pretty much i've had a crush on you since the day we met, but i shuddered at the thoughts of putting you in the position of rejecting me, or of putting myself in the position of being rejected due to some inane inadequacies, or of both of us giving our hearts or our hands to each other only to have either pulled apart or severed, so i opted for distant friendship instead.
that's a funny thing to say to a girl on the internet, or at all. dear someone, whoever you are, death-bed confessions like these are for people who want to jump out of planes but just can't seem to buy the ticket-- but it's okay.
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regardless, i have a ticket and am ready to jump, the flight's just been delayed is all.
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