Jim, You are fearless. You do love more already. Patience feels like a tomb. I know.
You fear to loose Authentic because of lust. So you block it form happening. Like me, you probably torture yourself with lust so you would rather not feel that with him and you abolish the seeds of it.
let him show you when he is ready to go there - you will be ready then. It might even surprise you. You might have to cry.
Something to think about, but I really don't focus on the physical, with anyone I am interested in. I love physical intimacy and intercourse but it's not important to me when I'm out of a relationship.
When I think about him...I picture him smiling at me...knowing that he smiles like that for no one but me. I want that more than anything right now. MORE than anything.
I am a body and spirit person - I love with everything. That is me. Physical lust is part of my make-up. But physical affection pours out of my skin for people I love - it's more than lust. I am unable to stop being this way so I decided to channel it to only those who deserve it. This is why Carl bothers me. If I do not fully believe in him then why should I allow myself to please him (except that it pleases me too)? I am not sure yet. So I will do what feels right at the time - that is all I know.
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Jim, You are fearless. You do love more already. Patience feels like a tomb. I know.
You fear to loose Authentic because of lust. So you block it form happening. Like me, you probably torture yourself with lust so you would rather not feel that with him and you abolish the seeds of it.
let him show you when he is ready to go there - you will be ready then. It might even surprise you. You might have to cry.
:)
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When I think about him...I picture him smiling at me...knowing that he smiles like that for no one but me. I want that more than anything right now. MORE than anything.
Love you lots cowboy,
-Jim
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