngjae’s the only one with fewer followers than him, and even then, the older man is gaining more each day. Sooner or later he’s going to get more popular, and Jongup’s world is going to crumble-which is probably a little overdramatic, especially how he usually acts, but it will.)
Some of the other stuff isn’t as prominent though, like his utter shyness in front of the camera, his misunderstood sense of humor, and the fact some of the fans seem to like him ten times better when he’s stripping in front of a camera.
The thing that tops the list though-that Jongup would give anything to make disappear-has got to be his forgetfulness.
He forgets things: birthdays, schedules, names, faces. Anything in the world-just name it-and Jongup’s probably forgotten about it. Consequently, he also has a habit of losing everything he touches (literally everything. He once lost a mic before a rehearsal stage and management nearly had a cow and a horse and basically, the whole freaking barnyard of animals.) It isn’t his fault, of course-it’s just second nature to him. It’s just him.
He’s tried to fix it (or, more specifically, Daehyun, Youngjae, and Himchan have tried to fix it), but it never quite works out.
Jongup figures it’s not that bad though. He’s gotten better, at least. He doesn’t forget important things quite as often as he did before, and he has everyone else to help him out with it now. So when he leaves a piece of his outfit in the dressing room, Youngjae’ll bring it for him. Daehyun will bring him his keys if he leaves them on the couch, Yongguk will triple check he packs everything when he travels, and Himchan will make sure he’s eaten before a big schedule. (Junhong, therefore, will take care of everything else.)
Sometimes he thinks he’s a hassle, but the others console him and say it’s perfectly fine-that they (which more often than not really means Junhong) like to take care of him, so he doesn’t object. Especially when he’s running late for practice, and Junhong stays behind to make sure he remembers everything.
They always say he’ll get over the forgetfulness sooner or later, so it doesn’t matter.
(Besides, being Moon Jongup isn’t a complete loss. He certainly likes who he is, despite all the flaws, and he doesn’t constantly complain about them. He has a lot of adoring fans who love him for who he is, and two families that love him which is more than what most people can say.
And he can dance.
And sing.
…sometimes.)
xxx
One morning, Jongup wakes up to Daehyun shaking him awake, and he briefly forgets what day it is.
“Wakey wakey, sunshine,” He screams, less than affectionate, and Jongup scrambles to sit up straight in his bedsheets, hair pushed in front of his face with a groan. His eyes are a little fuzzy still, but through that, Jongup can detect the little glint of amusement in Daehyun’s twinkling brown irises. When he scoffs, Jongup can smell his morning breath. “Well, aren’t you the most attractive thing I’ve ever seen.”
Jongup wrinkles his nose. It’s too early for sarcasm in his opinion, and he doesn’t understand how Daehyun can be so bright eyed and bushy tailed, but (not one to be upstaged) he tosses one of his many blankets from his body anyway. “Says the guy with rancid eggs for breath.”
Before he can even blink, Daehyun’s in his face again, breathing into his nose with drawn out words, “Why, thank you-” while Jongup cringes, blanching at the smell.
“Hyung, seriously, if you don’t brush your teeth soon, you’re going to cause all of our untimely deaths.”
Daehyun grants him a smirk before he wipes his lips and slips off Jongup’s bed with a jerk of his thumb toward Junhong’s bunk a few feet away. “Go wake up your boyfriend, fuzz-for-hair, and maybe I’ll do it.”
Too lazy to correct him, Jongup rolls his eyes, “why don’t you wake up yours first?”
The sentence barely leaves his lips when Daehyun’s already at Youngjae’s side, pulling blankets off his body and nearly sending him tumbling off the mattress. Jongup has a hard time keeping the sudden snort from leaving his mouth.
Grinning from ear to ear, cheeks scrunching up endearingly, the vocalist exclaims with a slight childishness in his voice, “Already done.”
(Jongup moves from his bed and hangs off the railing of Junhong’s bunk right when Daehyun goes to wake up Himchan. Youngjae, from the ground, throws a pillow at Daehyun that misses and hits Yongguk square in his sleeping face.)
xxx
It’s almost seven thirty when the manager calls them and warns them to be ready in half an hour.
In retrospect, it seems like a lot of time (at least enough to keep Jongup from fumbling around, searching for his misplaced sneakers), but with six men running around the dorm, one increasingly small bathroom, and barely enough time to eat, it’s really not. (They always seem to make it work though.)
Yongguk is ready first-taking the least amount of time in the bathroom and even fixing them up a little meal for breakfast that they probably won’t even touch. Daehyun, Youngjae, and Himchan complain the most about who’s supposed to go first in the shower, and Junhong slides passed them all and claims it for himself. When Junhong finishes in eleven to twelve minutes, Himchan gives him grief about it while Daehyun and Youngjae sneak into the bathroom-taking turns with the shower and the sink (sometimes sharing if they’re really late). Himchan will pretend like he cares, take a surprisingly short, cold shower, and meet up with Yongguk at the kitchen table: maybe tossing a bit of food Daehyun and Youngjae’s way.
It’s chaotic, but it’s efficient. It works for them-they’re even early sometimes.
Jongup, however, is not.
He’s sluggish compared to the rest of them; sometimes getting flustered at the amount of time left and tripping over himself trying to put on a pair of jeans. The shower water is always ice cold, because he’s always the last one in, and the mirror is still too fogged up to see anything even if he wipes at it with a sleeve. He manages to drop his toothbrush (at least twice), the back of his shirt gets drenched from his hair, and he always (always) trips at the doorway (where bathroom tile meets carpet) trying to catch what time it is and how little he has left.
By the time he finally leaves the bathroom, it’s already almost time to leave, and then he has to depend on Junhong for the rest-gathering his stuff at the door and even placing a piece of food into his mouth the moment he steps through the doorframe.
(He feels bad about it, of course. It’s already been around four months since the whole hectic schedule thing started, and he’s still not used to it, but he’s glad Junhong’s always here to take care of him nonetheless.)
Thanks, Junhong, Jongup always tries to say, through a granola bar, or a piece of toast (this time it’s a nicely toasted bagel), and after practicing it for the last month, he’s finally managed to make it sound relatively like the words-“’fanksh, shunhong.”
With a smile and a slight nudge in the ribs, Junhong leads him out the door and laughs, “no problem, hyung.”
xxx
The same thing happens, everyday (,whenever they have a schedule), and it’s becoming more and more apparent to the other members that Jongup is not going to get over his habit of forgetting every single thing anytime soon. So Junhong, as the maknae and his closest friend, is given complete jurisdiction over Jongup-bad habits and all.
It should probably offend him, but it doesn’t-not when he’s already misplaced one of Himchan’s hair clips and two of Yongguk’s favorite pens for drawing. (They told him it was okay and that they’ve already replaced them, but he still feels a little guilty for it.)
Junhong’s very helpful, too, and he says he likes helping Jongup, so it’s sort of a win-win (at least, Jongup hopes it’s a win-win).
When Jongup walks out of the bathroom and thinks he’s finally remembered everything today, Junhong stops him short. (Again.)
“Hyung, your necklace,” Junhong reminds him, usually tapping Jongup lightly on the shoulder. He doesn’t even need to look to know that Jongup’s already left it on one of the dresser’s in their room (probably in the corner, near the mirror, wedged somewhere between Daehyun’s cosmetics and Himchan’s ridiculously aromatic hair products), and the dancer doesn’t know whether to feel grateful or flustered at the fact Junhong knows him so well.
Almost to be sure, Jongup grabs at the space around his neck and scratches at his collarbone in search of his lucky necklace-only to come up short. He can feel his face twist, and by the look of Junhong’s, he assumes he must look pretty amusing. “Thanks,” he mutters, before sauntering out of the room with a slight smile.
Through the course of another few months, Junhong’s become used to it, too-always running a quick hand through Jongup’s hair and chuckling when he brushes passed him; his new, unspoken way of saying ‘you’re welcome’.
xxx
“So,” Daehyun coos, landing on Youngjae’s lap and kicking his legs up on Himchan’s knees with an all too smug smirk on his lips. It’s a Thursday now, so they aren’t that busy: maybe a rehearsal or two but other than that-perfectly lax. After dancing, Jongup always chooses to stay home with the other hyungs, but Junhong and Yongguk always go out: practicing more than they really need to. The two are always so passionate about what they do-picking their one day off to run errands and compose lyrics (and maybe even study, if Junhong feels up to it).
On Thursdays, Junhong doesn’t have the time to hang like he usually does, but that’s okay, because Jongup knows that he’s way busier. Has the most fans, gets the most publicity, and balances Jongup on top of that all.
(Jongup still isn’t a big fan of Thursdays though.)
“How’s you and your boyfriend?” There’s a cutting impishness in his voice that doesn’t quite bother Jongup but causes Himchan to knock Daehyun alongside the head anyway. When the vocalist flinches away, Youngjae snickers with a point and a laugh and nearly drops him.
Jongup honestly has no idea who he’s talking about though, so he waits. Eyeing the three of them until they finally realize he wants them to elaborate on who Jongup could be dating.
When Himchan catches the look on his face, he completely waves Daehyun off-ready to smack him if he chooses to say another word. The brunette says something about being abusive, but the older man ignores him, turning to Jongup with a gentle smile. Jongup likes Himchan-he’s always so nice and he’s funny and (although he can get a little snippy with the others) he comforts Jongup a lot when he needs it. “Don’t worry about Daehyun. You know how he likes to pull stuff right out of his a-”
“I do not.”
Youngjae suddenly cuts in, poking the singer in the side with a cheeky grin, “see, he’s doing it right now!”
Despite himself-his still confusion and the fact he’s already thinking of ways to get Daehyun back for teasing him-Jongup smiles, staring at the pair of best friends as they bicker relentlessly. “Yeah, but who was he talking about?”
Himchan opens his mouth (probably to dismiss him and explain that Daehyun is just an idiot; you don’t need to listen to him), but before he can get a word out, Daehyun’s voice is cutting him off, dull and obvious like he can’t believe Jongup could be so dense: “Duh, Junhong. Geez, a few months ago you would’ve gotten that reference-”
“But obviously, he’s not his boyfriend.” Youngjae states for Jongup, poking Daehyun in the cheek, halting whatever tangent he was ready to go on. “Junhong and him are like you and me.”
“Right,” Himchan agrees, “or like me and Yongguk.”
“Yeah, that’s probably not the best comparison considering you two a-ow!” This time Daehyun gets smacked in the stomach.
“Point being, Junhong isn’t Jongup’s boyfriend, and you,” Youngjae takes a moment to point right at Jongup with comforting brown eyes, “you don’t need to worry about it.”
Himchan nods along while Daehyun nurses the two new bruises forming on his head and abdomen. Jongup doesn’t worry either until Himchan chimes in, something along the lines of, “Besides, Junhong is more like a crutch than a boyfriend,” leaving his mouth in oblivious truth.
Daehyun laughs. Youngjae stares at him like he’s probably said the stupidest thing alive, and Jongup doesn’t really process his words until later that day when Junhong gets home and immediately has to remind him to take a shower.
xxx
Jongup never thought about it before-how much he actually depends on Junhong-so when Junhong starts tagging along with Jongup everywhere (just to make sure he doesn’t lose a sock, a shoe, a comb, or a remote. To make sure he eats, gets enough sleep, and sometimes, when he starts to get a little fever, to nurse him back to health again), he starts to feel a little useless.
A couple of weeks ago, Jongup would’ve accepted it-embraced it, in fact. He would have thought the attention was nice and that Junhong reminded him a lot of his older brother: always taking care of him, steering him away from trouble, and reminding him to smile every now and then. (Junhong’s good at that-making him smile. He’s funny, too, with all the other things that he’s perfect at.) But now, with Daehyun ruthlessly teasing him about Junhong-day in and day out of the dorm, wondering whether or not Jongup can still move without the younger boy telling him which foot to step with first, Jongup thinks he might be right.
Because being friends with Junhong is a lot like being a kite. When Junhong is there, holding to the roll of yarn and stringing him along-making sure he stays lifted in the air-Jongup’s fine. And he’ll continue to think he’s fine even if Junhong lets him go, even if he leaves.
But when he finally does, when he finally lets Jongup try to fly on his own, the boy has no idea what to do.
The dancer can barely function without Junhong (and even though he tries to convince himself that Junhong needs him too-needs him around to make him laugh and smile and remember to sleep; he doesn’t).
But it doesn’t mean he’s useless, right? Junhong isn’t completely bothered by him.
(…right?)
xxx
It’s a hot August day, and Jongup is lying on the ground with Junhong’s legs lying lazily across his stomach, when the younger boy asks if Jongup wants a glass of water and the dancer replies with a murmur, voice the taddest bit guilty, “Don’t you ever get... tired of taking care of me?” When Junhong takes a little too long to answer, Jongup feels a little panicked (‘Oh, God, he thinks I’m annoying. He doesn’t want me around anymore. We can’t be friends-you’ve done it now, Moon Jongup-‘), and he silently wishes that Youngjae were here to smooth the situation out. He’s good at things like this when he wants to be. Talking. (Daehyun is, too, but it’s a special kind of talking that he’s good at, and Jongup would rather steer clear of something as disastrous as that.)
Then, almost like it’s the simplest question in the world, Junhong just shakes his head-new blonde and yellow-y blue hair tossing across his forehead.
Jongup raises himself up on his elbows, staring down at Junhong with imploring eyes. His voice is flat, like he doesn’t quite believe Junhong’s answer, but the younger boy pretends not to notice (or doesn’t notice at all), “Really? Not at all? You don’t get tired of making lunch for me everyday and making my bed whenever I forget? You don’t get annoyed at anything?”
There’s a small spark of something in Junhong’s eyes then-something like alarm, and it’s so brief that Jongup nearly misses it. Like the teen’s trying to tell him something, but he doesn’t know how to say it without hurting Jongup’s feelings. A second later, the tension leaves his face though, and he answers, honestly (Jongup tries, but he can’t detect a single thing in his voice that says he’s lying to him), “I don’t get tired of taking care of you,” with a ring of double-meaning in his words.
Before Jongup has a chance to ask about it though, Junhong is already up, getting him a glass of water even though he never asked for one and saying, “You don’t need to worry about it, okay?”
xxx
Junhong’s starting to look worse lately.
He tries to cover it up by joking around (by smothering Jongup even more with interrogations of eating and sleeping and taking care of himself even though he’s the one who really needs it), but Jongup can see it even though he barely noticed in the first place.
The more he confronts him about it though, the more Junhong lies. The more he tells Jongup not to worry, and the more he tries to do for him-sometimes even staying up later than the dancer to throw an extra blanket over him on the bed.
The older boy tries to keep him from doing it, but he doesn’t-the more he tries to talk about it with him, the worse it gets.
(And Jongup has no idea what to do.)
xxx
When Junhong starts picking out Jongup’s clothes for him in the morning-every morning-the other hyungs start to get a little concerned, too.
Yongguk stops Jongup in the middle of the kitchen, a plate of fresh eggs in his hands and a look of worry in his eyes as he watches Junhong narrowly dodging Youngjae on his way to the room. With a slight nod at him, Yongguk manages to ask, “Is he okay?” without his voice completely cracking from concern.
With a blink (maybe two, maybe three), Jongup doesn’t know how to answer, opting to play with the fork on his plate before finally shaking his head, glancing over when Yongguk winces. Junhong’s zipping down the hallway again, but this time he actually collides with Himchan, falling to the ground with a small yelp. Jongup bites his lip-the sudden darkness around the rapper’s eyes and the bleariness in the way that he speaks when he apologizes suddenly becoming very apparent. “I… I don’t know…” He answers truthfully, almost cringing when the younger boy merely laughs it off and goes right back to whatever he was doing, leaving Himchan stunned-staring after him.
Yongguk purses his lips, squeezing Jongup on the shoulder gently. “I mean, he hasn’t complained to you about anything, right? About doing… well, everything for you?”
There’s a sudden twitch in his mouth at the way Yongguk says that, but it’s completely true, so Jongup can’t exactly argue-not with Junhong walking around like a zombie. Jongup’s only unnerved about the fact that Junhong hasn’t said a single word of complaint. He’s only added to his work load since he started, and Jongup knows it. Has been trying to tell him to cool off only to get the complete opposite effect. But even then all he was worried about (all he was afraid of) was being a burden.
He never really thought about Junhong breaking down like this-taking too much because he thinks he can’t afford to take too little.
He forgot Junhong could be this naïve.
(He forgot that Junhong is naïve-young and impressionable in the worst of ways. Forgot that Junhong isn’t bulletproof, that he isn’t immune to everything even though he acts like he is. He’s only fifteen-only homesick all the time and stressed from work and performances and interviews-hoping the fans like him and hoping his dream won’t die on him.
Hoping that hard work will prevent that from ever happening.)
And Jongup shakes his head, the worry that he’s been feeling for the past month striking him in the gut and flaring right to the back of his head like he’s being electrocuted. With a slight tremor in his voice, he murmurs, thinking about Junhong-how small he really is despite his over average height. How he walks and talks like he’s superman when all he is, is a boy-“Should I be worried, hyung?”
The older man lets the hand on Jongup’s shoulder drop before he says sternly, “No,” even though he doesn’t look too sure about his answer, “no. Don’t worry. He’ll go to you if something’s wrong. You’re his best friend.”
And Jongup thinks about the words Junhong said that day (the way he looked at him when he said I don’t get tired of taking care of you when what he really meant was I’m just tired of taking care of myself), and he thinks about how it’s a little too late for him not to worry anymore.
Because he’s sick and tired of people telling him not to worry when he really, really needs to.
(He’s ashamed that it took him this long to figure it out, and he doesn’t have the heart to blame it on the forgetfulness this time.)
xxx
That night, Jongup’s so absorbed with worrying about Junhong that he doesn’t sleep.
He lies in bed and stares at the bottom of the mattress above him, counting the amount of times Junhong’s helped him in the past few months and curling up when the number nearly reaches triple digits. The fact that he can’t think of a single time where he helped Junhong makes it all the more disappointing.
So, when it’s near three o’clock in the morning and everyone else is asleep but him (when he catches Junhong tossing and turning in the bunk above him, whispering in his sleep so quietly it could almost be a whimper: “Mom…”), Jongup decides that he needs to do something about this.
xxx
When it’s six and Jongup realizes he’s not going to get any sleep that day, he rushes to pick out his own clothes for the day. Remembers pants, a t-shirt, an accessory and rushes to the bathroom before Daehyun, who is always the first one awake, can even wake up.
His shower is quick, which is good.
(But he forgets his underwear and towels.
Which is bad, but at least Junhong doesn’t have to pick out his outfit.)
xxx
He figures this is going to be a slow process. It’s been months since he’s actually done anything for himself, so when he’s walking around, he forgets which cabinet they leave the bowls in, in the kitchen, and he doesn’t remember what Junhong’s favorite breakfast dish is, but he manages. He has plenty of time though (the others don’t usually wake up for another hour, and it’s Thursday, so they don’t really need to wake up until much, much later), so it’s okay.
Jongup figures he has a few hours before Junhong is going to wake up and try to pick out an outfit for him. Try to remind him that he needs to brush his teeth and use that specific shampoo that he likes, because the one that Daehyun uses stinks. (Too bad Jongup didn’t remember that this morning, and he’s stuck smelling like a wet cat.) A few hours to prepare an amazing breakfast for Junhong, pick out his clothes, sit him down, and make sure he doesn’t do anything himself today.
It might take a few tries, but he’ll be able to do it.
(Junhong does it, so it can’t be that hard.)
Jongup decides to make him waffles.
xxx
The moment Daehyun fumbles into the kitchen, eyes alert and hair tossed over his face like a bird’s nest, Jongup figures he might be doing something wrong.
Daehyun opens his mouth just slightly but no words escape him. He blinks while Jongup stirs the batter in a bowl with a whisk before he glances down at the contents, too. When the vocalist doesn’t say a word, Jongup decides he might be doing something really wrong (because Daehyun just doesn’t stop talking. It’s against his nature.)
A second later though, Daehyun says, with his morning breath and a deep undertone from still drowsiness, “You forgot the eggs.”
“...damn it.”
xxx
Daehyun doesn’t help him with the cooking. Of course, Jongup doesn’t mind (he’s tasted Daehyun’s cooking before, and he definitely does not want Junhong biting into a raw waffle), so he counts his blessings and asks him to wake up Youngjae. (Out of the six of them, Youngjae’s cooking is probably the most decent-tied with Yongguk’s.)
While the vocalist leaves, Jongup waits at one of the kitchen counters, setting his bowl of messed up batter on the surface and tapping his foot against the tiled floor until Youngjae emerges into the kitchen with a confused scowl and (ridiculously tame) hair. There’s a moment where he does exactly what Daehyun did and freezes-taking in the sight of Jongup in the kitchen, making a bowl of (not-quite) waffles.
Then he says (or at least tries to say), “You forgot the eg-”
“Shut up.”
xxx
By the time he’s (finally) finished with the waffles, Yongguk and Himchan wake up, too.
Thankfully, they don’t give Jongup that over-exaggerated look of shock like Daehyun and Youngjae did, but they do seem a little perplexed at the fact Jongup is awake without Junhong by his side. When he tells them not to wake the younger boy up until he’s finished with the eggs, bacon and sausage (the whole shebang), they smile and have this look of proudness and approval in their eyes that makes Jongup want to slink away.
Ten minutes later, he and Youngjae (but mostly Youngjae) have a whole table of food ready for Junhong to eat, and Himchan has to smack Daehyun over the head to get him to stay away from it.
xxx
“Junhong-ah…” Jongup murmurs, shaking the younger boy slightly-not quite enough to wake him up but just enough to stir his sleep. He doesn’t want to wake him up (he really doesn’t), but if Junhong doesn’t get to the table fast enough, Daehyun is probably going to inhale all his food without a second’s thought.
The dark circles around his eyes don’t really help Jongup’s unwillingness, but before he can even stop himself, Junhong’s eyes are opening with a flutter, a brilliant bleary brown staring at him. He groans-deep in his throat-a slight, involuntarily remark of, “Five more minutes, bro,” lilting off his heavy tongue as he rolls on the bed, back turned to the older boy. (Jongup tries not to let the fact that Junhong mistook him for his older brother daunt him.)
Jongup raises himself onto his tiptoes, trying to lean over the railing and catch a glimpse of Junhong pressing his face against his pillow. He sees his cheek squished against the mattress, and he smiles as he says, “Okay, but Daehyun the dinosaur might try to eat your waffles.”
“Who the hell is Daehyun the dino-” Junhong slurs, cutting himself off by suddenly sitting up and turning. Jongup smiles at him, and he waves as Junhong peers at the other bunks with sleepy concern on his face, looking for Yongguk snoring (or Himchan curled into a too-small blanket or Youngjae drooling all over his pillow) but finding nothing. “…am I missing something?”
“Besides sleep?” Jongup supplies, taking a moment to graze the slight purple around the edges of his eyelids with his fingers before hopping off the bunk-narrowly landing on the heels of his feet. “You’re missing breakfast.”
Junhong sighs, and Jongup hates the look of disappointment on his face. Like he prides himself in being the first one Jongup wakes up, but he nods anyway. “You go first. I have to pick out your…” The rapper trails off. Rubs his eyes to sees what Jongup’s wearing and furrows his brow. Jongup can’t help the smile on his face. With a scratch of his head, Junhong climbs down his bed, purses his lips, and continues, “Well… okay, I have to pick out my outf-”
“Nope. Not today. That’s my job. You are going to eat and then you are going to do nothing.”
Before Junhong can even protest, Jongup is already shoving him toward the kitchen. Just in time to see Yongguk shaking his head at Himchan who’s holding back Daehyun who’s being scolded by Youngjae because of the piece of bacon in his mouth.
And Junhong mumbles, suppressing a smile, “So that’s who Daehyun the dinosaur is.”
(Jongup feels a little proud.)
xxx
(He feels a little less so when he’s picking out Junhong’s clothes and he has no idea what he wears.)
He’s not like Junhong, who’s aiming to be a fashionista (among other things. Many, many other things). Jongup can throw on jeans and a t-shirt and call himself presentable, and he knows he can do the same thing with Junhong, but he also knows the younger boy wouldn’t be too happy about it. (He thinks about asking Youngjae to help him again, but then he thinks about how that would defeat the whole purpose of making up for all the things that Junhong has done for him, so he decides against it.)
With a little annoyed groan, Jongup taps his foot on the ground, hands on his hips, and eyes on Junhong’s closet. He makes a grab for a tie-dye t-shirt before Himchan walks passed him, glances where his hands are reaching for, and says, “ew.”
Jongup physically deflates, and Himchan quickly apologizes, trying to take it back.
“I’m not good at this,” Jongup sighs.
Himchan nods, understanding playing on the edges off his arched eyebrows. “Well, when worse comes for worse, just pick out something you’d wear. Junhong admires you anyway-I think he’d like anything you pick out.”
Which isn’t very good advice, but Jongup doesn’t complain anyway. (Because he likes Himchan. At least he’s trying.)
“How about those cute crocodile shorts with a white t-shirt?” Yongguk chips in, just now walking through the bedroom door, “He can wear that necklace he has that looks like yours, too, and you guys can ma-”
Youngjae comes filing in with Daehyun clinging to his side and says, “Hyung, no,” before he can continue.
Yongguk purses his lips while Daehyun snickers.
Jongup realizes Junhong is probably the only helpful one out of the six of them.
xxx
“Okay, I have a beanie, black skinny jeans, and a white t-shirt with a watch as an accessory. Am I missing anything?”
“Underwear?” Daehyun chimes.
“Obviously I already have his underwear.”
“I still think the crocodile shorts would be-”
“Hyung,” Youngjae shakes his head. “No.”
“I think you got everything,” Himchan tells him. (Smiles, probably just to reassure Jongup that what he’s picked out is perfectly fine.)
Jongup attempts a reply, but Junhong walks into the room before he can say a word.
The younger boy looks around the room: Jongup standing next to his closet, clothes in hand, and everyone else lazing around their beds.
“Did you clean up your plate?” Youngjae asks, breaking the silence whilst playing with Himchan’s hair.
There’s a look of apology on Junhong’s face, and he shakes his head, turning on the balls of his feet as he speaks, “No, I’ll-”
“I’ll do it!” Jongup shouts, practically running toward the door to keep Junhong from leaving and carefully placing the clothes in Junhong’s arms.
(He doesn’t catch the look on the younger boy’s face then, but later, Yongguk will tell him about it with the fondest of smiles.)
xxx
Throughout the day, Jongup makes sure Junhong barely lifts a finger, constantly asks if he wants or needs anything. He especially helps him during practice, and he even tags along with him and Yongguk to run errands. He doesn’t help with writing lyrics (he isn’t much of a lyricist) but that’s okay, because he helps him study for an English test later. (There’s a benefit to listening to Chris Brown everyday after all.)
And throughout the day, Junhong gives him sidelong glances, silently wondering what in the world Jongup is doing. (When he thinks Jongup isn’t listening, he even leans over to whisper-ask Yongguk why Jongup’s acting so weird.)
It doesn’t exactly matter to Jongup though. (Just as long as he can finally take care of his dongsaeng.)
xxx
“So what’s up?” Junhong asks him when they’re back at the dorm, and Jongup wonders if he wants something to eat for lunch. There’s a sort of smile on his lips that’s a little too quirked to be considered amused and a little too turned up not to be. “Is it opposite day or something?”
“What? No.”
His face suddenly turns horrified. “Don’t tell me; I forgot my birthday again, didn’t I?”
Jongup makes a face. Shakes his head.
Then, Junhong looks confused. “Oh no, have aliens finally took o-”
“Junhong!”
The younger boy chuckles, and Jongup resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Then what did I do? Why are you being so… so-”
“-helpful?” Jongup provides, eyebrows arched, but nonetheless, unoffended.
Junhong, however, seems a little reluctant to let that pass. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Can’t a hyung take care of his dongsaeng?”
“Not you.”
This time, Jongup feels a little hurt, “Ouch.”
The look on Junhong’s face clearly says that that isn’t what he meant either, but he continues, stopping Jongup in the kitchen while the others are away-probably in the room. He leans on the counter, looking at anywhere but Jongup, and the older boy doesn’t know if it’s because he’s conflicted between telling Jongup to stop or continue. “I told you I liked helping you, remember-”
“Yeah, but since you’re so busy taking care of me, you barely take care of yourself.” To keep the tension out of the atmosphere, Jongup opens their fridge and searches for something to make Junhong without needing any assistance. A sandwich, he decides, with a lot of tomatoes. “I know you want someone to take care of you-”
“That’s not true.”
“Well, then, you miss having someone take care of you,” Jongup amends, taking out fresh tomatoes, some meat, cheese, and lettuce from the fridge. Junhong’s at a loss for words, and he starts playing with his hands. Jongup figures he’s probably guessed right, so instead of elaborating, he changes the subject. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll have your sandwich done in a sec.”
There’s a tiny hint of protest in the way Junhong holds his lips together, but he listens anyway-unsure of what else to do. “Okay…”
And Jongup’s pretty sure this isn’t really how the ‘helping’ is supposed to go, because Junhong doesn’t look grateful-he just looks uncomfortable, but the older boy doesn’t know what else to do to help him out, so he continues.
xxx
Junhong isn’t very vocal with what he wants, so Jongup just does everything Junhong would do for him on a normal day. He makes sure that the television is free so he can watch his favorite TV shows, he keeps his room space (relatively) clean, he keeps him fed, and he makes sure the hyungs don’t tease him too much (in Junhong’s case though, it isn’t that often. For some reason, Jongup is more often than not the butt of all Daehyun and Youngjae’s jokes).
So when it’s finally time to get to bed-when it’s eleven o’clock at night and everyone else is asleep but them-and Junhong whisper-speaks into the dead silence, voice cracking just slightly, “Is it still opposite day, hyung?”
(And even if it weren’t, even if it really isn’t, Jongup would still say,) “Yeah.”
His voice is so quiet Jongup has to strain his ears to hear his request, “Can you sleep with me tonight?”
Without a word, Jongup crawls out of bed and climbs into Junhong’s. The younger boy is curled in his blankets at the edge of the bed, already making more than enough room for the dancer to scoot into. He looks almost embarrassed-Junhong. The look in his eyes screams apology, but his lips are pursed so tight together that they’re white-so tight that he can’t say a thing. His brown eyes glance up at him, and they’re tinted red with what looks like tears. “What’s wrong?”
Sighing, Junhong musters up a big enough voice to tell him, “Nightmares,” with mumbled diligence, still eyeing Jongup like he’s going to start making fun of him at any second.
To prove that he isn’t, Jongup gives him a smile, slipping himself between the railing and Junhong’s tiny looking frame (despite how big he usually seems). For the first time in a long while, Jongup feels bigger than him-like Junhong’s finally acting like the kid he’s supposed to be. “What are you having nightmares about?”
In a split second, Junhong’s eyes water, and without thinking about it, Jongup wraps his arms around the blanket and pulls him in closer until Junhong’s face is pressed into his chest. “My f-family,” He breathes-a sudden, shaky rush of breath that’s meant to calm him down. Jongup’s not going to make him elaborate. He knows how that’s like: missing your family. Being away from them for so long after sticking with them your whole life. You start to miss them, you start to worry, and then, after a long, long time (too long), you start to imagine the worst. “I miss them, Jongup hyung. It’s not even that I miss them taking care of me; I just miss them.”
And Jongup doesn’t know what to say, because he’s not the best when it comes to words. That’s why he picked up dancing-feelings are much better explained through actions-so instead of speaking, of opening his mouth at risk of ruining the moment, Jongup only combs through Junhong’s hair and pulls him closer: feet almost touching underneath the covers. Jongup doesn’t know if it helps, but Junhong starts to cling-fingers digging into his shoulder blades like he’s expecting Jongup to disappear, too.
“Don’t worry,” Jongup murmurs, on impulse. Junhong relaxes a little more in his grip. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m super hyung: nightmares are no match for me.”
Beneath a chuckle, Junhong lets out a strangled sob.
And beneath his breath, Jongup starts to hum-hoping it’s soothing enough to lull Junhong to sleep and smiling when it does.
xxx
The next morning, Jongup wakes up sprawled all over Junhong’s bed-Junhong nowhere in sight.
He turns over, slightly groggy but nonetheless, awake.
His eyes suddenly meet brown irises, staring down at him with pure curiosity.
(It takes Jongup a second to realize it’s Junhong.)
He straightens in bed and nearly hits his head on the ceiling. Junhong smiles at him, all teeth and slight tongue. “Sleep nice, super hyung?”
Jongup smiles despite the pull of his eyes begging him to go back to bed. “Yeah, actually.”
“I’m glad,” Junhong announces simply, and before Jongup can ask if he did the same, he answers, eyes lighter than they’ve been in a month. “I slept pretty well, too.” There’s a fond twinkle in his eyes-one that’s completely foreign to Jongup. “You know, despite you grinding your teeth right in my ear.”
“This coming from the momma’s boy who cries in his sleep.” Jongup points out, rather dully. Instead of retorting, Junhong turns away to search for something in his pocket, and Jongup feels just the slightest bit confused, “What are you doing?”
As an answer, Junhong shoves a piece of paper in his face.
The first thing that Jongup reads is the title, written in sloppy handwriting: Jongup Hyung’s List of Things to Do When the Hyungs (and Junhong) Are Busy.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a list,” Junhong answers in the simplest of ways. “You know, for the weekends or something. When our schedules are really hectic and you don’t want to ask any of us for help. Even though I insist that I like helping you out; I can see that it sort of bothers you that I focus more on you than myself after yesterday, so I thought I’d make you a list to help you remember all the stuff you need to do. We can try it out today, and it’ll be the only thing I have to remind you about everyday, so I have plenty of time to take care of myself now. If it doesn’t work, we can try something-”
Jongup doesn’t realize that he’s leaning forward until he has his arms wrapped around Junhong’s neck, and he nearly falls off the bunk.
“-else?” Junhong finishes, voice suddenly cracking-pitch suddenly too high. “So I’m assuming you like the idea?”
Jongup squeezes tighter to Junhong’s shoulders, bracing himself against the railing, “It’s childish and anticlimactically simple.”
“So…?” Junhong asks, pulling away to look Jongup in the eyes, waiting expectantly for an answer.
“I love it.”
xxx
“Considering it made you use a word as big as ‘anticlimactically’ I’d be really disappointed if you didn’t.”
xxx
“The List”, put quite simply, is a perfect arrangement.
Admittedly, it doesn’t work for the first couple of weeks, but it’s certainly better than him running around like a headless chicken, only calming down when Junhong slows him enough to pick out his clothes, throw him into the shower, and do his hair when he comes out. By the third week though, he only forgets to put on deodorant (which wasn’t so bad despite the fact Youngjae claimed the stench would blind him). He remembers towels when he goes to take his shower, and he even remembers not to use Daehyun’s grotesquely smelling wet-cat shampoo.
When the first month passes with The List, he doesn’t forget a single thing. Junhong literally never has to correct him anymore. He doesn’t even leave The List everywhere either. Jongup knows exactly where he leaves it whenever he does, because it’s something that Junhong made for him-he’s definitely not losing anything as important as that.
(And when Junhong smiles at him at the breakfast table-eyes completely clear, not a single dark mark in sight-he feels the slightest bit accomplished.)
xxx
He’d be lying though if he said that he didn’t miss Junhong trailing after him all the time though, fixing his mistakes and acting like he’s older than he really is.
xxx
A few weeks later, when they have their first big award ceremony, Jongup is so flustered he can barely button his shirt.
Junhong and Jongup get ready in the room, standing in front of the mirror and silently checking and rechecking their appearance.
Jongup turns, a bagel in hand while letting out a huge breath, to look over The List again-just to make sure he didn’t forget anything, and Junhong glances over at him with a slight smile. There isn’t enough time to ask him why, but Junhong speaks anyway, talking over Yongguk and Himchan sprinting in and out of the room, discussing wardrobe and hairstyles, and Daehyun and Youngjae bickering per usual, “Jongup hyung, I think you’re forgetting something.”
“Really?” A little alarmed, Jongup turns toward him before quickly scanning over The List again-finding nothing and becoming completely confused. (It’s been a month since he last forgot something; what could he have forgotten?) He presses his lips together, slightly frustrated, asking before finally stuffing the bagel into his mouth, “What did I forget now?”
“The back of your shirt is sticking out.”
Turning around in circles, Jongup attempts to see where Junhong’s pointing at his lower back, and when his attempts become futile, the younger boy chuckles and steps forward, carefully tucking the tail of Jongup’s shirt into his slacks.
Jongup says, out of sudden habit, “’fanksh, shunhong,” looking up at Junhong with what he hopes is gratitude.
And with a smile and a slight nudge to his ribs, Junhong ruffles his hair and leads Jongup to the door laughing, “no problem, hyung,” a wrinkle in his nose and a playfulness in his voice.
-----kay, i'm just gonna go read the other fics in the exchange now. i was scared to read before because mine probably pales in comparison to all the other lovely writers sob. thank you for reading through my attempt at jonglo! ^^