My bold declaration to charge headlong into the most intense way I can live my life from now on has certainly proven to be no small decision. It threatens to overcome me. I got notification today of a failed PhD application within the department. I had been grappling with the issues surrounding the decision, but the failure stung me a fair bit, ( Read more... )

Time to check up and check in. It's been a while since I updated, I've had a two week holiday from university (despite my attempts to sabotage it with work, my supervisor told me to get a hobby), and somehow my contact with the outside world went on holiday as well. The weather was pretty changeable, pouring with rain one minute, hot and sunny ( Read more... )

Time to check in, as I have been somewhat neglectful of updating of late. What's been happening in my life? Well it turns out that my illness was a bacterial infection, the name of which already escapes me. I got a letter from the council a week later telling me that by law they have to be informed of this particular type of infection, and that ( Read more... )

No sooner had I vowed to not let anything interfere with my exams, I fell ill to something potent enough to leave me in bed, writhing in pain and unable to take any food or liquids. Net result is that I missed half my exams, and the one exam I did subsequently take (in sick bay) may have gone quite wrong. It seems I'm jinxed to always have my ( Read more... )

The explosive fallout continues, and I try as best as I can to keep my mind on what I need to do. The exams are imminent, the revision must happen now. I was feeling like I was going to go under, like I was going to allow myself to fall short for a third time, when today I got my final Java assessment. I got 94% in it, and when I worked out the ( Read more... )

Really, I am not smart. No one who is smart does these things to themselves right before final exams. I should have known better to stray from the nerd chamber in search of what would make me genuinely happy. Now I must face the ultimate backlash for openly feeling feelings for the anointment candidate. I should have heeded the unwritten nerd ( Read more... )

Oh man no, I made a bigger mistake than I thought apparently. This has now become truly dangerous. I came within an inch of ceding 100% of the power earlier on tonight as I began to doze off on the sofa. Of late, I have been falling asleep in all manner of unexpected locations at unexpected times. This is wholly due to the fact that I lie awake ( Read more... )

Oh I've really done it this time. I must think I'm Vin Diesel or someone to be going around rocking boats so brazenly. Oh what have I done? What have I done? I can't feel the heat singeing my eyelashes any more, it's roasted my skin into crackling. I could not help but heed the call when it came, and yet I knew immediately it would be the end ( Read more... )

I continue to be punished daily for my hubris of course, knowing as I do now that dangerous avenues lead to dangerous locations. The sheer might of the anointed one and the other anointment candidates presses down on me daily, putting me under sufficient levels of pressure to cause explosive reactions, and yet also make me feel extremely alive. ( Read more... )

The days pass quickly as I attempt to cope with the phenomenal workload that has been foisted on me over Easter. Seeing their chance, the lecturers have bombarded me with staggeringly large assignments　that test my patience to breaking point. On top of that, my previous thorough humiliation in failing to display the best of my ability in front of ( Read more... )