top five cook/naomi scenes in season one
05. Want to know a secret? (Cook)
katie: great, it's the lesbian come to gay us up
naomi: hi, everyone
cook: want to know a secret?
naomi: what?
cook: i know the cure
naomi: cure for what?
cook: it's my cock
naomi: what the hell are you talking about?
04. They call it "soliloquising" (Freddie)
naomi: hamlet's basically a teenage boy. he's got all these desires, but he doesn't have the bottle to reach out for them. so, he goes mad, and wanks off about ophelia, and ends up so boring, somebody has to kill him!
teacher: i'm not sure that's right. there's no wanking in hamlet
naomi: yeah, there is. loads. only they call it "soliloquising"
cook: nice one blondie. she's funny.
03. sorry, i'm not a babe (Everyone)
cook: i've got so much cock hair i could back comb it and use it like a lure
naomi: nice
cook: like a porcupine
naomi: right, you're all prick
cook: tush!
naomi: you mean touché?
cook: probably
cook: now i get it you've got anger management issues
naomi: only when i talk to wankers
cook: i like her
cook: babe, babe, babe, babe, babe, babe?
naomi: sorry, i'm not a babe.
cook: yeah? well i'll be the judge of that
guess what i've got tattoo'd to me cock? come on, guess! what would you say?
naomi: excuse me! the boy next to me is acting inappropiately.
he wants to show me his tattoo, and not in a nice way.
02. me president, you my slave (Naomi)
cook: i can see your knickers
naomi: you? president?
cook: yeah, why do people keep saying that? me, president. you, my slave. why are you fighting it, naomi? you want it, i want it, let's get together and feel alright
naomi: you couldn't make me feel alright if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood under a cement mixer
cook: too pussy to take a chance little girl?
naomi: see you next time
cook: yeah, you love me!
01. Most guys ain't me, babe (Naomi)
cook: they all come to the cookie monster in the end
naomi: sorry, it just isn't a gooer.
cook: fair enough
naomi: is that it? you're not even going to try and convince me? most guys would
cook: most guys aren't me, babe. you fancy me, i'm cool with it. so there's obviously another reason why you won't fuck me and it's probably a good one because you're, you know, clever
naomi kisses his cheek
naomi: you're a lot nicer than most people think, aren't you, cook?