(no subject)
You know one of these days I'll write an essay that isn't about my character's thoughts on romance.
Today's not that day. There are some quasi-spoilers (?) in here, but Furuba's been over for a while, so just read at your own risk.
Okay, so recent harassment by Shigure and confrontations by teh boyfriend has kind of made me reflect a little bit on what Kakeru thinks and his attitude toward love and relationships in general. So to kind of sort out my thoughts on the matter, here's an essay.
First off, let's start with what we know about Kakeru in canon.
Canonically, Kakeru has a girlfriend whom he lives with (presumably with her mother as well, her father is dead) He's been going out with her for over a year (?) at the current point in canon, though it's a little bit unclear as to when exactly they hooked up. Kakeru's GF canonically claims she loves him because he's very caring and attentive to her. He tries to understand how she thinks about things so that he can be a better person, I think is how it goes.
Now the whole reason for that part of the dynamic actually comes from one of Kakeru's bigger fuck ups. See it was Komaki's father who crashed into Tohru's mother and they BOTH DIED. Kakeru, upon seeing Tohru being all smiley and normal after the accident confronts her in a very negative way, accusing her of thinking that she's the only one who's suffering because of the accident, and that she's totally forgetting about Komaki's share of the sorrow. Now, in Kakeru's mind, he's more likely than not doing this for Komaki. He thinks that this is the right thing to do to defend his girlfriend in the face of the daughter of the woman his father killed. It's only later when Komaki reveals to him that she doesn't, in fact, want him to hurt Tohru on her behalf that he realizes, omigod, maybe the girl I'm in "love" with doesn't think about things the same way I do all the time?
Which leads Kakeru, in a later chapter, to claim that the reason he "loves" Komaki is because she makes him a better person or something to that extent. This, aside from the offhand comments about Komaki's adoration for meat, is I believe the only canonical reason Kakeru gives for his relationship.
Now mind you, this is a relationship that begins shortly after Kakeru stages his little rebellion against the sibling-rivalry that his parents are forcing upon him and Machi. We hear from Komaki that she had always liked Kakeru and was surprised after his total 180 to find that he liked her too.
Now, my thoughts on all of this? Kakeru's concepts of "love" and "like" are largely inflated. The reason that Kakeru was so distant to Komaki previously was because of the fact that his parents put so much pressure on him to study and probably frowned upon things like dating. So the second that Kakeru tells his parents that he's not going to live up to their standards of perfection, what does he do? Gets a girlfriend. Does Kakeru genuinely like Komaki? Maybe. But the action, given the time at which it happens, rings to me a lot more truly of "Hey, I can stretch my wings now and do what I want to do! Let's see how far I can go!" than "I really really love this girl and so I defied my parents for her sake." Mostly because Kakeru is so much more of a person about breaking convention and being a weirdo than he is about being a sappy romantic. The guy has an obsession with porn for god's sake. He's not that much of a romantic.
So does Kakeru love Komaki? No. He's with her because, at first, it was a fun and cool thing to do. He's with her now (at least at the point I took him from in canon) because, quite honestly, I think he feels like she needs him. Because he thinks she makes him a better person. And because he wants to try and understand her to the end goal of doing what she wants/making her happy.
Now, along the very same lines, is Kakeru in love with Yuki? That would also be a no. Yuki surprisingly fits into some of the same categories as Komaki. He's a friend who's very important to Kakeru. Kakeru wants to help him out and understand him. Canon even points to a certain extent of Kakeru acting on what he thinks Yuki wants with the whole Machi issue. Kakeru kind of pushes Yuki at Machi because he thinks Yuki wants to be with Machi and he thinks being with Machi will be good for Yuki. He taunts and teases him about it, he brings him to Machi's house, he leaves them alone together, he shows Yuki her bra. Now, you could argue he does this for Machi, but I honestly don't buy it. If Kakeru cared that much for his little sister, I don't think he would've stood idly by while her mother kept on forcing her to standards of perfection. So, Kakeru's shipping of Yuki/Machi = all for Yuki.
Finally bringing this around to IN CAMP, we can see now how Yuki liking Kakeru more than his sister throws him into a somewhat similar relationship to the one he has with Komaki. Here's someone Kakeru wants to see happy, here's someone Kakeru wants to understand. Is there any attraction there besides a somewhat selfish desire to protect and be the person that Yuki relies on? Nope! Well, not purely nope. I mean, Kakeru does think Yuki's hot. But the majority of the attraction stems from, as Yuki so eloquently put it, a selfish selfless desire.
So where is all this rambling going? I . . . really have no clue. I mean, Kakeru doesn't pity Yuki, but he does want to protect him and make up for what he's suffered. He wants to give him a chance to be free and to no longer be lonely. I still don't know really want the outcome of this whole fiasco is going to be in terms of their relationship. I mean, Kakeru feels a little idiotic and insulted, which puts him in a very frustrated place, that Shigure and Yuki have both kind of hit the nail on the head. He was really more than happy to not consider the greater consequences of his actions whenever he wound up returning home. He's also kind of upset that he's been somewhat called immature and called on deciding for Yuki what Yuki wants.
I mean, I'd like to see Kakeru genuinely fall in love. But I'm just . . . really befuddled at how it'll happen now. Because he is kind of a selfish guy, he is immature, he does speak for Yuki, and I dunno . . . this is probably going to make him grow a lot, but I think the way it was presented to him initially (ie: a parental figure saying they knew better than he did) will make him very resistant to the idea of it.
Today's not that day. There are some quasi-spoilers (?) in here, but Furuba's been over for a while, so just read at your own risk.
Okay, so recent harassment by Shigure and confrontations by teh boyfriend has kind of made me reflect a little bit on what Kakeru thinks and his attitude toward love and relationships in general. So to kind of sort out my thoughts on the matter, here's an essay.
First off, let's start with what we know about Kakeru in canon.
Canonically, Kakeru has a girlfriend whom he lives with (presumably with her mother as well, her father is dead) He's been going out with her for over a year (?) at the current point in canon, though it's a little bit unclear as to when exactly they hooked up. Kakeru's GF canonically claims she loves him because he's very caring and attentive to her. He tries to understand how she thinks about things so that he can be a better person, I think is how it goes.
Now the whole reason for that part of the dynamic actually comes from one of Kakeru's bigger fuck ups. See it was Komaki's father who crashed into Tohru's mother and they BOTH DIED. Kakeru, upon seeing Tohru being all smiley and normal after the accident confronts her in a very negative way, accusing her of thinking that she's the only one who's suffering because of the accident, and that she's totally forgetting about Komaki's share of the sorrow. Now, in Kakeru's mind, he's more likely than not doing this for Komaki. He thinks that this is the right thing to do to defend his girlfriend in the face of the daughter of the woman his father killed. It's only later when Komaki reveals to him that she doesn't, in fact, want him to hurt Tohru on her behalf that he realizes, omigod, maybe the girl I'm in "love" with doesn't think about things the same way I do all the time?
Which leads Kakeru, in a later chapter, to claim that the reason he "loves" Komaki is because she makes him a better person or something to that extent. This, aside from the offhand comments about Komaki's adoration for meat, is I believe the only canonical reason Kakeru gives for his relationship.
Now mind you, this is a relationship that begins shortly after Kakeru stages his little rebellion against the sibling-rivalry that his parents are forcing upon him and Machi. We hear from Komaki that she had always liked Kakeru and was surprised after his total 180 to find that he liked her too.
Now, my thoughts on all of this? Kakeru's concepts of "love" and "like" are largely inflated. The reason that Kakeru was so distant to Komaki previously was because of the fact that his parents put so much pressure on him to study and probably frowned upon things like dating. So the second that Kakeru tells his parents that he's not going to live up to their standards of perfection, what does he do? Gets a girlfriend. Does Kakeru genuinely like Komaki? Maybe. But the action, given the time at which it happens, rings to me a lot more truly of "Hey, I can stretch my wings now and do what I want to do! Let's see how far I can go!" than "I really really love this girl and so I defied my parents for her sake." Mostly because Kakeru is so much more of a person about breaking convention and being a weirdo than he is about being a sappy romantic. The guy has an obsession with porn for god's sake. He's not that much of a romantic.
So does Kakeru love Komaki? No. He's with her because, at first, it was a fun and cool thing to do. He's with her now (at least at the point I took him from in canon) because, quite honestly, I think he feels like she needs him. Because he thinks she makes him a better person. And because he wants to try and understand her to the end goal of doing what she wants/making her happy.
Now, along the very same lines, is Kakeru in love with Yuki? That would also be a no. Yuki surprisingly fits into some of the same categories as Komaki. He's a friend who's very important to Kakeru. Kakeru wants to help him out and understand him. Canon even points to a certain extent of Kakeru acting on what he thinks Yuki wants with the whole Machi issue. Kakeru kind of pushes Yuki at Machi because he thinks Yuki wants to be with Machi and he thinks being with Machi will be good for Yuki. He taunts and teases him about it, he brings him to Machi's house, he leaves them alone together, he shows Yuki her bra. Now, you could argue he does this for Machi, but I honestly don't buy it. If Kakeru cared that much for his little sister, I don't think he would've stood idly by while her mother kept on forcing her to standards of perfection. So, Kakeru's shipping of Yuki/Machi = all for Yuki.
Finally bringing this around to IN CAMP, we can see now how Yuki liking Kakeru more than his sister throws him into a somewhat similar relationship to the one he has with Komaki. Here's someone Kakeru wants to see happy, here's someone Kakeru wants to understand. Is there any attraction there besides a somewhat selfish desire to protect and be the person that Yuki relies on? Nope! Well, not purely nope. I mean, Kakeru does think Yuki's hot. But the majority of the attraction stems from, as Yuki so eloquently put it, a selfish selfless desire.
So where is all this rambling going? I . . . really have no clue. I mean, Kakeru doesn't pity Yuki, but he does want to protect him and make up for what he's suffered. He wants to give him a chance to be free and to no longer be lonely. I still don't know really want the outcome of this whole fiasco is going to be in terms of their relationship. I mean, Kakeru feels a little idiotic and insulted, which puts him in a very frustrated place, that Shigure and Yuki have both kind of hit the nail on the head. He was really more than happy to not consider the greater consequences of his actions whenever he wound up returning home. He's also kind of upset that he's been somewhat called immature and called on deciding for Yuki what Yuki wants.
I mean, I'd like to see Kakeru genuinely fall in love. But I'm just . . . really befuddled at how it'll happen now. Because he is kind of a selfish guy, he is immature, he does speak for Yuki, and I dunno . . . this is probably going to make him grow a lot, but I think the way it was presented to him initially (ie: a parental figure saying they knew better than he did) will make him very resistant to the idea of it.