Comments | iwishthatwasme: I just need to vent about my husband....

iwishthatwasme

I just need to vent about my husband....

Jan 14, 2007 10:33

I've been married to my husband for 4 years and it will/would be 5 years this November coming. He has put me through hell and back many many times. In past relationships all I had to deal with was a female coming into the picture and f'in things up and I thought that was all there was to worry about. But I was wrong when it came to my husband. His ( Read more... )

Comments 6

advice from an x-addict cakemixkillah January 14 2007, 18:07:22 UTC

i know this is going to sound crazy and even cruel. but you fixing his shit is only making his problem worse. you need to get out of there. not just for your emotional state but the welfare of the little ones. i used to be a drug addict and i've met many others. the only way he's going to do anything about it is if he hits rock bottom or dies. there is no other way. people with these kinds of dependencies loose their grasp on middle ground. some will say stick around, but best thing you can do for every body is pack up the kids and hoof it.

Re: advice from an x-addict iwishthatwasme January 14 2007, 19:22:58 UTC

Thanks for the advise sweetie.... it means a lot to me.

Re: advice from an x-addict cakemixkillah January 15 2007, 04:59:30 UTC

no problem at all. if you need a support system or just somebody to talk to, hit me up.

Re: advice from an x-addict cakemixkillah January 15 2007, 05:01:01 UTC

oops! i forgot to sign in. that last post was me.

spsilverfox January 15 2007, 17:39:11 UTC

if it's been this way for 4 or 5 years, it will always be this way. That's long enough that it shows that this is who he is and it's not going away. Guys won't ever change for you, not permanently.

But if you leave him, and if he is at all unhappy about this, he will try to show you that he is changing. He will tell you that he is going to do everything right, he'll quit the drugs, he'll start working, he'll do everything you've always asked him to do. Don't trust it, because if he changes to get you back when you are leaving him, then, he's motivated by fear (of losing you). If you go back, at some point he'll stop being afraid of losing you, and at that moment, he'll go right back to how he was.

(The comment has been removed)

iwishthatwasme February 3 2007, 20:43:31 UTC

Thanks for your input... and trust me i think about stuff like that all the time. Recently the thing that has really helped is that he works out of town all the time.. and gon anywhere from a couple of weeks to a month and a half... it's usually when he comes home is when the shit hits the fan. But I think I'm on the right path now to do whatI need to handle everything... I've started back at school and have one of my kids in daycare and now I need to find a job and keep me schedule organized... I'm tryin to hold on so I can be independent first... I don't want to just jump off the wagon untill I can handle the blow... you know what I mean? But like /i said him not being around all the time helps me a lot.