Avengers Fic: "Fly Away Home" Steve/Tony (Stony Bingo 2016!) Parts 4 & 5
Links to Summary, Author's Various Notes, and Parts 1, 2, & 3 here: Parts 1-3
**************************************
FOUR: “Magazine Cover”
**************************************
“Hey Tony,” says Steve, his carefully neutral voice sending alarm bells through Tony’s mind. “You’re on the cover of Futura again.”
“Relax,” replies Tony, relieved. “I didn’t sneak off. I did a photo shoot for them last year. In a bunch of outfits, and told them they could call me for a quote and then use them at will; it’s good publicity for S.I.”
He’s lying on the couch in the common room, despondently playing with his tablet. Even though Pepper’s broken up with him, she still runs his life, and as much as she usually nags him to go to meetings and the like, after this latest kidnapping, she won’t let him go to any meetings, or to his office, or even to the lab. They’re all a bit freaked, and Tony is too, to be honest-this last time, after Tony teased some new tech innovations in an interview with TIME magazine, apparently, one of his competitors, someone calling himself Dr. Rider, had him kidnapped. Tony had gone to an arranged lunch meeting with someone purporting to be from a tech group called A.I.M., it had all checked out, and then the next thing he knew, he was in a white cell without doors or windows.
They’d asked him for his tech. When he refused, they were very polite, and just told him to let them know when he changed his mind. Then, except for a couple of incidents, they mostly left him alone.
It had taken three weeks for the Avengers to find him. He’d started talking to himself, talking to the others, he didn’t even know what he’d said. He had no way to get out-these guys were smart, and scary. All he had was to hope JARVIS could trace him, and JARVIS did.
But when they finally get him out, and he’s a bit roughed up, sure, but not even that badly injured--they’re all pretty upset with him, and they won’t really tell him why.
It freaks him out, but he’s trying to go with it, to appease them somewhat until things settle. Plus, Pepper has made the Avengers promise to keep an eye on him, and while Tony didn’t think any of them would agree, they’ve not only agreed, but taken their vow (especially Steve) far too seriously, in his opinion. Even Tony isn’t quite crazy enough (or, let’s be honest, skilled enough) to escape the lot of them.
Plus, he’s tired, and the broken ribs, particularly the ones near the reactor, are still giving him grief. The doctors had nagged him about it when they last came to examine him, blathering on about rest and close monitoring and a bunch of other stuff he ignored, until they left and Clint, who apparently never got the memo about privacy and personal health information, dropped out of the ceiling to glare at Tony about the whole thing.
As if Tony had gotten himself kidnapped--again--on purpose.
As if he’d planned to waste their time trying to get him out, when if they’d just given JARVIS a little more time--
Anyway, after that whole fiasco, he’s had to say good bye to any hope of lab time, let alone communication with his company, even R&D.
Which is killing him, because there are at least three projects, aside from the new Stark phone, that he is dying to check in on and get an update on. Sure, he’d picked the project leads himself, but he still likes to keep connected.
He sighs, and goes back to tweaking the Mark 24 armor the best he can without getting to test anything.
Until it’s gently removed from his grasp.
“You’re supposed to be resting,” says Steve, smiling at him, only the hint of a rebuke in his eyes.
“I’m bored,” Tony protests.
“Well, isn’t this usually when we hang out in the lab? I can hang out here just as well while you rest.”
“Excuse you,” retorts Tony. “I don’t hang out. I am busy doing Very Important things, I’ll have you know-“
“Tony, the last time you were in the lab, you tried to make the toaster oven sing Rubber Ducky whenever Clint came within a two foot radius.”
“That’s very important! I’m trying to make Clint feel welcome and at home! Really, Steve, I though you’d support my efforts to at team building.“
“I’m not sure what we considered team building and what you consider team building are the same thing.”
“You mean back in the day? I’m not inclined to eat ration bars in a trench, Steven Grant. And don’t tell me you miss them.”
“Not the ration bars, no.” There was a shadow in Steve’s eyes, then, and Tony cursed himself. Steve had been spending the most time with him, since he’d been back-since before that, really, and whatever Tony wished, Steve didn’t owe him anything. Steve only did it because he was a decent guy, and he didn’t deserve half of all the shit that had happened to him.
Steve, Tony was sure, deserved everything.
“Buck’s-Steve, Bucky’s fine. You know he is. And we’re going to find a way to get him back. I swear.“
“If anyone can, Tony, it’d be you. I trust you,” said Steve, smiling down at Tony in a way that Tony had spent the last two years trying to ignore, but now that Pepper and he’d been broken up (almost eight months, it seems so long and not long enough, even though he’s starting to see she’d been right and this is better) it’s getting harder.
Steve’s not his, though. Steve’s got a whole other world he misses, a whole other world he can’t let go of, and a whole world waiting for him when he does. Tony’s not a part of that, not in the ways that count. Tony’s just a pit stop on his way.
The Avengers Assemble alarm starts to blare.
Steve is already leaping to his feet, twisting back only to say, “Tony, you’re benched, everyone else--Quinjet in five, go now.”
Five seconds later, the room is silent and empty. Tony drags himself to his feet, snatching his tablet, getting JARVIS to cut into the feed.
Robotic animal hybrids, apparently. Robotic animal hybrids, and - there’s acid, and Cap’s voice is steady, steady but with a note of stress, Hulk is roaring, but Bruce doesn’t really do robotics, and this smacks of A.I.M., what they said they’d do, and why is Thor not around, they need Thor-they need Iron Man-
He’s just a consultant, which means that technically he’s an independent contractor. They can’t bench him. He does what he wants.
And Iron Man wants to Assemble.
**********************
Cap, predictably, pitches a fit when Tony arrives at the scene of the battle, in the skies just to the west of Kansas City.
“Iron Man!” cries Cap, “what are you doing here?”
“Uh, battling whatever the hell these robotic random creatures are, obviously, what are you doing here?” Tony retorts, throwing a repulsor blast at a pesky flying whatever-it-is and swooping down to give Natasha a lift.
“You’re benched!” yells Black Widow even as he’s setting her down. “You idiot!”
“Nope,” says Tony. “I’m clearly not. Check your four o’clock, Widow.” Natasha swings around and does just that, taking the robot whatever it is behind her out without it ever even seeing her. “What’s the deal here, why on earth is Doom attacking here? And what even are these things? Pigdragons? Lizardgerbils? What?”
“I have no idea what rich people pets you had, Stark,” says Clint, “but there weren’t no gerbils that size where I came from. Seriously, Tony, we can handle this, you don’t-“
“Focus, birdbrain, I’m fine. You nearly got clawed there. By a flying rodent.”
As he speaks, the Hulk conveniently smashes the rat slash cougar thing, roaring up at the sky.
“Iron Man, I’m ordering you to retreat,” says Cap.
“You can’t, Cap, I’m not an Avenger, remember? I’m just here on an independent basis.”
“What the hell are you on about, Stark?” snaps Hawkeye, shooting arrow after arrow at the creatures to no avail.
“Interesting, each of these things is different, I wonder what exactly Hydra is-it’s the collar, do you see it?“
“Yeah, the one that’s flashing? I bet I could hit it.”
“I bet you could too, Hawkeye. Did I give you those disruptor arrows yet?”
“Sure did.”
“I like field tests, don’t you?”
“Iron Man, I know you didn’t give Hawkeye untested equipment, stop trying to distract me like that. Nice job, though, now please withdraw from the field. Hawkeye, we’ll just get them into position so you can pick them off, easy-“
“Tony, watch it-“
But it’s too late. He turns at the warning, but he’s still not quite 100%, and the last of the creatures claws across the armor, managing to find a seam and tearing. The claws must be adamantium, must be because Tony’s spinning, he’s spinning and spinning and how did Hydra produce this much adamantium, anyway, this is a problem, he needs to-
He blinks, and he’s on the ground, and something, something is-
“Tony, Tony can you hear me?”
“Brucie, why’re you in my room naked? This is a good dream.”
“Tony, focus for a second, where are the catches for the bottom half of the suit?”
“I don’t-“
Something feels off, and then Tony can make out JARVIS’ voice, “Sir, sir, the lower torso plate is dented, it is cutting into your skin. Blood loss is estimated at approximately 1 litre.”
Natasha is yelling at him. “Do not,” she snarled, “ever do that again. You are one of us, you understand? You’re ours, and we don’t-“
Tony’s can feel the blood seeping on the left side of where his lower ribcage would be, making everything uncomfortably squishy. He doesn’t like it. “No, I’m not,” says Tony, gasping, “Tony Stark not recommended, remember? You-“
“Don’t be stupid,” says Natasha. “And stop talking. Does your chest hurt?”
“Are you asking if I have a heartache? Really? Because you shot me down, what, five times-“ he breaks off coughing, and his throat dries up. She presses down harder, and it hurts, badly, but he can’t manage to force out the words of protest.
“Where are the damn medics?” she snarls, “and I didn’t. I was supposed to seduce you, moron, and you didn’t bite.”
“No! I couldn’t have-“
“You hide your decency, but I found it anyway, even if I left it out of the report. You didn’t take advantage of me, Tony, when you could have, and that means I like you. You tell anyone, I’ll kill you myself.”
“Might not have to go to the effort-“ Tony begins, gasping. His chest hurts almost as much as his left side does, and his arm feels numb.
“Shut up, moron! You die on me, I won’t just kill you, I’ll make it painful. And if you survive me, you’ll still need to deal with Cap. Right. I can see you understand me. Where are the damn medics?”
“Tasha,” gasps Tony, his hand flailing towards her until she catches it, “Tell-Tell Steve-“
“Oh, bozhe moi, are we in some kind of badly scripted television drama? Seriously? You can tell Cap anything you want yourself, you idiot. Don’t be stupid. As if I’d get involved between you two. Medic! Over here! Maybe you can make him less stupid.”
************
He wakes up in a hospital bed, again. This is a problem. It’s a problem, and becomes a bigger problem when he sees Natasha. Her mouth is a thin line, and she looks displeased. Like, she looks seriously pissed off. A pissed off Natasha never bodes well. Tony tries a smile.
Natasha does not return it.
“Um, so, can someone hook me up with a phone? I just-“
“There’s no one you need to call, Tony. We’ve called Pepper already for you. Relax.”
“Yes, well, now that I’m awake, I’ll just, you know, call Happy-“
“Like I said, Tony,” says Natasha, “relax. No one you need to call.”
“Listen, Widow,” says Tony, “I know this whole medical shtick is SHIELD procedure but you know, I’m just a consultant-not really SHIELD and besides, I’m a Stark, of course I have my own private physician and you know how she likes to play doctor-hey,” he says, trying to move back as the nurse kept approaching, “you guys can practice on Clint or something, go on, shoo-no, really, I’m sure you can’t afford the liability -“
“You’re not leaving, Stark,” interrupts Clint. “Stop wasting your energy. Also, you’ve been out for three days. The rest of us have been gotten ourselves patched up and debriefed in that time. Only you’re left. And guess what? We’ve had a lot of time to make sure your debrief will be extra-special.”
Tony tries not to wince. Clint isn’t usually serious, but the thing is-when Clint is serious, it never bodes well.
“Be gentle, I’m hurt?” Tony tried.
Clint snorted. You’re an Avenger, Tony, do you get that? I don’t care what shit Fury or whoever told you, you’re one of us and if you’re too thick to realize that, after everything, after everything we’ve done or said, well, then, maybe you shouldn’t-“ Clint pauses and turns away taking a breath. “I’m out of here. Tasha?”
“Right behind you, Barton. There’s no point. He’s Cap’s problem, now.”
“Damn straight.” And oh, God, that’s Steve. Tony tries to turn his head to the side, but isn’t quite able to manage it. He breathes through the panic.
“You’ve got a head wound, Tony,” says Steve, no quarter in his face or tone. “They’ve put you in a collar, so you can’t move around.”
“Can you get it off?” asks Tony, a little more plaintive than he’d like.
“No,” says Steve. “You need to keep that on, Tony.”
Tony bites his tongue and tries very hard not to squirm. He’s not sure it works. It was no secret, and Steve well knew that Tony hated hospitals. Having your first major medical procedure done without anaesthetic in a sweltering cave would do that to a guy.
Well, correction. It wasn’t just hospitals. It was anything medical, really. The sight of an IV, hell, even the smell of disinfectant, some days-well, most days; his surgery may have been done in a cave, but Yinsen had been liberal with the disinfectant (he’d had to be, in those conditions, and even then he’d said it was a minor miracle that Tony hadn’t ended up with some kind of raging infection)-gave Tony memories and triggers he’d rather not deal with. Even if the superhero business was injury prone. Because it didn’t matter. If it was up to him, and let’s face it, it always was--he’d take pain over dealing with the kind of pain the medical profession could inflict any day.
Except, apparently, this time.
“I’m not going to argue with you, Tony,” says Steve when Tony opens his mouth, “so I’ll tell you what I’ve already told the doctors, and the team. Two days. You stay here two days, and then I’m taking you to the Tower.”
“Really?” Tony blinks, trying to hide the strain in his voice. He’s been-he can do two days. If that’s all it is, he can tolerate that, he can survive that.
“Yes.”
“They agreed to that?” Tentatively, because there’s a catch, there’s always a catch.
“No. It’s what is going to happen. All right?”
“Yes.” Tony can’t help the smile spreading across his face, and blames the drugs. Steve’s word is sure and firm, and Steve doesn’t lie. And because Steve knows him. Steve knows him, and so he got him the best deal-better than he’d have gotten himself, probably-that he could. Tony never even had to ask. No wonder Natasha is pissed.
“Bruce?”
“Won’t talk to me. You know Bruce-he’s fairly laid back, but he’s stubborn as heck.”
“Like someone else I know.”
“Oh, I know someone worse,” says Steve, not a hint of a smile on his face. “You took years off my life, Tony. You can’t do these things.”
“I knew if I could only get a look at them, then-“
“We’d have managed. Or we wouldn’t, but still-you can’t keep doing these things. The kidnapping was bad enough.”
“I told you, I’d have found a way, JARVIS was on it, you didn’t need to-“
“Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. You’re one of us, Tony. We couldn’t just sit on our hands while someone had taken you.”
“That’s what you’re supposed to do! That’s the way it works! It wasn’t the first time I’ve been taken, you know.”
“Really? Tell me about that.” Steve’s voice is more neutral than curious, but whatever. Tony wants him to understand that he’s not a liability. All the fame, the high profile-kidnapping comes with that, but it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not a problem that should negatively affect the rest of them. It doesn’t need to be a problem for Steve.
“Steve, the first time I’ve been taken I was four. And dad told me that he expected me to outsmart my kidnappers, and, well, they let me go, but same difference. They want you to get all bent out of shape, right, and you can’t give them that, you just have to trust that I’ll figure out a way to get out, and if I don’t-well, then, that’s on me.”
“Howard told you that, did he?”
“He was right. S.I. can’t just-“
“S.I. can go hang.” Tony looks up, startled. Steve’s eyes are filled with rage, and his fists are clenched as he bites out his words from behind a clenched jaw. “I’ll do what I need to do. Tony, I’m never going to leave you, and neither will the rest of the team. Understand?”
“That doesn’t make-“
“Okay, forget that. You don’t have to understand, I’m just telling you. It’s not acceptable. I don’t care what Howard told you. Things are not like that anymore. Besides which, I don’t want to talk about that. Back there, you told Tasha to tell me something. What was it?” Steve’s eyes on him are intense, and Tony looks away.
“Uh-well, you know, I don’t--“ Steve’s still pretty unexpectedly keyed up, and Tony’s not sure what to do to get him to calm down again. Certainly he knows that part of the answer was not to get into the crap he might have said when he was literally bleeding out and not really thinking clearly. Certainly even if he did need to explain himself at some point, the time to do that is not when he’s on a shit load of drugs and his mind isn’t sharp enough to come up with a really good explanation.
“Tony.” Steve’s voice cuts into his skittering thoughts. “You’re one of us, but it’s more than that. You know that. Also, the kidnappers kept recordings, Tony. I listened to them. We all did.”
Oh shit. The world blanks out for a second, for a minute-he’d said things. Things that were-
He’d been rambling, and calling, and at one point, he’d been tired, and thirsty, and maybe had a bit of a concussion, and he can’t be responsible for the shit he says-
He can’t be responsible for saying how much he loves the Avengers, how he considers them friends, how he’s made sure that whatever happens, they’ll be fine, they’ll be as safe as he can make them, they’ll be provided for, they’ll never have to work, not if they don’t want to-
And that Steve, he’ll take care of Steve, too, not because the man deserves it-he does, enlisting so young, super-soldier, losing his whole family, biological and otherwise, and that if only Steve was his, if only Steve was, he’d do anything, but in the meantime, he’d done everything, and not just for Steve--
Yup, he might have said those things. Might have, might have said more. Might have checked with JARVIS that he had, and when JARVIS confirmed it, wiped the tapes without needing to hear the detail. Right off the SHIELD servers.
It had been three weeks, and he wasn’t quite right by the end. He hadn’t known they were taping, but wasn’t sure if it would have made a difference, even if he’d known.
But no one had mentioned it, since he’s been back, and so he had hoped.
Turns out, they were just waiting. Steve has been waiting.
He wonders, if he just keeps his eyes closed, if Steve will go away. He tries it. Peeks.
No dice.
“I-“ Tony sighs, opening his eyes. “Steve. I-I know you don’t want me. Not really. And yeah, I-I want you to be mine. I want that, but I know I can’t have it. I … I’m too possessive, I hold on too tightly. Pepper tried to tell me before she left, and it took a while before I was able to hear it. And I have nothing to offer you; nothing you actually want. Nothing, more, I mean. The Tower, and everything else; that’s yours anyway, I mean, it’s all of yours, of course I’d never make that contingent on anything, and I don’t-I don’t want to buy you. Any of you. I don’t, I wouldn’t-“
“Tony.” There’s a note of censure in Steve’s voice, and it hurts, because Steve it means still doesn’t understand.
“Pepper and Happy, they work for me, they don’t-I know you think they stay because they work for me, but they could find other jobs, I’d give them a good reference and Pepper, well, don’t think she doesn’t get head hunted every other week, of course she does. I mean, they’re mine only because they work for me, and beyond that, I don’t get to keep them … ”
“Tony.”
“… so they work for me but they could leave anytime, you know, I don’t force them to stay-and more importantly, they know they can leave anytime, because even though I pay them whatever they want they both know they could make more somewhere else. Justin Hammer kept trying to steal them even though Pepper hates him and they-I don’t know why they stay but it’s not because--I don’t, I won’t buy people, I swear I don’t.“
“Tony-“ but Tony can’t hear it, he has to finish, so he cuts Steve off.
“You can do better, you are better, I know that, okay? I’m too old, and too difficult, and hell, I don’t even know if you like men, I mean, you know, not when there aren’t a thousand beautiful models of whatever gender you want, whatever, people who are sweet and young, who would be dying to do whatever you want, however you want it.”
“Tony!”
“I know I’m not anything to you, Steve. I know, and I just want you to know I understand that. I shouldn’t have said anything, it was the damn drugs and I don’t know but I don’t want you to think that -“
Steve puts his hand over Tony’s mouth, stopping his words. “You know,” said Steve very deliberately, “for a genius you are consistently very stupid.” He releases his hand, once Tony looks like he’s willing to take a breath, only to hear--
“Hey! That’s not fair, I’m trying to make things right, to explain so that you don’t feel awkward and so you know that nothing has changed or needs to change, I’m trying, all right, because-“
“Tony. Things have changed.”
“Oh.” Tony tries not to look as devastated as he feels, but it’s hard. He can-now’s not the time. He needs to pull himself together; he needs to be strong. This isn’t even his worst fuck up, although it feels like this one might hurt the worst. Still. He’s created this mess, and he’s the one that needs to clean it up.
“How,” says Steve helplessly, “how could you think they haven’t? After you’ve said all that?”
“Because,” says Tony, and swallows past the lump building in his throat. “Because nothing really has, for me, except now you know. I don’t expect anything, Steve, I promise, I really don’t and I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll even leave if you want, but the team, the team needs you and I don’t want anything to change for them. Not when it’s my problem.”
“Tony. What if I’ve wanted you to be mine?”
There is a long silence, punctuated only by Tony’s wheezing breaths.
“What?” Tony feels like he’s in shock. He wants to pinch himself, to--
Steve’s face is filled with despair, with hope, with longing and Tony-
“Tony,” says Steve. “I was yours a long time ago. You’re the only one that never knew it.”
He can’t move enough to reach Steve, but Steve moves for him, and it’s perfect.
“Welcome home, Tony,” Steve whispers against Tony’s lips.
The smile spreads over Tony’s face, and despite the drugs, and the pain, and even Steve’s soft kiss: there’s no power in the ‘verse that can stop it.
**************************************
FIVE: “Exotic Locales”
**************************************
For all he seems larger than life, Tony is unfortunately all too human. The attack, on top of his pre-existing injuries, have resulted in a recovery that is more relapse than recovery for the first couple of days. Steve is true to his word, and ensures that Tony is allowed to move home-but the move is taxing, and leaves Tony-and the rest of the team, upset, anxious, and spent.
Steve had tried to convince Tony to stay in the hospital willingly, despite the deal, but-
“But you promised,” said Tony. “You promised.” His eyes were fever bright, and the doctors had washed their hands of the situation. Steve might have been very rash when he made the deal in his head-Tony wakes up, and I’ll take him home.
“I want to go home, Steve. Please, please, I want to go home.”
“I thought you wanted to go to the Amalfi Coast,” said Steve, trying for teasing. “Look at you, so fickle.” It had been a couple of months ago, Tony had been tinkering and Steve sketching, when Tony had seemingly randomly suggested going to Italy.
Of course Steve had refused, confused and chuckling, reminding Tony of the upcoming press conference, his S.I. commitments, a thousand other commitments and appointments and things that seemed very important.
And then Tony had gotten kidnapped, and Tony had gotten injured, and--
He should have said yes. That’s all he should have said.
“Italy.” Tony smiled, eyes still closed, hand reaching out blindly, and Steve released a breath. “I thought you said-“
Steve swallowed. “I changed my mind. You want to go, we’ll go.”
“You’ll come with me?” asked Tony, as if what Steve was saying and what Tony was hearing weren’t quite the same.
“Second you’re up to it,” replied Steve firmly. Steve found Tony’s hand, folding it firmly into his own and hanging on.
“I’m up to it now,” grumped Tony, frowning slightly.
“No, you’re not,” said Steve gently, forcing laughter into his voice. “But you will be. Is that where you want to go? The Amalfi Coast?”
“I don’t know. I just liked it when I was a kid, but what do you think? Anywhere you want, I’ll take you. If you want Mars, the drinks there suck, just so you know, but I’ll take you. Just-just please, I really, I really want-“
“Okay, settle down, come on, Tony. I said I would, and you know I’m a man of my word. Trust me.” Behind him, Steve watched the nurse deftly and silently change out the IV bags, check fluid and other levels, and nod at Steve before slipping just as silently out of the room.
“Of course, of course, but Steve-“
“Sleep for a while now,” says Steve, running a gentle hand over Tony’s hair. “Sleep, and when you wake up, I’ll take you home, and we can plan some more. All right?
“Have JARVIS run some scenarios,” mumbled Tony, “he can-“
“Sleep. I won’t change my mind, all right? I promise. Sleep.” Steve didn’t say anything then, and he wouldn’t now, about the fact that it was usually Tony who couldn’t get away, Tony whose work and obligations tied him down way more than Steve’s, Tony who often changed his mind and his plans as frequently as he changed clothes.
“Okay. Don’t go, okay?”
“I’m right here, Tony. Sleep.” Steve kept his hand where it was, watching Tony relax by degrees. He sighed when Tony finally falls into sleep.
“You’re an idiot,” snorted Natasha. “Just tell him he can’t.”
“I keep my word, Tash. I won’t do that to him.” He kept running his thumb over the back of Tony’s hand, over and over.
“Then I wash my hands of both of you,” snapped Natasha, “you deserve each other. And Steve?”
“Yeah?” He wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing, wasn’t sure of anything. He missed Bucky with a sudden pang--
“Southern Italy is best in the spring. The weather will help his breathing, too.”
Steve smiled.
***************************
Steve has a quiet word with Bruce outside the door before going back inside-they’ve set Tony up in his own bedroom, but the room looks almost like a hospital-there’s an IV, monitors, and they’ve used Tony’s money to hire three nurses full time. Tony has medical staff on retainer, so it’s not the hugest deal-but it’s still a step down from a true hospital.
When he enters, Tony’s shivering, and he looks exhausted. His eyes slide closed, and Steve jostles him very carefully as he gently slides onto the bed and slips his left arm between Tony’s body and the pillows, pulling him a little more upright, holding him securely against his own body.
“Hey, Tony, I know you’re tired, but stay awake for me for just a little while longer, okay?”
“Tired,” Tony mumbles. “Sleep, please Steve,” and it breaks Steve’s heart, hearing Tony beg. Tony tries to slip down in the bed, but Steve holds him in place firmly. Tony’s breathing is depressed; Bruce had explained in a lot of words how Tony was more vulnerable because of his post-arc reactor lung capacity issues, but the explanation doesn’t really matter. Steve knows how it feels. Steve also remembers how uncomfortable staying upright was when you were weak and dizzy and tired, but given Tony’s injuries, letting Tony lie flat would put too much strain on his diaphragm, and he’d rather Tony kept breathing.
“Just a few minutes, Tony, I brought you some soup, see? Bruce made it, and it’s delicious, just-“
“Not hungry, Steve, please,” Tony begs again, but Steve hardens his heart, and his voice is firm. He’s already let Tony get away with too much as it is. Because Tony should’ve stayed in the hospital, and not been allowed to return to his ridiculous bed in the Tower, looking too small and too breakable and too damaged already. Natasha wouldn’t talk to either of them: she was a practical woman and didn’t believe in coddling anyone, least of all someone as spoiled as Tony.
Also, Clint was sulking about the whole thing, and Natasha’s first loyalty was always to Clint.
Also, Tony had scared them, again. Natasha didn’t like being scared.
To be honest, Steve didn’t much care for it either. “Just a few sips, Tony, Bruce made me promise you’d eat something, all right,” Steve gentles his voice, coaxing quietly, “just a few sips, come on, and then you can sleep for as long as you want, okay? Just a little, Tony,” he repeats, as he pushes the cup against Tony’s lips and tilts it, strokes Tony’s throat as he swallows, “there, that’s it … thank you, you’re doing so well, Tony, I really appreciate it … “ he keeps up a steady stream of nonsense, thanking Tony, praising Tony, encouraging Tony. Tony flinches if Steve calls him good or brave or strong, so Steve avoids those words; but Tony is okay with being told something he’s done is good, and even though Tony doesn’t seem to acknowledge the praise Steve knows him, knows how badly Tony needs clear approval.
It takes a while, and Tony tries a few more times to refuse, but Steve is patient. Eventually Tony has drunk almost half the cup. While Steve is a bit disappointed Tony hasn’t managed more he can also see that Tony’s clearly spent, trembling and grey, and so Steve finally allows Tony to fall back into a reclining position-still elevated, but more comfortable than he has been, and kisses his forehead, his closed eyes, stroking damp hair back off his face. Tony sighs, a tiny exhausted exhalation of breath.
“It’s ok, Tony, you can sleep now, all right? Just rest.”
“You still want to go to Italy?” asks Tony quietly, eyes still closed.
“I don’t much care where we go, Tony. Been all over the world already; I’m just as happy to stay home.”
Nothing would ever beat coming home for Steve-he is a soldier at heart, and there is no place on earth, no matter how exotic, that will ever be better.
“Want to show you everywhere. Bet there’s lots you haven’t seen.”
“I bet there is too.” Because the world keeps changing, and many of the things he’s wanted to see are lost to him forever.
“Tell you a secret,” whispers Tony, and Steve leans in to hear him. He’s getting weaker, and soon he’ll drop off, Steve’s sure.
“Yes?” prompts Steve.
“I love it best at home, too.” And Steve smiles, shaking his head. He knows that Tony is happiest in his lab, with his bots and JARVIS and a cold pizza, no matter what luxurious haunts the world might have to offer. He shifts on the bed, slightly, intending to slip out so Tony can sleep.
“Are you going?” asks Tony, voice slurred with exhaustion. His hand reaches out, searching blindly across the coverlet for a brief minute before Tony seems to remember himself and goes still, clenching the searching fingers into a fist. Because Tony has never-never, in all the time he’s known him, just come out and asked for Steve to stay.
So Steve plays to his strengths and slips his hand into Tony’s, using action instead of words. But before he can squeeze, Tony is gripping his fingers convulsively.
“No,” Steve murmurs, leaning forward and whispering into Tony’s hair, lips against the soft skin of his temple. “I’ve told you. You’re not just mine, Tony--I’m yours. You know what they say--home is where the heart is. I’m not going anywhere without you.”
**************************************
The End. Just under the wire! Thanks for reading :-). Hope you liked it-whether or not you did, please drop me a line and tell me your thoughts! I’m open to hearing what worked for you, and what didn’t, and whether the prompts came through.
Round two, here I come!
**************************************
FOUR: “Magazine Cover”
**************************************
“Hey Tony,” says Steve, his carefully neutral voice sending alarm bells through Tony’s mind. “You’re on the cover of Futura again.”
“Relax,” replies Tony, relieved. “I didn’t sneak off. I did a photo shoot for them last year. In a bunch of outfits, and told them they could call me for a quote and then use them at will; it’s good publicity for S.I.”
He’s lying on the couch in the common room, despondently playing with his tablet. Even though Pepper’s broken up with him, she still runs his life, and as much as she usually nags him to go to meetings and the like, after this latest kidnapping, she won’t let him go to any meetings, or to his office, or even to the lab. They’re all a bit freaked, and Tony is too, to be honest-this last time, after Tony teased some new tech innovations in an interview with TIME magazine, apparently, one of his competitors, someone calling himself Dr. Rider, had him kidnapped. Tony had gone to an arranged lunch meeting with someone purporting to be from a tech group called A.I.M., it had all checked out, and then the next thing he knew, he was in a white cell without doors or windows.
They’d asked him for his tech. When he refused, they were very polite, and just told him to let them know when he changed his mind. Then, except for a couple of incidents, they mostly left him alone.
It had taken three weeks for the Avengers to find him. He’d started talking to himself, talking to the others, he didn’t even know what he’d said. He had no way to get out-these guys were smart, and scary. All he had was to hope JARVIS could trace him, and JARVIS did.
But when they finally get him out, and he’s a bit roughed up, sure, but not even that badly injured--they’re all pretty upset with him, and they won’t really tell him why.
It freaks him out, but he’s trying to go with it, to appease them somewhat until things settle. Plus, Pepper has made the Avengers promise to keep an eye on him, and while Tony didn’t think any of them would agree, they’ve not only agreed, but taken their vow (especially Steve) far too seriously, in his opinion. Even Tony isn’t quite crazy enough (or, let’s be honest, skilled enough) to escape the lot of them.
Plus, he’s tired, and the broken ribs, particularly the ones near the reactor, are still giving him grief. The doctors had nagged him about it when they last came to examine him, blathering on about rest and close monitoring and a bunch of other stuff he ignored, until they left and Clint, who apparently never got the memo about privacy and personal health information, dropped out of the ceiling to glare at Tony about the whole thing.
As if Tony had gotten himself kidnapped--again--on purpose.
As if he’d planned to waste their time trying to get him out, when if they’d just given JARVIS a little more time--
Anyway, after that whole fiasco, he’s had to say good bye to any hope of lab time, let alone communication with his company, even R&D.
Which is killing him, because there are at least three projects, aside from the new Stark phone, that he is dying to check in on and get an update on. Sure, he’d picked the project leads himself, but he still likes to keep connected.
He sighs, and goes back to tweaking the Mark 24 armor the best he can without getting to test anything.
Until it’s gently removed from his grasp.
“You’re supposed to be resting,” says Steve, smiling at him, only the hint of a rebuke in his eyes.
“I’m bored,” Tony protests.
“Well, isn’t this usually when we hang out in the lab? I can hang out here just as well while you rest.”
“Excuse you,” retorts Tony. “I don’t hang out. I am busy doing Very Important things, I’ll have you know-“
“Tony, the last time you were in the lab, you tried to make the toaster oven sing Rubber Ducky whenever Clint came within a two foot radius.”
“That’s very important! I’m trying to make Clint feel welcome and at home! Really, Steve, I though you’d support my efforts to at team building.“
“I’m not sure what we considered team building and what you consider team building are the same thing.”
“You mean back in the day? I’m not inclined to eat ration bars in a trench, Steven Grant. And don’t tell me you miss them.”
“Not the ration bars, no.” There was a shadow in Steve’s eyes, then, and Tony cursed himself. Steve had been spending the most time with him, since he’d been back-since before that, really, and whatever Tony wished, Steve didn’t owe him anything. Steve only did it because he was a decent guy, and he didn’t deserve half of all the shit that had happened to him.
Steve, Tony was sure, deserved everything.
“Buck’s-Steve, Bucky’s fine. You know he is. And we’re going to find a way to get him back. I swear.“
“If anyone can, Tony, it’d be you. I trust you,” said Steve, smiling down at Tony in a way that Tony had spent the last two years trying to ignore, but now that Pepper and he’d been broken up (almost eight months, it seems so long and not long enough, even though he’s starting to see she’d been right and this is better) it’s getting harder.
Steve’s not his, though. Steve’s got a whole other world he misses, a whole other world he can’t let go of, and a whole world waiting for him when he does. Tony’s not a part of that, not in the ways that count. Tony’s just a pit stop on his way.
The Avengers Assemble alarm starts to blare.
Steve is already leaping to his feet, twisting back only to say, “Tony, you’re benched, everyone else--Quinjet in five, go now.”
Five seconds later, the room is silent and empty. Tony drags himself to his feet, snatching his tablet, getting JARVIS to cut into the feed.
Robotic animal hybrids, apparently. Robotic animal hybrids, and - there’s acid, and Cap’s voice is steady, steady but with a note of stress, Hulk is roaring, but Bruce doesn’t really do robotics, and this smacks of A.I.M., what they said they’d do, and why is Thor not around, they need Thor-they need Iron Man-
He’s just a consultant, which means that technically he’s an independent contractor. They can’t bench him. He does what he wants.
And Iron Man wants to Assemble.
**********************
Cap, predictably, pitches a fit when Tony arrives at the scene of the battle, in the skies just to the west of Kansas City.
“Iron Man!” cries Cap, “what are you doing here?”
“Uh, battling whatever the hell these robotic random creatures are, obviously, what are you doing here?” Tony retorts, throwing a repulsor blast at a pesky flying whatever-it-is and swooping down to give Natasha a lift.
“You’re benched!” yells Black Widow even as he’s setting her down. “You idiot!”
“Nope,” says Tony. “I’m clearly not. Check your four o’clock, Widow.” Natasha swings around and does just that, taking the robot whatever it is behind her out without it ever even seeing her. “What’s the deal here, why on earth is Doom attacking here? And what even are these things? Pigdragons? Lizardgerbils? What?”
“I have no idea what rich people pets you had, Stark,” says Clint, “but there weren’t no gerbils that size where I came from. Seriously, Tony, we can handle this, you don’t-“
“Focus, birdbrain, I’m fine. You nearly got clawed there. By a flying rodent.”
As he speaks, the Hulk conveniently smashes the rat slash cougar thing, roaring up at the sky.
“Iron Man, I’m ordering you to retreat,” says Cap.
“You can’t, Cap, I’m not an Avenger, remember? I’m just here on an independent basis.”
“What the hell are you on about, Stark?” snaps Hawkeye, shooting arrow after arrow at the creatures to no avail.
“Interesting, each of these things is different, I wonder what exactly Hydra is-it’s the collar, do you see it?“
“Yeah, the one that’s flashing? I bet I could hit it.”
“I bet you could too, Hawkeye. Did I give you those disruptor arrows yet?”
“Sure did.”
“I like field tests, don’t you?”
“Iron Man, I know you didn’t give Hawkeye untested equipment, stop trying to distract me like that. Nice job, though, now please withdraw from the field. Hawkeye, we’ll just get them into position so you can pick them off, easy-“
“Tony, watch it-“
But it’s too late. He turns at the warning, but he’s still not quite 100%, and the last of the creatures claws across the armor, managing to find a seam and tearing. The claws must be adamantium, must be because Tony’s spinning, he’s spinning and spinning and how did Hydra produce this much adamantium, anyway, this is a problem, he needs to-
He blinks, and he’s on the ground, and something, something is-
“Tony, Tony can you hear me?”
“Brucie, why’re you in my room naked? This is a good dream.”
“Tony, focus for a second, where are the catches for the bottom half of the suit?”
“I don’t-“
Something feels off, and then Tony can make out JARVIS’ voice, “Sir, sir, the lower torso plate is dented, it is cutting into your skin. Blood loss is estimated at approximately 1 litre.”
Natasha is yelling at him. “Do not,” she snarled, “ever do that again. You are one of us, you understand? You’re ours, and we don’t-“
Tony’s can feel the blood seeping on the left side of where his lower ribcage would be, making everything uncomfortably squishy. He doesn’t like it. “No, I’m not,” says Tony, gasping, “Tony Stark not recommended, remember? You-“
“Don’t be stupid,” says Natasha. “And stop talking. Does your chest hurt?”
“Are you asking if I have a heartache? Really? Because you shot me down, what, five times-“ he breaks off coughing, and his throat dries up. She presses down harder, and it hurts, badly, but he can’t manage to force out the words of protest.
“Where are the damn medics?” she snarls, “and I didn’t. I was supposed to seduce you, moron, and you didn’t bite.”
“No! I couldn’t have-“
“You hide your decency, but I found it anyway, even if I left it out of the report. You didn’t take advantage of me, Tony, when you could have, and that means I like you. You tell anyone, I’ll kill you myself.”
“Might not have to go to the effort-“ Tony begins, gasping. His chest hurts almost as much as his left side does, and his arm feels numb.
“Shut up, moron! You die on me, I won’t just kill you, I’ll make it painful. And if you survive me, you’ll still need to deal with Cap. Right. I can see you understand me. Where are the damn medics?”
“Tasha,” gasps Tony, his hand flailing towards her until she catches it, “Tell-Tell Steve-“
“Oh, bozhe moi, are we in some kind of badly scripted television drama? Seriously? You can tell Cap anything you want yourself, you idiot. Don’t be stupid. As if I’d get involved between you two. Medic! Over here! Maybe you can make him less stupid.”
************
He wakes up in a hospital bed, again. This is a problem. It’s a problem, and becomes a bigger problem when he sees Natasha. Her mouth is a thin line, and she looks displeased. Like, she looks seriously pissed off. A pissed off Natasha never bodes well. Tony tries a smile.
Natasha does not return it.
“Um, so, can someone hook me up with a phone? I just-“
“There’s no one you need to call, Tony. We’ve called Pepper already for you. Relax.”
“Yes, well, now that I’m awake, I’ll just, you know, call Happy-“
“Like I said, Tony,” says Natasha, “relax. No one you need to call.”
“Listen, Widow,” says Tony, “I know this whole medical shtick is SHIELD procedure but you know, I’m just a consultant-not really SHIELD and besides, I’m a Stark, of course I have my own private physician and you know how she likes to play doctor-hey,” he says, trying to move back as the nurse kept approaching, “you guys can practice on Clint or something, go on, shoo-no, really, I’m sure you can’t afford the liability -“
“You’re not leaving, Stark,” interrupts Clint. “Stop wasting your energy. Also, you’ve been out for three days. The rest of us have been gotten ourselves patched up and debriefed in that time. Only you’re left. And guess what? We’ve had a lot of time to make sure your debrief will be extra-special.”
Tony tries not to wince. Clint isn’t usually serious, but the thing is-when Clint is serious, it never bodes well.
“Be gentle, I’m hurt?” Tony tried.
Clint snorted. You’re an Avenger, Tony, do you get that? I don’t care what shit Fury or whoever told you, you’re one of us and if you’re too thick to realize that, after everything, after everything we’ve done or said, well, then, maybe you shouldn’t-“ Clint pauses and turns away taking a breath. “I’m out of here. Tasha?”
“Right behind you, Barton. There’s no point. He’s Cap’s problem, now.”
“Damn straight.” And oh, God, that’s Steve. Tony tries to turn his head to the side, but isn’t quite able to manage it. He breathes through the panic.
“You’ve got a head wound, Tony,” says Steve, no quarter in his face or tone. “They’ve put you in a collar, so you can’t move around.”
“Can you get it off?” asks Tony, a little more plaintive than he’d like.
“No,” says Steve. “You need to keep that on, Tony.”
Tony bites his tongue and tries very hard not to squirm. He’s not sure it works. It was no secret, and Steve well knew that Tony hated hospitals. Having your first major medical procedure done without anaesthetic in a sweltering cave would do that to a guy.
Well, correction. It wasn’t just hospitals. It was anything medical, really. The sight of an IV, hell, even the smell of disinfectant, some days-well, most days; his surgery may have been done in a cave, but Yinsen had been liberal with the disinfectant (he’d had to be, in those conditions, and even then he’d said it was a minor miracle that Tony hadn’t ended up with some kind of raging infection)-gave Tony memories and triggers he’d rather not deal with. Even if the superhero business was injury prone. Because it didn’t matter. If it was up to him, and let’s face it, it always was--he’d take pain over dealing with the kind of pain the medical profession could inflict any day.
Except, apparently, this time.
“I’m not going to argue with you, Tony,” says Steve when Tony opens his mouth, “so I’ll tell you what I’ve already told the doctors, and the team. Two days. You stay here two days, and then I’m taking you to the Tower.”
“Really?” Tony blinks, trying to hide the strain in his voice. He’s been-he can do two days. If that’s all it is, he can tolerate that, he can survive that.
“Yes.”
“They agreed to that?” Tentatively, because there’s a catch, there’s always a catch.
“No. It’s what is going to happen. All right?”
“Yes.” Tony can’t help the smile spreading across his face, and blames the drugs. Steve’s word is sure and firm, and Steve doesn’t lie. And because Steve knows him. Steve knows him, and so he got him the best deal-better than he’d have gotten himself, probably-that he could. Tony never even had to ask. No wonder Natasha is pissed.
“Bruce?”
“Won’t talk to me. You know Bruce-he’s fairly laid back, but he’s stubborn as heck.”
“Like someone else I know.”
“Oh, I know someone worse,” says Steve, not a hint of a smile on his face. “You took years off my life, Tony. You can’t do these things.”
“I knew if I could only get a look at them, then-“
“We’d have managed. Or we wouldn’t, but still-you can’t keep doing these things. The kidnapping was bad enough.”
“I told you, I’d have found a way, JARVIS was on it, you didn’t need to-“
“Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. You’re one of us, Tony. We couldn’t just sit on our hands while someone had taken you.”
“That’s what you’re supposed to do! That’s the way it works! It wasn’t the first time I’ve been taken, you know.”
“Really? Tell me about that.” Steve’s voice is more neutral than curious, but whatever. Tony wants him to understand that he’s not a liability. All the fame, the high profile-kidnapping comes with that, but it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not a problem that should negatively affect the rest of them. It doesn’t need to be a problem for Steve.
“Steve, the first time I’ve been taken I was four. And dad told me that he expected me to outsmart my kidnappers, and, well, they let me go, but same difference. They want you to get all bent out of shape, right, and you can’t give them that, you just have to trust that I’ll figure out a way to get out, and if I don’t-well, then, that’s on me.”
“Howard told you that, did he?”
“He was right. S.I. can’t just-“
“S.I. can go hang.” Tony looks up, startled. Steve’s eyes are filled with rage, and his fists are clenched as he bites out his words from behind a clenched jaw. “I’ll do what I need to do. Tony, I’m never going to leave you, and neither will the rest of the team. Understand?”
“That doesn’t make-“
“Okay, forget that. You don’t have to understand, I’m just telling you. It’s not acceptable. I don’t care what Howard told you. Things are not like that anymore. Besides which, I don’t want to talk about that. Back there, you told Tasha to tell me something. What was it?” Steve’s eyes on him are intense, and Tony looks away.
“Uh-well, you know, I don’t--“ Steve’s still pretty unexpectedly keyed up, and Tony’s not sure what to do to get him to calm down again. Certainly he knows that part of the answer was not to get into the crap he might have said when he was literally bleeding out and not really thinking clearly. Certainly even if he did need to explain himself at some point, the time to do that is not when he’s on a shit load of drugs and his mind isn’t sharp enough to come up with a really good explanation.
“Tony.” Steve’s voice cuts into his skittering thoughts. “You’re one of us, but it’s more than that. You know that. Also, the kidnappers kept recordings, Tony. I listened to them. We all did.”
Oh shit. The world blanks out for a second, for a minute-he’d said things. Things that were-
He’d been rambling, and calling, and at one point, he’d been tired, and thirsty, and maybe had a bit of a concussion, and he can’t be responsible for the shit he says-
He can’t be responsible for saying how much he loves the Avengers, how he considers them friends, how he’s made sure that whatever happens, they’ll be fine, they’ll be as safe as he can make them, they’ll be provided for, they’ll never have to work, not if they don’t want to-
And that Steve, he’ll take care of Steve, too, not because the man deserves it-he does, enlisting so young, super-soldier, losing his whole family, biological and otherwise, and that if only Steve was his, if only Steve was, he’d do anything, but in the meantime, he’d done everything, and not just for Steve--
Yup, he might have said those things. Might have, might have said more. Might have checked with JARVIS that he had, and when JARVIS confirmed it, wiped the tapes without needing to hear the detail. Right off the SHIELD servers.
It had been three weeks, and he wasn’t quite right by the end. He hadn’t known they were taping, but wasn’t sure if it would have made a difference, even if he’d known.
But no one had mentioned it, since he’s been back, and so he had hoped.
Turns out, they were just waiting. Steve has been waiting.
He wonders, if he just keeps his eyes closed, if Steve will go away. He tries it. Peeks.
No dice.
“I-“ Tony sighs, opening his eyes. “Steve. I-I know you don’t want me. Not really. And yeah, I-I want you to be mine. I want that, but I know I can’t have it. I … I’m too possessive, I hold on too tightly. Pepper tried to tell me before she left, and it took a while before I was able to hear it. And I have nothing to offer you; nothing you actually want. Nothing, more, I mean. The Tower, and everything else; that’s yours anyway, I mean, it’s all of yours, of course I’d never make that contingent on anything, and I don’t-I don’t want to buy you. Any of you. I don’t, I wouldn’t-“
“Tony.” There’s a note of censure in Steve’s voice, and it hurts, because Steve it means still doesn’t understand.
“Pepper and Happy, they work for me, they don’t-I know you think they stay because they work for me, but they could find other jobs, I’d give them a good reference and Pepper, well, don’t think she doesn’t get head hunted every other week, of course she does. I mean, they’re mine only because they work for me, and beyond that, I don’t get to keep them … ”
“Tony.”
“… so they work for me but they could leave anytime, you know, I don’t force them to stay-and more importantly, they know they can leave anytime, because even though I pay them whatever they want they both know they could make more somewhere else. Justin Hammer kept trying to steal them even though Pepper hates him and they-I don’t know why they stay but it’s not because--I don’t, I won’t buy people, I swear I don’t.“
“Tony-“ but Tony can’t hear it, he has to finish, so he cuts Steve off.
“You can do better, you are better, I know that, okay? I’m too old, and too difficult, and hell, I don’t even know if you like men, I mean, you know, not when there aren’t a thousand beautiful models of whatever gender you want, whatever, people who are sweet and young, who would be dying to do whatever you want, however you want it.”
“Tony!”
“I know I’m not anything to you, Steve. I know, and I just want you to know I understand that. I shouldn’t have said anything, it was the damn drugs and I don’t know but I don’t want you to think that -“
Steve puts his hand over Tony’s mouth, stopping his words. “You know,” said Steve very deliberately, “for a genius you are consistently very stupid.” He releases his hand, once Tony looks like he’s willing to take a breath, only to hear--
“Hey! That’s not fair, I’m trying to make things right, to explain so that you don’t feel awkward and so you know that nothing has changed or needs to change, I’m trying, all right, because-“
“Tony. Things have changed.”
“Oh.” Tony tries not to look as devastated as he feels, but it’s hard. He can-now’s not the time. He needs to pull himself together; he needs to be strong. This isn’t even his worst fuck up, although it feels like this one might hurt the worst. Still. He’s created this mess, and he’s the one that needs to clean it up.
“How,” says Steve helplessly, “how could you think they haven’t? After you’ve said all that?”
“Because,” says Tony, and swallows past the lump building in his throat. “Because nothing really has, for me, except now you know. I don’t expect anything, Steve, I promise, I really don’t and I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll even leave if you want, but the team, the team needs you and I don’t want anything to change for them. Not when it’s my problem.”
“Tony. What if I’ve wanted you to be mine?”
There is a long silence, punctuated only by Tony’s wheezing breaths.
“What?” Tony feels like he’s in shock. He wants to pinch himself, to--
Steve’s face is filled with despair, with hope, with longing and Tony-
“Tony,” says Steve. “I was yours a long time ago. You’re the only one that never knew it.”
He can’t move enough to reach Steve, but Steve moves for him, and it’s perfect.
“Welcome home, Tony,” Steve whispers against Tony’s lips.
The smile spreads over Tony’s face, and despite the drugs, and the pain, and even Steve’s soft kiss: there’s no power in the ‘verse that can stop it.
**************************************
FIVE: “Exotic Locales”
**************************************
For all he seems larger than life, Tony is unfortunately all too human. The attack, on top of his pre-existing injuries, have resulted in a recovery that is more relapse than recovery for the first couple of days. Steve is true to his word, and ensures that Tony is allowed to move home-but the move is taxing, and leaves Tony-and the rest of the team, upset, anxious, and spent.
Steve had tried to convince Tony to stay in the hospital willingly, despite the deal, but-
“But you promised,” said Tony. “You promised.” His eyes were fever bright, and the doctors had washed their hands of the situation. Steve might have been very rash when he made the deal in his head-Tony wakes up, and I’ll take him home.
“I want to go home, Steve. Please, please, I want to go home.”
“I thought you wanted to go to the Amalfi Coast,” said Steve, trying for teasing. “Look at you, so fickle.” It had been a couple of months ago, Tony had been tinkering and Steve sketching, when Tony had seemingly randomly suggested going to Italy.
Of course Steve had refused, confused and chuckling, reminding Tony of the upcoming press conference, his S.I. commitments, a thousand other commitments and appointments and things that seemed very important.
And then Tony had gotten kidnapped, and Tony had gotten injured, and--
He should have said yes. That’s all he should have said.
“Italy.” Tony smiled, eyes still closed, hand reaching out blindly, and Steve released a breath. “I thought you said-“
Steve swallowed. “I changed my mind. You want to go, we’ll go.”
“You’ll come with me?” asked Tony, as if what Steve was saying and what Tony was hearing weren’t quite the same.
“Second you’re up to it,” replied Steve firmly. Steve found Tony’s hand, folding it firmly into his own and hanging on.
“I’m up to it now,” grumped Tony, frowning slightly.
“No, you’re not,” said Steve gently, forcing laughter into his voice. “But you will be. Is that where you want to go? The Amalfi Coast?”
“I don’t know. I just liked it when I was a kid, but what do you think? Anywhere you want, I’ll take you. If you want Mars, the drinks there suck, just so you know, but I’ll take you. Just-just please, I really, I really want-“
“Okay, settle down, come on, Tony. I said I would, and you know I’m a man of my word. Trust me.” Behind him, Steve watched the nurse deftly and silently change out the IV bags, check fluid and other levels, and nod at Steve before slipping just as silently out of the room.
“Of course, of course, but Steve-“
“Sleep for a while now,” says Steve, running a gentle hand over Tony’s hair. “Sleep, and when you wake up, I’ll take you home, and we can plan some more. All right?
“Have JARVIS run some scenarios,” mumbled Tony, “he can-“
“Sleep. I won’t change my mind, all right? I promise. Sleep.” Steve didn’t say anything then, and he wouldn’t now, about the fact that it was usually Tony who couldn’t get away, Tony whose work and obligations tied him down way more than Steve’s, Tony who often changed his mind and his plans as frequently as he changed clothes.
“Okay. Don’t go, okay?”
“I’m right here, Tony. Sleep.” Steve kept his hand where it was, watching Tony relax by degrees. He sighed when Tony finally falls into sleep.
“You’re an idiot,” snorted Natasha. “Just tell him he can’t.”
“I keep my word, Tash. I won’t do that to him.” He kept running his thumb over the back of Tony’s hand, over and over.
“Then I wash my hands of both of you,” snapped Natasha, “you deserve each other. And Steve?”
“Yeah?” He wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing, wasn’t sure of anything. He missed Bucky with a sudden pang--
“Southern Italy is best in the spring. The weather will help his breathing, too.”
Steve smiled.
***************************
Steve has a quiet word with Bruce outside the door before going back inside-they’ve set Tony up in his own bedroom, but the room looks almost like a hospital-there’s an IV, monitors, and they’ve used Tony’s money to hire three nurses full time. Tony has medical staff on retainer, so it’s not the hugest deal-but it’s still a step down from a true hospital.
When he enters, Tony’s shivering, and he looks exhausted. His eyes slide closed, and Steve jostles him very carefully as he gently slides onto the bed and slips his left arm between Tony’s body and the pillows, pulling him a little more upright, holding him securely against his own body.
“Hey, Tony, I know you’re tired, but stay awake for me for just a little while longer, okay?”
“Tired,” Tony mumbles. “Sleep, please Steve,” and it breaks Steve’s heart, hearing Tony beg. Tony tries to slip down in the bed, but Steve holds him in place firmly. Tony’s breathing is depressed; Bruce had explained in a lot of words how Tony was more vulnerable because of his post-arc reactor lung capacity issues, but the explanation doesn’t really matter. Steve knows how it feels. Steve also remembers how uncomfortable staying upright was when you were weak and dizzy and tired, but given Tony’s injuries, letting Tony lie flat would put too much strain on his diaphragm, and he’d rather Tony kept breathing.
“Just a few minutes, Tony, I brought you some soup, see? Bruce made it, and it’s delicious, just-“
“Not hungry, Steve, please,” Tony begs again, but Steve hardens his heart, and his voice is firm. He’s already let Tony get away with too much as it is. Because Tony should’ve stayed in the hospital, and not been allowed to return to his ridiculous bed in the Tower, looking too small and too breakable and too damaged already. Natasha wouldn’t talk to either of them: she was a practical woman and didn’t believe in coddling anyone, least of all someone as spoiled as Tony.
Also, Clint was sulking about the whole thing, and Natasha’s first loyalty was always to Clint.
Also, Tony had scared them, again. Natasha didn’t like being scared.
To be honest, Steve didn’t much care for it either. “Just a few sips, Tony, Bruce made me promise you’d eat something, all right,” Steve gentles his voice, coaxing quietly, “just a few sips, come on, and then you can sleep for as long as you want, okay? Just a little, Tony,” he repeats, as he pushes the cup against Tony’s lips and tilts it, strokes Tony’s throat as he swallows, “there, that’s it … thank you, you’re doing so well, Tony, I really appreciate it … “ he keeps up a steady stream of nonsense, thanking Tony, praising Tony, encouraging Tony. Tony flinches if Steve calls him good or brave or strong, so Steve avoids those words; but Tony is okay with being told something he’s done is good, and even though Tony doesn’t seem to acknowledge the praise Steve knows him, knows how badly Tony needs clear approval.
It takes a while, and Tony tries a few more times to refuse, but Steve is patient. Eventually Tony has drunk almost half the cup. While Steve is a bit disappointed Tony hasn’t managed more he can also see that Tony’s clearly spent, trembling and grey, and so Steve finally allows Tony to fall back into a reclining position-still elevated, but more comfortable than he has been, and kisses his forehead, his closed eyes, stroking damp hair back off his face. Tony sighs, a tiny exhausted exhalation of breath.
“It’s ok, Tony, you can sleep now, all right? Just rest.”
“You still want to go to Italy?” asks Tony quietly, eyes still closed.
“I don’t much care where we go, Tony. Been all over the world already; I’m just as happy to stay home.”
Nothing would ever beat coming home for Steve-he is a soldier at heart, and there is no place on earth, no matter how exotic, that will ever be better.
“Want to show you everywhere. Bet there’s lots you haven’t seen.”
“I bet there is too.” Because the world keeps changing, and many of the things he’s wanted to see are lost to him forever.
“Tell you a secret,” whispers Tony, and Steve leans in to hear him. He’s getting weaker, and soon he’ll drop off, Steve’s sure.
“Yes?” prompts Steve.
“I love it best at home, too.” And Steve smiles, shaking his head. He knows that Tony is happiest in his lab, with his bots and JARVIS and a cold pizza, no matter what luxurious haunts the world might have to offer. He shifts on the bed, slightly, intending to slip out so Tony can sleep.
“Are you going?” asks Tony, voice slurred with exhaustion. His hand reaches out, searching blindly across the coverlet for a brief minute before Tony seems to remember himself and goes still, clenching the searching fingers into a fist. Because Tony has never-never, in all the time he’s known him, just come out and asked for Steve to stay.
So Steve plays to his strengths and slips his hand into Tony’s, using action instead of words. But before he can squeeze, Tony is gripping his fingers convulsively.
“No,” Steve murmurs, leaning forward and whispering into Tony’s hair, lips against the soft skin of his temple. “I’ve told you. You’re not just mine, Tony--I’m yours. You know what they say--home is where the heart is. I’m not going anywhere without you.”
**************************************
The End. Just under the wire! Thanks for reading :-). Hope you liked it-whether or not you did, please drop me a line and tell me your thoughts! I’m open to hearing what worked for you, and what didn’t, and whether the prompts came through.
Round two, here I come!