Fic: Once upon a time Part 1
Title: Once upon a time
Author: junkerin
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: J2 AU, Crack
Rating: NC-17 maybe a little less
Length: ~5.100 words
Summary: Jared is a magician, Jensen is a prince. But Jared´s magic doesn´t always works the way he wants it.
Song Fic: Milow: You and Me
Milow: You and me
I wish you smelled a little funny
Not just funny really bad
We could roam the streets forever
Just like cats but we’d never stray
I sometimes wish you were a mermaid
I could raise you in the tub at home
We could take a swim together
On weekly day trips to the bay
Oh you and me
It would be only you and me
Oh you and me
It would be only you and me
I wish you were a little bigger
Not just big but really fat
Doors you would no longer fit through
In my bed you would have to stay
I often wish that you had feathers
I’d keep you in a giant cage
All day long I’d sit and watch you
I’d sing for you and that would be okay
People say there are plenty of fish
In the sea, baby, all I do is wish
I wish you were a little slower
Not just slow but paralyzed
Then I could plug you into a socket
So you could never run away
I really wish that you were smaller
Not just small but really really short
So I could put you in my pocket
And carry you around all day
****
Once upon a time there lived king and a queen who lived happily in their kingdom Ackland. They had a child a; little prince by the name Jensen. Jensen was the most beautiful prince under the sun and although good at the heart. Of course so much happiness made other people jealous and greedy and so came misfortune in the realm of Ackland. King Arnulf from a neighbouring kingdom declared war on Ackland and the king of Ackland was killed in battle. The queen was stricken with grief over her husband's death and still had to lead an army in a war. So she sent her precious son away to be raised in peace. He was to return on his 21st birthday to be crowned and bring peace and prosperity back to Ackland.
****
“My queen, he is here.”
“Show him in,” the queen said tiredly. A tall young man with long brown hair walked into the chamber. He was built like a warrior and if it hadn't been for his cloak and wand she would have thought this was the wrong man.
“You are the wizard?” she asked, looking up at him. He was handsome and had eyes that kept changing colour as you looked into them.
“Yes my queen. My name is Jared. At your service.” He said bowing his head.
“Wizard Jared, I require you to bring my son back to the palace. He was raised and schooled in a castle up north beyond the great lake. I fear for his safty. King Arnulf has learned where I hid him and I’m sure he’ll send some troops to capture Prince Jensen. Do you think your magic would help?”
“Yes my queen I’m sure I can be of assistance to you,” Jared said.
Two hours later Jared was on his horse, heading up north to escort the prince back to the palace.
****
It took Jared four days to reach the castle that was the home of the young future king. Jared had to admit that he was a little nervous. It wasn’t that he was a complete disaster as a wizard; his master had always said that the power was strong in him. It was more that he was often sidetracked and suddenly his magic turned into a complete disaster.
After leaving his horse, Jared was lead upstairs to Prince Jensen’s chamber. Upon knocking he heard a melodic voice that said, “Come in.”
As Jared entered the room he found himself face to face with the most beautiful man he had ever seen. Jared looked into vibrant green eyes visible under short blond hair. Prince Jensen had fair skin and there were freckles around his nose. And his lips - his lips seemed to be made to kiss Jared. Although right now said lips didn't look like they wanted to kiss him as the prince sneered,
“Who are you and where is the rest of my escort?”
Jared bowed to the prince and hurried to explain “My prince, your mother sent me. I’m Wizard Jared. She thought it wiser if we travel.”
“She thought it wiser if I travel like a commoner, incognito, hidden and hiding? I wanted the way to my crowning be a triumph. I wanted to let the people know that their suffering is over and their savior is on his way.”
“My prince,” one of the guards spoke up, “as we have told you for the last week that would not be advisable. We found signs of of King Arnulf troops nearby.” Prince Jensen seemed to sulk at that.
“When do you plan to leave?” the guard asked Jared. Before he could answer there was a knock on the door and another guard entered. He reported that troops were moving in on the castle. Jared and Prince Jensen went above the gate to listen what the messenger had to say.
“We demand that Prince Jensen is be given to us. We will take him to King Arnulf, where he will sign a contract of surrender and marriage. You have two hours.” The messenger turned his horse and rode back.
Jared was a little bit irritated and bewildered by that because how could a prince marry a king? His confusion must have shown on his face, because the guard whispered to him: “Gender is not important for the royals. All that matters is power and influence. If you have that you can marry and demand anyone. By the way now would be a good time to tell us your plan.”
Jared had to think fast; he hadn’t expected that they would need to escape a castle. When they were back inside he said: “I will cast a spell over the prince and me. The spell will transform us in another form and we will be able to escape.”
“What form?” the prince asked , his eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“The magic will choose the right form,” Jared answered cryptically. The truth was he never knew what he would become, but he hoped for something impressive like a falcon or eagle.
“For how long will we be in this form and how will we change back?” the prince asked again. He still seemed wary of the plan.
“I would cast the spell that way it will invoke itself as soon as we are secure or have reached the palace.”
“Okay Master Jared work your magic.” The prince said with a smile that did funny things to Jared insides. He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on Prince Jensen freckles, his smile and -NO! - He had to concentrate on the magic he wanted to weave around them.
“Hokus pokus fidibus dreimal schwarzer kater: give us a secure form to travel save to the palace.” Jared and Jensen were engulfed in green light and when it faded they had become cats, ordinary lousy smelly cats. The guard who was still present took a step back and opened a window, because heaven help the prince stunk really badly.
“It would be better if you leave now,” The guard said covering his nose.
Jared was surprised. He had never been a cat before and he liked his cat form.He was a cool silver grey and he only smelled (he was sure) a little bit. The prince on the other hand was an ugly grey, white, black and orange old screwy cat and his smell was really, really bad. As fast as they could (which was pretty fast) they left the castle. The troops who saw them just turned around because of the smell. They reached the forest and were soon on the way to the palace.
While Jared liked his cat form but he was sure the prince did not. All his attempts to play were brushed off. After running for two hours, the green light reappeared and changed them back to their human form. As soon as the prince realised he was human again he turned around hitting Jared’s chest as he said,
“Do you think this is funny? I still smell like shit.”
“No Your Highness, you smell just fine now.” Jared said in an attempt to placate the prince but Jensen just huffed, turned around and continued to walk south.
****
The next morning Jared and Jensen reached the shore of the great lake. Jared wanted to stay on land and walk along the lake, but Jensen decided he wanted to rent a boat and ordered Jared to talk with a fisher to rent them one. So Jared found himself in a little sailing boat, sailing to the south shore.
It was a nice sunny day and Jensen and Jared found time to talk. Jared told Jensen about his master and the other jobs he had worked and Jensen told him about his life at the castle and his plans for his kingdom.
After several hours on the lake, Jared saw another ship in the distance.When it came closer he saw that it was black and had the banner of king Arnulf.
“This was what I feared.” Jared said to the prince. “Now we have nowhere to hide.” He hadn’t finished his sentence when Jensen became engulfed in green light and when it was gone Jared couldn’t believe his eyes.
Jensen had become a mermaid (or merman?), complete with a fish tail and long blond hair.
“What have you done?” Jensen asked furious.
“It’s magic and it’s the only way to hide you. Follow the boat below the water.” With that he pushed the prince into the great lake.
It was only a little time later when the other ship caught up with Jared. It was clear they were surprised to find just one person in the boat, but since they couldn’t find the prince they believed there had been a mix up and so left to follow other boats and ships on the great lake. Jared held the course to the south side of the lake and reached the other shore just before sunset. He waited for Jensen to reappear and just when the sun touched the lake in the west, a very wet Jensen emerged from the water.
“What’s wrong with you? I become a half fish and you stay happy, dry and in the boat.”
“But you were safe,” Jared said simply. He was sorry that Jensen had swam half the way but he had to see that the magic kept him safe. After a short meal they slept around a little fire in a little meadow.
****
The next morning they were early on their way. The way lead them through fields and gave them no chance to hide, if King Arnulf’s troops were still looking for Jensen. Jared hoped he would be able to get them some horses for the rest of their way.
They found a farm house shortly before noon. Jared was talking to the farmer when two things happened at the same time. The first thing was that he heard voices and horses; the second thing was that Jensen was again surrounded by green fire in the middle of the court. There was no place to hide or disappear before the troops appeared.
Jared looked at Jensen and before his eyes he became big, fat and ugly. In the middle of the court was no longer the prince, the most beautiful man Jared had ever seen; instead there was this ugly fat toad, that was so fat he couldn’t move or walk on his own legs. Even before Jensen could say a word the first soldier came through the gate followed by King Arnulf himself.
“Hey there, have you seen a young man who carries the royal crest?” The farmer looked at Jensen but his crest had disappeared under bulges of fat and so he just shucked his head. King Arnufl and his troops stayed until all of their horses had some water and then left for further search of the beautiful prince.
Shortly after they had left Jensen was magically changed back.
“YOU!” he yelled at Jared. “YOU are such an incompetent wizard. First I stink, then I have a fish tail and now this! I was fat und ugly! What would my friends say if they had seen me this way?”
“If they were true friends they would be happy King Arnulf didn’t recognise you! Do you realise that if he had discovered you, he would have forced you to sign his truce and marry him? All your beautiful plans for your kingdom would be for nothing.” Jensen swallowed, he knew the wizard was right but that didn’t mean he liked how his magic worked.
The farmer sold them two horses and Jared was happy because he would be able to move fast and bring the prince home as soon as possible. Jared expected that Jensen wished for this journey to end soon, because he was sure that Jensen didn’t like him much. At least that was what the prince muttered under his breath.
At night fall they had reached the border of a great forest.
“Is it possible for me to sleep or are you going to curse me in the middle of the night into … I don’t know a mole?”
“I didn’t curse you. I put a spell on you to protect you. Whenever there is danger you become something to escape that danger. As the smelly cat we were able to escape the castle, as the merman you were able to hide in the lake and well as this ugly fat thing nobody wanted to look at you, when in truth you are the most beautiful guy I have ever seen.” The last part Jared hadn’t meant to say loud. But Jensen was looking at him with an open mouth.
“You really think I’m good looking?”
“I said beautiful and I meant it.” Jared said with hot ears.
“I thought that you as a wizard…”
“I as a wizard- what?”
“I thought beauty is something that doesn’t matter to you…”Jensen trailed off. Jared looked at Jensen, really looked at him and Jensen felt like he was looking into his soul and maybe he was.
“It is true,” Jared said finally “Beauty is a passing thing. But there are different kinds of beauty and you seem to possess them all. The plans you told me about … the plans for your kingdom, they show me you are kind and that you have compassion for your people. Those plans wouldn’t change if you had stayed as the merman or that ugly fat guy.” Jensen smiled; unsure about the compliment but grateful for it.
“Thank you, but please no more mermen. I’m afraid of deep water.”
Jared looked at Jensen and suddenly he was laughing hard.
“A mermen afraid of deep water!” After a moment Jensen joined in and it took them several minutes to calm down again.
“Well I can’t promise you, you won’t change again before we reached the palace, but since the great lake is behind us I can promises you no more merman.”He said.
“And toad,” Jensen said. “Then you would have to kiss me to change me back.”
“You mean frog. And actually she threw the prince against the wall and kissed him after he became human…”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Jensen said and suddenly his soft pink lips were on Jared’s mouth. Jensen’s tongue traced his bottom lip and Jared opened his mouth. Jensen took the invitation for what it was and licked into Jared’s mouth. They kissed for several minutes, then Jared pulled slowly back and said, “We need to sleep, tomorrow will be…, we have a long way ahead of us.” Jensen nodded and wished Jared a good night. If they slept closer to one another neither of them mentioned it.
Author: junkerin
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen
Genre: J2 AU, Crack
Rating: NC-17 maybe a little less
Length: ~5.100 words
Summary: Jared is a magician, Jensen is a prince. But Jared´s magic doesn´t always works the way he wants it.
Song Fic: Milow: You and Me
Milow: You and me
I wish you smelled a little funny
Not just funny really bad
We could roam the streets forever
Just like cats but we’d never stray
I sometimes wish you were a mermaid
I could raise you in the tub at home
We could take a swim together
On weekly day trips to the bay
Oh you and me
It would be only you and me
Oh you and me
It would be only you and me
I wish you were a little bigger
Not just big but really fat
Doors you would no longer fit through
In my bed you would have to stay
I often wish that you had feathers
I’d keep you in a giant cage
All day long I’d sit and watch you
I’d sing for you and that would be okay
People say there are plenty of fish
In the sea, baby, all I do is wish
I wish you were a little slower
Not just slow but paralyzed
Then I could plug you into a socket
So you could never run away
I really wish that you were smaller
Not just small but really really short
So I could put you in my pocket
And carry you around all day
****
Once upon a time there lived king and a queen who lived happily in their kingdom Ackland. They had a child a; little prince by the name Jensen. Jensen was the most beautiful prince under the sun and although good at the heart. Of course so much happiness made other people jealous and greedy and so came misfortune in the realm of Ackland. King Arnulf from a neighbouring kingdom declared war on Ackland and the king of Ackland was killed in battle. The queen was stricken with grief over her husband's death and still had to lead an army in a war. So she sent her precious son away to be raised in peace. He was to return on his 21st birthday to be crowned and bring peace and prosperity back to Ackland.
****
“My queen, he is here.”
“Show him in,” the queen said tiredly. A tall young man with long brown hair walked into the chamber. He was built like a warrior and if it hadn't been for his cloak and wand she would have thought this was the wrong man.
“You are the wizard?” she asked, looking up at him. He was handsome and had eyes that kept changing colour as you looked into them.
“Yes my queen. My name is Jared. At your service.” He said bowing his head.
“Wizard Jared, I require you to bring my son back to the palace. He was raised and schooled in a castle up north beyond the great lake. I fear for his safty. King Arnulf has learned where I hid him and I’m sure he’ll send some troops to capture Prince Jensen. Do you think your magic would help?”
“Yes my queen I’m sure I can be of assistance to you,” Jared said.
Two hours later Jared was on his horse, heading up north to escort the prince back to the palace.
****
It took Jared four days to reach the castle that was the home of the young future king. Jared had to admit that he was a little nervous. It wasn’t that he was a complete disaster as a wizard; his master had always said that the power was strong in him. It was more that he was often sidetracked and suddenly his magic turned into a complete disaster.
After leaving his horse, Jared was lead upstairs to Prince Jensen’s chamber. Upon knocking he heard a melodic voice that said, “Come in.”
As Jared entered the room he found himself face to face with the most beautiful man he had ever seen. Jared looked into vibrant green eyes visible under short blond hair. Prince Jensen had fair skin and there were freckles around his nose. And his lips - his lips seemed to be made to kiss Jared. Although right now said lips didn't look like they wanted to kiss him as the prince sneered,
“Who are you and where is the rest of my escort?”
Jared bowed to the prince and hurried to explain “My prince, your mother sent me. I’m Wizard Jared. She thought it wiser if we travel.”
“She thought it wiser if I travel like a commoner, incognito, hidden and hiding? I wanted the way to my crowning be a triumph. I wanted to let the people know that their suffering is over and their savior is on his way.”
“My prince,” one of the guards spoke up, “as we have told you for the last week that would not be advisable. We found signs of of King Arnulf troops nearby.” Prince Jensen seemed to sulk at that.
“When do you plan to leave?” the guard asked Jared. Before he could answer there was a knock on the door and another guard entered. He reported that troops were moving in on the castle. Jared and Prince Jensen went above the gate to listen what the messenger had to say.
“We demand that Prince Jensen is be given to us. We will take him to King Arnulf, where he will sign a contract of surrender and marriage. You have two hours.” The messenger turned his horse and rode back.
Jared was a little bit irritated and bewildered by that because how could a prince marry a king? His confusion must have shown on his face, because the guard whispered to him: “Gender is not important for the royals. All that matters is power and influence. If you have that you can marry and demand anyone. By the way now would be a good time to tell us your plan.”
Jared had to think fast; he hadn’t expected that they would need to escape a castle. When they were back inside he said: “I will cast a spell over the prince and me. The spell will transform us in another form and we will be able to escape.”
“What form?” the prince asked , his eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“The magic will choose the right form,” Jared answered cryptically. The truth was he never knew what he would become, but he hoped for something impressive like a falcon or eagle.
“For how long will we be in this form and how will we change back?” the prince asked again. He still seemed wary of the plan.
“I would cast the spell that way it will invoke itself as soon as we are secure or have reached the palace.”
“Okay Master Jared work your magic.” The prince said with a smile that did funny things to Jared insides. He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on Prince Jensen freckles, his smile and -NO! - He had to concentrate on the magic he wanted to weave around them.
“Hokus pokus fidibus dreimal schwarzer kater: give us a secure form to travel save to the palace.” Jared and Jensen were engulfed in green light and when it faded they had become cats, ordinary lousy smelly cats. The guard who was still present took a step back and opened a window, because heaven help the prince stunk really badly.
“It would be better if you leave now,” The guard said covering his nose.
Jared was surprised. He had never been a cat before and he liked his cat form.He was a cool silver grey and he only smelled (he was sure) a little bit. The prince on the other hand was an ugly grey, white, black and orange old screwy cat and his smell was really, really bad. As fast as they could (which was pretty fast) they left the castle. The troops who saw them just turned around because of the smell. They reached the forest and were soon on the way to the palace.
While Jared liked his cat form but he was sure the prince did not. All his attempts to play were brushed off. After running for two hours, the green light reappeared and changed them back to their human form. As soon as the prince realised he was human again he turned around hitting Jared’s chest as he said,
“Do you think this is funny? I still smell like shit.”
“No Your Highness, you smell just fine now.” Jared said in an attempt to placate the prince but Jensen just huffed, turned around and continued to walk south.
****
The next morning Jared and Jensen reached the shore of the great lake. Jared wanted to stay on land and walk along the lake, but Jensen decided he wanted to rent a boat and ordered Jared to talk with a fisher to rent them one. So Jared found himself in a little sailing boat, sailing to the south shore.
It was a nice sunny day and Jensen and Jared found time to talk. Jared told Jensen about his master and the other jobs he had worked and Jensen told him about his life at the castle and his plans for his kingdom.
After several hours on the lake, Jared saw another ship in the distance.When it came closer he saw that it was black and had the banner of king Arnulf.
“This was what I feared.” Jared said to the prince. “Now we have nowhere to hide.” He hadn’t finished his sentence when Jensen became engulfed in green light and when it was gone Jared couldn’t believe his eyes.
Jensen had become a mermaid (or merman?), complete with a fish tail and long blond hair.
“What have you done?” Jensen asked furious.
“It’s magic and it’s the only way to hide you. Follow the boat below the water.” With that he pushed the prince into the great lake.
It was only a little time later when the other ship caught up with Jared. It was clear they were surprised to find just one person in the boat, but since they couldn’t find the prince they believed there had been a mix up and so left to follow other boats and ships on the great lake. Jared held the course to the south side of the lake and reached the other shore just before sunset. He waited for Jensen to reappear and just when the sun touched the lake in the west, a very wet Jensen emerged from the water.
“What’s wrong with you? I become a half fish and you stay happy, dry and in the boat.”
“But you were safe,” Jared said simply. He was sorry that Jensen had swam half the way but he had to see that the magic kept him safe. After a short meal they slept around a little fire in a little meadow.
****
The next morning they were early on their way. The way lead them through fields and gave them no chance to hide, if King Arnulf’s troops were still looking for Jensen. Jared hoped he would be able to get them some horses for the rest of their way.
They found a farm house shortly before noon. Jared was talking to the farmer when two things happened at the same time. The first thing was that he heard voices and horses; the second thing was that Jensen was again surrounded by green fire in the middle of the court. There was no place to hide or disappear before the troops appeared.
Jared looked at Jensen and before his eyes he became big, fat and ugly. In the middle of the court was no longer the prince, the most beautiful man Jared had ever seen; instead there was this ugly fat toad, that was so fat he couldn’t move or walk on his own legs. Even before Jensen could say a word the first soldier came through the gate followed by King Arnulf himself.
“Hey there, have you seen a young man who carries the royal crest?” The farmer looked at Jensen but his crest had disappeared under bulges of fat and so he just shucked his head. King Arnufl and his troops stayed until all of their horses had some water and then left for further search of the beautiful prince.
Shortly after they had left Jensen was magically changed back.
“YOU!” he yelled at Jared. “YOU are such an incompetent wizard. First I stink, then I have a fish tail and now this! I was fat und ugly! What would my friends say if they had seen me this way?”
“If they were true friends they would be happy King Arnulf didn’t recognise you! Do you realise that if he had discovered you, he would have forced you to sign his truce and marry him? All your beautiful plans for your kingdom would be for nothing.” Jensen swallowed, he knew the wizard was right but that didn’t mean he liked how his magic worked.
The farmer sold them two horses and Jared was happy because he would be able to move fast and bring the prince home as soon as possible. Jared expected that Jensen wished for this journey to end soon, because he was sure that Jensen didn’t like him much. At least that was what the prince muttered under his breath.
At night fall they had reached the border of a great forest.
“Is it possible for me to sleep or are you going to curse me in the middle of the night into … I don’t know a mole?”
“I didn’t curse you. I put a spell on you to protect you. Whenever there is danger you become something to escape that danger. As the smelly cat we were able to escape the castle, as the merman you were able to hide in the lake and well as this ugly fat thing nobody wanted to look at you, when in truth you are the most beautiful guy I have ever seen.” The last part Jared hadn’t meant to say loud. But Jensen was looking at him with an open mouth.
“You really think I’m good looking?”
“I said beautiful and I meant it.” Jared said with hot ears.
“I thought that you as a wizard…”
“I as a wizard- what?”
“I thought beauty is something that doesn’t matter to you…”Jensen trailed off. Jared looked at Jensen, really looked at him and Jensen felt like he was looking into his soul and maybe he was.
“It is true,” Jared said finally “Beauty is a passing thing. But there are different kinds of beauty and you seem to possess them all. The plans you told me about … the plans for your kingdom, they show me you are kind and that you have compassion for your people. Those plans wouldn’t change if you had stayed as the merman or that ugly fat guy.” Jensen smiled; unsure about the compliment but grateful for it.
“Thank you, but please no more mermen. I’m afraid of deep water.”
Jared looked at Jensen and suddenly he was laughing hard.
“A mermen afraid of deep water!” After a moment Jensen joined in and it took them several minutes to calm down again.
“Well I can’t promise you, you won’t change again before we reached the palace, but since the great lake is behind us I can promises you no more merman.”He said.
“And toad,” Jensen said. “Then you would have to kiss me to change me back.”
“You mean frog. And actually she threw the prince against the wall and kissed him after he became human…”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Jensen said and suddenly his soft pink lips were on Jared’s mouth. Jensen’s tongue traced his bottom lip and Jared opened his mouth. Jensen took the invitation for what it was and licked into Jared’s mouth. They kissed for several minutes, then Jared pulled slowly back and said, “We need to sleep, tomorrow will be…, we have a long way ahead of us.” Jensen nodded and wished Jared a good night. If they slept closer to one another neither of them mentioned it.