Fic: Infinite Recursion (Stargate Atlantis)
When plot bunnies attack...
Title: Infinite Recursion
Author: Ivy
Rating: G
Summary: Rodney's avoiding John. This is unrepentant shmoop. The plot bunny mugged me and I was helpless to resist, I swear. Episode tag to "McKay and Mrs. Miller" - no real spoilers
John stuck his head into the lab. Rodney and Radek were huddled around a laptop, their twin blue shoulders touching as Rodney pointed at the screen. "Hey, Rodney," Sheppard said and leaned against a lab bench. It wasn't even 0600 yet and the fact that Rodney was in the lab at all meant he must not have left last night.
"But we're talking about grafting Asgard technology onto Ancient. They are two completely different platforms." Radek argued.
"But developed at the same time! The fact that both have interfaced so well with Earth technology indicates a basic similarity in design." Rodney replied.
"You're assuming that they shared technology 10,000 years ago. And you're assuming that the Asgard compatibility is inherent in the design and not the result of Asgard adapting their technology to fit Earth's."
"Rodney?" John said again, stepping closer. It looked like the wonder twins had been at it for hours.
"Hmm…what?" Rodney said absently, then continued before John could interject. "That's … even if that's the case we can use the -"
"- Earth technology -"
"- to build a bridge," Rodney finished. "Assuming not too much power is lost in the interface…" Rodney tapered off, jabbing at the laptop screen.
"That might work," Radek mumbled.
"Rodney," John said and poked him between the shoulder blades.
"What!" Rodney said and turned around, glaring. "I'm busy."
John shrugged, unconcerned. "Just wondered if you wanted to take a break. Play some golf." John mimicked a little swing.
"Yes, I absolutely want to stop in the middle of solving the universe's mysteries to lob small white balls into the ocean with a metal stick."
"That's a no?"
"Yes that's a no!" Rodney shouted.
"What are you -" John reached for the laptop, hoping to get a peak at whatever had Rodney staying in the lab all night.
"Stop that!" Rodney smacked his hand and shielded the computer screen with his body. Radek still looked lost in thought. "Go be a caveman somewhere else!"
John rolled his eyes and left the lab.
***
"Rodney, is pointless," John could hear Radek saying. "Even if you got the -"
"- which it will -"
"- working, without the ability to scan for a target -"
"Simple. We just let it identify solid objects in the liquid. It's capable of doing that."
"Rodney," John drawled.
Rodney held up a finger and said, "Busy!" without turning around. Radek didn't seem to have stopped talking.
"¬- assuming that they were the only solid objects! You'd end up with a jumper full of seaweed and fish poop!"
"What if… what if… we calibrated it to identify a specific surface texture." This was ridiculous. Rodney'd barely left the lab in days. John bet if he could just get him on the pier, he'd enjoy golf. Oh, he'd complain about John's posture and the ridiculousness of the sport, but deep down John knew he'd enjoy it.
"Yes… yes…" Radek said. "They are all regulation, so should not be a problem."
As John watched, they both ran out of the lab holding a laptop. John thought about following them. He decided he didn't want to know.
***
John was walking toward the lab when Rodney almost knocked him over. "Hey, Rodney," he said and smiled.
"Hm?" Rodney looked at him distracted. No, not distracted, John thought, noticing how Rodney's eyes darted around the hallway and he couldn't seem to figure out what to do with his hands.
"Are you avoiding me?"
"What?" Rodney squeaked. "No, no. Just - busy." He might as well have hung a neon sign over his head that said "YES."
"Busy." John said skeptically.
"Yes. Very - very - future of Atlantis might one day rest on my discoveries -"
"Elizabeth told me you and Zelenka were working on tracking ocean currents."
"Well -" Rodney hedged. "Yes."
"Ocean currents."
"Technically, but there may be other -" Rodney ostentatiously glanced at his wrist watch. "I've got to go. I'm supposed to be in the jumper bay."
"Oh." That was unexpected. Usually when Rodney wanted to go out in a jumper, he'd ask John to pilot. At least he had ever since Griffen. And Rodney hadn't said anything about wanting to take a jumper out today. "You need me to…"
"No, no," Rodney said, backing down the hall. "I'm taking Radek out. No - no need to bother. Just -" He fled.
John was a little miffed. He thought Rodney might have just blown him off.
***
"John," Rodney said, walking into the mess hall with a smug smile on his face. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sure," John said and indicated the empty chair across from him.
"No, I, uh," Rodney pointed vaguely towards the hallway and shifted from foot to foot.
John rolled his eyes. He had to admit, he was a little tired of playing guess-Rodney's-neurosis. He followed anyway.
Once they got to the hall, he turned to Rodney. "OK, shoot."
Rodney smiled again, that patented McKay condescending smirk. "I think it would be better if we talk over, ah…"
"Right," John said.
He followed McKay into a transporter and then to the living quarters, a little suspicious once it looked like they were heading towards McKay's room.
They stopped outside the door. "You said you wanted to talk?"
"Well, not so much talk as - wait - close your eyes."
"Rodney," John gritted out and glared the glare that said he was doing no such thing.
"OK, fine then." With that, Rodney opened his door and popped inside. John sniffed. Was that…seawater he smelled? It wasn't an unusual smell in Atlantis, but McKay's quarters were high up on one of the towers. Without a strong breeze, you couldn't smell the ocean from here. But here the smell was, strong as bilge water.
Rodney stood up from behind the bed and awkwardly held something behind his back. He walked around until he was facing John then shoved the object out in front of him.
"Happy birthday!" Rodney said, the smile on his face genuine this time.
"Rodney, my birthday's in three months."
"Well, technically, but if you adjust for Atlantis's longer revolution around its sun, you could say that your birthday was today. Or last week. Doesn't matter. Open it!"
John decoding the babble: Rodney was giving him his present now because he couldn't keep a secret for three months. Typical Rodney.
John took the wire basket from Rodney's outstretched hand. He ignored the fact that he couldn't open it as Rodney asked - there was no wrapping paper or even a bow.
It was a basket of golf balls. Ocean-smelling golf balls, with bits of seaweed stuck to them.
John looked up at Rodney who was eyeing him eagerly. "They're golf balls," he said.
"Well, yes, and there are more, I just didn't think they'd all fit in the basket," Rodney gestured behind him and John could see a few more bins on his floor, filled with golf balls. The briny smell seemed to be coming from them.
"I know the SGC won't let you requisition them and you can't keep using up your personal allotment on the Daedalus run for golf balls - I mean really, golf balls? That you just hit into the ocean? So I figured you'd run out, based on your previous pattern, about six weeks from now, so I got them back."
John squinted at Rodney. "You…got them back?"
"Well, Radek helped a bit, but it was really a simple matter of adapting the Asgard beaming technology to work on a puddlejumper - which is not as useful as you would think since the power requirements limit the size of the object being transported to something a lot smaller than a person - and with the sensors keyed in to the distinctive dimple pattern it was quite easy to locate them, fly out, and beam them on board. Actually, Dr. Gray is quite excited about the data we collected about their locations and depths, and with this she thinks she'll be able to create a much more accurate model of the ocean's currents in case there's another…"
Rodney trailed off long enough to catch his breath. "Anyway. I got Dr. Weir to okay the flight time by saying it was important to Dr. Gray's research, but it's hardly a practical method in the future and I'm sure she's bound to get suspicious, so -" Rodney pulled one of the golf balls out of the bin and rotated it so that John could see a tiny black hole in the center of a divot. "I put tracking devices in them. They're like the ones the SGC uses, but obviously, with the resources I had available, since I didn't want them to be large enough to affect the aerodynamics of their flight, they only have a limited range. So it would probably be best if you beamed them back right after you finish so they don't drift too far."
John looked in newfound awe at the smelly golf balls in his hands.
"I rigged a small transporter unit on the pier you like to use that should work for calling them back. It's tied into one of the naquadah generators so it shouldn't be too much of a power draw, but just don't go crazy with it. It's really only good for bringing back the golf balls."
John looked at Rodney and knew there was a dopey grin on his face. "You got me infinite golf balls."
"Well…" Rodney looked uncertain for a moment. "Yes I did."
John grabbed the golf balls in one hand and Rodney in the other. There was no way Rodney was getting out of golfing with him now.
Read on AO3.
Title: Infinite Recursion
Author: Ivy
Rating: G
Summary: Rodney's avoiding John. This is unrepentant shmoop. The plot bunny mugged me and I was helpless to resist, I swear. Episode tag to "McKay and Mrs. Miller" - no real spoilers
John stuck his head into the lab. Rodney and Radek were huddled around a laptop, their twin blue shoulders touching as Rodney pointed at the screen. "Hey, Rodney," Sheppard said and leaned against a lab bench. It wasn't even 0600 yet and the fact that Rodney was in the lab at all meant he must not have left last night.
"But we're talking about grafting Asgard technology onto Ancient. They are two completely different platforms." Radek argued.
"But developed at the same time! The fact that both have interfaced so well with Earth technology indicates a basic similarity in design." Rodney replied.
"You're assuming that they shared technology 10,000 years ago. And you're assuming that the Asgard compatibility is inherent in the design and not the result of Asgard adapting their technology to fit Earth's."
"Rodney?" John said again, stepping closer. It looked like the wonder twins had been at it for hours.
"Hmm…what?" Rodney said absently, then continued before John could interject. "That's … even if that's the case we can use the -"
"- Earth technology -"
"- to build a bridge," Rodney finished. "Assuming not too much power is lost in the interface…" Rodney tapered off, jabbing at the laptop screen.
"That might work," Radek mumbled.
"Rodney," John said and poked him between the shoulder blades.
"What!" Rodney said and turned around, glaring. "I'm busy."
John shrugged, unconcerned. "Just wondered if you wanted to take a break. Play some golf." John mimicked a little swing.
"Yes, I absolutely want to stop in the middle of solving the universe's mysteries to lob small white balls into the ocean with a metal stick."
"That's a no?"
"Yes that's a no!" Rodney shouted.
"What are you -" John reached for the laptop, hoping to get a peak at whatever had Rodney staying in the lab all night.
"Stop that!" Rodney smacked his hand and shielded the computer screen with his body. Radek still looked lost in thought. "Go be a caveman somewhere else!"
John rolled his eyes and left the lab.
***
"Rodney, is pointless," John could hear Radek saying. "Even if you got the -"
"- which it will -"
"- working, without the ability to scan for a target -"
"Simple. We just let it identify solid objects in the liquid. It's capable of doing that."
"Rodney," John drawled.
Rodney held up a finger and said, "Busy!" without turning around. Radek didn't seem to have stopped talking.
"¬- assuming that they were the only solid objects! You'd end up with a jumper full of seaweed and fish poop!"
"What if… what if… we calibrated it to identify a specific surface texture." This was ridiculous. Rodney'd barely left the lab in days. John bet if he could just get him on the pier, he'd enjoy golf. Oh, he'd complain about John's posture and the ridiculousness of the sport, but deep down John knew he'd enjoy it.
"Yes… yes…" Radek said. "They are all regulation, so should not be a problem."
As John watched, they both ran out of the lab holding a laptop. John thought about following them. He decided he didn't want to know.
***
John was walking toward the lab when Rodney almost knocked him over. "Hey, Rodney," he said and smiled.
"Hm?" Rodney looked at him distracted. No, not distracted, John thought, noticing how Rodney's eyes darted around the hallway and he couldn't seem to figure out what to do with his hands.
"Are you avoiding me?"
"What?" Rodney squeaked. "No, no. Just - busy." He might as well have hung a neon sign over his head that said "YES."
"Busy." John said skeptically.
"Yes. Very - very - future of Atlantis might one day rest on my discoveries -"
"Elizabeth told me you and Zelenka were working on tracking ocean currents."
"Well -" Rodney hedged. "Yes."
"Ocean currents."
"Technically, but there may be other -" Rodney ostentatiously glanced at his wrist watch. "I've got to go. I'm supposed to be in the jumper bay."
"Oh." That was unexpected. Usually when Rodney wanted to go out in a jumper, he'd ask John to pilot. At least he had ever since Griffen. And Rodney hadn't said anything about wanting to take a jumper out today. "You need me to…"
"No, no," Rodney said, backing down the hall. "I'm taking Radek out. No - no need to bother. Just -" He fled.
John was a little miffed. He thought Rodney might have just blown him off.
***
"John," Rodney said, walking into the mess hall with a smug smile on his face. "Can I talk to you?"
"Sure," John said and indicated the empty chair across from him.
"No, I, uh," Rodney pointed vaguely towards the hallway and shifted from foot to foot.
John rolled his eyes. He had to admit, he was a little tired of playing guess-Rodney's-neurosis. He followed anyway.
Once they got to the hall, he turned to Rodney. "OK, shoot."
Rodney smiled again, that patented McKay condescending smirk. "I think it would be better if we talk over, ah…"
"Right," John said.
He followed McKay into a transporter and then to the living quarters, a little suspicious once it looked like they were heading towards McKay's room.
They stopped outside the door. "You said you wanted to talk?"
"Well, not so much talk as - wait - close your eyes."
"Rodney," John gritted out and glared the glare that said he was doing no such thing.
"OK, fine then." With that, Rodney opened his door and popped inside. John sniffed. Was that…seawater he smelled? It wasn't an unusual smell in Atlantis, but McKay's quarters were high up on one of the towers. Without a strong breeze, you couldn't smell the ocean from here. But here the smell was, strong as bilge water.
Rodney stood up from behind the bed and awkwardly held something behind his back. He walked around until he was facing John then shoved the object out in front of him.
"Happy birthday!" Rodney said, the smile on his face genuine this time.
"Rodney, my birthday's in three months."
"Well, technically, but if you adjust for Atlantis's longer revolution around its sun, you could say that your birthday was today. Or last week. Doesn't matter. Open it!"
John decoding the babble: Rodney was giving him his present now because he couldn't keep a secret for three months. Typical Rodney.
John took the wire basket from Rodney's outstretched hand. He ignored the fact that he couldn't open it as Rodney asked - there was no wrapping paper or even a bow.
It was a basket of golf balls. Ocean-smelling golf balls, with bits of seaweed stuck to them.
John looked up at Rodney who was eyeing him eagerly. "They're golf balls," he said.
"Well, yes, and there are more, I just didn't think they'd all fit in the basket," Rodney gestured behind him and John could see a few more bins on his floor, filled with golf balls. The briny smell seemed to be coming from them.
"I know the SGC won't let you requisition them and you can't keep using up your personal allotment on the Daedalus run for golf balls - I mean really, golf balls? That you just hit into the ocean? So I figured you'd run out, based on your previous pattern, about six weeks from now, so I got them back."
John squinted at Rodney. "You…got them back?"
"Well, Radek helped a bit, but it was really a simple matter of adapting the Asgard beaming technology to work on a puddlejumper - which is not as useful as you would think since the power requirements limit the size of the object being transported to something a lot smaller than a person - and with the sensors keyed in to the distinctive dimple pattern it was quite easy to locate them, fly out, and beam them on board. Actually, Dr. Gray is quite excited about the data we collected about their locations and depths, and with this she thinks she'll be able to create a much more accurate model of the ocean's currents in case there's another…"
Rodney trailed off long enough to catch his breath. "Anyway. I got Dr. Weir to okay the flight time by saying it was important to Dr. Gray's research, but it's hardly a practical method in the future and I'm sure she's bound to get suspicious, so -" Rodney pulled one of the golf balls out of the bin and rotated it so that John could see a tiny black hole in the center of a divot. "I put tracking devices in them. They're like the ones the SGC uses, but obviously, with the resources I had available, since I didn't want them to be large enough to affect the aerodynamics of their flight, they only have a limited range. So it would probably be best if you beamed them back right after you finish so they don't drift too far."
John looked in newfound awe at the smelly golf balls in his hands.
"I rigged a small transporter unit on the pier you like to use that should work for calling them back. It's tied into one of the naquadah generators so it shouldn't be too much of a power draw, but just don't go crazy with it. It's really only good for bringing back the golf balls."
John looked at Rodney and knew there was a dopey grin on his face. "You got me infinite golf balls."
"Well…" Rodney looked uncertain for a moment. "Yes I did."
John grabbed the golf balls in one hand and Rodney in the other. There was no way Rodney was getting out of golfing with him now.
Read on AO3.